NeverHad1's Log

[NeverHad1]

I honestly don't remember how I tripped over the site but when I did it occurred to me that I've never had a wet dream. I asked some friends and everyone else has, but most haven't had one since their teen years or since they figured out how to MB. I know the first time I MB'd I actually had ejaculate so I figured it out after everything was turned on but I never had anything spontaneous before that. I kind of feel like I'm missing out, so I decided to join the site and try to get to my first WD. I've read over tons of the logs and some suggestions. It seems like there is some conflicting advice on whether to stimulate (either or both physically or mentally) during the day. Based on what I've read and what's realistic for me my plan is as follows.

I'm going to AB until I have a WD. I have a partner so if we engage in sexual activity I just will be sure not to ejaculate during that. I care more about if he orgasms than me so that is fine with me for a short period of time. I will not edge or MB. I will only touch my dick for showering, bathroom et cetera. I think I will start wearing underwear since it looks like this creates quite a mess and my partner, who thinks this is kind of silly, probably doesn't want to wake up covered in spooge. While I'm going to minimize physical stimulation I'm not going to adjust mental stimulation. I'm not going to intentionally go out and look at porn or hot images for the hell of it, but I'm not going to make a conscious effort to avoid it either. Likewise I'm not going to make a conscious effort to shun sexual thoughts during the day. When they happen, they happen.

It took me a little while to notice there are quite a number of minors on the site as well. That was quite unexpected and a bit unsettling. Not having children I'm not used to having frank sexual conversations with underage people. I don't think I'll start now just because the internet makes lines blurry from third party perspectives even if everything is above board. I do wish them well on their quest for information about this topic though, and glad others are more comfortable helping them out than I am.

Anyway, here goes nothing.

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 1

Well, my first day AB'ing. I'm trying to get the terminology down. I decided I'd keep track of the time since several things, like a lot of the other journals I've seen. You can see the counter below. I'd like to convert to the terminology everyone else is using but that'll come with time. There is a lot to digest. So I'm going to track how long I've been abstaining, how long since the first time I indulged in a porn watching session, how long since I masturbated, how long since I've edged, days since I last orgasmed. Since I don't intend to cut off sex from my partner I may end up orgasming at that time. It seems others have spontaneous orgasms so that would include that as well. MB'ing would be pleasuring myself to completion, whereas edging would be doing that to build up urge and then stopping. I hope that all makes sense, but if it doesn't I'll change it

So my first day was very easy. Despite doing a lot of reading on the subject and chatting and viewing lots of hot pictures they post on FB or something. It is interesting to make note of how often the urge is to touch myself when I see that and I have to stop. I haven't felt the urge to MB or even need to orgasm, but I did orgasm twice in one hour yesterday. Since I have a partner I'm not going to go into total AB mode since I have at the very least body contact daily if not sexual interaction. I wonder if that will help or hinder my progress, time will tell...

Days AB: 1
Days Since Porn: 1
Days Since MB: 1
Days Since Edge: 1
Days Since Orgasm: 1

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 2

Second day of AB'ing is now complete. While I ended up falling into some porn watching throughout the day, I was able to keep my hands off my dick except for utilitarian purposes, didn't edge and didn't have sex so didn't orgasm. There was too much idle time and too many off roads from links friends sent and so on. As I said, I don't intend to intentionally avoid porn or provocative images, but I don't want to settle into watching it either. Regardless of whether mental stimulation like that hurts or helps WD I think that it will be too easy to break the AB and I don't see the point in indulging if not for MB'ing.

Even just one day in it seems my mind is providing some interesting reactions to the same stimuli. During the night I noticed that when I woke up about to touch my dick I would hesitate and stop. However if my partner brushed up against my body, or if I did end up touching myself, it was almost electrifying. The same thing was happening throughout the day with subtle vibrations or frictions. It was almost like the head of my dick was wired up. I felt a constant nagging extra heaviness down there. While watching some porn earlier for the first time ever I had some precut form. I hadn't gotten more than half hard tops, and it wasn't very long into watching any porn but when I got up to take a leak shortly thereafter there was a pea sized spot where my urethra was. I can count on one hand how many times I've gotten precum outside of edging, and it was always with some good foreplay leading up to some activity. So to have it be so easily there is confounding to me.

