Valentins Log

[valentinm]

Okay, now I have tried AB on my own, lasted 7 days, but it was not that easy. My conclusion is, that a log will help keeping me on track.
At first, when I joined this forum, my goal was to achieve a WD, but as I have read some of the other Logs, I have realized, that what I really want, and need, is to quit watching porn, and MB, and a possible way and good first try is AB. By doing this, I hope to find out what turns me on, and not what the porn-industry want me to be turned-on by.
I have never experienced a sexual dream (that i can remember), until day 6 of last week. The dream: I was sitting in a bed with a girl, both fully clothed. Then she asks me if I want to have sex, but I was too shy, so another guy began to kiss her. Then I woke...
As I started MB really young, 7 years old, I have never really experienced horniness as well, as I have been MB because of habit not feelings... I hope I can discover that feeling among others by AB.
That was a lot, so I better stop now

I apologize for the bad grammar

[masanopat]

Good luck! The first thing that you need is a strong will power and the second is some alternative to watching porn and masturbating such as doing physical exercise, going out or something productive that could take the place of porn and MB. I can relate to your experience because I've been there myself. Anyway, I hope that you will find the courage and the right focus to keep you always on track! Good luck, again!

[Darkblade]

Welcome! I also realized that what I really needed was to quit porn, and did so before even trying to AB. I don't know if I could start both at the same time. I've also found exercise helpful, also staying away from the computer for long periods of time, and also focusing more on how I feel rather than what I fantasize about. Good luck!

[valentinm]

Day 2

So it is the end of day 2, and I have completed a day without MB and porn One day is easy enough I think, I am more concerned about the next couple of days...
It was rather easy to AB today, as I was really exhausted from yesterday. I have found a exercise routine I will start tomorrow and a couple of articles I have to read, just to keep my mind occupied. We will see how that goes. If that fails, I can always start cleaning

Thanks Masa and Darkblade for the support Glad to know there are others out there, that can relate to my situation.

[masanopat]

I have also read something about focusing on the "feeling" rather than sexual fantasies. I guess one user here used this technique to induce orgasm through the use of pure mental activity without any physical stimulation. I forgot who that user was, but I remember him saying that during this "mental" masturbation his mind is extremely and solely focused on the sensation he feels. That kind of practice, according to him, mimics the WD experience. Anyway, before anything else, let me just say that no matter what are the challenges we are facing right now, let's be firm and strong in our AB journey.

[valentinm]

Day 3

Nothing much to say about today. The exercise program was way harder than I thought, so I have been low on energy. The good thing is, that I haven't looked at porn or MB, so that is 2 consecutive days
One thing I noticed today was, that I was more aware of the ladies I passed on my way, and even got eye-contact with some of them, something I never normally seek. I don't know if it is because of AB, or it simply is because summer is here, but I guess I will find out in the following days.

[masanopat]

Well, let me just tell you that we share a common experience. I do feel like abstaining from masturbation increases testosterone levels, which in turn might increase also the production of pheromones, the odor hormones, which kinda makes us even hotter than normal. Anyway, I hope that you could make your AB lasts until day 30. Good luck!!

[valentinm]

Day 4

Not much to report. Didn't wake with morning wood, which I always do, but that is maybe because I slept with boxer briefs... I don't feel the T-buzz yet, but hope it will kick in soon. On the good side: haven't watched porn today. On the bad side: I took myself in undoing my pants and started to grab my penis in boredom, but as soon I had a erection, I realized what I was doing, and put it away. It happened 4 times within 2 hours, but it was not MB, just me getting hard. My solution was to shut the television, and look at some comedy (Russell Howard) on youtube instead.

[valentinm]

Day 5

Another day without morning wood. Really odd, as I always wake with one... On the other hand I woke up and was really angry because of a dream. Else it has been another day without porn and MB I don't seem to notice the effect of AB myself yet (still waiting for the T-buzz to kick in), but as one of my friends came over today, he said that I looked good, more rested/fresh than normal, and as I feel the same as always, I think it could be a byproduct of AB. I theorize that my body thinks something like: "hey, I haven't had sex in a while, and I need to spread the seeds, so I will boost my appearance, and thereby increase the odds." Or it could just be because of summer

[valentinm]

Day 6

Woke up early this morning, and the wood is back!
Had a business meeting with a potential client today, so spent most of the day in a train. So haven't had the time to MB or watch porn Still waiting for the T-Buzz. But something unusual happened on the train. There were these two girls, and one of them I thought looked good. After I told my friend that I liked her, we started a conversation with them, which I never do ...
She seemed really interested, and my friend who is good at reading people, it's what he do for a living, said she was into me. In fact, we continued the conversation outside the train when we got to our end-station, and they invited us to some art exhibition. Well, she got the web-address for our newly started business, and seemed like she wanted to try it out, so it is possible I will see her again
Normally I don't notice when girls feel attracted by me. It is always my friends that tell me, so I don't know if she was in fact attracted by me, or somehow her subconscious responded to my AB... (And if I do notice, like when it is really obvious, like two girls dancing in front of me, pointing at me and them at the club, I usually get this nervous feeling in the stomach leading to I don't do anything.) Another thing I never do, is to admit I like someone, neither saying it nor acting upon it.
I'm just wondering why it happens now. Is it because I AB that I'm more tuned into noticing girls and their response, or is it just a coincidence? I don't know yet, but maybe in a couple of days.

