|
Hi guys,
Decided to join here because I have had an addiction to PMO, although I did not realize it. I have gone days without PMO before and always set little mini goals for myself, but this will be the first time that I am trying to go an extended amount of time. Recently I have been having trouble performing sexually with partners, not getting aroused and ultimately not being able to perform. It has been a hit to my ego and has sparked an interest in abstaining from PMO and possibly sex (still TBD) and it would be nice to experience a WD as I haven't had one from what I can recall. At least in my upward teen years. In addition, I always get soft when putting a condom on, so hopefully doing this will fix my ED, or else its performance anxiety (which I hope its not) or there is a problem I have to get checked out...
Main goals include:
- Curing ED!
o Has to do with Performance Anxiety?
o Porn induced ED?
o Physiologically?
o Guess we will find out
- Stop wasting so much time
o Go play guitar, hang with friends, and study more!
- WORK OUT!
o Major goal is to get fit. And I mean really fit, every day running or resistance exercise NO EXCUSES
- Interested to see if I get increased energy/happier moods as people have said
- Interested to see if I can achieve wet dreams, or at least wake up with erections consistently
- Hopefully it will have an effect on how sex feels
- Apparently supposed to have an impact on confidence levels
o Increases testosterone by 45% in first seven days
o Then goes into a ‘flat line’ stage
o Increased testosterone = BODY BUILDING yeeee
- Also to change a lifestyle habit and eat healthy
o Pack lunches, make healthy dinners, buy appropriate groceries
o NO CHEAT DAYS
- Overall:
o Goal is to increase sexual performance with an improvement in lifestyle choices to improve grades, social interactions and body image and as a result, self-efficacy and worth.
Day 2
Already finding it hard not to go to my room and PMO. Been sitting in the living room to avoid the trigger of my chair and desk (classical conditioning). However, have already been on some sites like POF to look at people, just out of daily habit. Have to get used to not logging onto these sites, but have a feeling that this will increase the more I refrain from PMO.
I am feeling frustrated already. I never thought that I had a problem when it came to PMO, but looking back over the years it has taken me away from school, family etc. I do not think I am at some extremes other people are at, but the fact that real sex cannot get me hard when I am 20 years old has really affected my ego. Frankly scared me to be honest. The fact that I have been having trouble getting hard with people has started to affect me mentally. Just thinking of Alex coming over tonight, it is probably going to lead to some sort of sex and when this happens my mind starts racing:
- All I think about during sex is getting hard
- As a result, I DON’T get hard because I am not experiencing the pleasures, more so just worried about performing
Even just writing this, thoughts of googling P has crossed my mind multiple times. This is going to be a really long journey. My goal is to make it to the New Year without PMO on my own with or without P. After that, I’m not sure – I was just going to say I would allow myself to MO but just thinking of that at this moment I know that it will be really easy to go back into the downward spiral. Small steps, but I know P has really affected me.
I am kind of excited to feel horny all the time and to have the testosterone boost people have been talking about. I am really excited to wake up with boners and hopefully to experience a wet dream. I can picture it already, me finally feeling like a typical 20 year old that gets hard at the thought of a warm donut. This is honestly going to be a very long process, but I ultimately believe that at the end of it I will have accomplished some of my goals laid out in the first post and hopefully have new habits, new lifestyle, and new hobbies to occupy my time.
Already touching myself in the shower is turning me on. My dick is already thicker and heavier and larger when soft. This is going to drive me crazy…
Just a thought – am I horny/is my libido high right now or am I just craving the dopamine kick that I usually receive on a daily basis?
Day 3
No urge to M today, just really down and frustrated right now. Alex and I kind of had sex today but as soon as the condom went on, flop of course. So. Fucking. Frustrating. Just overall a really shitty day, but I don’t think it has anything to do with non-PMOing. But I might be wrong and it might have everything to do with it. Who knows.
Just want to MO to relieve the stress and tension I feel inside my body (has become a habit of stress release vs. pleasure for me i think over the years). Went for a 45 minute run today and honestly just sitting here it is so tempted to just whip it out, must not give in its only day 3 come on…. Xmas break is going to be really tough.
Day 4
So I woke up today and went to go study and sat at the couch and just randomly got a boner. YAY ME. Was so tempted to M, but not as tempted as I thought I would be. Honestly thought that I would cave by now, which is pretty pathetic seeing as it’s only been 4 days. Then on the bus today I started getting a small semi, which honestly hasn’t happened since I was a kid. Pretty proud of myself already but I know the road is just going to get harder (pun intended).
|
Login
Register
FAQ
So frustrated I can't even go 4 days, just shows how much willpower I don't have and how much this controls my life..