My partner bought me some new FTL briefs to wear when I sleep until I have my WD (I'm choosing to use optimistic language). After reading about some of the messes people have made I've decided I'll go from sleeping nude to wearing underwear. I like tighter fitting underwear when I do that so some nice briefs will do it. We'll see how it goes sleeping with underwear on for a change .

Days AB: 2
Days Since Porn: 0
Days Since MB: 2
Days Since Edge: 2
Days Since Orgasm: 2

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 3

On the road so slept alone. I woke up around 2:30 thinking it was almost time to wake up and I was mostly hard. When realized the time I went back to sleep but kept waking up a few more times, at times I can't recall. I was at most half hard each of those times. The underwear I got yesterday is a bit tight. When I went to take them off to start my morning routine it was like my dick was unfurling. That's probably a good thing actually since cuts down on friction. I may return the second pack and get one size up though...

My dick got half hard from just the water in the shower and from vibrations from driving, however the overall sensations weren't as electrifying as yesterday. Overall my libido level was quite low, probably due to the fact I was heavily distracted at work. However I'm feeling a lot more heaviness in my dick and nuts. I was able to not look at any porn at all toady, so got to move that counter forward, so bonus.

Days AB: 3
Days Since Porn: 1
Days Since MB: 3
Days Since Edge: 3
Days Since Orgasm: 3

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 4

I kept waking up around 1:30-2:00 for some reason. I'm mostly hard at that point an think it's my morning wake up call, but it's not. By the time I woke up at 6 when I was supposed to I was at best half hard. Throughout the night when I'd wake up intermittently I'd be aware of sensations on my dick like it wanted me to do something to release some pressure but I don't.

Today was actually a rather blah day. Not only did I feel no urge to MB or look at porn, but I also didn't have any of those sensations for the past few days. I doubt I've gotten over a hump at 4 days but it was interesting how low all those drivers were.

I have wondered how much of the AB'ing from porn and MB'ing is about the rewiring of the stimulation the brain uses for arousal. For many years now I couldn't get good EQ on my own. If I'm by myself I needed porn. If I was with a partner that would be fine, unless I started doing some mental comparison with myself to things I'd seen in porn. Could all of this AB'ing be about rewiring my brain to be back to more natural stimuli for arousal? It's an interesting thing when you don't give a shit when and where you get hard. The more you worry about it the worse that problem gets. A few weeks of not worrying about it may actually settle that problem out on its own, perhaps.

Days AB: 4
Days Since Porn: 2
Days Since MB: 4
Days Since Edge: 4
Days Since Orgasm: 4

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 5

I think I had a dream about waking up around 3 am, because I remember looking at a clock in the room that doesn't exist. I also had some vivid dreams right before I woke up, but none of them were sexual. I was a bit better than half hard when I woke up. That accelerated when I took my dick out of my underwear to take a leak. These briefs aren't that tight though. That's the second time that's happened. I wonder what is up with that...

Horniness level all day was pretty low and the sensations I had the first couple of days are all gone. I haven't had the urge to MB or look at porn at all. I wonder if this is having the reverse effect of cutting down on testosterone for me.

I think no porn and MB is good to center oneself into a body-centric frame of mind. Without the overly idealized view of other guys from the movies being burned into ones head or the constant MB'ing perhaps body image issues can melt away.


Days AB: 5
Days Since Porn: 3
Days Since MB: 5
Days Since Edge: 5
Days Since Orgasm: 5

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 6

Status quo on the morning and through the night wood--really not any that I recall. Again had some interesting dreams but none sexual. I will say that after waking up my dick is kind of jumpy to stimuli though…

Another ho-hum day. I didn't feel especially horned up, urge to MB or look at porn. The closest thing to that was looking forward to putting on my special sleeping briefs and hoping for progress towards a WD. A friend sent me a link to a porn movie that I did watch some of but didn't MB to. I'm therefore going to set the porn counter back.

