Wet Dream Forum

Hello everyone,

I'm 24 years old and just discovered this site pretty recently. I started watching porn before I ever even had my first ejaculation(I just enjoyed it, even without the physical stimulation). I've been watching it pretty much my whole life. As crazy as it sounds, I didn't think this was such a big deal until about 6 months ago. Then I stumbled onto yourbrainonporn.com and have been reading everything I could about porn addiction. I realize how screwed up it's made my sex life. I've never had a wet dream, or a morning erection upon waking(really sad, I know). I'm determined to change both, and start fresh(especially since everyone has said how great a wet dream feels). I've attempted to quit porn, and recently reached 44 days without it, though, I did masturbate occasionally during that time period. I've gone a few weeks without masturbating before and noticed several important changes in mood, energy and voice tone. I know for a fact it has harmed my life. In addition, I've read that abstaining can thicken your hair. I've noticed that my hair has gotten thinner over the last few years, so it's time to figure out if it's genetic or self-induced by my lifestyle. As of now, still no wet dreams, or morning wood to date. I've stumbled a bit over the last few weeks, but this time I won't give in, and am starting new. I decided to post my journal/log here in the hope that it will encourage me to abstain since my results will be available for people to read here. Here is where I'm at as of this moment in time.

Day 3 Porn Free/Day 0 masturbation

Wet dreams(0), Morning wood(0) Spontaneous Ejaculation(0)

I masturbated yesterday out of choice not out of craving. In the past I tried to quit both porn and masturbation cold turkey. What would happen is around day 6 or 7 the cravings for porn would be so intense that I would stumble and look at porn. Since I believe porn to be the number 1 enemy here(though masturbation is no friend to say the least) I care more about abstaining from porn right now than masturbation. I knew that if I masturbated last night the cravings for porn today would not be nearly as intense as if I didn't masturbate at all. This is true today, as even though I've had cravings for porn, I know I won't give in today. I honestly can't say the same thing if I didn't masturbate last night. However, since I'm past the initial few days of porn, it's time to abstain from masturbation completely. I don't know if porn has done irreversible damage to my sex drive, and I'm forever unable to get a morning erection or wet dream. We shall see going forward.

Best of luck on your journey going forward! Keep us updated! We'll be here for support.

_________________
Days Without Masturbation: 13
As of: 6/17/2014
Total Number of WDs: 0

Day 4 Porn Free/Day 1 No Masturbation

Wet Dreams(0) Morning Wood(0) Spontaneous Ejaculation(0)

I'm feeling better today than yesterday. Yesterday, I felt sluggish and fatigued all day. I've read a lot of accounts which suggest that masturbation can leave a man with a hangover of sorts. It certainly has felt that way to me over the years. I read yesterday that some people consider edging worse than actually masturbating. One poster went as far as to say that 60 days of no ejaculation, but edging throughout is equivalent to 10 days of no masturbation and no edging. I don't know about that, however I do know that in the past when I've tried to abstain from masturbation I've edged quite frequently. This might help to explain my lack of progress. I've decided this time, when I try to abstain from both porn and masturbation I'm going to try and block ALL sexual thoughts, and most importantly no touching of the penis other than bathing. I hope that this will help accelerate the healing. We shall see.

Day 5 Porn Free/Day 2 no Masturbation

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

I feel more tired today than yesterday. I've had a splitting headache the last couple of days, which I believe is a symptom of porn withdrawal. Thankfully, it's gone today. Speaking of withdrawal symptoms, I'm fairly certain I'm in a flat-line right now, as I have ZERO libido. This really doesn't bother me so much at the present moment to be perfectly honest, because it makes abstaining a million times easier. I mentioned yesterday how I'm determined not to edge or think sexual thoughts. I've been great at this so far, but like I said, could be due to the flat-line. Either way, so far so good on that.

I've decided I'm going to start eating healthier than I have been. In addition, I'm going to start exercising roughly 4-5 times a week. Not only do I want to get in better shape, but I need something to occupy my time, which was previously filled with porn use. If I don't fill the time with something constructive, I worry it will lead me back to porn since my brain and body are so accustomed by now to use that time for porn. I need to stay busy. I think that's a big key to success.

