Eleazar's WD Journal

[hardwood]

WOW - yet another one for you!! Guess it helps alot with the AB!!

Congrates on the WD.

[Overload]

Congratulations!!!

[toplevel]

You obtained another WD after only 6 days. It is really awesome! Congratulations on your WD!

[Eleazar]

DAY 237 and 11 of AB from MB and porn

PM: end of day

Thanks, guys.

I've been horny these past couple of days borne out of excitement for certain prospects and anxiety for some things that have to come to an end. I've been researching some "safe" topics that are like diamonds in the rough among all the filth on the Net. I have not broken by porn AB though although I've come pretty close - hence the filth.

I'm not a precummer but I've got it so bad that I've been precumming the whole day. And my penis is sore from all the erections I had today. I hope I get a WD tonight.

[Overload]

Good luck bro! May the WD fairy be with you

[Eleazar]

Thanx Overload. The WD didn't come but the horniness did abate. It's still there but not as aggressive as before.

Today, which is coming to an end, is Day 240 and 14 of AB from mb and porn.

[Eleazar]

DAY 243 and 03 of AB from mb and porn

Morning

I had a WD on Saturday morning (Day 241 and 0) and one again this morning. No dream accompanied Saturday's one while this morning's dream was akin to a nightmare. The dream was so vivid that I thought that I had really did some hands-free mb, but of course I didn't. The load I shot on Saturday was huge and today's one's load was moderate. In both instances I couldn't go back to sleep.

Porn AB-wise, I'm on cycle no. 5 day 03 now.

[hardwood]

HEY!! WOW man can't you share thoses around!!!

Two in a couple of days! Will done E.

[Overload]

Congratulations!

[toplevel]

Thanx Overload. The WD didn't come but the horniness did abate. It's still there but not as aggressive as before.

Today, which is coming to an end, is Day 240 and 14 of AB from mb and porn.

Congratulations on your recent 2 WDs! You really set a good example for most of us! Wish you good luck!

[Eleazar]

DAY 249 and 09 Of AB from MB and porn

AM

Thank you, hardwood, Overload and toplevel. It would be cool if it were possible, hardwood.

Had another WD last night with moderate load. I can't remember the dream that accompanied it.

[hardwood]

AH man

U are one WD machine latley E.

[Eleazar]

DAY 254 and 08 of AB from MB and Porn

AM
I came across porn in one of my internet searches and indulged just a little bit. So I reset my counter to 8 days ago.

So far, my MB AB is going well.

Other than that I don't have much to report.

[Eleazar]

DAY 256 and 10:c1 of AB from MB and Porn

PM: start
So far I've been incredibly ever since I truly started to abstain from porn. I've been unconsciously checking out every woman I see and wondering whether the guys I see are horny, like me - not that I want to do anything to or with them.

The horniness I'm experiencing now is much like the kind I experienced when I first started to AB from MB. And the fact that I haven't had a WD in 10 days doesn't help either. I also have a lot of responsibilities that I am attending to so I've not been on here for quite some time. My laptop is dead so I can't chat with ease or waste time on the laptop as I used - which is a very good thing. I'm also attending to my studies since I really want to finish this year.

Life's good. I just have to start sticking to an exercise programme. I never finished the 100 push ups programme I began late last year.

So yeah, life is happening and I'm glad that I'm not experiencing the slumps MB engenders since I need to be on my game for all the things I have to manage.

[Eleazar]

Day 258 and c1:12 of AB from MB and Porn

Early AM
I woke up from a WD about an hour ago. I shot a massive load getting some cum on the top sheet, bed sheet, and thighs. I can't remember the dream just the feeling that it was weird.

I'm glad I got one after so many days. Okay, this is going to sound really corney, but the realisation that each one might be my last one makes me appreciate them a lot more than I used to.

[Eleazar]

Day 272 and 06 of AB from MB and porn

AM
I had to reset my porn AB counter recently again after AB'ing for nearly 2 weeks. I am happy to report that I had a WD on Saturday morning. The dream itself was short. I dreamt that I was laying on my back on the couch when I took out my flaccid penis and let it rest on my jeans. Then I felt an orgasm build and came. The a good amount semen oozed out. I simultaneously became aware of the orgasm I was experiencing in real life, that I was not wearing jeans but was laying naked under my bedding. I couldn't go back to sleep because it was time to get up anyway.

It seems like I'm having a WD every two weeks now.

[Eleazar]

Day 274 and 08 of AB from MB and porn

AM
Last night I sleepjerked, but didn't cum, or near the point of no return. This I did because of all the MB talk I've been engaged in lately, which isn't a lot btw, and the fact that I overheard a telephone conversation on the train station yesterday between a woman (the one who was calling) and a guy (the recipient). She teased about being so close to a guy friend of his accusing him of being gay and that the two of them were jacking each other off. All of us who heard the conversation were laughing. So I think that these things influenced me subtly.

[Rey92]

HAHAHAHAHA I'd burst into laugh if I were you.

[Eleazar]

Lol Rey, I was. You couldn't help but to laugh.