Days AB: 6
Days Since Porn: 0
Days Since MB: 6
Days Since Edge: 6
Days Since Orgasm: 6

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 7

Status quo on the morning and through the night wood--really not any that I recall. I did wake up a few times from some weird dreams and at most I'd be half hard. I do recall there being a sexual-like dream, but I don't remember the contents of it. Maybe that's the signs of a first stirring. The upshot is that throughout looking at some porn yesterday and not touching my dick, and for the past several days, I have never had a full rock hard erection. My dick will get harder, but not hard. I wonder if this is a case of things having to go down before they go up?

Could it be that my brain needs that much rewiring on stimulation? Since as far back as I can remember my MB routine was to break out porn, start tugging, and then do whatever I was going to do until i was done. Perhaps my imagination and the self-stimulating pathways are so atrophied that without the stimulation and the porn it doesn't know how to get the ball rolling so to speak.

Today had no real major urges or problems either. My dick was kinda jumpy but not anything too bad.

Days AB: 7
Days Since Porn: 1
Days Since MB: 7
Days Since Edge: 7
Days Since Orgasm: 7

[Rey92]

Still cool! Stay cool!

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 8

Last night was highly frustrating. I think after 2 am I was waking up every 20-30 minutes with the urge to either grind the mattress or manipulate myself. I wasn't fully hard by the time I woke up. However several times my dick was sort of tangled between the flaps of the fly on the briefs, so I think I am waking up as the erection is subsiding. It also goes to prove that it's best not to worry about how erect you are as that makes it impossible to get or stay erect. When I woke up half or better hard I'd want to see if I would get fully hard before going back to sleep so would try to think of something hot, but nothing happened. The last time before waking up, I started thinking about some random thought instead and I got fully hard. Just let the dick do what the dick will do.

The big problem I have now is that my balls feel achy from last night. This was the first time since Monday I slept in bed with my partner, so I blame him for riling me up by sleeping there ...

Overall the day was pretty normal. I did have some more random partial erections and low hang but nothing dramatic. In fact everything feels pretty normal just I haven't had a release in eight days.


Days AB: 8
Days Since Porn: 0
Days Since MB: 8
Days Since Edge: 8
Days Since Orgasm: 8

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 9

I went to bed very late and woke up early. I did have some good wood during one of the times I woke up in the middle of the night but other than that woke up flaccid in the morning and didn't have any erotic dreams that I recall. During the night my dick feels somewhat electrified, like touching it just slightly too much will make it go over the edge even though it's not hard. I wonder if that means i'm setting myself for an SE if I'm not careful rather than a WD.

I've had some weird dick sensations throughout the day. While making some breakfast I noticed I was sort of gyrating my hips a bit and was getting harder and harder. I had been subconsciously stimulating my dick by it rubbing on the inside of my sweat pants. Later in the day there were some times when I'd get a surging feeling and then nothing. Still I haven't had any major blue ball, rock hard erections, caginess or anything like that.

I did sort of feel the urge to MB a little bit but then decided not to. I wonder what the night will bring?

Days AB: 9
Days Since Porn: 0
Days Since MB: 9
Days Since Edge: 9
Days Since Orgasm: 9

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 10

No erotic dreams that I could think of. I do recall waking up once around 4 am but don't recall checking my harden levels or doing anything with my dick. When I got up finally in the morning I was half hard at best. As I was coming out of my stupor I sort of involuntarily ground my hips into the bed and became rock hard instantly. It stayed like that for a little while.

My horniness today was actually up from where it has been in the recent past. Also, when running today I was far more aware of the sensations on my dick than I have been before. I'm still not making as much progress with the porn as with the rest, but things are coming along. If ten days ago you would have told me that not MB'ing for 10 days would be as easy as it has I would have called you a liar.

