Blue Journal

[TrueBlue]

Hey again, WDF. I guess with the new site it's time to start a new journal to keep me focused on AB goals. Glad to see the site survive and that we've got a good amount of regulars back already. I wasn't the most active member on the old forum, I definitely got pretty lax about updating my journal with recent goings-on. I'd like to change that, so if you see me disappear for a while give me a good nudge!

Since my old journal looks to have been lost completely, I'll have to work on another write-up about my history with wet dreams and abstaining. That might be a longer post, so hopefully within the next few days I'll have a good background for you guys who might not have known me or need something dull to read.

Regarding the main event - abstaining - I've currently gone about three weeks. My most recent WD was mid-August, but with the site having being down I don't have many other details to share on that one. Keeping my fingers crossed for something more substantial to share soon!

[Anthemic]

Hey TrueBlue! Welcome back and wishing you luck for your next WD

[TrueBlue]

Thanks both of you, good to be back. Abstaining is going alright, but before updating on that I'll post a short write up on my history with wet dreams and the site. This was probably more indepth back on my first journal, but that can't be helped...

So I was a bit of an early bloomer, and ended up having my first wet dream around when I turned 12. At first just now and then, but they became pretty common over the next couple years. I can say that I remembered the dreams sometimes, but rarely would I wake up during one or remember the actual sensation. And despite my development, I never put two and two together about how to masturbate. I've often wondered why that is myself and just don't have a good answer - even with all the jokes and banter about it from guys at that age, I just never made the connection.

So for two years, wet dreams were my only form of release. There was definitely pride in my maturity, but I also couldn't help being embarrassed over my body doing something out of my control. One night, when I was 14 and change, I finally connected the dots and masturbated for the first time. Quickly becoming a habit, some part of me must have also looked at it as at least being in control of my release versus the sudden surprise of a wet dream.

The thing for me, though, was that even after starting to masturbate regularly I still had occasional wet dreams all the way through my twenties. They were less common as I aged, but they still happened. And I can only guess that experiencing waking orgasms was what allowed me to recognize and remember the sensations in my dreams. Those were when I really learned that an emission from a wet dream could be noticeably different from ejaculating from masturbation or sex.

I learned about abstaining being an actual thing in 2013-2014, from finding this site and some others on the topic. Lurking around here back then had me make some half-hearted attempts, but I got more serious with joining up and starting to contribute, and being a part of the community has definitely helped to move me away from compulsive masturbation to being able to enjoy the positive feelings of arousal with abstaining.

So that's what brings me here and keeps me around. If there are questions or anything, I'm always happy to have a discussion, just ask! As for where things stand currently, I have kept up with abstaining. No wet dream since the one I had in August, but morning wood has been constant and this morning I had a noticeable spot of precum in my underwear when I woke up, so keeping my fingers crossed that one happens soon!

[marbles428]

Good luck with ABing TrueBlue! A WD should be just around the corner!

[Scott]

Very well-written, TrueBlue. Love the level of detail. So much of what you wrote really resonates with me.

[TrueBlue]

Thanks Scott. It really is interesting the commonalities in experiences we guys have about this stuff. And no one talks about it much! Nice to be able to open up here on the forum.

Short update, not much to go on about. Been feeling under the weather the past couple days, kept things pretty flatline. Morning wood hasn't gone away, though, that's still most days I wake up. Gone about a month now by my best guess - those who remember my last journal know I got out of the habit of accurately keeping count of the days.

[2x4]

Nice to see you back, TrueBlue! Thanks for the quick rundown, I liked your story a lot and I definitely relate in some ways haha. Best of luck, a WD will definitely come before you know it!

[TrueBlue]

Thanks 2x4, definitely hoping so!

Not much new to update with over the weekend. Pretty much still on the status quo I reported earlier - some baseline level of arousal is back and morning wood pretty regular, but nothing out of the ordinary there. I did have a few non-sexual dreams over the weekend, nothing that I'd think would have been leading up to a WD though.

I'm considering making notes of my dreams here even if they're not WDs though - dream recall has been a weak point for me in general, and trying to hang on to those details might help when the time does come for a WD. Not sure yet, if I do go through with that I will likely keep things brief to avoid boring you guys with non-WD related stuff. Heh.

[TrueBlue]

Quick update, not much to report still. Kinda hanging in the same general level of arousal and mw but managing well enough for the time being. A couple dreams but nothing that I'd consider that would have been building up to a wet dream.

Onward.

[TrueBlue]

Back to back updates, but I had a bit of a strange dream last night. Sexual content, but it didn't end up being a WD. I'll just share the relevant part that I remember.

► Show Spoiler

I was in my house looking for a woman who was promising to give me oral. The house ended up being a mix of my old home and an apartment I lived in at college, which was getting me more and more confused in the dream. When I found the girl, she started stealing all my things, running away, and laughing at me. I was too nervous to chase her because I was naked and had an erection. That's around when I woke up.

I was hard after the dream, but not much leaking. Not sure if it would have really led up to a WD, I don't remember any buildup or a feeling of a "near miss"... Definitely felt unrested this morning though, and maybe that contributed to having a rough day - though not tempted to relieve some stress like I may have been in the past. I'll hopefully get better sleep tonight.