Wet Dream Forum

Hello!

I have a very important question: I'm in my mid twenties old right now. I started to masturbate when I was 12, and then at the age of 14 I promised myself to stop. Since 15 I have never done it.

However, more problems arose. During that period of masturbation I was promising myself and swearing not to masturbate since I thought it can influence my health and my achievements. Basically I was thinking it's really bad and I stopped. But since then I started to have erections with pre-ejaculate. I would see it when I was aroused or was in the bathroom. All of this things combined with the idea that masturbation is really bad for my health and that it's a sin. It made me afraid of pre-ejaculate or erections.

If I saw pre-ejaculate or had an erection, I started to blame myself. I thought that if I did something before it, such as read a book, that now I can't do it. Basically, I was really nervous about such things like erection or pre-ejaculate from both spiritual and mental viewpoints.

That was before I was 17. After that I still had that problem but I also started to have daily ejaculations during arousal. It was really terrible. Once it happened I would go into a depression for six months and feel that I was less developed, weaker, and lost everything I had before.

This continued until I turned 20. Now I have another problem. In terms of pre-ejaculate, I developed my own psychological treatment of the problem: as long as I have a wet dream after pre-cum, I become normal again since actual sperm includes pre-cum and wet dream will happen anyway given that I don't masturbate. But now I can't treat the problem of pre-cum and erections with wet dreams. Now if I feel pre-cum on my underwear the effect is the same as in terms of real masturbation or ejaculation - I start blaming myself for hours and days, feel that I lost everything I had before. I feel that I can't do the stuff I could do before. I go into depression, can't wake up in the morning, because I'm blaming myself all the time.

Recently it happened to me. I was barely aroused and felt pre-cum on my underwear when I was in the bathroom in the morning and since that time I'm blaming myself and can't stop, I can't do anything - only blame myself and that is it. I have the same feeling as before. Now I'm even afraid of a little arousal and of even little thoughts about girls.

I never had girlfriend in my life, never, and because of this problem, I'm afraid of the consequences.

Do you think it's a sort of answer to me because I was masturbating, which is bad? Or is it a psychological problem of me? How should I treat it? I know that it's not normal. Should I go psychotherapist? Are there any particular cases like mine? Please help me! I have this problem for a long time, sometimes almost daily. Now I control myself, but it happens independently.

Wet dreams used to help me forget pre-cum but when i was in high school but this doesn't work anymore.

Help me to solve this problem!

Hey coolsup22... All you wrote is very interesting, and I would try to help you a little bit. First, I think your problem is a psychological one, because somewhere in your mind you developed a wrong connection between pre-cum or ejaculation and feeling guilty... so probably you have to work on that. But first I would ask you, why did you think masturbation in wrong? Back then when you were fourteen. And also, does this feeling of guilt also appear when it is about other things? Not necessarily related to sexual matters?

I think that maybe the fact that for so long you tried to dampen or to deny something that was natural for your body, like pre-cum leaking or all the stuff, your brain is a little confused so to say... so you must try to find out what is the origin of this feeling of guilt. Does it come from certain religious beliefs? Or how was it created or implemented in your character?

_________________
DATE OF LAST ORGASM: after MB 1 august 2013 (WD 25 nov)
DAYS SINCE LAST MB: 118
WD: Current around 8 in 4 months, life time a lot
SE: Current 1, Lifetime 2
LONGEST STREAK OF AB FROM MB: 1 year and 8 months
GOAL: LIFELONG

There is nothing to feel guilty about in relation to your penis or any of the acts or situations you described in your post.

Erections, precum, getting wet, leaking, ejaculating, touching, masturbating, edging, wet dreams, sexual thoughts, exploring yourself; these are all completely natural things about which one should never feel any guilt - particularly as an adult with the benefit of knowing about 'the birds and the bees' and how it all works.

If you are finding yourself unable to move on from the guilt feelings and it is affecting your wellbeing then you should consider talking to a professional who can help you work through those issues.

Hey Coolsup22,

Reading your post makes me feel happy that you found this forum. All the body sensations you describe are your birth right as a male. Your body was made and programmed that way. Although I am a newbie too, it's appears to me that the members of this forum have come together to share these experiences and celebrate and enjoy them for the gift they are.

Don't feel embarrassed or guilty if that's how you are feeling. The experiences you have described are given to you for a good reason and have been given to all the rest of us men, since time began. You say you get comfort from wetdreams, but you can and should take comfort from all the other sensations you experience as your body is working exactly as nature intended it to.