Days AB: 10
Days Since Porn: 1
Days Since MB: 10
Days Since Edge: 10
Days Since Orgasm: 10

[NeverHad1]

(Posted the morning after, sorry...)

Round 1 Day 11

I decided to do an experiment and try to capture how many erections I can get in a single night. I did it at the last minute because my room was so hot and I was going to have to sleep without covers anyway. For my first try it actually worked pretty well, from a video perspective. I can see variations in scrotal state as well as penis state. I didn't get a completely unrested sleep. I did wake up periodically to check on the video. I'll have to test very long duration video capture to avoid that. However over the 3 hours I I did the video capture I did not get one full erection! Perhaps later in the evening I did. I got two semi-erections but that was it. I turn out to be actually a very sound sleeper. I'm going to try to redo this but with long johns, since i did get cold later in the night and thus had to stop, and a sleeping mask to make a more rested sleep. Maybe like that I'll capture a full evening and uninterrupted sleep cycles. It makes me think that perhaps all this AB is causing lower not higher testosterone levels.

…

Horniness levels throughout the day were a bit higher but still within bounds. Especially earlier in the day however my balls were feeling a bit full and my dick highly sensitive. I can see what some of the people are talking about with sensations while having a BM, although I don't have any of the leaking that they talk about. I ended up MB'ing a little bit to some porn. After having no erections in the videos and not remembering the last time I was really rock hard consciously I sort of psyched myself out. Of course that means I couldn't get super rock hard from the porn/MB combo either. I wasn't close to orgasming nor did I want to keep going, so I didn't get into any danger zone territories.


Days AB: 11
Days Since Porn: 0
Days Since MB: 0
Days Since Edge: 11
Days Since Orgasm: 11

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 12

Well the evening experiment went a little better. With a sleeping mask and a warmer shirt I certainly got more sleep, but still by 4 am or so I just shut everything down and went to sleep for real. I know I had some weird dreams towards the end of my last video sequence. That was of looking for some big insect in some friend's grungy basement or something. It was a weird dream, not a single erotic dream that I could remember during that sequence. However I did have one during my non-video regular sleep. In the video at most I captured another half up job and that's it. Speaking with someone else who tried this apparently this was a problem they had too even though they don't have any EQ issues in real life. In the video I get lots of up and down motion of my balls and pulsing but it never seems to want to ever go beyond 50% hard, then again, I'm surprised that for most of the night it's a fully relaxed flaccid too.

On my almost final wake up I woke up from an erotic dream with an extremely hard erection. The dream was twofold but all revolved around going to a coworker/friend's wedding. Someone the guy in the room next to me was this really hot smooth British guy that wanted to mess around. He snuck into my room and we were messing around doing stuff. We never got really into it in any deep level, but I noticed that it looked like he had been around a bit, which had me cautious. Then, and this is where dreams can be funny things, he grabbed this kitten that was walking around and put it in the cubby part of the head board. It was one of those compartmented headboards that were popular many years ago, although the one in the middle of this one will fill with water. He was actually going to try to drown the kitten. I was appalled and stopped that and then kicked him out, which he was flabbergasted by. He had no idea what I was upset about. My sister walked by as he stormed out and I explained the situation to her (I can't recall if I was wearing clothes or not) to see if I over reacted. A bit over it I walked down to the kitchen area of this big mansion like B&B that we were staying in to get something to eat. On the way there I ran into my coworker that was walking back but he was buck naked. I said hello but realized I'd never seen his dick before and that I thought it was really nice looking. As I'm getting my breakfast I run into his twin brother, that I didn't know he had. He was wearing red shorts. All I could think of was I wonder if he looks exactly the same underneath the shorts too, but I couldn't figure out how to determine that. At that point I woke up with a raging hard on.

