Wet Dream Forum

hey future,

Stay strong, keep protecting your mind, when you find yourself feeling down, or wanting to do edging, or porn, tell yourself hang on a sec!, I am trying to be better, to quit this bad habit. etc. and find a way out by going somewhere, maybe for a jog, or walk, get your minds off. remember that, even if you have an achilles heel, you are still a warrior at heart. You can fight this like a proud and noble warrior.

It can be tough to see a loved one becoming a shadow of his former self. I can see that when I see my grandpa, He used to be so robust, working the fields, always excited to show me what he created in the wood shop of his. Now he is using a walker, and spend most of his days sitting on a recliner and relaxing. But it is good to talk with him when I can.

Anyway, just a encouragement eh?

D

Hey,i know things are tough right now,but you have to be strong for you and your family.

When you see it,things will be going to right track.And pay attention to Dreamtraveller,he is totally right about it.

Be careful with edging,i don't know how is it for you,but the the last time i was AB,i thought that edging was a nice idea..but i was wrong,because i couldn't control it easily and then i saw i was blowing everything,since i was getting hornier in the first days of AB.
And i know you did because you were feeling down,but try to keep you mind busy like Dreamtraveller said:

Soon you will have an amazing WD,so just focus and you will have it!

Btw,i've seen the trailer...looks so awesome!

_________________
[ AB starting from: October 6th of 2014 ]

Good morning people of WDF

Well... yesterday was again a hard day, i continue on my AB, but, i did edge a bit...
I know... myself included, i'm a defensor that edging is masturbation without the happy ending... Should i reset my AB counted days? Maybe it would give me more focus knowing that each time i do edge i will rest my AB journey, and today, day 8, marks a small victory right? Cause it's been more than a week, and in almost an year, it's the longest i've been without mb, and in almost 2 years is the most time period. Well, i'll give myself the benefit of doubt and today i will count 8 days, but, if today, or any day after, if i do edge, i will rest my AB day count. If i do that, some reverse physiology (lets call it), it must help me focus and forget about the very existence of edging or porn.

My friends: dreamtraveller and apolinario, thank you so much for your support. You've been amazing following my progress and i'm so happy we can share this. Also, thanks for the support of all the ones that read my log and give me encouraging.


Thanks men. I know, but i also know that Achilles lost his way when he lost Patrocles, his cousin and lover. So, what happens to me if i loose something or someone? How will i react? Cause loosing is the most common thing in life... There are days that i simply wanna to run away, to forget everything, to not be me.... But who would i be? Now i'm not making sense right? Well... i just care too much about people, either people that don't care for me... or even people that i barely know. But i care... sometimes because i see an adorable person waiting for me to know, or because i see pain or suffering and just wanna make things right... Many times have i looked to me as a fixer... trying to fix the world or the people within... and after all, who the hell am i to do that?

Anyways, dreamtraveler, apolinario, thank you so much for your support, you're great people. Nice to have you around and tanks for the advices I'll try to put them into practice. Also, specially to you, i extend my love and gratefulness.

Regarding my balls... well, they continue heavy. Yesterday after all, i couldn't sleep on my boxers! Do you believe it? I was completely used to sleep on boxers and now, after no more than a week sleeping naked, it felt unnatural to me, and i just had to remove the boxers.
I also used a bit of time before falling asleep to check my testes. The testes are well and they aren't in pain. My epididymus are quite enlarged, and very very sensitive to touch. The left one can hurt a bit, but i know that was highly probable to be the one more "affected" since it was the one that suffered a surgery 2 years ago...
Well, lets hope this goes better, and i can feel more comfortable at the balls level, without having to ejaculate.

My stats as of mid-day of today:

AB days: 8 days
Last WD: Maybe, and just a rough calculation based on memories, maybe, 8 years ago, when i was 14 turning 15 yo, maybe...
Last MB: 26-01-2015
Last Edging: 02-02-2015
Last PORN: 02-02-2015
Previous Record on AB days: 18 days

And apolinario, did you saw the raptors in the trailer? Didn't they seemed controlled by the guy? I can't believe they will put raptors mind-controlled... That will be like super super awesome. Actually i can imagine myself with a raptor as my pet

Peace
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

Well,just keep your focus and you won't break your AB progress!

I didn't noticed that in the trailer,but i will check it out..

I know it might be difficult,but sometimes,we have to care less and less about people,not entirely,but just enough to protect ourselves from them.

Good thing that you don't have the pain anymore.And i think that your balls are going to feel heavier more and more each day..that's a good thing.

Anyway,we are here to support you,so you can count on us to help you!

_________________
[ AB starting from: October 6th of 2014 ]

Hello, how is anyone reading my post right now?

