I will do it this time.

[determined11]

'thanks mbfree! you can do it too :-)

I found it easier if you keep yourself busy.


2 more days for 365 days MB-free!!! aka one YEAR!!!


I have never had sex before, I am thinking of getting a Masturbator toy as I really wanna try what real sex looks like. so I am thinking of making it a special anniversary.

Thoughts? have anyone tried those toys and can provide recommendations? or do are you guys against me breaking my AB?

[Xander]

That is fantastic Determined11! A whole year without masturbation or wet dream seems inconceivable to me right now. I doubt that I would have your stamina.

I can't really speak as to any masturbation enhancers, but have heard good things about fleshlights.

A year is a mighty long time, and personally, I think you should keep going. But you should do whatever feels right to you. Very few of us are in your position and you are the one who ultimately makes that decision. If masturbation seems like the right thing to do then you should do it.

Cheers mate.

[traveling guy]

determined11 -

I sure hope you make it one year abstaining. You will be in a select minority and are showing by example what is possible.

Good luck.

TG

[determined11]

thanks xander, 95% and TG!! I would't have done it without your support and encouragement! I honest owe a lot to this forum!


in 24 hours I will be 365 days, i.e. one year!!! excited!

[traveling guy]

on the home stretch for one year




TG

[determined11]

My one-year AB anneversary!

So I wrote a summary of my log in this topic: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=5363

Thanks to everyone who reads my log. You all made a big difference and were a big reason for me to continue during tough times.

[Rey92]

one year~ I can do it too!
One year.

[traveling guy]

determined11

Congratulations on one year anniversary!

Very impressive.

TG

[determined11]

Thanks 95%, rey92,TG for your comments and posts.

So yesterday I got a little bit excited. I didn't edge but I just was lying on bed excited. I didn't move or hump but was just thinking deeply about sex and retrieving all what deeply excited me in my life! it was cool, and I liked it. After 5-7 minutes, I starts to feel that a build up is in progress. My heart rate started to increase and I started to feel the build up of an orgasmic signal just about to move over all my body. I STOPPED thinking, and changed my position. It took another 5 minutes for me to cool down and for my heart rate to reach normal.

Point taken is that I was about to reset my counter but didn't.

Another point is that I can cause orgasm just by thinking now. Cool isn't it?

Third, the build up was just fantastic. I mean I have experienced that before after AB for 311 days before and then MBing. I was shivering form all over my body. I have never had that before. I remember at that time, it took me longer to orgasm like 10-15 minutes, and after 12 minutes, the build up started, the orgasm signal was moving all over my body, my heart rate went up like crazy and every single cell in my body was shivering in please and orgasm when I ejaculated. That process of build up until ejaculation took 2-4 minutes of insane pleasure. Once started, it was the point of no return.

Yesterday, I stopped before I reached that point. Also yesterday I was not edging, I was just thinking deeply. But in that incident above few years ago, I was humping the bed.

I am still AB and no edging! hey thinking is not edging and you gotta allow that since you can only reach that level if you AB that long.

Well, I am still not sure what is gonna happen next. But I want my first orgasm after AB to be in real sex. and to be super explosive. I want it to be memorable and as such I want it to be with my woman. I will try to persist and we will see. In the mean time, I will enjoy "thinking".

Guys, do you consider this cheating? I will try to avoid that as well not for a reason other than I might not be able to control myself in some occasions. Also while deeply thinking, you got a strong erection and my organ moves against clothes. so better safe than sorry.

[Rey92]

Probably one of the best feeling ever when I first tried erotic hypnosis. I almost came, like what you described, I had that feeling too. It was intense and I was nervous that time why did my heart pumping so hard and I feel something good down there.