[valentinm]

Day 7

Today I woke up with a massive morning wood, and thoughts about the girl I meet yesterday. Have been occupied all day, as I held a surprise party for one of my close friends, and picked up my new bed, so no time for any thoughts about MB.
I deleted all porn and links on my computer today, not that I want to see it now, but so I will not fall in easily in a weak moment (and so that people at the party could use my computer without me being nervous )
I still don't feel any mood change... Not an increased horniness or anything. I find it quite odd, as according to science, testosterone-production tops on the 7th day of AB, and then decreases. So if it is testosterone that is responsible for "horniness", and I don't feel anything on the day it peaks, can I get it, or is something wrong.... (I know, that according the studies the peak can also fall on day 6 and 8, but the normal is day 7.) I guess I will just have to wait and see...

[valentinm]

Day 0

Okay, yesterday morning I woke up and really had an urge to MB. Luckily I had plans for the whole day, so I took a quick cold shower, and went for a walk. However, the party I was supposed to go to was cancelled, and all of a sudden I had all this spare time... I really don't know what the trigger was, but all of a sudden I was on the web surfing for porn... I had this inner monologue that was like "I can see, but I am not allowed to MB, and allowed to edge but not look at porn." Then when I was really close I planned to take another shower, but I failed...

[valentinm]

Day 1

I have just done 6 days of AB. It was much easier not to MB and watch porn this time, but instead of getting an almost uncontrollable urge to MB on day 8, this time I got it on day 6...

Another difference I have noticed is the number of "sexual" dreams I have. (By sexual I don't mean sex dreams, but rather nudity.) My guess is that they are triggered by not watching porn... I had one yesterday, where one person I look up to (a journalist) showed how he looks naked, and one today where 2 ladies where very interested in looking at me, while I was peeing... I haven't had these kind of dreams before, so I must do something right

This round of AB I will try another tactic, by setting goals instead of just see how long I can go without MB. As the first time I managed to reach day 8, my first goal is 10 days.

[valentinm]

Day 6

I have been pretty busy this week, and that luckily means reduced time to think about MB and porn I have started a new workout schedule including lifting weights and yoga, so I'm really sore and tired all the time, with no urge to MB.
I will be away for the weekend, with no time to be alone, so my 10-day goal should be realistic.

[valentinm]

Day 8

I got through the weekend without MB This time around, I haven't felt the overwhelming urge to masturbate, but that's properly due to I haven't been on my own. What I have noticed today is, that I go to the toilet more often (and I drink the same), so that must show that the tanks are full... And another thing I have noticed is a tingling in my penis, either the testicles or in my glans... Not a bad feeling, however it is rather distracting when your attention gets directed towards the tingling all the time...

Okay, so today I was at an indoor swimming pool with my family for 6 hours. When we left, I was really exhausted, and couldn't really focus, because my blood was circulating (ended the session with 30 min sauna (saunagus))... However when we left, I got an erection in the shower (here we only have public showers), and it was too obvious and couldn't be hidden, so my brother-in-law saw it I was embarrassed, but just joked, and said that "the hot water really got the blood flowing", and he said, "oh yeah, I have noticed". He was really cool about it. I have never got a boner in the shower before, so I think it happened because I AB. Actually, I normally get the feeling, that I will get a boner when I get under the hot shower after a long swim, but I just think of something else, and it never happens. Today, I couldn't get it down by thought...
2 days left, and I have reached my goal

[Redsoxinmd]

Keep up the good work, man! I'm rooting for you!

[valentinm]

Day 9

Thanks for the support Redsoxinmd

Only 12 hours to my first goal But the last day have been really challenging. I just have this massive urge to cum. It actually started around yesterday midnight, and since then I have been edging a lot, and watching porn... I have been in a circle of: 1. Getting an erection 2. searched for porn 3. edging 4. being mad at myself 5. going to the toilet and cooled balls and penis with cold water. 5 minutes later I would repeat.
One a side note, I have had this feeling of a cold jolt running through my right testicle several times today, each lasting 1-4 sec...It has occurred both with and without erection, and started before the cooling mentioned in the circle.