CalAsian's Baby Step Log

[CalAsianGuy]

Greetings,

I stumbled on to this site while looking for more information on Wet Dreams. I've scrolled through a few pages of logs from random people, and I find a lot of the posts are quite motivating. A lot of frustration at times too, but for the most part, a lot of overall improvement for those who try to commit. I will try to commit to this log system, but given the nature of this topic, I may need to disclose information I'm generally not too keen on sharing with the average person. Having said that, What disclose may also be uncomfortable to the average reader; sorry in advance.

Just a little background on my wet dreams history. Both of my wet dreams experiences happened around the age of 12-13, early in the morning. I remember being woken up in the morning, with a lot of fluid pressure collecting around my crotch. I was initially flaccid both times, but upon physical contact, an overwhelming surge of great pleasure and pain erupted from my penis. It slowly became hard, and in the process, a lot of semen poured out and soaked my undergarment and pajamas. My balls were aching quite heavily after, but I still went back to sleep. I remember cleaning up was quite a chore after as well.

I discovered masturbation at around 14. From that point on, wet dreams never existed. I masturbated almost every day until recently, when my friend asked me randomly if I wanted to participate in NoFap December. I was a bit uncomfortable at the time because masturbation was always a private topic, and in a way, it seemed like I was indirectly getting forced to admit that I did masturbate. I didn't expect anyone to guess, but, as the stereotype goes, every guy supposedly masturbates. I agreed to participate but I could not abstain the entire month. There have been too many times where I was constantly horny and erect, and precum would just pump out every so often. And of course, I give into temptation because it just felt too good. I managed to stop for about 8 days, but failed miserable because I decided to edge and obviously went overboard. It felt amazing, and the volume was spectacular, but I was upset because I could not commit to my goal. However, it was an improvement. For the remaining duration of the December, I abstained for about 7 days, and released on the 7th night before sleeping. At the time, abstaining for me didn't really help me think more calmly, clearly or composed, as some have claimed to be the benefits. Instead, it made me feel very erratic, and constantly hungering for pleasure. On the topic of pleasure, I also forgot to mention I watched a lot of pornography while masturbating, but I've completely eliminated pornography ever since I decided to abstain. NoFap December was not a fail after all.

Now, I'm aiming to abstain for two weeks, instead of one. Currently on day 6, last time I masturbated was on Wednesday January 9th, 2013 from giving in to sheer sexual arousal. I'm also going to try something a little different this time. Instead of associating sexual arousal to relief via masturbation, I am going to simply enjoy the feeling of being horny, and convince myself it's a nice feeling, instead of a "problem" I need to resolve. A different perspective, essentially. I have read posts where people found things to distract themselves once they feel the onset of sexual arousal, but to be honest, I like feeling horny. I like that surge of "energy", if you know what I mean, lol. I generally don't find myself feeling horny when I am preoccupied with work at work, but quite the opposite when I am on breaks, or just sitting there idling. We'll see. Anyhow, not sure if my confession imposed any discomfort to anyone. For me, distraction might be more of a milestone, in a different direction. For now, it's all about self control.

Anyhow, that's long enough for an introductory post. I don't know if I will post every day, but I'll try to be consistent. I've also exposed quite a bit of information about myself to a lot of people I do not know. Hopefully it doesn't scare off too many people. I swear, I am not this creepy in real life, haha. If I have not scared you yet, the next comment might; Writing this post has kept me quite hard the entire time. And of course, there's precum flowing. The slightest deviating thought can spark me up, it seems. Oh the joy of being horny.

Nice to meet everyone, by the way, lol.

[Texanguy]

Welcome! It sounds like you are moving in the right direction. I think it's normal to eventually come to the realization that MB actually leads to an end to enjoyable horny and erotic feelings. It can be more fun and expressive not to waste it in MB, which, when you think about it, has to be a natural and built in capacity that frequent MB 'short circuits'.

Another thing to realize is that our brains and bodies are built such that MB is not necessary at all. Horniness and sexuality can indeed be expressed and enjoyed without it. Many guys around the world don't MB at all. Also, wet dreams exist for a reason, and they are indeed a different experience from MB. A good WD will be more intense, exciting, and longer lasting than MB, as if it is indeed the preferred and more natural outlet. Another big difference between MB and WDs is the lack of 'letdown hormones' after a WD. You can wake up after an intense WD, having ejaculated an incredible amount of semen, and still feel excited and horny, as well as happy and rewarded. Another thing abstaining from MB can do is separate horniness and arousal from always getting an erection. You don't need to have an erection to feel it.

It's interesting that after decades of "Everybody MB's all the time" that "No Fap" is becoming more popular. People are challenging themselves, enjoying it, and finding positive and pleasurable effects. More than a few guys trade MB for more natural and pleasurable WDs.

I think the right way to abstain from MB isn't to just 'resist' it, but rather it is to explore and move beyond it. Good luck in your journey!

[marshall73]

Welcome, CalAsian. I'm relatively new to the board too. And good luck with your ABing and self-realization you are about to experience. You are not alone. Look, I'm about to hit 40, and I'm learning and experiencing a lot of this for the first time too.

Texanguy, great response. You summed up in a few sentences exactly what I've discovered and felt the past few weeks. It really is an eye-opening experience, sort of a new way of viewing ourselves, and yeah, our sexuality. One that I feel, so far, is superior to MB. I'm glad I found this forum. The reinforcement helps, seeing that other people are experiencing the same things helps too.

[LuvsCurvy]

I find it both bewildering and entirely logical that a simple change can make such a difference to people's lives. Bewildering because one change is almost never enough when you are in a self improvement exercise, and logical because it's probably one of the most powerful forces we as adults will deal with regularly.

