Wet Dream Forum

I'm trying serious AB again, but this time I'm going with a log. I'm currently about 3 days in.

I'm not doing this for religious reasons (I'm Atheist) but because:
- I've had lowish testosterone for awhile. Had severe depression for years, and that really affected puberty/libido. I want to try and work on that.
- I've never had things like an SE (sans one wildcard time it happened, story sold separately. Please ask OP at the cash register if story is in stock.) or Wet Dream, and I want to.
- I figure it can't be too hard (pun not intended) to do, because I take a medicine that causes temporary erectile dysfunction while the dose is in my body, so abstaining should be a breeze. You'd be surprised how easy it is to resist MB when you're horny, but not hard.

Encouragement/tips for a new-ish ABer is appreciated. I can in turn offer encouragement/maybe some helpful info, in thanks.

As a final note, I chose this site over the Reddit subreddit /r/NoFap. Much too big a community, it seems like any sort of "rules" quickly fall way to mob mentality, and the people here seem really nice, informative, and encouraging.

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Days Abstained: 3 (Record: 47 days)
Description of day 3 so far: Back to the old grind. Or rather, not grinding. Well, maybe a rub or two.

Using this post as a personal logkeeper for things like my rules and my AB time and such. I'll try and do updates fairly often, hopefully daily.

~Rules for myself right now~
- Porn watching is somewhat limited. It's something I do when I can't think of anything else to do, and I've never had a day where I told myself I was just going to watch porn and ended up breaking down and MBing, since I was 12 or 13.
* Due to the new phenomena where I get horny while on the medicine dose, if I feel myself getting close to losing it, which is something I had originally thought not possible with me, no more porn for the day.
- The occasional subtle rub is fine, but not actual masturbating/edging.
* The occasional adjustment or tug to take the edge off of the horny untouched-boner aura that your dick gives off when you get horny and hard is fine, but as the saying goes "3 times is playing with yourself".
* If I reach the edge/cum from any non-willful sources, such as SE, WD, or accidental-but-unintentional-SE, then it doesn't count against me.
- Alternating between nude and clothed sleeping.
* I'm not going out of my way to alternate. If I happen across a day when I feel I want to sleep naked, versus how I usually do, clothed, I will. Main worry there is just the mess. I cum a decent amount after just a few days of AB, and with a good amount of force too. I'm not sure I want to find out what that's like on many more days of AB, during the semenstorm that WDs are supposed to be. RIP sheets. (Or, if you're really unlucky with your aiming, and if you're either asleep, or me when I'm MBing (my aim needs work), RIP your face.)

~OUTSIDE FACTORS~
- My depression causes me sleep problems. I don't wake in the morning and sleep in the evening, it's all over the place, and I can be awake anywhere from 18 hours to 72 hours. So things like WDs and the time I spend trying to get through a day is affected.
- I'm on a medicine that helps regulates my schedule and keeps me from being absurdly drowsy 24/7. One side effect of this medicine is erectile dysfunction for the duration of the dose, due to increased bloodflow. I can get horny, but not hard. When it wears off though, I am incredibly horny. So, the medicine makes things easier, and then, harder in more ways than one. Pun intended.

~Day by day, short, summary updates (M/D/Y)~
12/11/13 - My technical day 5. Not too horny today due to the loss yesterday.
12/12/13 - Day 6. Not too bad either, but a fair bit horny towards the start of day 7.
12/13/13 - Day 7 is here, and lo and behold, there is horny.

Current AB time at time of edit: 7 days, 10 hours. (178 hours overall)

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Days Abstained: 3 (Record: 47 days)
Description of day 3 so far: Back to the old grind. Or rather, not grinding. Well, maybe a rub or two.

Do you think you might be tempted by watching porn after a long period of ab? In my experience, abstaining from porn all together makes the ab more exciting. After 1.5 months of no P, just the thought of being accidentally exposed to nudity is exciting. Just seeing a lingerie model turns me on now.

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If I encounter the problem of lust drawing me to watch more porn, I'll likely quit the porn. But I didn't encounter that last time I AB'd for a month, so I don't know if I will this time.

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Days Abstained: 3 (Record: 47 days)
Description of day 3 so far: Back to the old grind. Or rather, not grinding. Well, maybe a rub or two.

Cool man. Keep us posted and good luck!

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About 5 days in now. Was pretty horny when I woke up, but the rest of the day has been pretty good.

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Days Abstained: 3 (Record: 47 days)
Description of day 3 so far: Back to the old grind. Or rather, not grinding. Well, maybe a rub or two.