Don't worry about girls, when its right it will happen for you and when it does, intimacy tends to just take care of itself.

We are here for you bro. Stay strong.

You seem to have a pretty in-ground psychological block. I'd recommend visiting a sex therapist. Words of encouragement from others can help pepper the flames, but to truly douse them, you'll need professional help, I think.

_________________
Days Abstained: 3 (Record: 47 days)
Description of day 3 so far: Back to the old grind. Or rather, not grinding. Well, maybe a rub or two.

I think that it all happened as a result of some exogenous long -lasting fears and thoughts, nobody actually scared me with this. I developed it somehow.

Now i am in mid 20s and i am still afraid of these things.

Regarding if similar thing are happening with respect to other stuff in daily life: yes.

I somehow developed a fear that gasoline fumes are harmful for health and brain and now afraid of pumping gas - afraid of smell.

also i heard that power lines are harmful for brain and now i am afraid to walk in the street with power lines.

for some reason such thoughts come to me and then stay for a long time. Fear that this stuff affects my performance and stuff.

Thanks

Hey bro! I believe that if such fears are present also in other areas of your life, you might try to seek a psychologist... This because it means that somehow your feelings overreact do different stimuli which cause fear. And he might help you overcome that, and change bad or too strong feelings and fears and behaviours with normal ones... by practically seeing things in a their real light...

_________________
DATE OF LAST ORGASM: after MB 1 august 2013 (WD 25 nov)
DAYS SINCE LAST MB: 118
WD: Current around 8 in 4 months, life time a lot
SE: Current 1, Lifetime 2
LONGEST STREAK OF AB FROM MB: 1 year and 8 months
GOAL: LIFELONG

Okay. Thanks.

But what do you experience in such situations?

Hi Coolsup22,

Good that you have started talking about this as this is the first stage in moving towards a resolution.
You mention in your post "fear that this stuff affects my performance and stuff" - would you be willing to explain this a little more?
All the fears you mention appear to be health related, is that correct? When you say "affect my performance" do you mean only sexual performance or is there another context?

One more question, have you revealed your issues to others, like friends or family?

I think the recommendations from other poster to consider talking to a psychologist are spot on.

By performance i mean mental, i feel if i read a book and understood, after this happens i can't no longer understand it. Feeling of being mentally weaker and feeling that everything productive that happened before is lost. it has nothing to do with physical or sexual stuff - everything is about mental things. For example, after pre-cum that happened i have lower IQ level.

i feel like i made a mistake when i feel pre-cum. i blame myself for making a mistake of just feeling it or seeing it, also not controlling myself before since i experienced pre-cum.

sometimes even little arousal and feeling of being aroused is bad. i start obsessively blaming myself for this happening. i am afraid of erection during the day.

at the same time if it's something that happens at night like a wet dream/ morning erection I am totally normal with it since it's purely exogenous to me (i.e. happened while asleep).

May be it has some features of obsessive-compulsive thing?

in terms of telling about it to somebody - i've never talked to somebody about this, never.
it's been 10 years already!

i basically almost never have erections during the day (never) for the last 8 years (morning and night only)!

don't know how it all really happened - i just promised myself not to masturbate. but then i start seeing pre-cum while in the
bathroom and erections which then somehow developed into this phobias.

its interesting that before 15 (before i promised myself to stop masturbation) i had pre-cum and was never afraid of it or anything. i had erections but i thought that its all fine.

at the core it all happened because i was thinking that masturbation makes you stupid and any type of ejaculation before you are grown enough is not good for your mental level.

i think it's just a mental feeling that i developed which makes it like this.

so want to be like i was in early teens - it was the only when i didn't have this phobia!!!

may be i should just find a girlfriend/ fall in love and go through this - then it might disappear.

Can this problem be solved using hypnosis?
what do you guys feel when you have erections/ pre-cum? do you feel normal after?

Coolsup22,

I am so pleased you are talking about this now. The fact that this forum feels safe and non-judgemental no doubt allows you to open up and share your anxiety.