Today is my day and i'm happy to say that yesterday i didn't edge, and can only hoe that continues
But my balls aren't that great again... My nuts are heavier by each day and the discomfort has increased substantially. Yesterday after the hot bath i was super okey, but after a couple of hours i was already feeling heavy and not that good. On the chat room, versa14fun, suggest me to wear some tighter underwear which made me remember i do have a couple pairs of jockstraps that i used when i was operated to the testicles. I slept on them and i'm wearing them today. It does help having the testicles more close to your body, but its not enough. It's weird... my right testicle, the smaller one feels much heavier than the left... Have you noticed that?
Despite wearing thither underwear, during the night i wasn't woke by any bulge or even in the morning...
Something that yesterday also helped me relax my scrotum and testes was also something that versa14fun suggested, to give a nice rub on my testes, and i did massage them for a good while. I'll do that again tonight before bed, and in the shower i'll use plenty on tepid water on them to see if these blue balls go away.

Well, and it's this how its been. And you guys?

AB days: 9 days
Last WD: Maybe, and just a rough calculation based on memories, maybe, 8 years ago, when i was 14 turning 15 yo, maybe...
Last MB: 26-01-2015
Last Edging: 02-02-2015
Last PORN: 02-02-2015
Previous Record on AB days: 18 days

About the trailer, check this one, i'm not sure if you watch the super ball one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mvWuky1g0g, and watch carefully between 0:15-0:20... when Chris Patt is playing with the Raptors.

I wish you all the best people

hugs
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

Hi Future!

Blue balls sounds like it sucks! I'm sorry about that. I've never actually had them, so I can't even imagine the frustration you are enduring. Good for you for ABing as long as you have, with blue balls. And you haven't edged! Congratulations on that. What you said about one testicle feeling heavier than the other is interesting. For me, my left testicle is lower than my right and I know this is common in many men. Could this have something to do with it? I would give you some techniques to help ease the pain, but again I've never had blue balls, and I don't really know. You seem like you've got some things that are working for you though. Congratulations on ABing as long as you have and keep being awesome. I'm on day 3. We'll see what happens. Good luck and good night.

LEWIS

Hey there!

Keep massaging your testicules,anywhere you massage will help stop any pain in that area.And that works for any part of your body.And using some tight underwear might help you feel your balls a little less heavier.

My left testicule hang lower than my right testicule and also,it's smaller than my right testicule.It's interesting that you are the opposite.

Now i see that he was kind of controlling the raptors.It makes the movie even better!!

_________________
[ AB starting from: October 6th of 2014 ]

Hello people, how are you?

Today is a really nice day. You wonder why? No, there wasn't a WD, not yet, and certainly, i do know it will take a while. But good things have been happening, so it's good to be alive, it's really good to be alive.

You remember that infernal exam i told you about, the one that if i didn't get positive grade i couldn't apply for a scholarship in a couple of months? Well, i passed. Yah, it wasn't with a big grade, but it was enough for the bar. So, i'm just super super happy, cause now i can apply. Not sure if i'll win, but at least i'm allowed to try right?

Also, i'm feeling better from my blues balls. NOT cured, but better. This will take time, also, because now i believe this is not only blue balls, bit don't worry, it's nothing serious and i will explain right away.
So, i'm better from my balls. i've not been edging for the last 2 days which is great Also, i've used lots of hot water during shower. I place the shower directly against the scrotum and the warm water does make it tender. Then, i massage the testes, making circular moves, stretching the scrotum and feeling the testes. Another awesome thing is massaging the balls. Besides shower time, i've done that prior to fall asleep, in bed. I warm my hands a bit and massage the testes and it feels great, it has helped a lot getting the pain down. Other thing is using tighter underwear. I've been using jockstraps and it has helping on having the balls on place.
So isn't this only blue balls? Well, my epididymus are swollen with semen and so are my testes. But don't you forget i had surgery there, so it's normal to have some measure of pain sometimes - specially when there are season changes, and here, there's been some weather craziness. So, this increase of pain mixtured with AB, makes the most terrible blue balls case i'd ever suffered.

In a few lines, How to overcome blue balls?
1. Use lots of hot water
2. Massage your testes
3. Use tighter underwear
4. Don't Don't Edge!



Actually my left testicle is a bit bigger than the right one, and once, it was the one hanging. But, since my surgery to the left one, that i've already talked about here, the scrotum skin had to be rearranged and the scrotum is tighter in that side which doesn't allow the testicle to hang as much as the right. So, although is more little than the left, is the right now that seems bigger. So, yah, thats me.

Once again i just need to thank your follow up people, you're always giving me strength. Thanks!

My stats as of today:
AB days: 10 days
Last WD: Maybe, and just a rough calculation based on memories, maybe, 8 years ago, when i was 14 turning 15 yo, maybe...
Last MB: 26-01-2015
Last Edging: 02-02-2015
Last PORN: 02-02-2015
Previous Record on AB days: 18 days

Cheers WDF people

futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

It's great that you've passed!!Congratulations!!Now you have a shot to try to get the scholarship!

And good thing that you managed to make your balls feel more confortable and to minimize the pain there and that you are not edging lately!