Day 6 Porn Free/Day 3 no masturbation

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

My flat-line lasted exactly one day. Today has been very difficult for me to resist the urge to look at porn, which isn't a shock to me in all honesty. As I mentioned in the original post, I've tried to break free from porn before, and day 6 is usually a very difficult day. A day in which I've stumbled quite frequently before. The reason why I believe day 6 is such a hard day is because the initial withdrawal symptoms have faded. I'm no longer exhausted in the morning, and my headaches have stopped. My body has come down from the dopamine high, recovered, and now it wants another fix.

I'm still doing well on the no edging however. Haven't edged once since I started my no masturbation streak(granted it's only been 3 days). It's really the porn I'm addicted to I think, and not the masturbation.

Good story bros !!! Keep going

Day 0 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

I caved yesterday, but I'm determined to make it the last time. I had a stash of porn on my computer of over 100 GBs, that I've had trouble parting with. So much trouble in fact, that I've kept it over the months even though I'm trying to quit PMO(out of sight mind you, but still on the computer). I'd always tell myself, "after 90 days, if no PMO doesn't make life a lot better, this will be waiting for me". I know it doesn't make sense. It's like a heroin addict keeping stashes of heroin while they're trying to recover. Well, last night after I relapsed I deleted ALL of it. It was very difficult for me to do, because I have an emotional attachment to it. I read a post yesterday which summed it up perfectly. A mans porn collection is like his harem. You spend weeks, months and even years collecting it. Finding the most beautiful women, the best scenes, etc. Getting rid of it is like saying goodbye to hundreds of beautiful naked women that you've built up feelings for. I'm sure I'll regret it once the urges to look at porn come back again, but if I truly am serious about this, which I am, it's the necessary thing to do. There is no going back now.

Speaking of my relapse last night, one thing that has always intrigued me about PMO is that when you ejaculate to porn vs ejaculating to your imagination the orgasm is never near as good. I'll never understand why that is. I ejaculated a few times last night, and you'd think the 1st orgasm would have been the best, but actually it was the 3rd orgasm(no porn, just imagination) which crushed the first two. I noticed this especially during my 44 days porn free streak when I'd occasionally masturbate the orgasms were ridiculous compared to the ones that I had when watching porn. I know this consciously, yet my brain still wants porn. If that doesn't prove it's an addiction which is centered around chemicals in your brain and not physical feelings, I don't know what does.

I changed my counter from "Porn Free/Masturbation Free" to just "PMO". This is a reflection of my change of attitude. I used to think if no masturbation gets really difficult, and I can't fall asleep, I'll just give in. No more. I don't care if I have to physically handcuff myself. I'm not giving in this time, no porn, no masturbation, NO MATTER WHAT.

PS I appreciate all the comments and well wishes I've received from you guys. It means a lot to me.

Day 1 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

Feeling very tired and irritable today. It's weird how after I masturbate my eyes feel especially tired the next few days. I didn't really notice it until I abstained from masturbating for 17 days(my longest ABing streak ever). During this streak around day 13-14 my eyes started to feel lively and energetic every morning. It's a hard feeling to describe. They also got brighter, which is something that I've read from various other nofap journals. It makes me wonder if someone were to quit masturbating for a few months, would their eyes look different? I'll have to find that out for myself. No urge to look at porn or masturbate as of yet(although I know it's right around the corner). Still no regrets about deleting my porn stash(that's how I know the urges aren't particularly strong). I did feel a little sadness thinking about never seeing some of those videos again.

I had a weird dream last night which I believe has a sexual meaning behind it. I dreamt of a big rattlesnake hovering around me, and eventually biting me. I believe the rattlesnake represents my sex drive, and the dangers of not controlling it. My interpretation anyway.

Day 2 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

I'm less tired today, but still fatigued. The good news however, is that I know firsthand the fatigue will wear off in a few days. No urge at this point to look at porn or masturbate. Although there is one minor change up to this point, and that is that I'm starting to feel heat in my balls. It's a weird feeling, and what's stranger is that it usually doesn't manifest itself until 6-8 days into the streak. Not sure why it's arrived so early this time. Might be because I haven't been edging, which interestingly enough would add credence to that one poster that suggested that edging really harms your progress when you're trying to quit PMO. I've also really been trying hard to avoid gawking at women in the street and at work the last few days. In the past whenever I'd see a pretty women I'd look at her, and my mind would wander, and sometimes stay there for long periods of time. Now however, I don't even want to think about it, because I'd know it be torturous when trying to abstain. As long as I'm abstaining and trying to heal, I'm going to try and be like a sexless being. I think this will allow the body and mind to heal faster. Frankly, it looks like it's working as the heat in the balls feeling doesn't usually arrive this quickly into a streak.