[Texanguy]

Determined11, since you want your first orgasm after AB to be in real sex, I think exciting yourself to orgasm from just thought might be a letdown after it's over. Instead, you might try using that 'think off power' to go to sleep imagining having sex as someone who never MBs. Even if you don't actually dream of having sex the first, second, etc night, you can use that energy, plus the yearlong lack of MB habit, to engage in that fantasy and enjoy it. Imagine how good it will feel, but see yourself actually doing it. I think this is exactly what a lot of full time WDers do instead of MBing.

If you can get that first WD, you are in a perfect position to get a lot more. Use the energy and total lack of MB habit to have sex in WDs rather than 'thinking off'.

[determined11]

Probably one of the best feeling ever when I first tried erotic hypnosis. I almost came, like what you described, I had that feeling too. It was intense and I was nervous that time why did my heart pumping so hard and I feel something good down there.

great that I am the not the only one who experienced that

Determined11, since you want your first orgasm after AB to be in real sex, I think exciting yourself to orgasm from just thought might be a letdown after it's over. Instead, you might try using that 'think off power' to go to sleep imagining having sex as someone who never MBs. Even if you don't actually dream of having sex the first, second, etc night, you can use that energy, plus the yearlong lack of MB habit, to engage in that fantasy and enjoy it. Imagine how good it will feel, but see yourself actually doing it. I think this is exactly what a lot of full time WDers do instead of MBing.

If you can get that first WD, you are in a perfect position to get a lot more. Use the energy and total lack of MB habit to have sex in WDs rather than 'thinking off'.

Yes TexanGuy, I can see your point. It is just that unlike many members here, and as explained in my summary post, I didn't get a WD so the motivation to go further keeps getting thiner as time goes by. of course there are other benefits of AB that I Can see but still I really need a sexual outlet and I have not trained myself to find solace in just thinking. I get bored of it. I think I have to either tune off sex all together or just continue to suffer. The trick of "tricking" my mind to fake sex in my dreams didn't work with me thus far and I ended up tourturing myself.

I am still AB and as you said, it would be a letdown after that much AB to have less than an amazing experience when orgasming.

[determined11]

I had some sexual dreams for 2 days in a row. At one night, I dreamt of a girl I met (in the dream) a totally new girl that I have not seen before and she was pretty. We talked and she gave me her number, then I Suddenly switched topic in my dream and the last thing I remember was me changing position in bed (while dreaming) to avoid ejaculating. Then I wake up.

Yesterday, the dream was more intense, and I dreamt of my fav. actor doing one of my fav scene of her. And it was life and I was part of the scene. And when the scene went to the most interesting shot, which I was also part of, I got a facebook notification on my iphone and walk up. Damn it. I am sure I would have got a WD if the scene continued. And no it was not a porn movie!

Anyhow, I hope the sexual dream continues...

[determined11]

oh, and in the last few days I also continued to do those deep thinking sessions. It felt good but I was no where close to summon the feeling I had before which caused me to be about to reach the no-hands orgasm (but I stopped of course before reaching the no return point). I guess it is not novel anymore to my brain so no chance to orgasm on that and I am glad I won't orgasm on it as it will be a let down. But I noticed that I am getting tired these days, tired as in the sense you get when you edge. so I am stopping those things as well. Even though I Don't edge, as in I don't touch my organ, but still this is not natural stimulation so I am crossing it off from my life.

[Overload]

I'm having those unfinished WD's frequently these days. Unfortunately, last of them made me wanna MB, so I did. I hope you'll stay stronger than me and reach a WD.

Good luck!

[determined11]

I'm having those unfinished WD's frequently these days. Unfortunately, last of them made me wanna MB, so I did. I hope you'll stay stronger than me and reach a WD.

Good luck!

I like this term overload, unfinished WD's~ brilliant! I wonder when they will come complete?


nothing new... one year no edging by now!

