NearlyFifty's log

[NearlyFifty]

I came across this forum while looking for info on SE's, and it has made for a very interesting journey this past week. I will post details on the progress of this past week and ongoing progress as time permits over the next few days.

I'll begin with a bit of background: about 15 years ago, I resolved to stop MB, primarily for religious reasons but it was also becoming pretty routine. I AB for about 10 years: during this period I would have SE's while swimming (but not sure if that's completely accurate, as it was triggered by muscle usage while competing (in my own mind) with fellow swimmers. There was some edging during the last few of those 10 years, mainly using internet (soft core, mainly) for visual stimulation supplemented with friction or my hand.

About 5 years ago, during a stressful time of my life, I started MB again: I'd have period of AB for up to 3 months, but fall back into MB. There'd be edging in between, using both soft and hard core for stimulation. About 2 mos. ago, having broken a 3 mo. AB streak, I resolved to AB, but still had the occasional look at soft-core stuff on the net.

About a week ago, after about 2 mos. of AB, I lifted after cardio and felt a small discharge: not SE, not pure precum, probably a mixture of precum & pee. That led me to the internet search that led me to this forum.

That same evening, I woke up with major wood and soon the whole lower half of my body was flexing: it was an incredible sensation! They seemed to be involuntary, at least at the beginning, but it was hard totell if once awake I was encouraging them. Stayed hard, so I peed, went back to sleep, and it happened once more that night.

The next day, I was semi-hard most of the time and balls were tingly (pleasantly, not painful like blue balls).

The next evening and next day, the same things happened.

The next evening, same thing happened twice, with more intense muscle contractions through my whole body. Then, I had a WD for the first time in probably 35 years. It was incredible. The dreams was fairly confusing: I was on a bicycle in a race, and sped into a room in which a guy was hanging from the ceiling straining with his whole body. Soon, I was doing the same thing, and the WD came.

I never thought I'd have another WD in my life, but I think this forum kind of inspired me, so I wanted to join an tell my story.

For those who've been waiting a long time for a WD, believe me, guys, it is WORTH it!

[traveling guy]

NearlyFifty,

Welcome to forum and thanks for posting your experience. It is always good to see thta guys don't have to be young to have wet dreams. Now that your brain/body has figured out how to get a WD, I hope that you are able to get more.

You have a unique experience of going back and forth between abstaining and masturbating, for years at a time. As you reflect back what are the differences between the two experiences. I am thinking in particular how you and your body feel when masturbating long term vs. abstaining long term.

I have been able to abstain long enough to get some WD's but never stayed doing it long term.

TG

[bruceduncan]

Thank-you, NF! Your story is very encouraging!

-BD

[NearlyFifty]

Thanks for the welcome, TG & BD!

To update you on what has happened since the WD:

The WD I had was 5 nights ago, and I have been having the same experience each of the last 4 nights: I have been waking up before making it all the way to WD stage, but there is definitely something going on. Last night I think I was the closest to a WD I'd been since I had the full monty 5 nights ago. The following, one or the other, has been happening about 3 times each of the last 4 nights, usually within the first 2-3 hours after I go to sleep. In each case, enfortunately, I can't recall if I was dreaming before I awoke, but as I rarely remember my dreams so I'm not surprised by that.

1) Sometimes I wake up when I'm already hard, and the muscle tensing begins almost right away, usually just in the pelvic area, but sometimes all the way down my legs and occasionally my whole body. The pulsing erection and the muscle tension continue for about 10 minutes on average, it seems. As mentioned in a previous post, I'm not sure how much I am "participating" as I begin to wake up more, which may prolong the episode, but a few times I have tried to consciously stop it and it starts up again after what seems like a minute or so.

2) Other times I'm still soft when I wake up, but an erection starts almost immediately and happens much more quickly and to a much harder state than when I am awake. In looking through the forum since I joined, I saw Jamie's video, and it seems like what is happening to me at these times as I am waking up and awake is much like what he captured on video, though he was asleep the whole time. I think this because of the duration of these episodes, the (at least at first) involuntary muscle tensing & the intensity of the wood compared to one of my waking erections.

I remember reading in another post that WD's may have both a physical and emotional/psychological component. I wonder if, once the process starts for me, my body just continues the physical process even after waking up, but without completing the WD cuz waking disrupts the emotional/psych aspect. I'm not a scientist, but that's just a thought: what do you guys think who have been part of this forum for longer than I have?

NF

BTW, what's amazing to me is, the even losing a few hours of sleep each night to these episodes, I feel more energized than I have in years. ABing does have its advantages!

[NearlyFifty]

Well, it's been 2 more nights of the same thing: waking up twice each night followed by about 10 minutes of muscle tensing (at times my whole body) and pulsating erection before I can finally calm down and can get back to sleep:

The upside is that it is pleasurable in itself, though nothing approaching a WD.

