The 90 days of NeverWDb4

[NeverWDb4]

27/2/24

It has been over a month since my last log, frankly, I have been quite preoccupied with life. My schedule has been drastically altered and I find myself lacking ambition and motivation to work but definitely finding myself enjoying sports and gaming thus leading to me being a few hours behind on lectures and overall dissatisfaction with myself. I have been practicing abstinence on and off and this was mainly the reason I wanted to start writing again. 1. To keep myself accountable for my life choices, be it work or lifestyle changes like gym and ensuring I get 10k steps a day which I can do by playing PoGo. 2. Documenting the changes I feel or experience whilst aiming to get past a month of AB. 3. Keep you guys updated on my journey.

Today, I had urges on and off like usual. This was accompanied by conflicting thoughts of right and wrong and rational decision against impulsiveness. I eventually did some kegels which led to some feelings of fluid passing in my urethra but that was just feeling not reality. I ejaculated and decided that it was for the best and turned the situation into an experiment into whether it would affect my physical and athletic performance for my badminton match tomorrow. I had gym shortly after and this was the outcome I came too. I had performed better and lifted more than I usually did with AB. I am not going to jump to conclusions and say that this is for definite but it was eye opening into why this happened despite the general theory that ejaculation makes you weaker.

I will update you guys on how my match is tomorrow and whether my performance is better or worse than usual.

[Seqiro]

Welcome back, and good luck with your goals! Logging here can help keep you accountable, and spending some time in chat at night, just to check in and say hi, can also remind you of your goals. We support one another here, and encourage each other on. Its not always an easy path to walk, and is full of its challenges and slip-ups, but knowing that we can get better at handling this challenge should convince us that we are capable of a LOT more than we give ourselves credit for. Use your support systems, both here and in your daily life. Have a 3-Time Check In during the day. Use a log book, and check in once in the morning - note in the logbook if you made it the morning without stimulation (metal or physical), again in the afternoon, and once again in the evening. After awhile, this should become an automatic knee-jerk reaction, and you will be able to self-check mentally without a logbook.

It will help you with your accountability goals, and keep you on track with your AB goals. If you want to be serious about them.

Again, welcome back and good luck!

[NeverWDb4]

5/3/24

Today was alright. I had a nightmare which confused me today as I don't usually dream yet alone have a bad hellish one. I did some work despite having a sudden cold out of nowhere. Perhaps, it was when I commuted back into the city after traveling home for a brief moment. No WD, and No EJ so still on the AB streak.

[NeverWDb4]

13/6/24

Wow, it's been so long since I've updated this log. This period of time has been so busy with university work and other activity commitments with my friends.

I have now completed my degree and all my friends have departed to go back home. I'm hoping to get back on the AB bandwagon and fully dedicate myself to attain at least one WD, the thought and effort matter more than the results currently.

Before this current log entry, I had been mb'ing on and off as I felt that was the most natural way to go abouts my life until now, mb no longer has the spark or comfort I used to achieve. I believe this may partly be due to excessive mb or the recent increase in P consumption. Both of which I hope to reduce.

I am soon returning back home to be with my family, reducing the amount of time I can spend alone, doing both: mb/P consumption.

Currently, on day 1 as yesterday was the day I found out the lack of enjoyment and pleasure.

[NeverWDb4]

Mid Day Update - 13/6/24

Perhaps, this may hold me more accountable for my actions

Extremely horny last night but didn't bust a nut

Currently, not horny and feeling very energetic but it's raining so watching Netflix instead.

[NeverWDb4]

Bedtime Update

Hornies have returned to normal levels

Going Home today so hopefully no random spikes around family members or else chop chop/go and do physical activity to use up energy

[NeverWDb4]

10 days has officially passed and it has definitely been tough. Many mental challenges of impulsive behaviour, 'gooning' and outright weirdness has happened despite my efforts to control them to the best of my ability.

I'm now tackling the issue of P as it is still the root cause for my addiction, as it is for many, whilst using the reward of having more precum/potential WD as a driver for success and motivation, thus no choking the chicken.

[NeverWDb4]

I has also discovered a spot of bruising on my penis so I think it's more than enough incentive to stop jerking even if I have the aim of not nutting. I definitely must wait for it to heal and in the meantime, I will stay away from P

[Irigidy]

Great idea! I wish lot of endurance and you can hold out for a long time without mb.

[NeverWDb4]

Back to Day 1

I have returned back to uni and I had access to my privacy and sex toys again so you guess it the occasion came to arise. I remember I found some hot P before I left to go back home which got me extremely in the mood.

The weather is terribly hot so no undies or clothes tonight, which only added to the horniness.

I had a mini orgasm when edging so I felt guilty from that and just ended up resetting.

To conclude, it wasn't worth it. My balls ached a bit after cumming and sure, it was nice to feel an orgasm but the mind just wasn't in the right place so the pleasure was not as good.

Hopefully, I can get some good sleep in preparation for my driving test in the coming days.