Squeeze's Log

[Squeeze2]

What's up, guys?! This is Squeeze (well, Squeeze2 now haha). I was pretty active back in the day on here and kinda fell off of the map in recent years. I was JO too much to make a WD possible so I wasn't around here much. I didn't fall into a death spiral of PMO or anything, but was jerkin' the gherkin pretty regularly.

This year, I decided to do NNN again for its own sake, and also see if I can finally get another WD! That ole WD is an elusive fox, and I haven't been able to catch one in probably at least 15 years. Unfortunately for me, at least once I was age 25 or so, I haven't been the kind of guy who can abstain for just a week or two and then get one. When I did manage to get one, I usually had to abstain for about 45 days! Ugh... I abstained that long about 4 years ago, well about 40 days, but nothing happened, and I was sick of not getting any Os, and ended up jerking again. Yet, I also feel I was getting close to one, so I kick myself for not holding out longer.

Back to now: Currently, I have been doing well this NNN. I fooled around with it a few times some, but for the most part have been pretty hands off, which helps make it a lot easier. I've also just been busy in general, and have been working out a lot more consistently than normal, which is great for so many reasons, but I also feel a general spike in testosterone, which also feels awesome. (Probably a combo of no nut and more exercise.)

My horniness level hasn't been that high though, but every now and then I will have a day when my man bits feel extra sensitive (you all know the feeling!), but then other days it's in hiberation mode. So I don't know if I'm in the "dead dick" phase right now or not. I was also getting strong morning woods consistently for the first week or so but now not as frequently.

Overall, it honestly hasn't been too difficult to abstain this time, which I'm thankful for, and hopefully it will be a more *ahem* fruitful journey this time around! So glad to see this forum is reactiviated and brimming with new life! Can't wait to catch up and meet the new guys and the old ones. Stay based, my friends...

[Squeeze2]

Day 27 of NNN (I started a day early):

I feel great today, as I have most days. Looking fwd to hitting the gym later. I think that is key. Plenty of guys who have done a full 90 day reboot or otherwise abstained for a long time with NoFap, etc. will tell you that if you are looking for more than just the personal challenge of not fapping for a time, but are really looking for self improvement and going to the next level in your life, and experiencing the "super powers" of not fapping, you can't just make the passive choice of not masturbating or not looking at porn, etc. Yes, cutting those things out of your life is a great start, and there are benefits there (and by not wanking all the time, your body will increase its testosterone levels, etc., and your dopamine levels can recover and all of that -- I realize that abstaining does actively do things), BUT you also need to actively DO something with all of that extra testosterone and drive and focus and energy, or you're just going to drive yourself (and probably others) nuts!

Regular exercise, whatever form that takes for you, is so key for redirecting that extra energy and hormones to actively work for your body to improve it in other ways, namely to gain muscle, improve your cardio, etc., which will also help your mind by increasing blood flow to your brain, and dealing with stress, the endorphins will improve your mood, your self confidence will grow as you start to feel and look better, you will be able to sleep better, etc., etc. It really is a snowball effect that seems too easy and too good to be true. But the fact remains that improving yourself really isn't rocket science, and it really isn't that tough to do. Too few people just do it today, and our lifestyles and workplaces often don't help with that.

All that being said, I did look at some porn late last night when I should have been sleeping. A friend sent me a clip, which led to me clicking on others at the site, and you know how that goes. Staying up so late, I didn't get up in time for church, and the rest of my day's timeline is now set back as well. One bad choice can create a negative snowball. That doesn't mean you then wallow in self pity, that also wastes time and you will accomplish less when you feel bad about yourself, but you do need to be a man and be honest with yourself and call a spade a spade and deal with the consequences of your actions. Just pick yourself up, hustle a little harder, and you will catch up. Remember that life flows so much more easily when you stay on task. You will actually create more free time for yourself when your "must dos" are done. Then you can rest in the satisfaction of accomplishment, however so small.

On the better side, I didn't touch myself that much last night, so thankfully NNN is still intact! But I will need to be more careful to avoid that in the future!

Stay strong, brothers.

[Texanguy]

Welcome back! And congratulations on your current AB.

I think exercise and working out can be healthy outlets to focus AB energy on. It seems that a lot of serious body builders do just that. It would hardly be surprising if it's the lean, muscular non-MBers who have the most WDs.

Good luck!

[Squeeze2]

Thanks, Texan!

Day 29 for me!! Still feeling good. Haven't had a noticeable morning wood in a while, which is odd. Not many boners. I feel fine otherwise, but some days I notice now like this mental feeling like my mind is upset it hasn't had an orgasm in a while. Hard to describe. Kind of irritable, but only at times. But not horny exactly. Must be the dead dick phase lol. I plan on keeping on abstaining, at least till I get a WD!

[Squeeze2]

Yo, guys! Back in the saddle, so to speak. I've got a good head start on NNN this year... the last time I jerked it was on Oct 4th, as best as I can recall. Maybe the 5th, but I think it was the 4th. So that puts me at 19 days so far. Feeling pretty good. I've been super busy (and kinda stressed out) recently with work and other stuff. Only upside to that is it's made abstaining easier, lol. Just haven't been in the mood for the most part. BUT I also haven't been addressing my stress with porn and edging and general laziness, so that's good. I committed with a friend to not do it until the 25th, but I told him today, I'm feeling good and really want to continue with this. So we're gonna take it week by week, but I mean, It's almost November anyway, so NNN would be a good challenge to tack on. And hopefully my head start here will make it a WDN instead haha.