My sense is that you probably have a combination of issues in the hypochondria and OCD areas. A fear of arousal and in particular masturbation sounds like the trigger point and it snowballed from there. You say nobody put these ideas into you head, but are you sure about that? It's a tricky and sensitive area and I don't want to offend anyone, but did you grow up in an environment with strong traditional religious beliefs? The reason I ask is that some such circles believe that MB is a taboo and causes harm, either physically or spiritually. Are you sure you have not been exposed to these beliefs?

Age 15 may well have been the time your sexual engine really started, which brought about the most profound desire to MB, causing you strong mental anxiety and conflict between the urges you felt and your sense that to indulge would be profoundly wrong.

The fact that you have developed other phobias suggests you are very susceptible to suggestion and concerned about your mental and physical wellbeing. Do you worry about your health a lot?

You ask how we feel when we get pre-cum and erections. I can answer for myself by saying the following:

Pleasure, enjoyment
Proud to be a man
Pleased my equipment works exactly as it should
Enjoying the chance to Masturbate or have sex if I can
Thinking about when I might be lucky enough to experience arousal again
Hope it happens again soon
Hope it continues to happen for the rest of my life......

As I mentioned before, all these feelings make you a totally normal healthy male. You can masturbate until you are exhausted and sore but nothing bad will happen, nothing at all. I suspect it will do you a lot of good, releasing tension and restoring more normal hormones. you could benefit from the oxytocin boost you get with orgasm, which will help you relax and settle down at bit.

I think you need to be honest with yourself about the trigger for your MB phobia, these things normally always have a trigger.

Happy to keep talking if its helping you in some small way, but I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. You can face this down. You have made the biggest and most important step already, by talking about it with others.

Hey Boxer,

Thanks for your reply.

No, nobody told me that masturbation is harmful - i developed this fear purely by myself for two reasons:

1) I saw a statement in the book of non-traditional medicine saying that masturbation is harmful for brain activity

2) I by myself thought that masturbation is bad for health if you are 14-15 years old. i though that ejaculation is normal only for people who are 19-20 or above (sufficiently grown)

Then i promised not to masturbate at all - but i was still having erections/pre-cum. First, there was no fear, but then somehow i developed it - i don't know how - it happened automatically by itself. Then pre-cum and erections became a phobia from around mid 15 years old till now.

At that time i didn't know that masturbation is normal - i thought it's something secret and bad that i was doing - but all these thoughts i developed since there was nobody to talk with.

Also I had the following treatment of the problem - if i had pre-cum that i saw or felt then i would go into depression and become upset. but then i developed the following thing: if i had a wet dream then all negative effect from pre-cum would vanish and the reason is wet dream contains sperm and it's actual ejaculation, so independently of having daily pre-cum or not i would still have ejaculated and then i would stop worrying about having last pre-cum untill i had another pre-cum.

Sometimes i feel i am worried not about pre-cum or negative effect of it - it's more like i am worried about the fact that made myself feel pre-cum or was aroused - this is where it's more like obsession - i know pre-cum is not harmful but i still blame myself for the fact that made myself feel or see it (i.e. it could be better if i didn't see or feel it). It's sort of I made a mistake and blame myself for this mistake rather than thinking that pre-cum is bad.

For example, of I wake up in the morning and feel pre-cum i think it's totally normal - since it's happened while i was sleeping and nothing i could have done to prevent it. Now if I actually see pre-cum coming out (like really see) then i start blaming myself - like - oh, why looked down, why i should have looked straight not at the penis and etc.

If I feel aroused and then there is pre-cum that I feel on my underwear I blame myself like: why did you make that move - you could have controlled you moves and don't stand up so that no feelings of pre-cum occur after.

Meanwhile if i feel pre-cum or wet on the underwear - and i wasn't aroused before then i don't blame myself since there is no fault that i could have made (wasn't aroused).

In general I am criticizing myself a lot for mistakes.

Do you know what's the best way to treat this problem? I think the best thing is to just meet a girl, fall in love and all the fears will disappear. I am really tired of this thing - it's already 10 years!

It sounds like you're a young guy who isn't enjoying life much, because of some silly ideas that you have fixated on about MB and your genitals. You may need some kind of therapy to get over it and start living. You shouldn't feel bad about your body and natural functions.
Let us know how it all works out in a couple months.

Hi coolsup22... How do you fell today?