[Muz]

Welcome to the forum! Texanguy put it wel, and it seems your in the right frame of mind. Good luck getting wet dreams instead of masturbating!

It's totally fair that you don't want to share certain bits of info about your personal life. Just say what your comfortable with, we understand.

[CalAsianGuy]

I did not expect so many replies after my first day. Thank you everyone for their encouragement and advice. I look forward to future guidance and suggestions from everyone. I may or may not have any words of wisdom of my own, but I will try to contribute.

Update for today. I went to sleep a bit later than usual. I was woken up by a rock solid erection at around 6AM, and could not fall back asleep until 6:45ish. Again, a substantial amount of precum, and wave after wave of sexual arousal. Other than my one spike in the morning, my arousal level throughout the day was manageable. I was generally not aroused because I was productively doing my research in the morning and afternoon, and was constantly engaging students in my lab earlier in the evening. Small spikes here and there; especially when I was on break. Overall, enjoying the horny feeling still. As a side note; I feel quite full too.

I think I am slowly understanding what it means to "redirect" the energy to a more useful purpose. By no means am I channeling my sexual arousal through work, but more along the lines of... I'm not entirely sure. I can't put a finger on it, but I'm sure I can better explain what I mean when I progress.

Thank you again, guys.

[CalAsianGuy]

Today is day 7. My previous record is matched. In a few hours, it'll be the beginning of day 8. Tomorrow and subsequent days of abstaining will be new records.

I went to sleep early last night. I did not wake up in the middle of the night at all. However, I was greeted in the morning by a nice and solid morning wood, and some precum flow. I decided today was a good day to trim down south, and boy did I have fun. After cleaning, I noticed my balls were hanging differently. First off, they looked more full. It doesn't hang any lower, but it looks more well rounded and plump. But anyhow, today I felt horny at random times throughout the day. I definitely feel more "full" than yesterday too. Today was also another productive day at work as well.

Now that I have a general idea of how I will allocate my time at work, I will slowly incorporate workout sessions in my schedule. It seems like a lot of people benefited well from abstaining and lifting. Any thoughts or opinions about this topic?

Also, I wanted to put the PMO counter in my signature, but apparently url codes are not permitted? Just wondering how other people in the forum were able to attach their PMO counter to their signature.

Thank you in advance!

[LuvsCurvy]

Also, I wanted to put the PMO counter in my signature, but apparently url codes are not permitted? Just wondering how other people in the forum were able to attach their PMO counter to their signature.

Thank you in advance!

Just include the section from there it says [img]until[/img] and it will work.

[CalAsianGuy]

I guess I will be posting as regularly as possible. Though my posting consistency may drop later on when I am busier.

Thank you LuvsCurvy, I now have my timer on my signature. It's about 1hr fast but soon, I will be on Day 9. Surprisingly, I was not all that horny in the morning. It was only after I arrived at work when I started to act up. Too much eye candy, maybe? Regardless, today was also very productive. My package is filling up my undergarment more. My sensitivity greatly increased.

Contributing to my thought process about "redirecting" THE energy to a more useful cause. I noticed that I do not feel horny when I am exhausted, vice versa. So maybe whatever hormones that are pumping through my system is stimulating me; ie, giving me spurts of energy to be productive? Still need to think on this one for a bit. I could read scientific articles but that's too easy.

But anyhow, time to sleep. Let's see what will happen tonight.

[CalAsianGuy]

Still day 9, almost 10. This morning was the same as the last. No wood, no waking up in the middle of the night because of erections. However, I had spikes of sexual arousal while at work. I noticed something different over the past two days though. I was not too sure about it yesterday, but I am quite certain today.

I cannot really describe it in words, but if anything, it feels like an upgraded horny feeling. I'm sure everyone is familiar with the feeling before orgasm? It feels similar to that, downgraded. A slight tingly-orgasm sensation, different from the tingly sensation from feeling "normal" horny. Does anyone have any idea what I am talking about? Or am I completely alone on this?

I am also going to set a minor goal. I notice I unconsciously touching and/or adjust myself frequently at home, when I change into my pajamas. I also don't wear any undergarment after changing into pajamas, so when I feel horny, I notice it a lot more. Touching is just easier at home because there's no one staring, and there's nothing that really "gets in the way." So my minor goal over the next few weeks will be to try and not touch my penis unless necessary. I keep succumbing to simple pleasures.

[CalAsianGuy]

It's been awhile, people of WDF.

A quick update to current day: Saturday was major horny. Sunday was the same too. I made the mistake of experimenting with Isabella Valentine, and it was an absolute mistake. I laid in bed, put earphones on, and just followed her instructions. The amount of precum I produced was unbelievable. I did ejaculate, but I needed a little "push" so I used my hands, just a tiny bit. It felt absolutely amazing, the volume was immense; it was just wave after wave of liquid and pleasure. I did not regret it in any way, but after that experience, I think a reset is in order. Today, 12 minutes after midnight, marks day 4. Back on track to 21 days of abstinence!

A few quick notes. Listening to Isabella Valentine Jackpot was interesting. I could not reach orgasm listening to it alone, but there were many dry contractions. Ridiculously hard as well. It was a very interesting experience. However, I don't think I will be listening to her any time soon. I noticed that my erections have greatly reduced after. The first two days; complete limp. Today was the first day where I felt horny, and had erections. (Yay!)

To horny days, and a successful abstinence period!

[CalAsianGuy]

Today is day 5.

Nothing too special today. No new discoveries. I will be busy the following 6 or so weeks, so I most likely will not be masturbating either. Unless I get too stressed out. But I generally don't masturbate when I am stressed. a-okay. Reaching 21 days shouldn't be too hard now! Or so I anticipate.

Happy Wet Dreams, everyone!