Great log, and nice decision! Hope you are fine and able too keep up! Maybe attaining your goal will also help going past your depression...

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DATE OF LAST ORGASM: after MB 1 august 2013 (WD 25 nov)
DAYS SINCE LAST MB: 118
WD: Current around 8 in 4 months, life time a lot
SE: Current 1, Lifetime 2
LONGEST STREAK OF AB FROM MB: 1 year and 8 months
GOAL: LIFELONG

Right, I'm gonna take a post to talk about the medicine I'm on. I would recommend reading for the three of you that will end up keeping tabs on my AB log over the next period of however many months. You might just learn something science-y that will end up benfitting you in no way in life except perhaps when reading my log because it's likely to be related to either mental illnesses, sleep issues, or dick problems!


It's a (prescribed) stimulant, called Vyvanse. An amphetamine, a type of drug people might be more familiar with as its street version, Ecstasy/MDMA/Speed. Commonly prescribed for ADHD, but it's prescribed "off-label" (AKA, for a different use than the most common norm use, sometimes for ailments not confirmed to be linked yet, by scientific research, but can/will help for something by common knowledge) for me; for the purpose of chronic daytime drowsiness, severe depression, and an irregular bodyclock.

What this medicine is for, is the first step in helping me through the depression and sleep issues. I still have yet to find an antidepressant and sleep medicine that helps at all* (see below for the *), but for the chronic daytime drowsiness, and a few other issues caused by the depression, this helps in a lot of ways, and potentially makes other aspects of my treatment easier.

Now, there are good reasons for me talking about this, and reasons why it's relevant to the whole WD thing. First off, I've had people get the wrong ideas when I mention stimulants in some places. Some people have thought I was a druggie when I didn't mention it was prescribed. Others thought I was addicted anyways and was lying about it helping me, and things like my symptoms/depression as a whole, to get more drugs (NEVER BE THIS PERSON). And I've obviously been mistaken for having ADHD.

Beyond the mistaken (or deluded), with here, it's different because it affects sexual function as well, which pertains to the whole MB/AB/SE/WD train. For the duration of the dose, I not only can't get hard, but I'm much smaller flaccid. We're talking normally about 1.75 inches flaccid, and between 0.50 and 0.75 inches flaccid when on the dose. Stimulants, for those unaware, are Vasoconstrictors. The blood vessels essentially tighten up, making your heart rate faster. What happens with me, and apparently another 2% of people that take this, is not just the heart rate/vasoconstriction that affects the other 100% on the drug, but some additional things. End-body type things such as my ears, nose, fingers, toes, and penis, get colder than normal, and when not touched/moved for a bit, a tad numb. And obviously, the dong shrinkage.

Then, however, there's a secondary effect. When the dose wears off, it has lingering sexual effects. First off upon wearing off, I can get a semi again, somewhat easily, and an erection somewhat reliably if spotty at times, but I can't keep the erection very well. However, secondly, I get horny. I'm not talking horny horny, even horny horny to where you just get so hard up that you just want to rub away to a mind-blowing orgasmic explosion right then (and this comes from someone that abstained for about a month before recently, though that was while I wasn't on the medicine). I'm talking like DEAR FUCK I WOULD FUCK ANYTHING THAT MOVES REGARDLESS OF WHETHER IT CONSENTED OR POSSESSED THE ABILITY TO VOICE CONSENT. (Let's just say I wasn't surprised to learn that stimulants commonly act as an Aphrodisiac in people that take it).

At first, I thought it was just because your dick, and entire body really, didn't know how to react to not being able to get hard when being suppressed and shrunk like that. I thought it was my body trying to get me hard, not realizing it couldn't due to the shrunken blood vessels, and continuing trying to get hard, building my arousal. Right now, though, I'm a few hours into my dose for today, and I've realized that no, the shit just makes you really horny. When I woke up about 20 hours ago for the day, I noticed the fullness that came with the days of AB. I'm feeling that same feeling now, along with the horniness. I'm sitting here, completely flaccid, shrunken, and even cold in the dong... and I had to take my pants off because twice within a short-ish time, I felt I could cum from the wrong (right?) movement. I'm better off now without the pants/boxers, but I'm still getting the occasional wave of arousal that makes me feel closer than I should feel. Even after only about 5 days of AB, I really feel fit to burst already, almost like there's too much fluid to fit all the way in the prostate itself. I can feel something to the effect of what I can best describe as the semen just waiting down there in the bottom of the tubes, already ready and waiting for the one wrong move by me, that ends up causing a central Florida snowstorm in the southern area of a central Florida Floridagoer. (Since we hotter-USA-state people lack snow, anything else white makes a good comparison, but I do suppose cum isn't exactly cold...).