[determined11]

Sick these days, but had the sexest dry dream in my life yesterday. I am sure that if I weren't sick, I would have had a WD from it. The problem is that I didn't felt excited during the dream and i only remembered it after I wake up. In normal sexual dreams (dry or not) I used to feel an excitement during the dream but for this one I didn't, I just remember the details. I remembered when I wake up that I had sex with the gril of my dream. But I don't remember that I felt that I have been having sex with her in the dream. It is confusing. For example when I dreamt that I was MBing, I felt my hand moving over my organ in the dream. Silly me... anyhow.. yet another day..

[nsx]

I reckon this time you are building up to a WD determined! I reckon you will make it within the next 60 days. Keep on going. As for me? I love using my thing with girls. In hindsight, I think I would've preferred to keep AB and have no sex. But I already exceeded my goal by a factor of 4, and with no guarantee of a WD, I wanted to return to the pleasure of female company. I reckon you have to keep on going till 500 days. Best of luck my friend.
nsx

[determined11]

I reckon this time you are building up to a WD determined! I reckon you will make it within the next 60 days. Keep on going. As for me? I love using my thing with girls. In hindsight, I think I would've preferred to keep AB and have no sex. But I already exceeded my goal by a factor of 4, and with no guarantee of a WD, I wanted to return to the pleasure of female company. I reckon you have to keep on going till 500 days. Best of luck my friend.
nsx

NSX !!!! long time no see body! we have gone a long way during the whole process my friend. Thanks for visiting. I hope you are accurate this time, previously you said I will need 300 days but yeah, I think I need to change my lifestyle a bit and work on my diet. that would help.

I have no problem with releasing, I am not AB for a WD, I am just against MB now. but if sex comes, here we go, I don't care for a WD really, I just need a release but not excessive stimulation via frequent MB and I know myself, one MB will lead to 100s so no no.

[determined11]

long time no post. I am still here guys. hope all is still AB. A few days shy of 14 months of AB and no release. Survived a two very very very strong attacks in the last month and half. Each of which resulted in a tons of pre-cums, and I mean tons literally. Still AB not sure for how long but I think I might break the record very soon unless a WD comes earlier.

[cristoff]

wow, determined11 you are an inspiration to everybody on here. i had no clue that some of you had gone so long in the AB phases of life for WD's or whatever your purpose.

it would be interesting to see what effect that had on your body as far as lab results in testosterone and all those types of things. i know they say the T-buzz wears out after so long and steadies, but i wonder if you would find anything interesting or unexpected. hmmmm just a thought

and really? after this whole time of AB for you and NO WD??? that's interesting in itself, what really is the cause of WD's here? that takes us a little bit farther down this sticky rabbit hole lol

anyways, YOU ARE A PRO determined11

[determined11]

wow, determined11 you are an inspiration to everybody on here. i had no clue that some of you had gone so long in the AB phases of life for WD's or whatever your purpose.

it would be interesting to see what effect that had on your body as far as lab results in testosterone and all those types of things. i know they say the T-buzz wears out after so long and steadies, but i wonder if you would find anything interesting or unexpected. hmmmm just a thought

and really? after this whole time of AB for you and NO WD??? that's interesting in itself, what really is the cause of WD's here? that takes us a little bit farther down this sticky rabbit hole lol

anyways, YOU ARE A PRO determined11

thanks Cristoff. I will get lab result soon but the most recent one was very healthy and no trace of semen in urine.

[determined11]

14 months.


seriously it is good but i don't feel pumped for any milestone anymore.

I survived again two strong attack this week. I think those attacks and my resistance to them is wearing me off. I have the same feeling that I had when I used to edge. not the mind-lucid feeling I used to have when I am ABing. so I am trying to get myself away from any erotica for a couple of weeks to recharge and see.

[determined11]

Feeling super tired now. Close to the feeling that I had when I pinged on MB. I have never expereinced that much strong tiresome feeling since I started AB. Maybe when I was mentally edging, looking at erotics, I used to get tried but not like now. I can not even now look at a girl or think about anything erotic.