I'm a newbie to the site too and i'm on the quest to have an WD after many years of mb (ok not many, maybe 7 or so).
I can understand you a bit. As i said in another post (viewtopic.php?f=9&t=6067), i'm suffering from a depression for about 1,5 years. In the post i explain why. In few words i lost my father at 17 and for 3 years i just forgot that i had ever a father. I forgot all good and bad things about that and became, a little less than a carcass without soul/emotions. For 3 years i thought i was living ok, but then i crumbled to the floor. I began to cry a lot for no apparent reason. I began not to sleep. I could not eat... and here there's the first similarity, i believe. I was hungry, but i was always thinking that the food i was taking might kill me. My father had some allergies and sometimes the got his lips swollen (he did not died from an allergy, it was a cerebral stroke ate the age of 50). Don't know how, but assimilate that i was also allergic to several, in fact, to all food and liquids (except water, and even that, sometimes i was afford of drinking. I could only eat something in the presence of someone, who, in my mind would be able to call the doctor in the case the food really was harmful to me. I also began to have some OCD symptoms. I needed to wash my hands more than usual everyday, and could not be a simple wash. I had to be sure i clean well my hands with soap and then i made sure every soap in my hands would be cleaned by water. I also was afraid of coming out to the street, i was afraid of crowds, i was afraid i could not breath. In fact, i was afraid of a thousand things. Fortunately i'm much much better now. But for that a got to do something first:

1) Admit the problem, thats the way to go.

2) Go to a GOOD psychiatrist. I know, the word is kinda strong. But going to that doctor does not mean we're crazy, it only means we need help, and they are the ones who have the best knowledge how to help us with our problems. I really do not regret going to one. The meds really helped me.

3) A GOOD psychologist is also in order. It was very helpful to me understand my situations. It helped me getting my ideas in place. One thing that is great is that the psychologist is someone you don't know so you can tell to that person everything you want and need to say. Since most of the problems we see are only in our head and when we talk about them, they became easier. Not saying they disappear, but they certainly get less problematic.

4) Trust in your self. That's something that i had lost but that i regain. You need to trust and believe in you.

5) Believe that you'll get BETTER

I'm much better know. I have been following the meds prescribed to me and they helped me getting much more comfortable and much more relax and without so much fears and phobias. I still go to the doctors. I'm not ashamed of that and advice everyone in the need to go. There's nothing wrong with that.

I truly believe you are a very rational person. I'm also. For me there must be a reason, an explanation for everything. That so, i thought i had a brain tumor at the time and forced my doctor do order an CT scan to be sure i was not dying before accepting my diagnosis: a major depression event associated with an anxiety disorder.
I'm really touch by your story and really want to help you bro. I know that i don't "know" you. But i'm hear for you, really. We all are here for you.

You have given the first step, you talked to someone. That's GREAT. And as for me the forum is a great help for me to continue my AB and have a WD, the forum can also help you with your problems. The people in here truly comprehend all of people.

And, you really need to think, reflect on your phobias. I know, it's tuff. I had my share of them and as i said, it was tuff... Only for you to imagine, i was 3 week without eating... i lost something as 20 kg. I only drank water, some milk, eat some rice, a little steak, and always in very little quantity. My mother was really afraid that i was going to the hospital. So i understand phobias. But think:

1) You're a men right?
2) Men have a penis and 2 testicles
3) The penis is made of muscle, and besides peeing, it also is able of getting hard
4) The testicles produce sperm
5) If the testicles produce continuously sperm, it must go somewhere.
6) If not used on purpose (sex or masturbation) it must be relieved of the body >> wet dreams

With pre cum is the same thing. As you know, pre cum it's a lubricant of the urethra so when having sex, the sperm gets alive to the vagina (the urethra has a low pH that could kill the sperm and so the pre cum, not only allows the survival of the sperm and also facilitates intercourse). So it's all natural. When the penis gets excited, the brain sends a stimuli to your cooper glands to secret pre cum (it thinks you're going to have sex and procreate). In fact, you're not going to have sex, you're only aroused, but the brains does not know that. So you have a discharge of pre cum. But there's nothing bad on that, is completely natural.

Also, if you ejaculate, you're only getting some sperm out of you, nothing more. You're IQ, your mental capacities, your habilities, etc, will never decrease. That does not happen to healthy people, only the ones that have problems in their head like a tumor, Alzeimers, etc. You are a young, handsome guy that should be living your life without that much fears. Begin to think on your fears and see if they make sense.

In terms of ejaculation a can tell you that, i'm 21 yo, and have jack off a lot of times and i'm not dying and im not stupid, and i believe, a have some IQ
Think on the others in the forum that are older than me and you and have ejaculated much much more. They are alive and well.

