Eric's (possibly short-lived) journal

[eric_andrew]

Hi, I'm going to try journaling here. I've been debating starting a journal, as it seems like a big commitment, but I'm going to give it a try and abandon it without guilt if I lose steam.

I want to be clear up front that this is a masturbation safe space. I like masturbation, and am not planning on stopping permanently, and I think there's a lot of benefit in touching ourselves in ways that others don't - life is too short to miss out on that experience IMO. No MB shaming here. However, I'm cutting MB back in the interest of triggering WD if possible. I also am married and not planning on giving up sex, so I recognize this will be a difficult goal!

So I'll start here.

I last had sex on November 27, and then my wife was out of town, and now that she's back we've been busy (with life, not "getting busy" busy). I have not been horny up until really today, despite some sexual dreams for a few nights, which is somewhat surprising to me.

I started taking ZMA two nights ago as I wanted to test the (probably unsubstantiated) claims of more vivid dreams. Of course, after a few nights of pretty sexy dreams, these past two nights with ZMA I remembered exactly 0 of my dreams! I'll keep it up though and see if it makes a difference for at least the next month.

Today my cock is feeling buzzy periodically and when I think about it, and when I used the restroom at work I noticed I had been leaking cum which has never really happened to me before.

Days since last sex: 10
Days since last MB: 39

[eric_andrew]

Not really horny today, and no leaking during the day, or as far as I can tell, last night. Remembered only a tiny fragment of one dream, so the ZMA is so far not making my dreams more vivid! But my REM was >2 hours for the past two nights, so the ZMA may be increasing the REM, I'll need more data to know for sure but I generally am around 1.5 or 1.75 hours of REM on a normal sleep work night.

Days since last orgasm: 11
Days since last sex: 11
Days since last MB: 40

[eric_andrew]

Sleep quality continues to get worse, which always seems connected to AB for me. I won't be able to hold out forever as I need more than 6 hours of sleep, but I can probably do a few more days. I need to go to bed earlier tonight.

I've was hornier yesterday, and was experimenting with some breathing techniques. I've never achieved HF orgasm before, but no harm in trying!

Days since last orgasm: 13
Days since last sex: 13
Days since last MB: 42

[eric_andrew]

Sleep quality is still not great, but going to bed earlier has helped. Had a dream that I woke up in a shared house with a small amount of cum leaking in my underwear. I took them off and wanted to take a picture of it. In this dream it wasn't weird to be naked around the other people there but I was trying to hide the cum as I felt self-conscious about it.

Days since last orgasm: 15
Days since last sex: 15
Days since last MB: 44

[eric_andrew]

I had a vivid dream last night, I was showering with my wife and masturbating and I came everywhere. Walls, ceiling, I was just spraying cum all over the place. Of course, my underwear were completely dry. No idea why my body had that much of an opportunity and didn't take it!

Days since last orgasm: 16
Days since last sex: 16
Days since last MB: 45

[Ph12345]

Very nice!

[eric_andrew]

No joy the last two nights - no sexy dreams at all, and only a bit of leaking precum during the night.

I'm looking forward to sleeping better after having orgasms again - I got less than six hours last night. I'll be on vacation from work till the end of the year after today, and while I'll continue avoiding masturbation for now, I'll be back to sex regularly. I'm really looking forward to a release, and to seeing how things feel after this much time away.

Days since last orgasm: 18
Days since last sex: 18
Days since last MB: 47

[Texanguy]

Keep going with the AB, and let us know about any changes you experience with the sex. One married guy here for a while, named Lucid, pursued lucid dreaming and kept a dream journal here. Along the way, he decided to totally quit MB, and said that made him be ready for sex with his wife half an hour after having sex with her. But then he reached the point where he said he preferred to save it for his lucid WDs exclusively, but complied when his wife wanted sex.

Interesting evolution.

He decided to leave WDF when his dream journal that he kept here became too time consuming.

[eric_andrew]

I have been keeping a dream journal on my phone for over a year. Would love to lucid dream but so far I haven't had any success.

Had really good sex yesterday, came twice, and slept like a baby last night.

[eric_andrew]

Nothing new to report.

Days since last orgasm: 2
Days since last sex: 2
Days since last MB: 49