The downside is that it is starting to have the same effect as edging does to me: the pleasurable tingle I have been having in my balls is replaced every once in a while by a dull ache (like really mild blue balls). I notice it especially on the side where I have a testicular cyst (I had it checked for CA, but it wasn't, thankfully).

But I'm encouraged: the final time I woke up last night I had a wet spot of precum on my briefs. So maybe I'm getting closer to my next WD. And I suppose I should be patient at my age, since the last one was only 7 days ago!

Even with the dull ache occasionally, though, I have no desire to MB to get rid of it. Right now I feel more energized than I have in years, and plan to continue to AB, hoping to get into the WD groove.

All the best,
NF

[aficionado]

Right now I feel more energized than I have in years, and plan to continue to AB, hoping to get into the WD groove.

NF

I notice an increase in energy now that I am back to AB as well.

[NearlyFifty]

That increase in energy continued today, even though last night I broke the pattern of the last 7: only once did I wake up, and as the cycle of pulsating and muscle tension was about to begin, I consciously (as much as I was as I was awaking) tried to stop it or at least not "participate" in it, and it stopped. I then slept through the night without waking up (but without a WD either ), but still energized.

We shall see what tonight brings!
NF

[aficionado]

That increase in energy continued today, even though last night I broke the pattern of the last 7: only once did I wake up, and as the cycle of pulsating and muscle tension was about to begin, I consciously (as much as I was as I was awaking) tried to stop it or at least not "participate" in it, and it stopped. I then slept through the night without waking up (but without a WD either ), but still energized.

We shall see what tonight brings!
NF

Keep posting, please. Since we are within a few years of one another in age, I'm really curious how your experiences with AB compare to mine.

[NearlyFifty]

Last night I returned to the pattern of the previous 7: but it only happened once that I woke up with the pulsating erection and whole body muscle tensing & relaxing, lasting for about 10 minutes as usual. As it calmed down, I got up and peed, and then slept through the whole rest of the night, waking up just once but falling right back to sleep with no pulsating and tensing.

When I woke up, I had morning wood, so I tried consciously to start the cycle of pulsating and tensing/relaxing to see how unconscious I might really have been during the previous nights. I was able to start the cycle, yet it still didn't feel completely under my control. I felt very energetic all day, and then even during the day a few times, my muscles started to tense up and I felt a bit of pulsating just as at night, but with no strong erection.

I wonder if I'm just thinking too hard about this, hoping to get into the WD cycle: maybe I just need to relax and let it happen. After all, my first WD in 35 yrs. just happened 8 nights ago without my thinking about it!

Stay strong all you ABers,
NF

[aficionado]

I wonder if I'm just thinking too hard about this, hoping to get into the WD cycle: maybe I just need to relax and let it happen. After all, my first WD in 35 yrs. just happened 8 nights ago without my thinking about it!
NF

My experience is that ALL my WDs came when I wasn't really expecting them. The first one I had after joining this site occurred after a failed attempt at AB. I can't remember how long I abstained before I failed but it was a decent number of days without any WD and for some reason I was thinking I'd probably have to abstain at least another 40 days again before I could expect a WD. So when the WD came just 10 days after I started AB again, it took me by surprise. The second of the two occurred after joining the site but when I wasn't actively participating and wasn't really thinking about WDs.

[NearlyFifty]

Last night was a variation on a theme: I woke up again with the pulsating erection, but this time it subsided pretty quickly but before I could fall back to sleep my balls started tingling, with a feeling almost like fluid was moving in them. It lasted what seemed like a bit less than the 10 minutes the usual pulsating and tensing/relaxing does, but it was really a pleasant feeling the whole time. I fell back asleep, and slept pretty soundly through the whole rest of the night. But no fluid moved anywhere during that sleep: neither an SE nor a WD

After last night, I had no blue ball like pain today like I had yesterday, just the occasional tingling, and not very horny either, though energy level remained high.

I think I just need to get used to being surprised at what my body does during a given night's sleep!

Stay strong ABers,
NF

[Ronald]

Welcome and congrats on your WD! I'm the same age as you, and I enjoy still getting them too. Keep up the good work!

[NearlyFifty]

Last night was pretty much a repeat of my now familiar pattern of waking a few times in the midst of or followed by a pulsating erection and whole body muscle tensing & relaxing during my first 2 hours after going to bed. During the day today, no pain and just a bit of tingling in my balls and not very horny. Energy continues high.
What was new last night was that, after I finally settled into sleep for about four hours, I woke again with the pattern starting, but as I woke up more I had vague memories of bits of an erotic dream (I usually don't remember my dreams well). I don't know if that's a sign that I'm getting closer to a WD, but I won't know until after tonight!