For me, i'm AB because of religious reasons (can see it on my log) and i really want to fell the full experience of having again WD.

I really understand you, and really would like to help you, if you let me. And i speak for everyone in the forum, that we ara all here to help you. But you also need to help yourself.
One way would be to talk to this with someone you really trust and respect and the feelings are mutual. Or, better still, for you not be ashamed, talk to a good doctor, he will help you. And of course, you CAN ALWAYS TALK TO US IN HEAR. FELL ALWAYS FREE FOR THAT.
I don't know if you believe in God, but if you do, like me, pray to him, his mercy shall get you up.

Sorry for the long post and really hope i could be of some use. I'm here for you. I truly understand you.
I want you to GET BETTER.

love
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

So coolsup22, how are you?
I'm waiting for you. Really want to help you get better and really worried about you. Let us help you and give you strength. Remember, we love you.

Love,
futureWDmer

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

Hey man how are you.

I got your email about how you have wet dreams consistently.
I too do not indulge in pornography or masturbation (not for religious reasons but because it makes me a lifeless depressed zombie with no purpose).

Anyway the point is if you are having wet dreams consistently and you are in your mid twenties that is not normal.
I had them too. I'd get them 1-8 times a week sometimes 3 times in a night and basically on average once a night.
Then they'd decrease in frequency and I'd have them every 5-7 days.

Either way they were seriously taking a toll on me. So I went to the urologist and initially he said he had no idea on what he could do. Then I started thinking what if wet dreams aren't actually the problem but a symptom of the problem?
The thing about people like us who abstain and have wet dreams consistently is that there isn't much research on the internet for us because the majority of people choose to masturbate.

So I started noting down observations. I noticed that when I have a wet dream I have a little pain in my perennial area which is the area between your anus and your genitals. Then I Googled on why this is happening and stumbled across something called prostatitis which is an infection of the prostate.
I noticed that I have a lot of it's symptoms but they are very hard symptoms to notice. Like frequency of urination. Discontinued uriniation. Urge to urinate frequently. Pain with ejaculation.
There's other symptoms too.
Here is a list: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-cond ... N-20020916

But I went to the urologist just the other day and he performed a prostate exam and it was determined that I have it. So I was prescribed anti-biotics.
I don't know if they will take away the wet dream problem since I've just been on them recently but the only way to tell is to stay on no fap/no porn and stick it out for 7-12 days. And if I don't have a wet dream in those days then it's safe to say that the anti biotics work.

As for your precum problem and such you are supposed to have precum when you are aroused its normal. It's nowhere near an ejaculation because an ejaculation you have an orgasm which is more psychological then physical. Precum you aren't having a significant amount of dopamine or anything like that released so therefore you are fine.
Don't stress out about precum so much. And if you're leaking or having discharge it depends on what it's like. It could be seminal leakage which I recall reading someone that had prostattis had seminal leakage.

Anyway I hope I helped. I would get a prostate exam by an urologist to make sure you're okay. I tried looking on Google for days and hours but the majority of the people on the internet won't really be able to help you that much. I hope I did a little here.
Good luck.
If you have any questions I suggest you message/email me or whatever because I don't come on these forums often.

MaxD, it is not that unusual for a guy to get frequent WDs, especially at your age. It may not have anything to do with any medical condition. It can actually be a sign of real recovery from the masturbation habit, since guys in cultures where masturbation is strongly forbidden, and where they never even tried it, may have frequent WDs.

As far as we can tell, WDs are more for the brain to experience orgasms when other outlets are not available, rather than to empty out a full load. That is why it may take a long wait for the first WD when on 'no fap', and then they can become more frequent. It also explains why a guy can go for weeks without a WD and then get two in one night.

The normal response to a WD is not to experience the same 'letdown' that masturbation gives. I think one of the flaws in the thinking on 'no fap' sites is that some of them think a WD is about the same as fapping. But these same guys see nothing wrong with having sex, and don't experience the same negative aftereffects. A typical WD is more like having sex than it is like fapping, and in fact quite often they are having sex in the WD.

I think the way to look at it is that you have gotten far enough away from fapping that you have completely normal -- and properly enjoyable -- dream sex. It is a sign of a healthy sex drive and functioning body of a guy who has put fapping behind him. If you would enjoy having sex with the right person at an appropriate time in your life, you should see WDs as a close and enjoyable alternative to that until that day comes.