As a side note, I did a test too during this time (I like doing tests like this). I watched a bit of porn not long after originally taking off my pants, and sure enough, the waves of pleasure began to come faster, and stronger, than before. Within an hour or two, I could have a 100% handsfree, flaccid SE/SO, no doubt in my mind. I might end up having to cut out the porn entirely if it turns out the Vyvanse continues to always affect my AB'ing lust in this way, and it ends up not being a one-day fluke, since if I can nearly cum myself by doing nothing, porn is a definite factor that would need to be removed.

I think this whole thing as a whole, is both cool for everyone, and bad for me. Cool, because I don't think anyone else here to my knowledge has had a medicine affecting sexual function, besides maybe SSRI antidepressants, to get data from when it comes to AB'ing, wet dreams, and SE's. So it's potentially really unique stuff. On the bad hand, I'm now pretty much at the mercy of essentially, a doctor-required libido boost that can have me on the brink of cumming after not being aroused for long, and with little to no touching. While sporting a shrunken flaccid penis. So, I seem to have misjudged how easy this might be -- I thought how horny you were correlated with how hard you were, since when I used to MB; if I was really horny, and really hard, my orgasm would be really big. But, now I know the external and internal physical response is indeed different. Hooray! I think.

Either way, on the AB front (main point of this forum ) it makes porn infinitely less viable if this becomes regular, makes me think I'm probably going to have at least 5 SE's before

I think it is worth the trouble, though. It does a lot for me. I can focus on stuff for once without drifting into lethargy, I can stay awake for a day without issue, I have the energy to exercise at all + more (Which helps health, potentially AB/WD train, helps with depression, and tires me out, which helps with sleep; so hooray exercise!), it regularizes my bowel movements (Bad diet also means diet without much fiber, crapping once a month/every few weeks used to be the norm at a time, now, it's daily), keeps me perky and happy, even if it is a fakeish happy, and above all, it helps. Plus, between this and the AB, it should help my libido. At 19, I think I should be working on the ability to have random hair trigger erectionslike the rest of you that went through puberty without your libido affected by depression.

So, I'm sorry for the long post, and thanks to the people that bothered to take two or three minutes to read it, and much more so if you comment in response to me making this post. I just want to get this out of the way just in-case, for more reasons than one, as per listed. (Below is three bonus notes, one stemming from a notation above; along with the first story of my one didn't-really-count-it SE that I have had, for people that want some extra lols.)



*Tried several of both to no avail or effect, except for Lunesta and Ambien, both sleep medicines. Lunesta gave me awful nightmares and a horrible aftertaste in my mouth, luckily I only took it for a week; and Ambien, which I ended up taking for nearly the full first month (24 days), made me sleepwalk like mad.**

**Sleepwalking occurrences, for the curious among you, include using the bathroom and apparently having pissed in the bathtub, eating a bag of Ruffles chips like cereal, stripping and falling asleep next to my desk on the floor, masturbating through my partially-open fly (seemingly not anywhere close to orgasm, since I woke in the act, not horny or close, or with precum anywhere), and getting a jar of peanut butter from the cabinet next to the cups, thinking it was one, and initiating the drink movements with the still-closed jar.***

***This was the notable and scary one. This was in the morning, when my family was up and about. When they saw me, they figured out I was sleepwalking since I'd brought up my occurrences to my family (sans the masturbation one), so they figured they'd watch for amusement, until they saw me getting the peanut butter. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts, and several kinds of tree nuts. Never took another dose, brought it up to my at-the-time psychiatrist and psychologist, they both said NOPE to that, and took me off it. It didn't work for me anyways, which is good, but it still came with some scary side effects. For anyone that might think I'm exaggerating the shit you can do on that stuff, here's a few more examples of what Ambien can do from a subreddit called r/TIFU (stands for Today I Fucked Up): http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/search?q=tifu+ambien&sort=relevance&restrict_sr=on&t=all. I wouldn't recommend this medicine to anyone. I've been depressed with sleeping problems of high degree for years, but some things simply aren't realistically worth it. I wouldn't have cared if this stuff had worked perfectly for me -- waking up to me going into anaphylactic shock is not a risk I'm willing to take. Plus, look at all of my other sleepwalkings. The stuff obviously causes them often, and in high severity. You could hurt yourself on this stuff, easy. 0/10 would not recommend.