Stay strong, ABers!
NF

[NearlyFifty]

Yeah, 95, I love the extra energy! I feel great, even with my first few hours of sleep being disturbed a few times last night, as almost every other night the past 2 weeks, by my now familiar (yet not entirely unpleasant) pattern of waking, pulsating erection, muscle tensing & relaxing. But no WD or even memory of an erotic dream last night

Thankfully, I've had really no temptation to MB for the last few weeks of ABing, but I've stayed away from porn & edging that whole time, too, which I think helps me alot. But, I'm getting a bit impatient for the next WD. Like in a 12-step program, I just gotta take it one night at a time--NF

[Homenudey]

Hi NF,

I just remembered after reading your last post. Back in the day when I used to sleep during the day (clothed), I would often wake up with a WD. When I sleep during the day I usually sleep on my stomach. Maybe you should try that. I don't sleep during the day anymore 'cause I find it hard to fall asleep at night if I do.

Keep on going!

[NearlyFifty]

Homenudey, thanks for the support and the hint about sleeping on my stomach: I sleep on my side, although I move around alot so may end up on my stomach every once in a while during the night, but probably not too often as I always seem to be on my side when I wake up in the morning (or during the night as happens as one ages, ahem). I've tried falling back to sleep on my stomach as my (now nightly ) waking time of pulsating and tensing/relaxing starts to subside, and one thing I did notice is that I get the tingling in my balls most intensely while I am on my stomach. So maybe my body is telling me something!

Last night I only woke once for my nightly "ballet", and slept really soundly after: don't remember any dreams at all, though. Energy still high today, horniness fairly low.

Stay strong, everyone!
--NF

[NearlyFifty]

Last night was an almost exact repeat of the previous: I only woke once for my nightly "ballet", and when going to pee after I fully awoke saw just one tiny wet spot of precum. Fell back asleep on my stomach, but no difference from previous night: I slept really soundly & don't remember any dreams at all.

Energy still high today, horniness a bit higher, tingling & occasional slight pain in balls. I'm going on vacation for a few days tomorrow, so I'd really like to have a WD tonight to empty out. But, I haven't figure out a way to "schedule" a WD. But I have no plans or even desire to MB just to empty out: I'm saving up for the next WD!

Stay strong, everyone!
--NF

[aficionado]

Last night was an almost exact repeat of the previous: I only woke once for my nightly "ballet", and when going to pee after I fully awoke saw just one tiny wet spot of precum. Fell back asleep on my stomach, but no difference from previous night: I slept really soundly & don't remember any dreams at all.

Energy still high today, horniness a bit higher, tingling & occasional slight pain in balls. I'm going on vacation for a few days tomorrow, so I'd really like to have a WD tonight to empty out. But, I haven't figure out a way to "schedule" a WD. But I have no plans or even desire to MB just to empty out: I'm saving up for the next WD!

Stay strong, everyone!
--NF

"Saving up" here as well. It's been over two weeks and I really feel like I need a release but MB isn't an option so I hope to get a WD soon. Hope you do too!

[NearlyFifty]

Not much to update before I leave for a short vacation: yet another repeat of waking up to the "ballet" of what seems to be dry orgasm a few times, followed by restful sleep. Did have a bit of an SE (though not totally "spontaneous") yesterday afternoon: after initial stream of pee stopped, I popped a semi which I let throb for a few minutes, and when finished peeing noticed just a few tiny strands of what I figure must have been semen. So I guess I "emptied out" a bit before vacation, just not as much as I was hoping to nor having the WD I was hoping would do it.

This journey seems to bring something new all the time

Stay strong, ABers!
--NF

[NearlyFifty]

Just returned from 5 nights away on vacation late last night. Not much to report from those 5 nights: woke up a few times with wood, but very little of the full body tensing and relaxing (which may be the same thing that many people refer to as a "dry orgasm", but I'm not sure if it is the same). I suppose sharing a room with my widowed older brother probably informed even my subconscious to take it easy

Last night, back home tho, I had one of the most intense of these "dry orgasm" episodes in my semi-waking to waking state that I remember since this all began with that WD 3 wks ago: almost as if my body was "saving up" all that sexual energy it held back for 5 nights. But, sadly, no WD last night or even the recollection of an erotic dream; still with less than 6 hrs of sleep, my body may not have had time to have a WD!

Tonight I'm going to try and turn in earlier; it's simple logic: I can't have a WD if I can't dream, and I can't dream if I'm not asleep.

Stay strong, everyone!
--NF

[NearlyFifty]

Last 2 nights have settled down: only woke once with the pulsating erection and "dry orgasm" each night, and last night's just began and never really got fully started. Not really horny during the day, but do have the occasional semi and tingling balls, so I'm not completely dead, sexually

Not sure whether this is good or not: maybe by not having the "dry orgasms" I'll be able to get more deep sleep (in fact, I do have vague memories of a dream last night, but so vague not sure if it was erotic or not). This is all far from an exact science, but it sure has been an interesting journey this last month!

