WRITING A BOOK ABOUT ABSTINENCE

[rdgann]

I have been so inspired and learned so much from this forum. Our society today is so sex-centered. Many Christians like myself were not educated about wet dreams, spontaneous ejaculation, and the true manhood that comes from abstinence. The Church tends to always preach abstain from sex, abstain from porn, but it makes it sound like we are missing out on something. You will very rarely hear a preacher talk about abstinence or masturbation. Considering 96% of men are guilty of it at some point in their lives. Hence many Christian usually do have premarital sex, masturbate and have a high divorce rate, and don't understand the elements of self-control. Christian lives are being ruined because of as the Bible says due to a "lack of knowledge" The world screams satisfy your desires! Get it now! Have what you want! God can't meet your needs! I want to bring people back to the Truth of God's Word pertaining to abstinence!

I want to write a book called
How does a Single Male Christian Strive for Sexual Purity in a Sex-Saturated World.

By: Daniel Gann

Table of Contents:

My testimony……………………………

Section 1- The Lies
1. Sex Drive, Sexual Thoughts and Sexual Urges. Are they evil?
2. The Purity and Purpose of Marriage
3. The Destructiveness of Pre-marital Sex.
4. The Mental Corruption of Porn
5. The Habitual Habit of Masturbation

Section 2- The Truth
6. The Truth about Abstinence
7. The Purpose of Abstinence
8. The Rewards of Abstinence

Section 3- Response to the Truth
9. Rebooting the Hard Drive
10. Take off the masks!
11. Take out the trash.
12. Let’s Feed on God’s Word.
13. Let’s be Accountable
14. Understanding and Accepting God’s Grace
15. Living Life Victoriously through Christ


This is a rough draft of an outline of the things I want to cover. I have never written a book before, and I really don't even know how to get started, but something inside of me, tells me I need to do this. I appreciate any comments or feedback from anyone.

[8=Ddreamer]

I think it's really cool you're going with your gut instinct on writing this book. I wish you good luck with it because not many people will sack up to accomplish anything.

However, to be honest about what I think about the book, I get a negative vibe when you talk about sexual "purity." It makes me feel like you look down upon poeople who make other choices than you. I respect your ideals of staying abstinent, but feel you don't respect other's decisions not to be.

[rdgann]

This is not attacking people who don't agree with what I believe. I don't think less of anyone who practice MB or other sexual habits. I personally want to share with them the liberation I have found by learning to break free from habits. Many Christians are not educated about their own sex drive and how to live a sexual pure life in a sex saturated world. This book will teach them the truth about several topics. Many Christian single guys may never have experienced a wet dream and always masturbate. Many guys don't have the self-control to wait until marriage and I am explaining to them Biblical principles why you need to wait until marriage.

In the Church we are always taught say NO to sex, drugs, alchohol, porn, etc. The truth of the matter is, God has instilled in us a sex drive. It is a gift from him, but if a guy doesn't know how to manage his sex drive responsibly he is going to get in all kinds of trouble possibly. Realizing the outlet through wet dreams is very rewarding. Not to mention the extra pent up energy created by abstaining. I just want to share my thoughts thats all. I believe true manhood comes, when a man knows how to bring his sex drive under control. Just a like wild stallion that needs to be tamed, so does our sex drive. That doesn't mean we ignore our sex drive. We do embrace it, but also harness it from getting out of control.

[Ronald]

It sounds like a good idea, rdgann. I think you're on the right track with that idea. I hope you can get it written. Good luck!

[Squeeze!]

That sounds like an awesome idea. I agree, there is not much info. out there in the Christian community about HOW to manage your sex drive when you are single, just "Don't do IT." Your outline is a very good one, thorough, etc. I think it would be a very practical blessing to many. I think you have a "God idea"!

Here's to your writing! :thumbs:

PS: I am a grad student and am pretty good at writing papers, etc. Let me know if you ever want any copy editing or editing suggestions.

[rdgann]

Thanks Squeeze!

I have decided for this to be my hobby project.
I could see using this to help young men grow in faith and break free from sinful habits.

[Ryan]

9. Rebooting the Hard Drive

On the science side of understanding orgasm, you might find this article, and the sources they cite, helpful.

<a href='http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_in_the_brain' target='_blank'>http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_in_the_brain</a>

Best wishes on the book.

[gameshowfan]

That's very cool that you are doing this, good luck with it. Incidentally I would encourage every guy here to read Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (that is if you haven't already). It is an outstanding book and gives a lot of good insight on the issue that plagues many of us here.

[rdgann]

I have read that book. It is an awesome book! The book doesn't elaborate on wet dreams and nocturnal emissions to a significant degree. It does touch on the subject, but doesn't mention the testosterone buzz and the increased confidence that comes with abstinence. All in All though it was a book that help inspire me to stop MBing. I think in the book it mentions that the high from an orgasm is as strong as a shot of heroin. No wonder MBing can become addictive.

[MajicMurdochs]

I also think that is a great idea. From a religious perspective, it offers people a real understanding of sexuality and abstinence in a more scientific way (I basically ripped off what an earlier user said).

[gameshowfan]

If I may I'd like to make a suggestion on the name. I would call it: Sexual Purity: How single men can acheive it in a sex-saturated world.