BONUS FIRST BUT NOT REALLY SE STORY (Definitely probably NSFW)
Okay, so, I was 13. This is also my first and only close call when MBing in terms of being caught. So, I like to edge for awhile when I MB. Getting it over with quickly was kinda boring then, and still is now, 6 years later. So, I'm like on the edge of the edge, and my dad calls me up (luckily locked doors are allowed). Quickly pull up my emergency shorts, kill the porn meanwhile, and get up and out to my room door. He wants me to take out the trash. So, staying totally horny the entire time, I start that, and while carrying out the second of three bags, I end up losing it (in retrospect, boxer-less, loose gym shorts weren't a good choice for emergency shorts, but they went on quicker and without noise). Had to finish taking out the trash while holding the bags in front of me, dabbing at my leg to keep the cum from running down my leg in to plain site. Definitely an experience. I don't count it as an SE because it was mostly MB-induced. I assume an orgasm from solely SE-based stimulation would feel different; going off the educated guess that if different ways of MBing feel different ways and produce different orgasms/cumshots, then likely a real SE would feel unique too.

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Days Abstained: 3 (Record: 47 days)
Description of day 3 so far: Back to the old grind. Or rather, not grinding. Well, maybe a rub or two.

Oh cool, wasn't expecting a post this late, I figured the stateside people were asleep (sort of like how I should be, if I didn't have sleep issues) so you're either not from the US, from the US and just awake late, or this post was made awhile before I finished typing my massive post, and I just didn't notice. Clarify? :3

Also, yeah, hopefully I will be fine and able to keep up. The AB itself so far is a breeze, except for the medicine-induced horny side effect. It's weird to be doing this mostly for the heck of it. No real desire to see/feel an SE/WD except for why not reasons, no porn addiction issues, no MB addiction issues, and thus far and as with my first almost-a-month AB time, no self-control issues. Also not for anything like religious reasons. I would imagine most people get in to the whole NoFap-type thing for a certain reason, weakness, or problem, but for me, this is mostly for the heck of it, and I suppose it is pretty unique in terms of the circumstances I'm trying to reach SE/WDs in.

As for the depression, it might help the low libido and testosterone, which is a by-product of the depression, but as for the depression itself, I don't think it'll help much. Especially considering since I had about 0 libido before and only masturbated for stress, I really don't think I stand to gain too too much from doing this, on the depression front. Medicines, therapists, and friends will do most of the work there, and then I can get on track with my life again, and be less of a complete and utter failure as a person! >.>



Side note to anyone who is in it, is the 18+ forum worth asking to get in to? I figure it's just another section of the forum with probably the same sort of content as like the General section, except with more 18+ stuff. If people can vouch for it as a useful medium of WD informational stuff and cool AB/WD/SE related stuff, I'll poke the admin (AGT, I think his name is?) and see if I can join you elite crowd, now that I actually qualify as an active member, instead of just mostly lurking.

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Days Abstained: 3 (Record: 47 days)
Description of day 3 so far: Back to the old grind. Or rather, not grinding. Well, maybe a rub or two.

Welcome! Your writing seems to be quite well done, analytical, and quite descriptive. I'm sure we all wish you good luck in getting beyond your sleep and depression problems. If you look at the observations many guys make as a result of abstaining on 'no fap' topics at Reddit and other sites, it seems that AB (abstaining from MB) might help you with your problems. Exercise might also help by differentiating more between wake and sleep, and can increase testosterone.

All your 'horniness without erection' issues may not be related to the drugs you are taking. ABing from MB for long periods of time naturally enables horniness to be separated from erection, so that guys can indeed feel horny and even aroused without always getting an erection. Some guys even have intense WDs without full erections at times. There are some videos which show that a WD can start before full erection takes place (there are some in the adult section of this site).

I think it can be argued that it is natural for the brain/body to separate horniness from erection, but regular MB ties them together. A guy who doesn't masturbate but is looking forward to having sex next weekend does not go around all the time until then with an erection. His excitement as the weekend approaches is not 100% correlated with erection, and in fact logically and naturally, he may not get much of an erection until 'the deed' becomes imminent. Similarly, a guy who has gotten away from the MB habit can feel horny for his next WD but, having no interest in masturbation, can fall asleep without an erection.

Good luck in your pursuit of WDs and a healthier life!

Hey, thanks Texan. Yeah, I'm counting on this to hopefully help me out, even a little, in a few ways.