I ended up going back to sleep and waking up a couple more times over quick succession. Each time i woke up I was fondling myself, although I was no more than half up at that point. I'm not sure if the dream was induced by me trying to get wood yesterday with MB and porn or because I'm now twelve days into this whole experiment. Either way I was happy to have it. I do think I need to make a far more concerted effort to stop looking at the porn though. If a positive side effect of AB is going to be overall better EQ and stamina I have a feeling that is going to be a big part of it.

...

(warning, I'm going to describe what sort of guy I'm attracted to and such. If gay stuff bothers you, stop reading right now).

Today I was actually on a generally low sex drive level. I wasn't feeling much of anything really. I was also lamenting that I may be hitting this lull from no MB and minimal porn. Ironically the gym seemed to offer a shining light that things may be bottoming out not continuing to degrade. I was on the treadmill at the gym and during my warm up I noticed that the guy in front of me had great legs and a great butt. A couple minutes in I noticed all the flexing and relaxing et cetera and didn't realize how turned on I was getting until I noticed a very intense sensation in my dick (this new sensation that I've had since AB'ing). Better (or worse depending on how you look at it) I was getting hard, well north of half hard. After a couple of minutes between the friction and the growing erection I started feeling much more intense sensations, like I was on the verge of releasing something, so I looked away. Everytime I looked back though it came right back. I didn't get full wood and nothing happened, but that is the first time in an extremely long time, like more than a decade, that I had that sort of reaction. So, despite me moaning and groaning about reduced libido and sex drive and all, I guess maybe this is working . Ending on an up day .

Days AB: 12
Days Since Porn: 1
Days Since MB: 1
Days Since Edge: 12
Days Since Orgasm: 12

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 13

I didn't have any full erotic dreams but I did have some suggestive dreams, and when I woke up before snoozing I had a full bore harden. Maybe I have turned the corner on the road to AB.

I was actually pretty horned up today. I wasn't thinking about sex all the time or anything. However the couple times I thought about something sexual or saw someone I found cute I started getting a real stirring in my pants. Never more than half hard or anything. That seems to be my constant refrain, but still a lot faster to that point. On top of that the slightest sensation was incredibly pleasurable and seemed to force me towards orgasm so quickly. Even when doing some light touching when I had to take a leak it felt like I could have a release of another kind. I hope I'm getting closer to a WD not just SE .

Days AB: 13
Days Since Porn: 2
Days Since MB: 2
Days Since Edge: 13
Days Since Orgasm: 13

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 14

I wish I could recall some of the details, but I know I had several erotic dreams last night. I also know that it when I woke up intermittently that it always seemed that my dick was just a few strokes or 30 seconds away from cumming, even if it wasn't hard. Still no precum, still no leakage of any kind.

…

Damn! It is so easy for me to get sucked into watching a couple quick porn vids. Hit the reset button! The urge to MB was greater this morning than it has been since I started. I'm glad I didn't get too sucked into a media vortex. That was the morning anyway. A busy day at work and feeling under the weather after made me not the least bit interested in any of that (or anything else for that matter).

Days AB: 14
Days Since Porn: 0
Days Since MB: 3
Days Since Edge: 14
Days Since Orgasm: 14

[smilingibis]

Porn is the big trap in the AB game. I noticed about a month ago that I was finding it less and less interesting/arousing. It's the same damned thing every time and pretty unrealistic at that. (I'm dealing with gay porn exclusively.) By looking at porn, you'd think that the world was just packed with hot looking models and gym studs who are getting off everywhere. And what's with all that rimming???

Still, it sounds like you're well underway toward a WD through AB. Just watch out for the porn trap!

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 15

More erotic dreams, of details I can't recall, and waking up with boners in the middle of the night and morning. Most of the boners weren't fully up but the one around 6 was a full bore one. Both nuts are feeling a bit achy this morning too and even half an hour after waking up he still won't go down below 50% hard.