[Eleazar]

(Don't know what it is today...)
Day 28x and 1y of AB from MB and porn

AM
I had WD last night. I didn't even know that I was having one until I fought my way through my dream and woke up. My hand pointed my upward point boner down so that semen trickled down the shaft onto my balls and dripped onto the blanket I was sleeping on. The load was moderate. I was still cumming when I woke up and it took me a while to go back to sleep.

On the AB front things are going well.

[Eleazar]

Day 295 and 02 of AB from MB and porn

AM
Had a WD last night. The ejaculation was explosive. I can't remember the dream but I was aware that I was going to cum in the dream and in real life. I was erect when I came. Soon after the first spurt I turned to lay on my left side. You can see from the pattern in the WD stain pic below how I continued to leak as my penis shrank. The pic was taken about 1 hour after ejaculation.

I've been reading massage stories in order to learn from other people's experiences in preparation for a full body massage I would be getting. Unfortunately, one of the stories turned erotic leading me to fail my 4 day porn AB. So now I am back at day 02 and horny.

[robbiel]

Awesome wet dream stain mate!!

[Eleazar]

Thanx, robbiel

[iroselyem]

Oh, jeez, I hope I don't stain up my sheets with my WD. I'm wearing two pairs of underwear to bed now to prevent that. :/

I'm glad you put a pen next to the stain to show the size of it, though. That seems like a good flow; I hope mine is as good.

Have a good flow!

[Eleazar]

Day 300 and 07 of AB from MB and porn

Morning
Thank you, iroselyem. I hope you will have a good flow too, buddy.

I had another WD last night accompanied by a dream. The dream was crazy. Too crazy to make much sense of it. I woke up just at the point of no return and splooged on my bed sheet and duvet. I didn't take a pic as I wanted to fall asleep asap. Let's just say that it's a good thing I sleep naked coz if I had worn clothes to bed I would've ended up sleepjerking.

Porn-wise things are going. Progress is being made every day.

[frankm]

So what's up with your porn addiction? You seem so strong at avoiding MB! What circumstances cause you to give in to the temptation of porn?

[Eleazar]

Day 310 and 17 of AB from MB and porn

Night
I had WD last night (Day 309 and 16) cumming all over myself.

Summary of my journey out of porn
To answer your question, frankm, I do have a problem. I am only in the beginning stages of fighting my porn addiction. The reason I say that is coz I also went through a yo-yo thing with my MB addiction initially. The kind of porn I watch and read has changed and is at the stage where most people wouldn't even consider calling it porn.

If you can remember, when I first came to WDF I had trouble controlling myself with Google Image searches. Now I rarely do image searches. I'm not so interested in human sexuality any more since most of my questions were answered and I just grew tired of searching the same stuff over and over again. I don't perform searches late at night anymore. And I don't read stories of people nude adventures (non-sexual and sexual) anymore. The same goes for pics.

I do tote the line between what is socially, and, to a certain degree, morally acceptable sometimes. But, so we learn, eh?

So yeah, I've come a long way but I'm not who I want to be yet. I've still got a long way to go.

My goal now is to AB for at least ninety days from nude stories and pics. May God give me strength to see this through.

The circumstances
It's more of a mental thing, frankm, in that I grow restless and start looking for some sort of rush to ease the Itch. It feels as if none of my usual activities will satisfy my "need". So I don't even attempt to ease the Itch with them. Then I end up looking at or reading porn or innocent nude stories. That's one circumstance. The other involves me searching the internet for answers to my questions dealing with certain insecurities and then seemingly out of nowhere I enter a site that contains explicit material or nude stories or pics. Most of the times it happens I exit the site immediately. But, if the browsing is accompanied by the Itch I linger and, sadly, enjoy...

The Itch defined
If the definition was not clearly expressed above, this is what I mean by "the Itch":
"a general, non-specific dissatisfaction and restlessness that pervades my psyche and internet browsing, brought on by a period of abstinence from stories involving nudity - sexual and non-sexual - and from nude pics - sexual and non-sexual - as well as reading material about human sexuality."

E

P.S. - I somehow took it for granted that my porn addiction will go away once my MB addiction is overcome.

[iroselyem]

Eleazar, I completely understand what you're going through. It seems like MB and porn go hand-in-hand with a lot of people, and I think it's not always a bad thing. The problem is when it's an obsession. But that's another topic. Good luck with it.

[crazynhyper]

Wow, congrats on that big WD!

[Eleazar]

Day 315 and 22 of AB from MB and porn

Morning
Thanks, buddy.

I had another WD last night. It was accompanied by a (public) bathroom dream in which I walked around the bathroom naked and peed at one of the urinals. It was more like a locker room though. I was the nude guy who acted like he owned the place in my dream. I woke up to find my hand pointing my penis down and thought it a strange dream. It was only when I extended my fingers and they scraped my testicles did I realise that it was a WD. I was still cumming when the realisation set it.

Porn-wise, things are going okay. I was really frustrated with the way things were going yesterday. And that frustration was translated into sexual frustration. I really wanted to look at porn, subconsciously, but consciously I was not going to jeopardise my porn AB. I have to find better ways of dealing with the upsets of life. Porn is not the answer. I prayed throughout the day asking God to show me a better and to help me avoid porn. I must admit that I did hang around the border of what is acceptable, but I didn't cross the line.