As for the AB'ing from MB thing, I know that can happen, but here, I'm 100% sure it's the medicine. When you have a medicine that not only disables your ability to get an erection, but also acts as an Aphrodisiac, you're gonna get horny, and you won't be hard when you will. The AB'ing from MB thing does happen naturally, and may even compound with the Aphodisiac-type horniness, but this is definitely the drug.

On the topic of the WDs without full erections, that's interesting. I always thought the method of stimulation for a nocturnal emission was the throbbing of the penis while you're asleep, having it going against clothing and sheets to bring you to a wet dream orgasm, but I guess that nixes that. The adult forum sounds like it has some things you can't necessarily find in General, so I suppose I might as well ask to get in, since it seems to be worth the time. I'll probably PM AGT after I finish posting this reply.

Anyways, I think my body is plenty good at differentiating erection with horniness, looking at today. Even now, I keep having to take off my pants and underwear because the simple act of having the clothing there, even immobile, touching the flesh, is bringing me close to the edge, and keeping me aroused. It's one hell of an annoyance, and I wouldn't say that if I do end up losing it, it counts as a spontaneous ejaculation, because I've been unnaturally horny and hair-triggered for nearly 12 hours -- not exactly spontaneous, and because it's fueled by arousal and not instantaneous release, it would be an actual orgasm, not a random, pleasure-less release.

Erections are one thing, but ten times the arousal in 1/8th of the size is not exactly my idea of a fun time.

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Days Abstained: 3 (Record: 47 days)
Description of day 3 so far: Back to the old grind. Or rather, not grinding. Well, maybe a rub or two.

Well, I'm about to day seven now. Managed to last through yesterday by some dumb luck. Onwards.

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Days Abstained: 3 (Record: 47 days)
Description of day 3 so far: Back to the old grind. Or rather, not grinding. Well, maybe a rub or two.

Same day update. Not very horny today. I wonder if the hours spent on the edge yesterday nixed my chance at a WD for awhile. I still am definitely more aroused than usual, but I don't feel quite as full as I did yesterday. (Meaning, not to where I kept feeling like semen was ready to leave the prostate and actually enter my penis; you know, as if I was already on the edge from MB, and a touch away from decorating the tree with tinsel. Yes, I used that joke again. 'TIS THE GODDAMN SEASON. Plus, anyone can say "a stroke away from cumming all over my cock". But it takes a creative person to make an amusing and seasonally appropriate allusion to doing so. Anyways.)

Watching porn is yielding less murmurs than it was on day five too, and I would imagine on day seven, I'd feel more of the occasional twinge of horniness versus day five. To anyone worried about the porn, by the way, since a few people in the chat mentioned it; I'm good, really. I have an absurdly high ability to refrain from touching, and haven't given myself any MB, whether watching porn or not. And that's even with the build-up of the AB and the Aphrodisiac-inducing stimulant medicine.

Another thing I want to note is my wake-ups. Been waking up pretty nearly erect, and without any horniness, even waking up yesterday. Takes a day or two after I stop taking the medicine for me to be able to get erections normally again. Here's the timeline of the medicine's (sexual-based only, I don't think anyone cares about the other ones) side effects, timeline'd:

- Start drinking the drink I've mixed the medicine in with.
* I can't swallow pills, so I open the capsule and mix the powder in a drink.
- If I have a boner, that ends.
* I tried an experiment the first month I was ever on the medicine. AB'd for 3 days, spent hours edging at a very full mast, then drank the medicine drink. Lost the ability to keep the boner within 5 minutes. Stuff kicks in fast.
- A few hours in to the dose, the horny kicks in. Some times it kicks in faster, other times, slower, but when it kicks in, it KICKS. Even my near-month-long first AB didn't get me as horny as this does. Laughably shrunken flaccid that feels like a pornstar is giving you a blow.
* So far, watching porn during that period doesn't seem to affect my horniness, or get me any closer to orgasm. That could change once I get further into AB. To be determined.

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Days Abstained: 3 (Record: 47 days)
Description of day 3 so far: Back to the old grind. Or rather, not grinding. Well, maybe a rub or two.

Lost a bit of cum the other day from the undying arousal, which wasn't really an SE or orgasm, so I just set myself back 4 days. So now I guess I'm on day 6, going on day 7.

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Days Abstained: 3 (Record: 47 days)
Description of day 3 so far: Back to the old grind. Or rather, not grinding. Well, maybe a rub or two.