Take care everyone & stay strong
--NF

[NearlyFifty]

Well, last night was a bit more lively: no WD but the most intense dry orgasm I've had yet in these past 4 weeks. I thought for sure I would shoot at some point. It was so intense, my whole body was shuddering for what must have been a minute. Rather pleasureable, but in the end, not even a drop of precum.

Every night seems to bring a new experience: hopefully one night will bring WD #2.
--NF

[NearlyFifty]

p.s. Ever hear of a restaurant called Nifty Fifties? That's what I think about whenever I see your screen name.

Never heard of it, but thanks for the idea for what I can call myself in a few months: NiftyFifty

Last night not much different from the night before: another just as intense dry orgasm, but this time I noticed a bit of precum. Not sure what that means: I think I should just stop trying to second guess and enjoy what's happening (which I have been), without worrying about its effect on the timing of my next WD.

But, of course, 2nite wouldn't be too soon

Take good care of yourselves, everyone
--NF

[NearlyFifty]

Three nights in a row of the same thing: AARGH!! I think I actually strained a muscle in my back last night!

What's new, unfortunately, is horniness level, building over last 3 days, is super high today, which is both a blessing (rather enjoyable and energy-giving) and a curse (I just wanna give in to it and MB). But, WDF reminds me that many others have a similar and maybe even more difficult struggle and are staying strong, and that gives me strength to hold out for the WD.

Thanks, all, & take good care of yourselves
--NF

[NearlyFifty]

Sadly, not really anything significant new to report: another 2 nights of yet the same pattern, but there are a few small changes. Not even sure if it's worth updating my log, but here goes:

The dry orgasms are down to one per night, waking me up within the first hour of sleep, but after then I am sleeping more soundly and even remembering snippets of dreams: nothing I remember was WD-type material, but I'm hoping this change means my the physical and conscious is leaving some room for the subconsious.

Horniness level has gone down some over the last two days, so little or no temptation to MB and break my AB. But I am getting a bit impatient for that next WD: a dry orgasm, while physically somewhat pleasant, doesn't compare at all to the "full meal deal" of a WD.

Take good care of yourselves, everyone
--NF

[bruceduncan]

Hi NF, don't give up the fight yet, your elusive WD could happen any day! Embrace the different feelings while you wait, and I'm sure you'll be rewarded again soon. This is from another 'just-over-fifty-ish' abstainer (waiting patiently).

[NearlyFifty]

Thanks for the encouragement, bd!

The last 2 nights have settled down: no waking to the beginnings of a dry orgasm, deeper sleep, and more dreaming, that I remember, than I had during the last few weeks. I'll be away from home for a few days starting tonight, so maybe the change of scene will have an effect on me.

It's hard not to get discouraged that the one WD I recently had may not be repeated, but I try to keep reminding myself that it was 2 months between the beginning of that AB period and that WD, and for 3 decades before that much longer periods of AB hadn't produced a WD.

I sure hope the next one comes within a month or two (if not sooner) and not a decade or two
--NF

[NearlyFifty]

Just back from a few days away, and the change of scenery didn't change my nightly pattern much at all: a few of the nights I again had a dry orgasm as I was waking in my first few hours of sleep, and one morning I woke up with a spot of precum on my briefs. But, sadly, no WD. Although, once back to sleep, I did have a number of vivid dreams, albeit non-sexual ones, which I take as a sign that I was getting the deep sleep needed for a WD: I hope this continues now that I am back at home.

One new experience these past few days was during the daytime. I had a conversation with someone after which I felt the horniest I remember in a long time: it was really intense and kind of enjoyable but at the same time stressful almost. Luckily, I was traveling in the car on the highway at the time it hit, so I was calmed down by the time I arrived at my destination, and so wasn't tempted to act on it by MB.

This last few months of ABing regularly seems to bring about new surprises for me, which is rather enjoyable. But, what I'd really like to be surprised with soon is another WD

All in good time
--NF

[determined11]

hope you will be surprised with a WD very soon NF! you deserve it! Keep strong!

[NearlyFifty]

hope you will be surprised with a WD very soon NF! you deserve it! Keep strong!

Thanks for the words of support, d11! While I was not surprised by a WD last night, something did happen, as evidenced by the dried stain in my briefs this morning. I think it was probably just precum leakage, as it didn't have the crustiness of a semen stain, but the stain was about as big across as a golf ball: much more than the normal amount of precum I produce. It is a mystery to me.

I began the night by having a dry orgasm before I even got to sleep, and then was awakened a few hours later as another dry orgasm was beginning. So, either that second one wasn't completely dry or something else happened that led to the precum leakage, though I don't remember any erotic dreams last night. The surprises just continue!
--NF