I have been in constant state of excitement in the last month and half. Doing nothing other looking over dating sites, watching videos, and not focusing on work at all. My mind was all about sex and erotica. I wanted to have it that bad. I was controlled by my desires more than by my mind. I have been through 4 occasions that could have broken my AB but I resisted and each of which resulted in huge amount of precum. Those were spaced 3-4 weeks apart but 2 of them were in the last week and that why may be I got tired. I was planning to get a release this weekend but I was too tired to even get excited!!!! I feel pain during urination, excessive pain. I feel pain while getting hard. I am not even as hard as I used ot be when excited.

I am enforcing a 2 weeks period of no thinking about erotica, not going to online sites, not watching youtube videos, no staring at girls in the street, not even thinking about anything sexual. I will not even come here except to update my counters after 2 weeks.

[Eleazar]

Hi Determined

I think that u are making a wise decision. Your erotic activities are leaving u to feel so tired. A month and half is a long time for one's body to be in a constant state of arousal. Our bodies were not designed to be in that state for such a long period of time.

In a serious (married) relationship one also finds that kind of arousal for the first few years, but after a while the relationship starts to deteriorate as the bodies of the newly wed couple adjusts.

So taking a break is a good thing.
Do you know what (triggers) caused your binge(s)?

[determined11]

Hi Determined

I think that u are making a wise decision. Your erotic activities are leaving u to feel so tired. A month and half is a long time for one's body to be in a constant state of arousal. Our bodies were not designed to be in that state for such a long period of time.

In a serious (married) relationship one also finds that kind of arousal for the first few years, but after a while the relationship starts to deteriorate as the bodies of the newly wed couple adjusts.

So taking a break is a good thing.
Do you know what (triggers) caused your binge(s)?

Thanks Eleazar for the support.

What caused me to bing? well, sexual thoughts have been all over my mind since I remember I was a teen. I used to MB 2-4 times a day until I couldn't take it anymore and decided to AB. But what caused me to bing in general is discovering a new experience. For example, when I went to college I loved looking at girls in the gym and campus and that was a new experince to me to be close to that amount of girls. When I visit a new state, I bing on looking at the girls there who are different form what I used to see in my place. When I discovered
youtube and how to search for erotic videos there, I pinged on it until I couldn't find any new video that excited me. It is called novelty my friend. Your mind get excited with new experience that you have not been through before even if you are not in need of such excitement. There is something called the collidge effect, where your body needs some time before it gets excited again. That happens when no novelty is introduced. When you see a new girl, a new position in porn, you want more and you can get excited again immediately even though your body is not prepared for that. In an experiment, they applied this idea to rats, and the introduce a new female rat after he has sex with a previous one and he went for her immediately and they repeated the something until the rat died from tiresome (I could share the link form the website, your brain on porn) So recently I discovered a new sexual-thought stimulant and I have been pinging on it. It was new to me and now I get enough of it but it was quite a ride!!!!

[Eleazar]

LOL! determined



Novelty is a pucker, isn't it? I watched the your brain on porn video series a while ago. It was very enlightening, to say the least. So, besides novelty you weren't experiencing other triggers such as loneliness, anger, anxiety, stress, joy and normal horniness?

And thank you for the explanation it gave me some insight into some things in my life.

E

[determined11]

So, besides novelty you weren't experiencing other triggers such as loneliness, anger, anxiety, stress, joy and normal horniness?

I would say lack of spirituality that makes me an easy prey and easily controlled by my vain desires. Of course you can add loneliness, boredom,etc but you can fix those with many other hobbies and activities, it is really the lack of my spiritual depth that I am experiencing these days is the culprit. I need to work on that.

[determined11]

saw my doctor again and he said again that lack of release causes no danger what so ever to anything. He also check my testies and prostate and said everything sounds normal. I made a urine test and he said it was perfect as well. Regardless of what he said, I am still feeling worn out by my sexual thoughts. I will follow his advice regarding my health and eat healthy and excersize and see what will happen. But I am due for a release either manually or artificially soon

[Rey92]

Glad to hear that!