I was pretty sensitive all day, which is pretty typical. At this point basically anything stimulating the head drives me crazy and I get to 50% hard pretty easily, even though full up is much harder to get to. Overall horniness level throughout the day was pretty average actually, but I was heavily distracted.

Days AB: 15
Days Since Porn: 0
Days Since MB: 4
Days Since Edge: 15
Days Since Orgasm: 15

[NeverHad1]

Porn is the big trap in the AB game. I noticed about a month ago that I was finding it less and less interesting/arousing. It's the same damned thing every time and pretty unrealistic at that. (I'm dealing with gay porn exclusively.) By looking at porn, you'd think that the world was just packed with hot looking models and gym studs who are getting off everywhere. And what's with all that rimming???

Still, it sounds like you're well underway toward a WD through AB. Just watch out for the porn trap!

Thankfully the porn trap for me isn't affecting my AB, even though it may be affecting my EQ and achievement of WD. I'm not indulging in it much at all, but if I do more than casually look at a link I call it a trip up and reset that counter. As you can see I have lots of slip ups .

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 16

After a night of drinking and partying until the wee hours I have no idea what I dreamed about if anything. I'm pretty wiped out so far today, so we'll see what it brings.

…

Today I was so exhausted that I didn't have any urges to do anything of any kind, sexual or otherwise. Very easy day from an AB standpoint.

Days AB: 16
Days Since Porn: 1
Days Since MB: 5
Days Since Edge: 16
Days Since Orgasm: 16

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 17

Didn't have any erotic dreams that I can recall, definitely none around the times I woke up or partially woke up. Those dreams were all about family members that passed away and what not so no wood around those either. Throughout the day I was so thoroughly distracted I didn't notice my arousal level either way. The biggest thing is that my head is hyper-sensitive and I feel I could pop off at any time.

I fell off the porn wagon a little bit so knocking that back to zero, but still didn't give me urge to MB.

Days AB: 17
Days Since Porn: 0
Days Since MB: 6
Days Since Edge: 17
Days Since Orgasm: 17

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 18

No erotic dreams that I could recall or serious morning wood. My balls felt achy and my dick hyper sensitive upon waking up. When I was going to sleep it also felt so sensitive, like it would go off totally soft, from just minor friction alone though.

…

Today was highly stressful and busy so once again no time to think about anything sexual, nor were my thoughts like that when I got home. Maybe they will all manifest in my dream.

Days AB: 18
Days Since Porn: 1
Days Since MB: 7
Days Since Edge: 18
Days Since Orgasm: 18

[Rey92]

The thing is, not sure if you gonna like the sensitivity or gonna hate it.

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 19

Well, I ended up sort of edging as I was calling it a night. A friend of mine wanted to do some cam stuff, which I had never down before (just watching). I ended up getting really turned on and did a little edging unconsciously, then more consciously. I never had the urge to full on MB or to orgasm but wanted to document that. I did have some erotic dreams, the details of which escape me, and in the middle of the night did have some good wood but by morning that was all done.

Today was another hectic day where I didn't have time to think much. I'm sort of in a down mood in general which is probably feeding into my overall sexual moods being low and down too.

Days AB: 19
Days Since Porn: 2
Days Since MB: 8
Days Since Edge: 1
Days Since Orgasm: 19

[gone2bed2day]

I have been following along. Sounds like you are doing a great job. Right now, I am a day behind you and about your age. I haven't edges in about a week, buy I don't ever seem to have or remember any erotic dreams. So you notice a lot of bubbbles when you urinate, by chance? I'm not a horny as I'd thought I would be after 18 days, and I'm wondering if I am just wasting my time as if everything is being passed out when I go to the bathroom. Instead.. anyway, good luck!