Keep it going like that!=D

_________________
[ AB starting from: October 6th of 2014 ]

11th Day of AB

It's been almost an years that i've been almost 2 weeks without mb, and also, with much less edging, much with much more blue balls
I'm feeling better from my balls, but i'm not cured. But the pain and discomfort is manageable. I continue to do the same. Warm water in shower time, massaging and tighter underwear - i even went to buy new underwear for me, and i did bought some nice sexy briefs

My stats as of today:
AB days: 11 days
Last WD: Maybe, and just a rough calculation based on memories, maybe, 8 years ago, when i was 14 turning 15 yo, maybe...
Last MB: 26-01-2015
Last Edging: 02-02-2015
Last PORN: 02-02-2015
Previous Record on AB days: 18 days

Also, this night i woke up with a sexual dream. Yah, a sexual dream, i did miss them. It's something that doesn't happen as much when you're mbing, don't you agree. The dream is foggy and i can only remember a little bit. Apparently i was mbing and i could feel my hard cock in the middle of my hands while i did trust. Then i just saw cum floating everywhere. Then i know i did woke up, open my eyes, but was dark still and i was so tired a didn't woke up and went back to sleep. Maybe it's a good sign, that the brain chemistry is beginning to rewire to enter on AB mode, and maybe, with some luck, in WD mode, that would be nice.

Thanks for all the support, you give me strength everyday not to mb, and i must thank specially to apolinario and dreamtraveler that have followed my protocol attentively, and i can only hope i can be as much good on AB as you guys.

Cheers
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

I am glad to see that you passed the test. I am also glad to see that you are still going 11 days strong. Keep it up. As for blue balls, I can only say that in time, the blue balls will dissipate and will bother you less and less as you continue your ab journey.

I've found that when I first decided to try and abstain, I felt the same as you did, feeling blue balls, my mind going crazy with lust and wanting to shake one out of my balls, it took me a long time to finally, what you call, get into balance, kind of with what I am doing. I still struggle with my bad habits, thus is why I am trying to do this abstain journey. I've read somewhere that it takes on average 30 to 60 days to break a bad habit. Easier said than done, but with your support and support from other WDF folks, I can do it. I also can't forget the main man who can help me the best. God. He is the man who made everything, including my life, Without him, I can't do this, but with Him, I believe I can do it.

Stay strong, and trust in God to help you out.

D

Day 13

Why does my family continues to ruin my good days? Why my weakens get always ruined cause go my family members? Couldn't i have a normal family, composed of sane people?
What did happen now you asked? Actually is the boring normal stuff... Ingratitude and people that are simply put, a pain in the ass that never admit they are wrong...
So this happened... My mother has one sister (my aunt) living nearby. Yesterday was actually a good day. In the morning i had been with friends and even during the mid-afternoon i did sped some good-quality time with my mom. At midday, my aunt calls to ask for something and we do notice she's not well, and she begins to cry. We tell her we'd visit her by evening, which we did.
We arrived her home and after just a short while she begins to cry and saying nobody cares about her and so on. That is very hard to be unemployed - yah, we knew her problem is money, don't get me wrong, lots of people have money issues, we're like in a crisis and so, and i'm not rich, but she just doesn't know how to spare money, if she has 1 euro she will rate that one euro and not spare a thing. So we actually had heard the conversation before, over and over again - always she gets with low money, existential problems arise. And we did hear her and gave the best advices we could give, but for her, we're the bad guys that don't understand her. Also, she's always misunderstand what other say. We do have some common friends and she was saying those friends said things they would never say - cause she just don't understand what others say. And we tried, and tried and tried to show her that the world wasn't as bad as she was saying and that things could get people, and that people, besides us two, care about her. But she just told she doesn't see that and doesn't feel loved back. Then she just remember we don't know what depression is and we don't know what suffering is - yah we don't know nothing about that... i just lost my dad 5 years ago and suffered heavy depression and anxiety since then, and my mom lost the man she loved... so we son't know nothing about anything right...
Things ended with her crying more and more and since she bang to play like a child, and she's 50 yo... we left...
Today, at lunch time we went to her home to see if her children had lunch... well, they aren't children she has a guy (my cousin) is 24 yo and my other cousin (female) is 17 yo, but they barely know how to stir an egg.. Do you believe she was till laying in bed at 12 pm?
We helped with the cooking and after a while she rose up... Do you think she thanked us? Off course not ...
I don't know why me and my mom still worry... this has happened so may times, why do we care?


Well... about AB... Yesterday i was so sad, so sad and so pissed off with all the above... i didn't know what to post or say. Also, at night, i did crave a bit and ended up watching bit of porn...
But things are getting better. Blue balls are better but i continue to massage them and i'm currently wearing tighter underwear. In the morning, boners are back, and, and, most of all, i'm getting some premium in my glands by the morning
Well, i can only hope i continue on AB and the desire to mb, goes more and more away.

As always, thank you so much for all your support people, that helps a lot.

My stats as of today:
AB days: 13 days
Last WD: Maybe, and just a rough calculation based on memories, maybe, 8 years ago, when i was 14 turning 15 yo, maybe...
Last MB: 26-01-2015
Last Edging: 07-02-2015
Last PORN: 07-02-2015

Regards
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

Day 14

Well, this is just a quick uptake. Nothing major has happened. My blue balls are finally getting better, but i don't give up on my massages, cause i really don't want the pain to come back. So in the bath and then before sleep in bed, i tenderly massage my balls and sac. I continue to wear tighter underwear and all this made me renew my underwear-drobe: yah, just bought some nice sexy briefs.But the best policy is just, NO EDGING!