[bonbon]

Send me a copy when you're done!

[qwerty]

I think it's really cool you're going with your gut instinct on writing this book. I wish you good luck with it because not many people will sack up to accomplish anything.

However, to be honest about what I think about the book, I get a negative vibe when you talk about sexual "purity." It makes me feel like you look down upon poeople who make other choices than you. I respect your ideals of staying abstinent, but feel you don't respect other's decisions not to be.

i see your point, but still i think it is clear that people that do decide to live a certain lifestyle look down upon those who choose to be abstinent. I think it's far worse that people are labelled as strange or unusual or old fashioned just because of this. as opposed to you sensing a vibe of religious values looking down at those who don't conform.

Even worse is the belief that this is simply a choice of crunchy peanut butter or smooth...obviously we respect the decisions of other people in the community, but when people cease proper functionality in society simply because they cant copulate with themselves, then i think all would agree this is an issue that needs to be addressed.

This addiction is only one problem facing this society with increasingly hedonistic values. But instead of confronting the issue, the insecurities of those who choose not to be abstinent, label all guys in a certain way, and those who don't conform are lying or have some psychological problem. As if people who are abstinent are denying themselves something in some vain belief in a higher power to make everything better.

The fact that the notion of abstinence isn't even considered in those long boring personal development classes, and any who would argue something of this sort should be included in a school curicullum is looked down upon as extremist and archaic and denying some TRUTH which is really non-existant.

Well i just wanted to say that, i really don't have any q's about wds anymore, which was the reason i joined the forum ages ago, but when i am bored i am always up for a good fight on various forums.

Anyway about your book rdgann... i personally would not focus so much on the issue of God and what he wants for us, and why we are the way we are. Mainly because i believe you can make many cogent arguments for your point of view without it. I mean, if the average joe (in this sex saturated society) picked up this book, the first impressions would be of a religious zealot trying to tell you that if u submit ur will to god u can do anything (clearly a reflex defence mechanism to feel better about living in a sex saturated society)

Such a first impression would make this potentially interesting read, seem like a run of the mill religious propaganda, well thats what he would say to himself, so that he can avoid confronting the possibility that he may have been wrong all this time.

But then again, you may just wish to have this book appeal to a more specific audience...being christians who actively practice their religion...as opposed to many religious types (of different religions) who live a base and hedonistic lifestyle and when all that is said and done, they hope to find some light at the end of the tunnel so they don't confront the possibility that all that they have lived for is for nothing.

just focus on the facts, and let the reader think :
"This lifestyle makes so much sense....I guess there must be some divine influence in this matter"
as opposed to telling them "God has set out this lifestyle which has all these benefits"....do you see the subtle difference

apart from that you have all the bases covered ...so i won't go into more.
btw i am not christian, so sorry if my assumptions were a tad off.

[rdgann]

Well I disagree with some of your comments, but also some of your comments did make a valid point. I am a Christian and we do disagree on that point. What is your faith, or do you not believe in God or a god? Just curious.

[qwerty]

Well I disagree with some of your comments, but also some of your comments did make a valid point. I am a Christian and we do disagree on that point. What is your faith, or do you not believe in God or a god? Just curious.

I am muslim, and I try to practice it as much as I can, there are some issues I would disagree with the mainstream but those are minor differences that don't really matter. I guess are beliefs when it comes to the issue of abstinence is the same, No Nothing be4 marriage and all that. But i wouldn't go as far as to say wd's are God's way of providing us with an outlet or something like that. I guess its because i don't see anything holy about it...it just seems like an icky curse that causes sleep disturbances once or twice a week, not withstanding how good it may or may not feel.

Before you started this topic, i wouldnt think anyone needed a book on remaining abstinent, i never thought of it as much of a challenge, but then, i guess if you've thought a certain way all your life, its hard to change it.

The thing that probably makes it most hard for the majority is the mentality of modern societal convention that looks down upon people who don't submit themselves to their primitive desires. By primitive i mean, simple and basic passions, and all the Jedi Code goes against, seriously it is odd how much relation the dark side has to this issue. lol

I am naturally a dissentient, so I never paid much attention to what my peers considered normal and alright.
It started out possibly as a way of getting attention, or not wanting to be thought of the average joe who is a disgusting lecher in todays standards.
But as i grew older, odd i am only 18 now, so not that old, i realised my point was very valid, and that it is obvious that this 'sex saturated society' as u put it, just can not provide me with a model for a happy life, and these base values forced upon us by pop culture will only lead to misery and alas addiction. And that is why i made my initial comment to 8=Ddreamer, because people have always tried to use his sort of style of argument, or even worse, to make me consider that it is a simple choice between lifestyles, but infact it is much worse than that.

His point of view is like trying to take a certain drug in such controlled amounts so there are no negative effects and only positives.
I am certain some people can take drugs in a controlled way and live a better life, but the risk far outweighs the benefits, and similarly that is why drugs are illegal in most countries. This is exactly the same, people are trying to support and rationalise their 'sex saturated' lifestyles, saying that in controlled amounts, they can live a good life. But in fact the negatives are plainly visible in modern society...ie divorce rates and the like.

Now, that doesn't mean i hate people who don't agree with me, if thats what your going to say, i mean if i did, i'd have a pretty long enemies list now wouldn't I.