Hey Foridagoer,

Enjoy reading your log. Sorry to hear about the depression and sleep issues.
I don't wish to put my nose in where its not wanted but has your doctor tested your T? Do you eat a lot of carbs? Do you exercise regularly? How much alcohol do you drink?

Maybe you have thought about these things, so if I am not helping, please say, but I have had many of the symptoms you mention in the past and made a huge turnaround through lifestyle changes.

Of course sometimes medication is needed and helpful, sometimes however you need to help your body fix itself to avoid chronic symptoms and need for ongoing meds. I am not some wacko health and fitness nut, but have been where you describe and pulled myself out by making changes.

I wish you all the best for a recovery, but if you are interested to know more, let me know.

Things like testosterone and thyroid are being tested soon, actually. Carb intake is not extremely high -- I don't always have the will to get up and go make myself some food, so I eat sporadically, and more so with the sleep issues. I walk around the block a few times a day, but not much more than that. No alcohol -- not even the legal age for it yet anyways. Doubt I'll drink when I do hit 21, but anyways, no, no alcohol.

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Days Abstained: 3 (Record: 47 days)
Description of day 3 so far: Back to the old grind. Or rather, not grinding. Well, maybe a rub or two.

Sounds like you are in a vicious circle. Not eating properly and no proper excise will not be helping you, but if you are tired, depressed and lacking motivation it's difficult to start and the root cause can easily be hormone problems. Testing T and thyroid function is the way to go.
Are you sure AB is right for you at the moment?
Relieving your urges is a more natural way to go if you are struggling with other issues. Aren't you putting yourself under too much pressure? I find the fastest way to get off to sleep if I am struggling is to have a good MB and blow out, sleep soon follows......

Hi Floridagoer, how are you?
I've read your posts and really can relate to you in some way. I'm also in the way of treating a major depression event and an anxiety disorder. Must admit that what you write made me think that the meds i take may also increase my libido (not decreasing)... Don't know.
I don't want to be an intruder, but why are you depressed? Only answer if wanna to, i know admitting the problem is not easy. For me, i lost my dad 4 years ago a for 3 years a forgot a had ever a father. You can imagine what that can cause. I simply ceased do have true emotions/feelings. It was really bad.
Now i'm better with the help off pills, therapy and some gain self control and also, after facing the situation, that my dad was gone, that there wasn't anything i could do and the life goes on - even if we think is not fair.
I'm new to the site and trying to have a first WD in years. Hope we can help each other. Who knows? I'm good on fixing other people problems and not mine own.
Hope you get better. If in the need of something, give a call.

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Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

Sorry to hear about you dad FutureWDer, but pleased to hear you made it through that difficult time.

I would also like to hear from Floridagoer, are you OK?

Yah, it was a harsh time, and still is very painful when thinking he's no longer with us. Last moth made 4 years of his departure and he was still very young, only 50 yo and it was kinda unexpected -he was a healthy man, or so it seemed.
Thanks for the support. At the time, also to forget, mb and porn was an way to not think on what had happened. The habit grew bigger still. But now i'm trying to be OK again, and i'll be.

I'm also worried about Floridagoer, hope he's fine, at least, as he can be ok with those meds and sleep deprivation. With this i also suffer a bit from insomnia and is frequent to take long time to fall asleep, but a manage, but there are bad nights were i sleep very little and the next day you're exhausted.
Really hope Folidagoer is OK. If i can be of some assistance, well bro, tell, i'll hear you.

Get better!

_________________
Ever tried.
Ever Failed.
No matter.
Try Again.
Fail Again.
Fail Better - Samuel Beckett

Been rather busy with life, but I'm going to back to being regular here. Today is day 1 for me. Good to be back.

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Days Abstained: 3 (Record: 47 days)
Description of day 3 so far: Back to the old grind. Or rather, not grinding. Well, maybe a rub or two.

Really interesting log Floridagoer! Great information without being too much of a medical journal. Thanks for sharing, and please continue to do so!

Alright, so! UPDATE ON: WHY HIATUS!?


The Vyvanse was screwing with my sex drive too much, so I decided I wasn't going to try to AB and subsequently attempt to make a subconscious mess of my boxers at this time. Should have made a post saying that... ...instead of just leaving for the hiatus outright, for any worries.