I've began to notice more random bonners during the day and also, an increase ins sexual thoughts and in an immediate reaction of my sexual member to those ideas... It's just faster getting up and ready for action.

Well, and its all there is. I'm almost completing 2 weeks and i'm very happy with it, but i don't wanna get cocky.

My stats as of today:
AB days: 14 days
Last WD: Maybe, and just a rough calculation based on memories, maybe, 8 years ago, when i was 14 turning 15 yo, maybe...
Last MB: 26-01-2015
Last Edging: 07-02-2015
Last PORN: 07-02-2015

Hugs
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

Keep your focus!!

You already have a goal,so don't loose the willing and strenght to reach it!

_________________
[ AB starting from: October 6th of 2014 ]

Day 15

Well, it's a complete 2 week period of AB. I'm happy i've gone so far until now. True i haven't beat my previous 18 days, and the day after today i don't know, i can even mb in the next hour. What i mean is, i'm happy that i did managed this time, and the truth, i do feel better on ab. Also true that mb does cross my mind plenty of times, the desires for porn and mb, are here and it's a constant struggle and i also know i'll fail more than the times i'll succeed. But everyday is a victory and i'm happy i'm back in the path.
Nothing major happened, it was a calm day at work and during night also nothing happened. This morning i didn't woke up with a morning wood... i like when they do happen

About my journey, my goal is really to stop my addiction on porn and mb. It has waste very much of me. DO i seek WD? off course i do. I hope i can get one in the future, don't know when, but i do hope my body leaned how to work on its own, without the need of my stimulation. I don't know how much time it will take or how many times will i fail, i'll just try to do my best.

Wish you all good people,

My stats as of today:
AB days: 15 days
Last WD: Maybe, and just a rough calculation based on memories, maybe, 8 years ago, when i was 14 turning 15 yo, maybe...
Last MB: 26-01-2015
Last Edging: 07-02-2015
Last PORN: 07-02-2015

Hugs
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

Day 16...

My day is beginning, well, actually it's almost lunch time, and although i'm counting 16 days of AB, well, yesterday i had this very very very close call. I edge too much and i was seeing i wound't contain myself. Felt good at the beginning but when i stopped, well, my balls were so sore....I couldn't touched them, it was like an instant. I stopped edging and my balls began to hurt like hells. It was punishment, and i did deserved it. I shouldn't have edge. I wasn't looking to porn, i was just playing around with my soft to hard penis, and back hard to soft penis and so on... playing with the foreskin and so... but it had a bad result. My balls are better now, and i'm using the jockstrap again, and also, after i got to bed, i did massage the balls and scrotum for a good while. Funny thing, all this episode made me aware of something: is not actually your balls that hurt during suck episode, its your epididymus. The epididymus get swollen with semen - and it makes sense since it's where maturation of sperm does occur. I found this, cause while massaging - and just be warned i was soft, completely soft - i could touch my soft scrotum, felt my balls and they weren't precisely hurting. In the other hand, moving the balls and the bases linked to them - the epididymus and different canals, well, that did hurt, and you could noticed they had increased size. In the morning i had no time to check if they were less swollen, but the pain is practically gone, although i feel the heaviness on them. And this is another thing about AB. I'm used to check my testicles in a regular basis - can't forget that testicle cancer is quite common and predominant between 15-35 yeas of age - so a regular check is very needed for a healthy male to develop. My epididymus are much smaller on periods of mb and then, now i felt, they're so much bigger, like, at least, double size, no kidding? Have you notice that too guys? Well, i assume and relate this to the accumulation of sperm. Something i'll begin to check is the epididymus volume, that will be interesting to analysing during AB.

Well, and this is my story as of the moment. As i did edge, well, in the morning i was soft and had no sexual dreams - i believe manual/deliberate stimulation really takes its toe on sexual dreams - its like, your mind shuts that down cause knows you don't need it to release. So, the AB time you take till you have a WD or even an SE - which can be related - is the time your mind finds it has to make you hard during night and make you ejaculate! Just a thought, that i know many of us share.

Happy wet dreams for you people.

My stats as of today:
AB days: 16 days
Last WD: Maybe, and just a rough calculation based on memories, maybe, 8 years ago, when i was 14 turning 15 yo, maybe...
Last MB: 26-01-2015
Last Edging: 10-02-2015
Last PORN: 07-02-2015

With love and lots of hugs
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

Day 17


It's another day, but this was one i shouldn't had raised from bed. Since yesterday, my work in the laboratorium just has been bad to worse, things just don't work. In one way i'm a bit off - my mom has been sick, she has asthma and she's not been so well - but also, my bugs are literally with a life of their own and that annoys me a lot... Sometimes it works and sometimes it just doesn't...
Then, although there's some sine people around, there's others that just keep annoying you. And jealousy... why people are jealous of my work or of the people i work with? What the hell...