Haha.
WDs are normal if you have them occasionally.
WDs are a way of your body releasing sperm when there is too much in your system.

Whoever told you having a WD everyday or 3-4 times a week lied or is ignorant

I have been on no PMO for very long. In fact on the 3rd of Feb it will be one year for me.
When I started no PMO I would have one every sixty or more days.
I come from different forums of no PMO and there's people with longer streaks than mine who only experience them once in a while as well.

Your body doesn't seek out and release dopamine on it's own dude. Your body is not some robot that will take over and seek pleasure. The reason my body had so many WDs is most like due to a congested prostate or my prostate infection.
When I look back I guess it's good in a way I had so many because it's an indicator that something is wrong.

But the point is whoever told you that freqeunt WDs are normal lied. The most frequent rate is like one in every two weeks or so and that's for people who are like 15. Of course if you're like in your first month of no PMO and used to fap vigorously then you may have them more frequent than the 15 year old. But any serious frequency of wet dreams is not normal at all.

It's a sign that something is wrong. Whether it's your prostate or your imbalance of hormones

That is really good information, Texanguy! Thanks for sharing!

MaxD, it's interesting that you are so absolute and certain, even though you are wrong.

Here's some links:

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthrea ... =145430761


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index ... 218AAyPWCA


http://www.healthboards.com/boards/sexu ... reams.html


http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/interactive/ ... 9-f10.html
From a doctor:


A religious guy who never masturbated
http://forums.catholic.com/showthread.php?p=9528405


http://the-best-day-ever.blogspot.com/
A health nut (scroll down to find this quote)


As I said, it is not too uncommon for some guys to get very frequent WDs, especially in the teen years.

It also is not uncommon to enjoy them.


This site has been around since you were very young. A lot of it had been lost, but there was a member (J0SH) who abstained from MB years ago, After 45 days, he got his first WD. He started getting several per week, and even two in one night once. They went away after he resumed MB, and he never managed to reach that point again.

The biggest 'success story' here was shadow-15. He went from 0 WDs to 4-5 WDs per week. He much preferred them. His original posts and story are gone, but here's a quote from a post that quoted him on how to get WDs.



I recommend that you do some of your own research. If you Google enough, you'll find that while it doesn't happen to everyone, it is not uncommon for guys to start getting WDs weeks or months after quitting MB.

You are in the high normal range, and don't (or won't allow yourself) to enjoy them.

If your antibiotics don't help, consider that you might be just fine.

hi guys,

i masturbated. after 11 years of abstaining!

This is how it happened:

Weird things started to happen: i would wake up in the middle of the night and start to hump the mattress. This once made me experience pre-cum and have an anxiety for 3-4 months. I was very unproductive. Then this night wake up happened again and i couldn't hold myself and basically sleep masturbated to full ejaculation.

Next day i was so aroused that i went on and was playing with myself. Suddenly i had spontaneous ejaculation without any orgasm or anything - just randomly. i was depressed next day that i couldn't hold myself. so i decided to go on and masturbate to see how i'll feel; after - i was desperate. i did ejaculate basically in a few seconds. i was doing it 2-3 times and then stopped.

I started to have anxiety about doing it and not being able to hold myself - i wanted to accept mb as part of life so i after one week from that incident i started to do it again. i did it 3-4 times in one week and then stopped. It took me a lot of anxiety and pain to recover back to normal mood but then after 4 weeks of abstaining i did it again:

I was just laying in bed and playing with penis and there again was a spontaneous leak without orgasm. I was anxious that i couldn't stop myself from playing with the body and did finish it to the end. after that i did it 3 times more during the following 2 days.

I don't know how to be now. the fact that i am doing it basically makes me not to worry about pre-cum, erection, girls and stuff since i know that i always have this exit via mb. at the same time i think that ejaculating makes me weak and stupid, it's not that it's happening in the reality, it's just that i have this mental stigma attached to it.

I realize that all of you guys are trying to abstain here on the forum. I could easily abstain again, but then i feel regret about doing mb again. in some sense mb is like a therapy against my pre-cum phobia and accepting it as part of life will solve my anxieties. at the same time i think that my mental abilities went down after mb.