[Squeeze2]

Still going strong! 24 days now. I was struggling with viewing some porn on reddit, so I deleted the app on my phone to reduce temptation. I think I am in a bit of a flatline right now. My head will feel super sensitive some days; like if I randomly set my hand on my crotch, and it presses against my head/tip, it feels like this pleasurable shot of electricity stems from that up my spine a ways! Feels cool. But it won't make me hard. Not very tempted to play with it. Am starting to incorporate wearing my foreskin restoration device some when I am home now, too. Day 2 of that. Haven't been consistent with that at all. I am generally better with both restoring and working out when I am abstaining from porn/mb. It's easy to see which is the better and healthier choice! Still hoping for a wet dream one of these days...

[Nearlyfifty]

I can relate to the shot of electricity if I accidentally touch my crotch or brush it against something. Not sure how old you are, but at 62, it's a pleasurable aspect of the ab journey for me. Congrats on 24 days

[Squeeze2]

Thanks, @nearlyfifty. I'm 50 myself.

Happy No Nut November!! Day 29 here! I've been super busy recently, which helps some with AB lol. And super tired for the most part. Had a chance to sleep in today, which I need, since it's going to be a long work night tonight. Feeling good overall; made it to the gym 3 days this week, and am going to go again today here in a bit! Am using the Brainbuddy app again, which I recommend. It's like $12.95 a month, but the content is great, and it gives you several activities to do each day to help you through your reboot and to stay away from PMO, if that is your goal. I have also been listening to various YouTube videos on nofap, no nut, semen retention, self confidence, better time management, etc. Mindful Waves Studios has some great content, including affirmations and guided meditations. I love the guy Alex's voice and his content is on point, and often exactly what I need to remind myself of and be encouraged by. I also wrote down a list of my reasons for doing NNN today on my phone in Notes, that I can review ea day if I need to. It's usually pretty necessary to remind ourselves of the "why" when we are committed to doing something tough.

Yesterday and a bit this morning in bed, my brain has started to crave some porn, which it really hasn't in a while. Like giving me ideas of sexual things I want to look up, or even trying to justify just a quick look at some pics or something. Fortunately, I've been able to say no to those thoughts, though they were tempting. But I am aware of them now, and that my brain in in a place where it's starting to crave that particular type of stimulation. I haven't been feeling physically horny really, but long ago I discovered that what I call "physical horniness" and "mental horniness" are not the same thing. But I am also encouraged that that mental desire for porn is a withdrawal symptom and that means that work is being done. I do hope to get a wet dream sooner than later, but I'm pretty sure I will have to go through some of these daytime mental struggles before that happens. And hopefully having my daytime thoughts in a consistently better place, will make my nighttime sexual ones more wholesome, once I get them! Onward...

[Squeeze2]

Day 34 here! I had a dream a few nights ago that wasn't sexual, but kind of felt like the kind of dream that could have turned into a wet one, based on past experience. Hard to describe; just had a certain type of feeling. But no luck. But I also usually got a 2-3 of those before I'd get an actual wet dream. I've been super busy and super exhausted recently, though, so I don't think that's helped. On the flip side, it's made abstaining easy.

I'm about to go on a trip/vacation for the next week, so hopefully I'll be able to rest and rejuvenate myself, plus sleeping in different areas can trigger it as well. So, we'll see how it goes! It's still a little early for me to get one, based on the past (usually around day 45 or so), but it's certainly not outside the realm of possibility. Wish me luck!

[Squeeze2]

Day 46 here of no MB! I looked at some porn (I'm also trying to not do that), and messed around a bit with my willy about 4 days ago, I had just returned from a week long trip, I was tired and vulnerable. I was also in the "spot" where I normally do it (my bed), so I think a sort of mental muscle memory kicked in. I'm considering moving my bed to another location in my room, and changing my sheets to my winter flannels now that it's getting cooler, to make it feel a bit different. Might help in establishing a new pattern? As in -- my bed is not for masturbating or looking at porn, but for sleeping, and (hopefully) for wet dreams!! I was tired, and woke up a few hours later to pee. I have a water bottle that I keep by my bed for when I don't want to get up and go to the bathroom, so I can just pee in that, and then dump it in the toilet when I get up in the morning, lol. #TMI and maybe that sounds gross, but honestly it's a great convenience lol. So I peed in that, and I mention it, because I noticed in the morning that my urine was super cloudy and there was some type of semen floating there at the bottom. That made me sad, because I thought man, I bet that would have come out in a wet dream instead, had I waited a couple more days!! *angry* But that disappointment was good in that it reminded me it's best to wait for it to happen naturally, and not risk losing it all or returning to bad habits by playing with it. But, I didn't have an O or a normal ejac, and only touched it for a bit, so I'm not counting that as a relapse. I've been good since!

Still no WDs so far in my journey here, but historically, I never got a WD until around 45 days anyway, so hopefully that messing around didn't set me back too much further, and hopefully I am getting close! I do feel like I'm in a "flatline" right now though during my waking hours, and I rarely feel horny recently, or get boners, and my penis is usually pretty small these days. *sad face* But every now and then I'll have a day where I feel horny and will get some boners. Morning woods have been pretty absent, too, at least once I'm awake. But this is all classic flatline behavior, and I know it's nothing to worry about, and that worrying is a REALLY good way to slip into a relapse.

Every couple days I will get more of a craving to look at some porn, more than I do to jerk it. Shows which is the harder habit to break. But I am learning to see those temptations/desires as an opportunity to become stronger and defeat that beast. If it's always easy, you will never make true gains and grow in your strength and self-discipline. Stay strong, brothers!! #NNN