Then, there's my mom. She's my family, i've lost my dad and always she gets sick, i can only see her gone too. I know, it's not necessarily that will happen, and lets hope with both heavens and earth nothing as such happens - but imagine loosing your dad, how do you see then each sickness your only parent, this case my mom, has? For me it kills me seeing her like that. I've been helping the most i can, helping her more with things at home... can only hope it's enough to ease her disease. IF you don't know, asthma is a chronic disease, an auto-imune one, where your body attacks your lungs and air ways, so you get difficulty on breathing, which in turn let you get tired more easily and have less patient and you just aren't as strong as breathing normally - in fact is just as much as when you finish a deep race and you can barely breathe. Fortunately, in a long time my mom doesn't go to the hospital in a asthma crisis, but still, she get bad at home, despite all the medicines, and seeing her weak and fragile and so tired, well, just pains me... And as yesterday and today, i went to work only cause she insisted so much i had no other way...

As for AB, well, all is the same. There's actually no news. I'm feeling way better from my balls and probably if i don't edge, blue balls won't bug me too much. Despite that, i'll continue to use thither underwear - its actually much more comfortable to have things better in place - and i continue my testicles massages: you should try, its really calm and relaxing, and interesting point, i don't get hard, it's just tension reliever...

Well, and this is it...

My stats as of today:
AB days: 17 days
Last WD: Maybe, and just a rough calculation based on memories, maybe, 8 years ago, when i was 14 turning 15 yo, maybe...
Last MB: 26-01-2015
Last Edging: 10-02-2015
Last PORN: 07-02-2015

hugs
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

I am sorry about your mom, It can be difficult to watch someone you love be sick. Just try your best to help her, comfort her. Also Dont forget to give yourself some break sometimes, because a short break can make you feel much better.

I am glad you are still hanging on there with your ab.

D

BACK TO DAY 1

Well, this happen and yesterday i did masturbate... No, i didn't watch porn and it was actually so fast... I got naked to shower and massive boner emerged... i touched myself a few times and a fountain of cum came out... The orgasm wasn't that great, but the load was immense. But i did feel ashamed after, and most of all, for blowing my AB, i didn't want that... Well, i'm trying to look to the bright side, my balls are feeling much less heavy and even the scrotum is much more loose
So yah, i'm back to day 1, and i'm in for another AB round, can only hope i'll do better this time.

My mom is fortunately getting better, and lets hope, and a few more days, she'll be recovered.

Btw, funny thing... i did masturbate yesterday, but, but, i still woke up today with this massive boner that didn't want to go down... That's not that usual in me after mb. Lets hope that's a good sign.

Also, i had this very vivid and intense dream. It wasn't a sexual dream. Instead i dreamed that a colleague of mine, that works next too me in the same lab, that he had killed himself... It was very very weird, but it was filled with details, and i can remember them... It's really sinister, it actually seemed like scenes from a movie. There were lots of people i knew and even manage to fill the gaps of people i don't know... Well, it was super weird. Can only hope it was really a dream, he is actually a nice lad. I imagine i did imagine this, cause, yesterday, at the lab, he was really with a bad face - he was getting the flu - so my mind must thought "what the hell, lets kill him!"

And this is it...

My stats as of today:
AB days: 1 days
Last WD: Maybe, and just a rough calculation based on memories, maybe, 8 years ago, when i was 14 turning 15 yo, maybe...
Last MB: 13-01-2015
Last Edging: 10-02-2015
Last PORN: 07-02-2015

HUGS
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

Day 2 on this 2nd Round of AB

Hey guys,
So today marks the second day of AB in this new round of AB. Can only hope that this time i can go for much more time, and who knows, get a WD in the middle.
There's actually not much to tell. It's only been 2 days, but interestingly, my balls are already feeling much tighter to the body, just as before. Also, this night this odd thing happened. For not once, not twice, but tree times a massive boner woke me up, and then, in the morning, another big wood was waiting me. Well, that is odd, cause when i normally mb, morning wood is fairly common, but ever i don't get wake up for boner. And more... me, the guy that almost doesn't pre-cum... well, this morning i had pre-cum in the tip of my glands getting out the uretra and also i had some around my foreskin (in the inside face) - which for me is like super not normal. But i assure you, i do welcome this change, and can only hope this happens more often.

Things in general are getting better i think. Mom is getting much better which for me is super awesome and super needed, cause i just get broken by seeing her like that. I'm still helping her more than usual, and that makes me reflect that maybe i need to support her, but more from now on. She does so much for me, it's only fair i help her more. Its only fair, and thats something i struggle with, cause i always think what i do its not enough, and maybe it's not... I just need to do better.

So here my stats:

AB days: 2 days
Last WD: Maybe, and just a rough calculation based on memories, maybe, 8 years ago, when i was 14 turning 15 yo, maybe...
Last MB: 13-02-2015
Last Edging: 10-02-2015
Last PORN: 07-02-2015

Also, i was thinking... Some of you already must be aware i'm a huge moviegoer, so i thought on sharing some trailers of movies i'm waiting to see or that i just watched the trailer and found interesting.