Day 3 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

Today hasn't been challenging whatsoever. Actually, come to think of it, the streak hasn't really been in any danger since I started over. I haven't had one erection, however, that's because I haven't allowed myself to entertain sexual thoughts this time around. I wonder if I continue to avoid sexual thoughts if this will continue to be easy? I've noticed when I'm watching TV an increased attraction to the various female characters in the shows. Some of the women are so good looking it fills me with a state of arousal, and therefore forces me to think of something else ASAP. It makes me wonder when I get further in this streak am I going to have to stop watching TV, or at least shows with attractive women? It might sound kind of crazy, but if I'm feeling a strong attraction to characters on TV shows this early in the streak, how am I going to be feeling on day 75? This is something I'll continue to monitor and evaluate moving forward.

Day 4 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

This has easily been the worst day for me recently. Feeling completely and utterly exhausted. No energy or motivation to do anything. Still easy for me to keep sex drive at bay, and I'm in no danger of relapsing, but I almost wish I was. That's a better feeling than this. At least then I have energy and motivation. Now I have neither. Almost feel like a zombie.

Day 5 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

I can't tell you how much better I'm feeling today, it's pretty incredible actually. It's almost like someone switched on a happy switch in my brain, whereas before it was set to, "unhappy". I'm still feeling lethargic, but it's not to the level of yesterday where I just wanted to stay in bed all day. In addition, I've been feeling pretty irritable these last few weeks as I've tried to break free from porn. I thought I was doing a good job of hiding it, but it turns out that's not the case at all. Yesterday as I was walking a little girl looked at me and immediately turned to her mother and said, "Mommy why does that man look so angry?". I guess it's been pretty visible after all.

Still no strong urges to look at porn or masturbate. I haven't edged once since I started this streak, nor have I had an erection either. I've been doing very good at not allowing myself to think sexual thoughts as whenever something sexual pops into my head I immediately think of something else and don't allow my body to get worked up. However, since I'm feeling pretty good today, it's my guess that within the next few days the urges are going to come back strong. That's usually the way it has worked with me in the past.

I've noticed a physical withdrawal symptom recently and that is decrease in the size of my penis when flaccid(don't know if it's shrunken when erect, since I haven't had one recently). It's a good thing I know that

a. it's a common symptom experienced by men who stop looking at porn

and

b. It will return to normal size(at the very least) soon(heard reports of it actually growing in size once the DHT levels in your brain normalize)

If I didn't know that I might be feeling like I have to relapse to make it come alive again, as it would be a very frightening experience if I didn't know what was going on.

Day 6 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

I've arrived at the dreaded day six. This is a day that I've relapsed at many times in the past, but not today. It's almost noon here and I haven't been tempted once to look at porn or masturbate. I'm not feeling as good today as yesterday(part of that is personal reasons), but I'll continue to press on. As I said when I started this streak, I'm not giving in this time. My body seems to be responding well to my minds commands, as I haven't felt out of control states of arousal since I started thinking this way at day 0. Maybe I've been severely underestimating willpower.

As far as symptoms go, still feeling fatigued, but not as bad as before. Furthermore, the tired eyes feeling I talked about earlier is significantly lessened now. Should be interesting to see how things progress further from here. I don't think I'm going to notice any "major" changes until I reach 10-14 days. At least, that's my guess.

Day 7 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

My balls feel full today, which directly coincides with the fact that for the first time during this streak I feel a little horny. Not a lot mind you, and nothing I can't manage through, but still the first signs of life for my libido in one week. I'm also feeling more carefree than in the past, and less concerned with what others think about me. I'm extremely motivated to continue this streak, and at the present moment I'm in no danger of relapsing. Been trying to take it one day at a time, and it has worked wonders up to this point.

Keep it going man.

Day 8 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

It was somewhat difficult getting to sleep last night. I wasn't super horny or anything, but my balls ached really bad. The feeling isn't as severe today, but it is still present. It's almost like my body is begging me for a release. Not going to happen. My libido is a little higher today than yesterday, and it feels like it's steadily climbing each day. I suppose that's a lot better than the peaks and valleys I've experienced when trying to quit PMO in the past. I notice with each passing day more and more women look good to me. It's kind of funny actually, as I wonder if I go 90+ days without masturbating am I going to start seeing every women as good looking? Since there is such a spike in attraction towards the opposite sex, I must continue to avoid ogling women and shift my gaze forwards, both figuratively and literally. Otherwise, a relapse is imminent.