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 20

Perhaps I'm getting really close to a wet dream. I had several erotic, or erotic like dreams. That included things like walking around more casually naked, or with my pants off anyway. I had some more sexual dreams as well. However in one of those dreams I actually had a wet dream. In the dream I had just been waken up from an erotic dream. I was walking around in one of those post workout hazes, exacerbated by the fact that I was woken up because something had happened in the dream. As it was, after a brief period of time someone pointed out that my underwear was wet, so I reach down and see they are right. I took my underwear off and I couldn't tell what it was. It looked like alien slime or something, really stringy and goopy at the same time. It occurred to me that perhaps I had a wet dream, that's the only thing that made sense. At that point I actually woke up for real, with a raging hard on.

Another busy day at work so didn't pay much attention to my unit. By evening however my balls were feeling kind of achy.

Days AB: 20
Days Since Porn: 3
Days Since MB: 9
Days Since Edge: 2
Days Since Orgasm: 20

[NeverHad1]

I have been following along. Sounds like you are doing a great job. Right now, I am a day behind you and about your age. I haven't edges in about a week, buy I don't ever seem to have or remember any erotic dreams. So you notice a lot of bubbbles when you urinate, by chance? I'm not a horny as I'd thought I would be after 18 days, and I'm wondering if I am just wasting my time as if everything is being passed out when I go to the bathroom. Instead.. anyway, good luck!

Nope I don't notice anything like that, however I don't produce any precum either and you apparently produce a lot. It seems a lot of guys have a significant uptick in precum production while AB'ing. I, for whatever reason, do not.

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 21

Another night of many erotic dreams, including one where I MB'ed a friend to climax in a parking lot. When I woke up in the night I wasn't especially hard, maybe half at best, but I again felt that I was one wrong touch away from popping off instantly. When I did finally wake up I had a raging hard on. In both cases it took some willpower to not let myself go over the edge ever so slightly.

During the day my sex drive was pretty standard, aka low. However there was a moment in the afternoon where my dick brushed up against the inside of my pants when I was afraid it had gone off. The head got as overly sensitive as right before on orgasm and I could swear I felt a surge, but in the end nothing came out, thank god. Time will tell if this evening is the third time of this happening.

Days AB: 21
Days Since Porn: 4
Days Since MB: 10
Days Since Edge: 3
Days Since Orgasm: 21

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 22

Yet again erotic dreams, well dreams of me walking around naked in front of people or more casually than I would in public, raging hard ons and waking up feeling like my dick could go off with the slightest touch. The last time I woke up I wasn't too hard, but my balls are quite achey.

…

The idle mind is the devil's playground. If I believed in actual deities that gave a shit about us I'd take that literally. Actually it's just the mind without something drawing attention will focus on something and might as well be your dick and sex drive. My achey balls have turned into high urges all morning and day. After complaining yesterday to one of the members how I'm not having any of those emission problems others have, I actually had some today. I went to use the bathroom and it sort of felt like I had to take a leak but not really. I did the squeegee of my dick to see if something was there and what came out was a big drop of clear fluid mixed with semen. I've never seen that before! I also have not been fully flaccid all day. Even when supposedly relaxed it seems to be partially filled, less than 50% up but more than totally flaccid. It's very peculiar, and exacerbated by the slightest provocation.

Days AB: 22
Days Since Porn: 5
Days Since MB: 11
Days Since Edge: 4
Days Since Orgasm: 22

[NeverHad1]

Round 1 Day 23

Last night ended after a good party with drinking. I honestly don't remember dreaming anything or waking up. When I did wake up however I was not hard, just this what has become usual slightly engorged self. As I was reading the news and chatting in bed I sort of tickled the underside through my underwear just a little bit and I got fully hard. That's the first time that's happened in awhile. I credit the AB a lot for that. However I also started taking some supplements that I had from back earlier this year when starting to try to do some body building. It's a combination of Tribulus, Horny Goat Weed and some other stuff that supposedly helps boost testosterone production. I think maybe that had something to do with it too.

…

Today I was feeling generally okay but not especially horny or backed up. The idle mind today I think was a bit worn out from yesterday's partying, so no problems to speak of.

Days AB: 23
Days Since Porn: 6
Days Since MB: 12
Days Since Edge: 5
Days Since Orgasm: 23