Kingman: Well, i'm waiting for next week when this film will premiere in Portugal, i'm really hoping to manage time to see it in the cinema. Its not that epic movie, i'm pretty damn aware, but has some actors i do enjoy seeing, and does appear to be lots of fun and some good load of action.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl8F-8tR8to

Then, there's 007: Spectre... yah, there's no trailer, but this is a must see in cinema this year. Actually there are a few first images of the movie with just a glimpse of Daniel Craig.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYKB75aIHWE

Also, there's the new pitman movie... The actor is kinda new i think, but there's Zachary Quinto... what do you think?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv83tbU ... 36&list=WL

And this is it for action movies i'm curious about.
What do you think?

Well, hope you like it.
Hugs
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

And BACK to DAY 1... This wasn't even a ROUND

Well, and i'm back to day 1... yah, this want even a round. Yesterday evening i was so horny that i blew it... took more time then last time, but still i did cum buckets. The orgasm was much more pleasant than the previous i did report...
But why did i cum again? Horniness and porn were involved, and i'll not say more... i just did cave in the desire of the flesh and didn't do much effort to stop thinking on mb, so any regret and blame are certainly on me.

I so hope i can now abstain for longer...

There are no bigger news... I woke up again in the morning with a nice massive boner and some pre-cum. Lets see how this new round of AB goes...

AB days: 1 days
Last WD: Maybe, and just a rough calculation based on memories, maybe, 8 years ago, when i was 14 turning 15 yo, maybe...
Last MB: 15-02-2015
Last Edging: 10-02-2015
Last PORN: 15-02-2015

Hugs
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

Day 1 ... Yes, still on day 1!
And i just feel OK with it, cause EVERYONE does fall sometimes - some more often that others!

Yesterday it did happen again, so starting today is the true AB. But i knew this could happen. When someone wants to let mb go away, its never easy. You just get addicted to it, and honestly, the most you do it, the more you want to repeat it, cause after all, who doesn't enjoy an orgasm? I do! And actually, both last orgasms were pretty good, so my serotonin and dopamine levels are quite balanced... i guess...
Am i making any sense? Maybe not, but the point is - i did fell off, but i'll continue my quest to leave mb, even if i'm quite aware it does feel good, cause i know it only feels good temporarily and you'll need once again to mb to feel good again and so, it's cycle that makes no good to us. So, the point is, DAY 1 here Lets go for another ride! I want to AB

But this post is far from ending right now, actually i have a few words regarding the last post published in my log.

Dear Texanguy, i hope you're feeling good, and i also hope, you can read this as soon as possible, cause, although its more to make you understand a few things, i believe its more beneficial to express myself publicly than only by PM you.

First, i want to thank your follow up and your interest in my well being and off course, your special interest in my AB/WD journey. I understand your point and appreciate both the "advices" and the concern.
But, i didn't appreciate the full extend of your post. Actually, to say the most absolute truth, after reading your post i felt as absolute shit, yes, i felt like shit, and i don't find that cool, cause no one has the right to make others feel shit, and this feeling would continue if it wasn't for a few good friends here at the forum that made me see it wasn't right for YOU to make me feel like shit.
You may be very well right and i'd say you do defend AB/WD very well, and i don't have a formal critic for you, but did you read what did you write?
First it seemed like a sermon. Second, where was really the advise? Was there any? Cause i didn't see any advise of how could i avoid mb or how would i deal with horniness - you only mentioned things that would happen in an ideal world and not on our real, My real world, in MY life.

I don't know whats your AB/WD story, For what i can understand, you don't mb, maybe you never did, and whatever the case, i do congratulate you on that. Ans yes, i do agree that WD/AB is much better then MB, cause the last, as i countless times have said, causes addiction - that isn't good. So, in some measure i do agree with you, but lets be reasonable, EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT - SO EVERY JOURNEY IS ALSO DIFFERENT. Maybe in you case, it was easy and its easy to AB and completely live free of mb, for others, like me and i bet so many others, that's not the case, it's hard, its a temptation, its something that warn us out and after the good feelings, we feel tired, guilty, bad... Do you really thing its a sermon we do need? We certainly do not need a sermon. Talking for myself, i already criticise myself quite a lot and enforce myself on what was wrong - i'm actually my worst enemy, my worst advocate seeing what wrong did i, and continuously trying to see how could i do better. So do you really think i need a sermon? I don't. I need support and help - thats why i'm here - and you gave none of those. You know what you did? You judged me, you made yourself more righteous that me. You made me feel shit.
Are you more righteous that me? Are you really better then me? Do you have anything to prove? Are you that superior because you are an Aber? Can't you see you're just as us? You're human, you fail - so why the so superior look on your words?
Really are you better than me?
Did you lost your father when you're 17 yo?
Do you see your mother sick and fear for her health and life?
Do you have a dysfunctional family and do you have to support every single member and always be strong for them?
Did you almost die at 8 yo?
Are you really aware of your faults? Of your own misery?
Cause to all the above i am, i was, i do! So don't come here, in MY JOURNEY speak about right and wrong, perfect and imperfect! I have a nice dose of everything to be very grown up, so, don't you ever dare once more to call me a child, cause that, if you're aware of me, im not.