I'm still struggling with fatigue most mornings, but I know it won't last if I can keep my hands off of myself. I read a report from a guy yesterday who wrote that when he abstained from masturbating for 2 months he had so much energy he couldn't sleep some nights. Even more amazing, he wrote that the next day after pulling an all nighter he wasn't tired! This is by no means the only account I've read which suggests that not masturbating causes an accumulation of energy that's foreign to most men who don't abstain. I'm hoping to tap into that energy, as I need it(and want it) badly.

I always tracking your journey!!! good detailed story man.

Be stronger, Cheers.

Thanks, I appreciate the feedback. I've been reading your log as well.

Day 9 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

My libido continues to climb ever so steadily. Today it's a little higher than yesterday and I have a minor case of blue balls. Yesterday, I felt my first major mental benefit from abstaining. As a kid, and early on in my teenage years, I always had an insatiable appetite for learning. I wanted to learn as much as I could about everything. I wanted to speak many different languages, know all about history, science, math, etc. This thirst for knowledge seemed to completely disappear suddenly around my junior year in high school. I noticed it, and always just chalked it up to me getting older and my personality was changing naturally. Now however, I believe that frequent ejaculation was what caused the absence of this thirst for knowledge. Yesterday, it came back. Today, the feeling is stronger. I filled up my hard drive space(which used to be occupied with porn) with lectures of history, science, math, and language. I'm motivated to learn as much as I can about everything again. In my opinion, this thirst for knowledge is caused by sexual transmutation.

Day 10 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

Yesterday proved to be quite difficult. I had several erections which wouldn't go away for some time. I didn't masturbate or edge, but since I had an erection for a long period of time I leaked out some pre cum. My penis felt so sensitive I actually almost felt like I was going to have a spontaneous ejaculation a few times, thankfully though I didn't.

I finally managed to get to sleep without ejaculating or edging, however, I did dream of porn and relapsing. I think my brain is in full on panic mode at the present moment. I've read that as you progress farther away from PMO if you don't give into your urges to look at porn, your brain wants the dopamine rush so badly it will try and trick you back into PMO rationally. This happened to me back during my 44 days porn free streak. My brain initially gave me strong urges to look at porn, which I managed to resist. However, whenever I would get depressed during that streak my mind would say, "see, this isn't working, I was much happier when I looked at porn. Let's just give this up." If I were to look at this from a detached point of view, I'd have to say that it's a pretty impressive thing the power of the brain.

It remains to be seen how difficult today will be, I'm feeling several rushes of arousal this morning, but like I've said previously during this streak, I'm not going to give in. I don't care if I have to toss and turn all night with a raging boner, I'm not going to masturbate or look at porn.

Day 11 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

Acne is something that has been a pain in my side for much of my life. From the time I became to a teenager to even now, I've suffered from large breakouts. About a month ago the right side of my face was hit with a large amount of acne. Usually it clears up after a few weeks. This time however, it didn't clear up after two weeks, or even three weeks. I was starting to get concerned. I checked myself out in the mirror this morning and this patch that never healed is almost completely gone after just 11 days of no PMO. It's simply unbelievable to me. From all the accounts I've read on nofap one of the major similarities between all of them is that they all claim that not masturbating for a period of time makes your skin much smoother. I've read other accounts where the man has tried everything under the sun to get rid of acne, but it just won't go away, but after not masturbating for an extended period of time it seems to magically disappear. This would confirm the ancient belief that acne can be caused in part by sexual exhaustion. If they're right about that, can they be right about all the other benefits like, greater intelligence, sparkling eyes, and much stronger muscles. If they are right about all those things, I must say I feel like I've been duped my whole life into believing that masturbation is no big deal.

I noticed another psychical change this morning and that is the fact that my balls appear to be much larger now. It makes sense since I'm holding a lot more sperm in them then usual, but I was unaware that the size could fluctuate based on the amount of sperm a man is carrying.

keep it up

Day 12 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

I've been extremely horny today, and on top of it my balls have hurt a little. The good news is I have to work all day today, so I'm going to be able to keep my mind off of it.

Nothing else really to report.