So for about 20 days, I had fun having Vyvanse-fueled masturbation sessions... Not too much to say overall about that besides orgasms were much better and stronger (than my norm of very-little-libido-depressed-state-orgasms) on the stuff due to it being a vaso-constrictor and aphrodisiac. You could be screwing a cactus (even an ugly cactus) and still cum your brains out through your dick even as your other head is being impaled by cactus spines. Though that's mainly due to getting lost in what you're doing more so than the lust. I do, however, have a few amusing but NSFW stories about the Vyvanse-Fap-Days (That's now trademarked because I said so):


1. So, as I said in earlier posts about Vyvanse; you're completely soft unless the medicine is taken within a certain time after the previous dose, in which case you can retain a less firm and less big but still hard erection; if only barely. Had one of those semi-hard-available days, and well. On Vyvanse, and likely any ADD-type medicine, your focus is heavily increased. This is why it has such a notorious usage level among college kids, to give them the focus they would need for things like studying or test/exam taking. On people like me, who are taking it without focus issues (though I do have focus/motivation issues from depression, but that's a little different), your focus is through the roof. Think of a menial, boring, repetitive task you could do. Now imagine doing it for 15 hours with a very small amount of brain power being used to where hours pass and you're not even aware of what you're doing anymore. That was me with a masturbation session. I spent 15 hours on one fap. Didn't even end up cumming. I just sorta snapped out of the insane-focus trance after those long hours. It hurt to move my legs (seriously, immobile legs or limbs in general for an extended duration can cause shit like blood clots and death, so that's sorta scary) and my shaft still has all sorts of scars over it from the amount of small cuts and rubbed-raw areas I had. I don't see how people can use this stuff recreationally, especially street-drug-type versions of ADD meds (speed, MDMA)... what's the appeal in just getting lost in what you're doing for hours upon hours? (Yeesh, that was a long re-telling. I'll now resist the urge to make a "long fap session" or "long penis" pun/joke/witty comment.)


2. Accidentally shot cum in my left eye and mouth in one, satisfying-but-quickly-horrible, spurt of cum. For this one I'd gone three days without a fap, and that first spurt went higher and with more force and fluid than I was expecting. I've had the first spurt "shoot" before, but never that high and that much with that much force... I went from "OH LORD YES" to "AW SHIT IT BURNS MY EY- ACK IT TASTES AWFUL TOO". That's hopefully the only time I'll ever have to taste my own load, and I'm *still* considering putting strawberries into my diet. Bleck. If you're a female, and you swallow loads that haven't been buttered up with sweet-tasting fruits like strawberries or pineapple, you're stronger than I am. Mentally, stomach-ly, and gag reflex-y, at that.


So, slightly embarrassing masturbation stories and hiatus apologies aside, I do have some great personal news. I got diagnosed with hypothyroidism, so that means my depression has a definite cause, which is now being treated. So my life should slowly get back to normal bit by bit, and in forum-related hopefully-ness, libido and sleep will follow suit, making a wet dream or SE easier, or possible. Rather than taking Vyvanse daily, I'm now being asked to take it only on days when I'm tired/have low or no motivation, to try to combat the fatigue and lack of focus/motivation. So woo-hoo, long awaited life progress!


On the terms of wet dreaming and spontaneous ejaculation hunting, I'm on day three of my abstaining so far. Day one was fine, day two I wanted to masturbate pretty damn intensely, and so far day three is not at all different. So far my penis is throbbing like a twelve year old boy with Parkinson's that's watching porn for the first time during an earthquake. (Great analogy right? Right? Anyone? No? Screw all of you. ) But yeah, I'm wondering if my libido is re-adjusting already, since I'm usually not this desperate to empty my prostate into my hand this soon after I start ABing; wasn't even like that when I went a few days during the Vyvanse period. I've also been getting a little hungry, when normally I could go 72 hours and not feel hungry at all, so I guess hunger and libido are starting to adjust.


I guess this AB period is going to be an actual challenge compared to the rest of my AB attempts, since I can't rely on Vyvanse to keep me soft yet horny (even though it became a curse once the dose wore off and I got uber-horny), and my libido isn't that of a brick. My depression started before my puberty did, and with things like Vyvanse and the occasional good day during my depressed years, I've gotten horny, but never naturally horny like this. Just feeling like I want to masturbate... that doesn't compare to this (which is likely I'm assuming what a horny 12 year old deals with, since this just seems way *too* horny, even for a 17 year old).


So, I guess biology is catching up to me, in the form of pre-cum underwear artwork*, and a hard-on throbbing out a drum solo among the sticky wetness. Art and music... hell, that could be my new pick-up line: "Hey baby, you *really* want to get into my pants, because there's culture like you wouldn't believe." Anyways, humor aside, now the challenge begins. I'm going to be hanging around in the chat room A LOT in the (obligatory cumming wordplay) coming days, partly because I enjoy chatting with the rest of you horny numbskulls for some odd reason (kidding, I love you all ) and because it helps to distract me from the party in my pants I'd rather decline the invitation to. Mainly because I know if I accept the invitation, I'll get distracted watching a, uh, movie, and then some dickhead will pour white goop all over me because he thinks it's amusing.