You see, you seem to believe only you are right... Remember that the world is free, we don't have to follow this way or the other. There's no right way to AB, there's each person way. For some people it works well a way, to others it works best the other. Every person is different and will deal on the AB subject differently, For some will be easier and for others will be bloody difficult. Dont you understand, or see that? You are you, everyone else is everyone else, and there are no role models in AB, and you simply can't criticise just because. Since you're so experienced, give advises yes, give comfort, be helpful - don't be destructive, don't be judgemental, that shall do no good, not to you not to others.

You know why did i felt like shit? Cause i knew i had failed. No, i dint want a pat in the shoulders, but if you didn't had nothing nice to say, better not saying nothing at all, better to be quiet. For me, AB is not easy and its truly a battle i hope i can win. And you can think whatever you want, but isn't this forum supposed for the members to express what did they do or what did they feel? If i fail i mention it, if i tried the same i do. Isn't that the point of WDF? Cause last time i checked it was. All of us are free to say what we feel or do, or would you prefer we'd lie? Would you prefer us to say AB i super easy and that we are on AB when we did actually jerk off everyday? I won't lie, i'll be honest, and i'm sure we both agree that honesty is the best policy.

I'd really appreciate some advises from someone that has AB for a long time, and any of those would be welcome. But this is MY JOURNEY, not yours. I use this space to relate what happens on my life, what happens with my AB, and i won't be judged, thats not right, is it. And you, you have no right to be judge or executioner of me or of no one else, as i am aware, you're equal to all of us, human, mortal, limited by the laws of nature.

I hope this finds anyone reading well. Remember, all of us share the same, but all of us are different and we all face different difficulties, and the way i handle mine aren't necessarily the way you should handle your. After all, we're merely human, fragile, imperfect, mortal - we're not Gods - and we're not always right!
We're all different, we're all the same.
As of failure, i live by the moto in my signature:

Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

This is futureWDmer, and its DAY 1 of AB and its good to be alive!!

Peace and hugs to you all
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

Day 2 here

Well, its the beginning of day 2 and i just woke up a bit horny as hell its not that easy to wake up with a massive boner and ignore it, but its what i'm trying to do, even if popping while i'm writing this.

Also, to Texanguy, specially:
As i did replied you, i do thank your concern, and can only hope you can provide good and practical advice to me and to anyone else. I do believe you have good intentions and wanna help, i really do. Just don't see everyone as equal and also, the most i did say was: use more empathy so you know how the others see mb and AB - as i said everyone is different, everyone is the same and after all, we're int he same boat. Don't criticize, be nice, be helpful.
I surely don't want a "war" with you, you have your opinion and i have mine - and i assume many guys/girls would disagree my own opinions and i'm fine with that.

I wish you good Texanguy and to everyone else,

Sheers,
Hugs,
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

Hey future,

Wow, that was a sore spot texan guy hit. Hope things are well with you. Stay strong, We are all together in this journey, in one way or another.

D

Hi Future,

What you're going through sounds awful. Everybody has stuff they're dealing with. I support you and hope you keep focused to achieve you're goal. I know you were upset with Texan, understandably so, but we are all only trying to help each other. Keep strong.

LEWIS

This journal has become interesting. I will say this, since we are all entitled to our opinions, everyone has issues. Some have family issues, work issues, emotional issues, sexual issues, physical issues. Social and the list goes on. Most have combos of these issues.


I am not going to go as far to say that our issues relate to our MB habit. I mean I guess it could be considered a comfort place, and if MBing is an addiction we have developed, no addiction should be fought against, especially not a terribly harmful one like MB, when we have a lot of stresses in our lives. We are doomed for failure if that is the case.

I for one love control when stress is high as it reduces my stress. Most stresses in my world are things that I have no control over or no matter how much effort you put it in to control something, you just can't. I feel it is safe to say that is the case for most people. So for me, if I have lack of control in one area of my life, I try to have control another area that currently lacks control. MBing is one example, while getting in shape, or learning something are other examples.

The point I'm trying to make, per the above, is if the fact that you are MB is one of your stressers, and you also I have family stuff going on, curbing MB now might not be a good time. It has a greater risk of failure, and as you pointed out, the AB failure you recently had made you feel like shit.

On the opposite hand, MBing "is" something you have full control over. This isn't Heroin addiction where we need to take withdrawal medicine bc we will start getting terribly sick to the point it can kill us. MB, like many things in life, is more about willpower. Stopping yourself from wanting something that feels good when we do it.

It's like the guy who cheats on his wife. He loves her, he loves women, and so he has this burning urge to have sex with other women bc it would feel awesome, he would feel awesome and bc he'd feel manly that many women want him. So he pursues it and as soon as he is successful and blows his load, he has his post-orgasmic epiphany that he should never have cheated, feels guilt, but somehow does it again and again days/weeks down the road.