After I started mb i could abstain for 4-5 weeks but then i did it again. I was anxious about not holding myself from doing it especially since I knew that even playing with my penis a little can cause me to have a spontaneous leak and make me further masturbate. But I still couldn't hold myself. I blame myself for not being able to self-control myself.

It's kinda like this: masturbating helped me to reset all my previous anxiety I had about feeling pre-cum last time but it made me to have new anxieties about masturbating and doing it several times in a row. I then accepted the fact that I masturbated as "it happened the way it happened". But then I couldn't hold myself again and now it makes me feel bad about not being able to abstain plus I feel i want to do it once more. I realize that may be in my case just accepting mb as part of life is a way to go but i don't know. In some sense now I am like smbd who wants to abstain but

1) doesn't know whether its necessary given the situation and mental problem

2) fights with himself to abstain - which is i guess a usual story for some guys.

What do you guys think about this continuation of the story? Why do you abstain? What would you recommend?

How should I proceed? what makes you guys to abstain?

May be I should reset everything and not MB again? Like just accept that it was part of my life where things happened in a way that I MB after 11 years of abstaining, then everything went out of my control - I couldn't self-control myself, was fighting with whether MB should be part of life or not (i.e. it took some time and effort to go back to abstaining path), made several mistakes on the way back to abstaining but then eventually went back on the usual track of abstaining?

Is it really a record of 11 years of not MB?

hey, coolsup22. I think i understand exactly how you feel. I am a christian and i know that masturbation and lust are sins. (some people might debate that but thats what i believe). I also have been trying to abstain and its really difficult at times. sometimes i only make it 3 or 4 days before the urge to mb takes over and i give in. But im going to keep trying. The most important thing to know is, don't worry about getting sexual thoughts in your head and erections and stuff....its just a normal thing and WD's are perfectly normal. They are NOT a sin because you did not consciously intend to do it. So you don't have to worry about that. Another thing that helps if your feeling anxious or stressed out is excersise. It really does wonders for me, and helps me use up all my pent up energy so im doing something productive. I would highly recommend working out. Its a great cure for depression. I always feel more energetic and in an overall more positive mood while im abstaining and working out . So i think that's the way to go really. Another thing......talk to your friends and hang out with em....it will take your mind of off worrying about stupid crap all the time and you'll have fun. Lastly. always remember to pray.

hope this helps

I feel if I start MB then I will just accept it as a normal bodily function the normal man should live with.

I don't want to abstain -then how will I ever find a GF and start dating.

help me guys!

Believe in yourself. Although I do not know how to fix it

so continuation of the story:

anxieties about pre-cum made me so anxious that i started to masturabate, nut masturbation brought new anxieties.

first by itself. it took me 3 months to accept masturbation - I don;t know how it happened but i somehow accepted masturbating once a day as a normal and had may be 3-4 months of happy normal life without any anxieties. But the the new problem appeared.

I was usually masturbating around 11 pm at night since it was convenient.

But once I did MB at around 9pm which was earlier than my scheduled time of 10 pm or later.

Because of this I got anxious for a week or so and then decided to solve anxiety the following way:

I masturbate slightly after 7 pm - so that it will patch my previous anxiety but at the same time I won't feel anxious about going earlier than usual schedule of 10 pm since this masturbation event was necessary to prevent myself from anxiety. But then I couldn't hold myself and did it around 6.30 pm which gave me new anxiety (previous anxiety about 9 disappeared). I got so anxious and couldn't hold myself and did start edging after may be an hour or so - then I stopped edging because I was feeling I can do it twice and that can give me more anxiety. But then during next couple of hours I got anxious for edging and not finishing to the end which gave me new anxiety on top of the current one - so I went on and finished it off not to the full orgasm without any semi-edgings and stuff. That gave me now new anxiety for finishing it off, and two current anxieties - for edging and for doing it at 6 instead of 7 continued. It was on Friday.


Next morning on Saturday I woke up and was so anxious and lost - like i thought i finally solved my issue with masturbation and could manage it - but really I can't do it. I did MB that same morning in bed again.


On Sunday I was bored and depressed because of feeling that i lost everything and was blaming myself for lack of self-control - basically the same anxious thoughts that i had when experiencing pre-cum/erection a year ago (during 10 years since i stopped masturbating) came back. So it was already afternoon, I couldn't hold myself, partially because I was feeling everything is lost anyway, and masturbated again. Then I was sleeping during afternoon to just get rid of these anxieties for some time. So I woke up around 9 pm and was feeling anxious for the stuff happened - i went for a ride to at least somehow patch my anxieties but couldn't - they were coming back again and again. So when i was back home around 12 - i did masturbate again. i think i did it out of desperation.