Day 13 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

I've been hit with a minor wave of depression recently, I hope that it goes away in a few days. I suspect it's my brains dopamine levels tapering off, but I'm not 100 percent sure on that.

My libido continues to escalate with each passing day. Today, I've been horny all day, and my balls have been ACHING. I've been trying to keep my mind off of it, and have been moderately successful in doing so. I haven't edged since I began this streak, but I have been getting erections pretty frequently.

My facial hair has definitely been growing in faster. I used to have to shave every 3-4 days, now it's pretty much every other day otherwise I wind up looking like a bum. I've never been able to grow in a full beard, so it's going to be mighty interesting to me to see if I'm able to do so further down the line. I wouldn't call facial hair growth a benefit to not masturbating, but it's a noticeable side effect, which correlates with hormonal changes in the body.

keep it up man

Day 14 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

Well, I've made it two weeks, and I'm only 3 days away from my personal record for abstaining from masturbation. Yesterday, I woke up in the middle of the night extremely horny. I was able to avoid masturbation, but it disturbed my night of sleep as it took almost an hour and a half to get back to bed. I dreamt of porn.

I think I've reached the point now where I have to be extremely cautious with images of beautiful women on TV and magazines. I was cautious before, but now I have to immediately look away since the slightest thing can set me off. No more TV shows with sexy women before bed, otherwise I'm doomed to relapse.

Day 15 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

The "blue balls" haven't subsided yet. I've been experiencing the feeling for about 3-4 days straight now. My dreams probably didn't help to alleviate the feeling as I dreamt of porn and relapsing all night last night. The urges to look at porn are coming back strong especially since I've been dreaming of my favorite videos. If my brain wasn't panicking before, it certainly is now. My dreams are a reflection of the brains desire to see those movies again and get the hit of dopamine it craves so desperately. However, I won't give in.

I've begun to notice that my penis looks and feels smoother. What's more is that it appears to be getting smoother and more sensitive with each passing day. I wonder if there is a limit to this sensitivity? I shall find out moving forward.

I've heard men say that as they abstain from masturbation women tend to give them more attention and their sexual magnetism really seems to increase. Nobody really offers a definitive explanation. Some say it's caused by pheromones, or a visible change in attitude, appearance, etc. I've found this benefit hard to believe personally. This is a major point that I'm going to keep a close eye on moving forward. I bring this up now because yesterday an odd situation occurred. I got propositioned by a women for sex(not a prostitute). This is something that has never happened to me before, and as a result it really caught my eye. I'm going to see if there is anything to this idea that a mans magnetism increases with women as he abstains. So, from now on, when something out of the ordinary for me occurs(like yesterday) I'm going to denote the day with an " * ". This signifies a women coming on to me. If there is something to this increased sexual magnetism then in theory the longer the streak, the more * there will be. If it so happens that there are a lot of incidents moving forward and no other explanation is satisfactory then I'll have no other choice but to believe that not masturbating can increase your sexual magnetism.

Day 16 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

The battle is really on now. I woke up again in the middle of the night horny, just as a few days ago, and I've been horny all day again today. The porn urges are strong as well, and the the voice in my head is begging me to look at it. I continue to suffer from blue balls, and I'm left wondering when the symptom is going to go away. I pray it's pretty soon, because it's quite the unpleasant feeling. The good news is I'm only a few days of breaking my all time longest streak of no masturbation. I will continue to press on, no matter what. There is no turning back now.

you can do it man

Day 17 PMO

WD(0) MW(0) SE(0)

Well, I matched my personal record for longest streak without masturbation. It certainly wasn't easy though yesterday. I had great difficulty sleeping, as well as great difficulty during the day keeping my mind of sex, and porn. I pretty much had an erection all day long and must have leaked out 10-15 drops of pre cum throughout the day. A few days ago I mentioned how the brain tries to trick the addict into a relapse if you get past the initial urges. That was certainly the case with me yesterday as the voice in my head was telling me things like, "you've made good progress, let's reward our self" and, "What difference does it make I masturbate or look at porn once in 16 days? That won't hurt in the long run". I managed to resist though, and today isn't nearly as difficult. Porn urges are still strong, and my brain doesn't understand yet that our porn days are over. I can tell it's getting pretty desperate though, as I dreamt of porn yet AGAIN. I think that makes the 4th or 5th time in the last week I've dreamt about relapsing to porn.