Another and maybe better example would be eating. We all eat, and we enjoy eating some food or other food. Some of us even over indulge. There are folks who are even told that a heart attack is imminent if they keep going down this path, and yet they still can't stop eating things that are bad for them....bc it feels good to eat bad and the road ahead to healthiness is much more difficult.

Willpower is a funny thing. It strongly correlates with desire. When a person's desire to NOT do something, such as MB, is greater than the difficulty of not doing it or greater than the desire to MB, they succeed in not MBing. This goes for anything in life.

For me, I have a strong desire right now to achieve a prostate orgasm. I never had one, therefore I want one, and my desire to have one is greater than my desire to MB. If I find out that I simply cant attain one at all, or it is just taking to long for what it is worth to me, my desire will decline, the perceived difficulty would stay the same or increase, and my desire to MB would be greater than my desire not to. I would fail ABing from MB.

In the case of the unhealthy person 3 paragraphs above..if I offered him a nice fatty cheeseburger, but if he didn't eat it he would automatically become healthy, he likely would not eat it bc the level of difficulty to become healthy just blew below his desire to become healthy. He would have the willpower. Tell him he would have to make this same decision thousands of more times over the next year to become healthy and not die, he'd likely not have the willpower and end up dying.

I remember this time when I was 21. I was dating this girl who I really liked and my ex came over my house. She started giving me a handjob and I was loving it and coming close to orgasm, but near that moment I said to myself, "F this woman trying to screw up my relationship, the other girl is a good person and I like her" I told my ex to get the hell off, I shot out of bed, and told her to go home. Told my current gf then what I did, and we continued to date for some time. My desire to not cheat, or cheat more in this case..was greater than the desire to achieve an O and/or the difficulty to stop myself right before an O. Willpower.

Some things in life I will have it with, other things I will not. Such is life. Ask me to never touch my penis again or have any sort of Orgasm bc of some new scientific info that we will live 10 years longer.....sorry...I will have no willpower to do such a thing..its that simple.

Future, Ive read tons of WD journals. Too many. Ive seen many people where their journal reads as "day 1, 2,3,4,5 failure", 1,2,3,4 failure, 1,2,3 failure, and it goes that way for months, even years of failure posts...Opinion or not, it happens that way bc of WILLPOWER, or lack thereof.

Thats not meant as a dig. Like I said, there are many things I and others, including Texanguy, have no willpower for. in the past, ABing from MB has been one Ive had no willpower for. My advice to you would be to find a strong desire to stop MBing, or admit to yourself that now is not the right time to try and quit. Take your time and come back to it when you KNOW your desire to not MB or have a WD, is way above your desire to feel an O from MB, or greater than the difficulty of not MBing.

I can guarantee you'll benefit from approaching it that way.

Hey Guys

Well, its Day 1 - apparently i don't go up in the number, no problem, time is for now not short.
Yesterday morning i did woke up so horny and i just cave in and did mb... Well, i have to admit, it did feel great, and this time, it didn't had that negative effect: it simply was a good orgasm and one liberating
But, i do hope i'm back on track, cause i do wanna AB, i do wanna give up mb and i wanna achieve a WD if possible, that would be just super awesome



gmen2007, i did love your post, and thanks for the follow up, it means a lot to have people following up and showing interest and i'd love to hear more from you men. Thanks for your direct but kind words and i can't agree more.
I believe its the right time now to AB - maybe if not now, there won't ever be a right time.
Yes, i do have some issues - but well, we all do, and we all face them and things will also get better. Thanks so much for your words men It means a lot.



I didn't mean for you to go away Texanguy. Your support is good to know of and also, i'd certainly could use your experience, i just rejected the way you said it, not what you said! I just want peace and love, love and peace.

Mom is getting better and it's so nice to see managing to be herself again. I continue to help out off course

And thats it guys and girls
Hugs
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

Day 4

Hey people,
I've been quite busy so i've not able to update my log, but all remains much the same. I've began this AB round 4 days ago. Yesterday just before going to bed i did feel some desire to mb and i did stimulate myself a bit - but i ended it after a bit. I don't wanna edge if i will AB and that will make it even worse. Also, if i want a WD, ASAP, well, edging can't be done not to mention blue balls.
Today it was a somehow easy day to ab and no desire to mb did arise... i was pretty loaded with work and was busy - which is the best for AB, too busy to think in mb.

Things are getting better at home and finally i'm at ease with my mom - she's finally herself again and she did regain her strength, so, so far so good - i know, asthma is a chronic problem, so eventually, i'll be scared once again - but for now, i'm released.

Tomorrow starts another week of work and this will be a busy one. Can only hope that may also help me on my AB.

Hugs
See you soon
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

DAY 5

This is going to be a quick update. I'm so tired today - it was a really heavy day of work and i'm broken... But i did develop good work i guess, so that also makes me happy.
Nothing has changed and the night was calm. No erections and no pre-cum...
Can only hope i can continue on this AB round

Hugs
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

future,
Glad to see you are happy and doing well at work. Sometimes I wish I was working instead of being at school. I am also glad to see that you made it. Keep up the good work.

D