Then I was feeling anxious for the whole week again - the level of anxiety was so high and debilitating that i was staying home and didn't want to do anything, didn't want to go to the library/school to do work/studies cause i was experiencing such a high mental pain inside. It's like mental self-beating.


I could manage my masturbation compulsion to once a day at night like I was usually doing . But Monday this week I woke up and was feeling anxious again - so i just went on finished it off in my bed again - then i just stayed in my place and didn't go to the library cause the level of anxiety was continuing to be high. Then I did masturbate during noon time again.


The level of mental pain is so high that i can't do any work. i don't enjoy any single thing in life. i just continue to mentally beat and criticize myself for not following the schedule, for not being able to control myself, for doing it twice a day, for not having 21-24 hour interval between episodes of masturbation, for not doing it at night. I am also beating myself for edging that Friday night, like i say:'' why did you edged and stopped, should have just finished it off to the end since you already started it - now it's like 3 times a day but could have been only two which you already did once (i already had such period of doing it twice a day for a week over last summer when starting to do it - I was battling with my self for not being able to abstain and not accepting masturbation).


I then try to somehow rationalize all my masturbation mistakes. Like everything that happened after edging on Friday - basically Saturday morning, Sunday afternoon and night, this week Monday morning and noon masturbations happened because i was desperate and was seeking some way to get rid of all of these anxieties which was just go and masturbate. Plus when i was suffering anxieties last spring and summer - sometimes additional masturbation could solve anxious/obsessive thoughts about previous masturbation mistakes (basically clear my head) - so may be my body has developed some form of protective mechanism: that when i enter this anxious state related to masturbation (more like something went not the way main routine/belief makes it to supposedly be) - it just makes me to masturbate more to relief current anxiety since it instinctively thinks based on past experience. This might lead to the compulsive masturbation that was essentially forming the root of everything that happened after edging on Friday - basically Saturday morning, Sunday afternoon and night, this week Monday morning and noon.


Now regarding the first half of anxiety - when i couldn't hold myself before doing it at 9,45 instead of as scheduled at 10; doing it at 6,30 instead of as scheduled at 7 and doing edging after violating the scheduled thing of 7 (basically doing it like 1.5 times) - i just try to accept that i made a mistake, that i thought i solved my anxieties and could manage my timing but really couldn't - this just makes me temporarily stop the anxiety - but mostly cause i just try to explain myself what happened - but then it comes back - basically in 5-10 min.


I am anxious basically everyday for the last month - like i don't want to do any work, i lost self-esteem, i feel not confident when doing things, i am scared of the future. Last night i got so anxious that I had a panic attack where i was basically almost punching my head and blaming myself for being so stupid, disorganized, lacking self-control - i was feeling everything is lost.


It is also the case that it is some general anxiety that just moves from one trigger to another:


1) pre-cum with ability to patch anxiety using wet dream in high school


2) wet dream during the day after being aroused in college


3) pre-cum without ability to use wet dream as a tool to forget the anxiety


4) anxiety for starting to masturbate and doing it twice/several days in a row last spring


5) anxiety for not being able to abstain from masturbating late spring and early summer last year


6) anxiety for doing it twice several days in a row last summer and this winter


7) anxiety for doing it earlier than scheduled (if there is less than 22-24 hours in between or it's earlier than 10 pm, once it was cause i made it at 3 am - but that anxiety was mild one - like it went away after a day or so)



I don't know why some anxieties disappear and how new ones appear and what makes me to subconsciously decide what can be new anxiety and what can't, and why things that were anxieties previously are no longer anxieties.


It is also interesting that in all of these 7 cases my inside anxious feeling are exactly the same (extremely mentally debilitating) despite that triggers are different. But overall feeling is what I described above.

I would then hold to the schedule for some time but then eventually fail and do it out of schedule and twice a day again.

It's like going from one anxiety to another.

I can't wake up due to it and just generally can't enjoy my life.

Everything's going to be alright man, trust me. Remember, these things happen to everybody. It's natural to have sexual feelings and desires. We wouldn't be MEN if we didn't !! Just don't worry about anything, I mean if you feel like mb then mb. No big deal.