Now, onwards hopefully to my body pumping out a huge load of cum into my boxers (or onto my body and sheets, if it happens when I'm nude, if I decide to go sleeping-commando at some point... certainly wouldn't look forward to cleaning the sheets though) BUT to amend my statement, just in-case the karma Gods decide to screw with me and have me just unload my white Christmas at random; I'm hoping I spurt my load DURING A WET DREAM or WHILE FLACCID VIA A SPONTANEOUS EJACULATION and NOT while I'm trying to not lose my load on a daily basis to horniness. (Now you got nothing to say, karma Gods. Nothing at all. *enthusiastic pelvic thrust of victory*)

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Days Abstained: 3 (Record: 47 days)
Description of day 3 so far: Back to the old grind. Or rather, not grinding. Well, maybe a rub or two.

Oh, huh. Unfortunately, it seems I can't edit my older posts. That sucks, I can't adjust things like my base rules or keep a log up there, it would have to be in my signature unless I just make new posts often/daily. Rrgh. YOU WIN THIS ROUND, AGT.

_________________
Days Abstained: 3 (Record: 47 days)
Description of day 3 so far: Back to the old grind. Or rather, not grinding. Well, maybe a rub or two.

Day 6 of this AB (I really need to be more active with changing my signature-log). Libido is definitely much above what it used to be. I've even started growing more facial hair. Body (aka skin) is still dry as the salt flats, and mood-wise and motivation-wise. I don't feel any different. But I'm eating more than once a day now too.

Before this current AB cycle, I had a sorta-wet-dream. 2 days of AB. Woke up at 10:16ish, went back to sleep, woke up at 10:46ish after a vivid sex dream. It's amazing how well your brain is during dreaming, at mixing animated characters and real-looking people. It'll be really awesome when we can simulate lucid dream sequences during sleep -- spend the day doing whatever as normal, and then by night, spend your time asleep doing whatever the hell you want with a pre-loaded dream sequence.

Sci-fi wishes aside, essentially the dream had me flying around a city that resembled Arkham City (city from a batman game) in a tank for some reason. Landed, watched Harley Quinn strip, dream-dong went in her dream-cooch, then I woke up about 10 seconds later cumming. Not very much (the arousal period was really, really short so it was a shotgun orgasm), but I guess it counts as a wet dream in some people's eyes. Not enough build-up in the dream or in my prostate IMHO. Didn't feel like an orgasm, just some throbbing and a drop or two of cum.

Anyways, that aside, I do seem to be making progress on my life with the Levothyroxine. So, hooray for that. Boo for probably ending up having to shave my face regularly at some point (I did like not having to do that because I barely got any, which I always attributed to late bloomer genes or Chinese genes, but apparently, hypothyroidism was causing the delay), and boo more for not being able to watch porn without feeling horny and sneaking in strokes. I miss that. Now, watching porn, I keep sneaking in strokes and rubs against my mattress. Gonna try and re-train myself to have better self control... not used to this kind of horny. Failing that, I guess I'll just drop the porn and do my best to not break down and cover my abdomen (and face, if I end up being that unlucky again) with failure. White, warm, sticky, failure.

I guess I shouldn't beat myself up too much if I do cave and rub one out, but I'm just so used to thinking I was just really good at exercising self control, and then I got a dose of this thing all the kids seem to be snorting these days, "puberty". Awful drug, 0/10 would not recommend. I guess I'm just going to have to get used to getting naturally horny, and always being about a minute from wet shorts. Only 6 days in, and I could orgasm so quickly... the more time goes on, the less strokes I can sneak in without reaching the edge.

Y'all need to leave me encouraging comments or something, this is getting tough. :p

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Days Abstained: 3 (Record: 47 days)
Description of day 3 so far: Back to the old grind. Or rather, not grinding. Well, maybe a rub or two.

Congrats on figuring out what the problem was. It sounds like you're in for a ride! And also good job on having some fun with the situation.

And nice story about taking the garbage out. Too bad this is one of the only times you'll be able to tell it.

lol female here. If your guy has been eating junk all day but you still want to suck his dick, just have juice by the side of the bed and remember how much you adore him and try not to gag . The guy I like right now loves pineapples, thankfully.