The 90 days of NeverWDb4

[NeverWDb4]

Day 2 of October AB

Today was a good day, I had my haircut and it looked pretty nice but my problem started when I came home from the salon. I was watching the menendez brothers show on Netflix and there was a scene when one of the brother was in the showers and his pp was fully exposed. It was hung, proper huge. That was issue 1

I took a shower and decided to freeball for comfort and I suddenly had raging boners, there were multiple even when I left the shower and started doing gardening stuff. That was issue 2 however I enjoy the natural hornies that came from this. This also allowed my favourite thing to happen: a precum leak although it was tiny.

I had the urges to get back into kegels but specifically naked kegels as being naked allows you to see more clearly the muscles working or being activated, so I searched on Google and found a tutorial on this but it was on a sexually explicit site so I searched up whether P could be educational which someone believe it could. I watched the video but rather talking about kegels alone, he was also promoting edging and how to last longer in bed. This was the biggest red flag as he started beating his meat rapidlybit luckily I managed to close the tab or else things would have escalated.

I waa watching TT earlier and some guy was live talking about how P ruins your life and asked him the question whether P could be educational but he took it to far and rather answering my question calmly (as Dumbledore said), he started berating me on why I could even think that. I agree what education purpose could choking or spitting on your partner give but I was referring to these video where individuals are solo, teaching you about certain aspects of the human body.

[Seqiro]

Its good that you can find the self dicipline to be able to hit the brakes and change the situaton that could lead to negative results with your AB goals. Keep up the awesome work!

[NeverWDb4]

Day 13 - Pre/Piss

I had quite a busy day away from my phone today until I had the urges again around 7pm. I was moderately aroused but had the feeling that I needed to pee so I stopped. When I got to the bathroom, I noticed that there was some pre on my tip so I tried to squeeze it out which let some out but not enough to drip it (which I really want to happen) so I went to pee whilst trying to stop it at the same time (kegels I guess) but no pre came out so I let it flow and there were yellow pee which were dangling like precum. Idk what this could mean but it was exciting to see again, practically a year apart.

[NeverWDb4]

Day 3 - Accountability Partner

It's been a while since I updated this journal. I installed a naughty website blocker on my phone and it also registers this forum as one of them, the chatroom is fine though. I also found an accountability partner who is roughly the same age as me so I hope his assistance will be beneficial in keeping me in check as well as the words of wisdom he regularly tells me. No sexual urges as of right now and especially no porn as I think it is the root cause of my issues surrounding AB. I've been working on mindfulness and controlling my cravings with a range of strategies.

I'll try to update this log daily or even weekly rather than sporadically messaging whenever I remember, which is often months at a time.

[NeverWDb4]

Day 4 - SE out of the blue

Last night, I experienced something peculiar. I had a spontaneous ejaculation, something that I cannot remember having ever in my life. I'll retell the events.

It had already felt something coming as I had the feeling of fullness. I was somewhat mentally aroused as my friend told me about a HFO they experienced the day before but I didn't touch or jerk off but there was a mighty erection.

I had gotten into bed, drank some water before I slept but still had that fullness feeling but not the urge to pee. This was the unusual part of things as previous experiences of fullness assumed to be WD signals resulted in urination but this time it wasn't.

I roughly dozed off around 3am but woke up an hour later to the stormy weather outside. This was annoying since I was already tired and knew that a WD was imminent or somewhat close by.

I started talking to my friend about the weather and he sends a tutorial on HFOs which i insisted he send since I'm a curious guy. This video did cause some arousal but it was quickly shut down before it escalated to further porn use. At that point, I was not touching or stroking but rather letting the horniness to be embraced handsfree. This resulted in lots of precum to be produced. I also believe that increase in precum also lead to signs of a WD or pent up arousal.

I was now 90% certain that a WD was going to occur this night so I switched off my phone and browsed through yt and tiktok. I suddenly got an erection and went to adjust it and semen started to pump out. I tried to grab my pp to stop the flow but I wasn't quick enough and this resulted in my uw to be soaked.

I'm not sure how this will affect my streak but I'm adamant to not slip up since this was a release and this could potentially put me back on day 1 of AB.

[NeverWDb4]

This is the aftermath, 20 hours later

[NeverWDb4]

Day 5 - Nothing Spectacular

Today was quite boring and uneventful I woke up early, got into a routine for the day and finished off going to bed early.

No masturbation or porn watching, but some temptation was there but I didn't give in

[NeverWDb4]

Day 6 - A bit of temptation but nothing special... yet

[NeverWDb4]

Day 7 - HFO

I had a HFO, which was weird. Within the week, my body has gone through ways to ej without mb. I think it's good changes but it's getting messy

[Texanguy]

Keep going! Try not to force SEs or especially HFO's -- assuming you want your brain/body to move towards WDs. I don't think it's the loss of semen that's the problem as much as it is the brain reinforcing other outlets over WDs.

Good luck!