The 90 days of NeverWDb4

[marbles428]

Congrats on holding back! The time around the 1 week point was the most difficult for me and I completely understand that urge so it’s nice to see you didn’t completely give in. Keep going!

[NeverWDb4]

Day 9 - Thursday

It's been a while since I've hit this streak intentionally or unintentionally but it's unfortunate to say that it has been lost

Last night was probably one of the worst night I could have imagined as I spent the whole night unable to fall asleep. It was highly unusual as it was the first time in roughly 4 months where I truly couldn't fall asleep, although last time was due to stress and the imminent essay deadline due the next day. I was presented with the option to either sleep a relatively small amount or stay awake and sleep later after my lectures. I chose the latter and returned to an old habit of P watching. This was potentially the worst decision I could have made as it created a spiral into madness from watching my favourite videos to the newest rookies on the webcam sites. After several hours of edging and 'gooning', I was overcome with horniness, with a lack of clarity from a lack of sleep, and decided to ej on my body; something u have not done since I was 16 as I learnt that it was unhygienic especially if you did it the night before school and didn't shower in the morning. After I did that stunt, I started forming more rational and logical thoughts and tried to justify my actions whilst I was cleaning up.

Several hours later passed and I had finished my lecture and came home to play Table Tennis with my mate, that was pretty fun and made me forget about the incident broke my AB streak. I then realized that I had badminton training approx 30 mins after I had finished playing with him and quickly rushed back to my room. The Sports Hall is a 37 min walk so I was late . I still made it on time to training and training was good but as a result of my lackluster amount of sleep, I sucked. I couldn't defend well and was essentially thrashed.

I came home to eat some dinner and was knocked out the second I went to bed. I woke up from this brief nap and realized I hadn't showered yet so I did that immediately. I messaged my cousin whether he was free on the weekend and he replied with 'perhaps maybe', I followed up by 'I could potentially visit you' and he quickly texted back saying 'he was busy unfortunately'. This made me quite paranoid and frankly a little bit depressed, which I could attribute this feeling as a result of losing some nut and spiritual energy. A blow to my confidence and other happy feelings.

I haven't resetted the days as I believe that it's a journey rather than a streak although this is the last time I will allow myself to do this as I have full accountability to update and follow through with my promise to better myself.

This is my only and last slip until Christmas.

[NeverWDb4]

Day 10 - Friday

Today was a great day, not much in the terms of the sexual department. I played badminton and Table Tennis and had dinner with mates afterwards and walked home with them as well. Managed to complete some end game content on my game so I'm pretty pleased and happy about that.

[Mikey42]

I'm glad to see you got right back to AB after the slip up. That's exactly the way to do it when a slip up happens.

[NeverWDb4]

Day 11 - Saturday

Another chill day of relaxing before studying. Not much happened.

[NeverWDb4]

Day 12 - Sunday

Today was a day of rest before the work week starts again and I spent the day playing badminton and playing video games with the odd bit of work done. I had absolutely no sexual thoughts or desires and I think I would that to stay. Currently sat reading some work before I sleep and wake up early in the morning for an interesting day of uni.

[NeverWDb4]

Day 13 - Monday

Today was nothing special either, definitely have hit a flatline in terms of horniness, even the thought of porn or eroticism gives me the ick. Caught up with a long time friend which was nice and currently preparing to sleep.

[NeverWDb4]

Day 14 - Tuesday
It's officially been 2 weeks since I started this journey to self recovery and a lifestyle of No PMO. It's been difficult and I've had a couple slip ups but I've came back stronger and more determined to outlast the previous mistakes.

After 2 days of no real horniness and flatline, the horniness came back stronger and harder. I honestly cannot remember exactly how it happened or when but it was just the entire day filled with urges and temptation. I managed to withheld the emotions briefly before succumbing to it.

[Texanguy]

Good luck in sticking with the effort. Porogress can indeed be made.

[NeverWDb4]

Thanks Texanguy for the support. I understand the mood difference between AB and retaining semen compared to MB and losing that vital part of you. It really gets you down and depressed. All motivation goes away and you end up in a vicious cycle of giving up. Luckily, I get stronger each time I slip up and break the cycle immediately and do not return straight away. I have begun learning ways to control and use that emotion for the better, despite its temptations and power.

Day 15 - Wednesday
Unfortunately, I had a bout of acute food poisoning and had no strength to indulge in adult content. This was heightened by the fact that my work was severely incomplete and I had plans on traveling the next day. I spent the whole day fighting this stomach bug and working on my assignment. I didn't manage to do a daily workout but did put in 12,000 steps despite the lack of free time.