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The battle continues

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The battle continues

Postby misterjack » Wed Oct 31, 2012 9:41 am

Hi everyone, this is my first post here at the West Dream Forum. I've been addicted to porn for years and want to finally achieve freedom from this addiction. I've experienced wet dreams before while I was abstaining from porn and masturbation, and I want to use this forum and the idea behind it as an encouragement to abstain from masturbation, though it's more a means to an end than an end in its own right. I have many reasons for wanting to quit masturbation & porn. It's an addiction that's had a profound and at times devastating effect on my personal and spiritual well-being. And though I've made considerable progress this year by altering my lifestyle in such a way to eradicate PM from my life, I still haven't managed to abstain for three weeks or more. I hope this forum/journal will help me achieve my goal of being porn & masturbation-free!
misterjack
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Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2012 5:45 am
Location: Europe
Age: 24
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 5
Circumcised or Uncut?: Uncut (Intact)
Precum Production: Some Precum (2-4 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 3
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Boxers
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: N/A - Had a wet dream, but never woke up to see the time.
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 27 Oct 2012
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby cristoff » Wed Oct 31, 2012 9:52 am

GOOD LUCK misterjack! :D

i hope that you keep with your goals on here and write in your journal when you're feeling the tough days kick you in the ass. Giving up this addiction isn't going to be easy by any standard but if it's what you really want you'll do it so my thoughts go out to you on here and i hope this forum can help you in your forward moving development as the person you desire to be. It took me a long time to ween myself off of that old habit but it gets easier with time and your body will enjoy being away from it, i swear that much to be true.
| Best AB to date: 188 |
| 8 WD's in my current 314 day experiment |
| The search for a better me continues... |
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Age: 22
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 10
Circumcised or Uncut?: Circumcised (Cut)
Precum Production: Little Precum (1-2 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 10
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Briefs
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: 5-6 hours
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 30 Aug 2012
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby misterjack » Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:29 am

cristoff wrote:GOOD LUCK misterjack! :D

i hope that you keep with your goals on here and write in your journal when you're feeling the tough days kick you in the ass. Giving up this addiction isn't going to be easy by any standard but if it's what you really want you'll do it so my thoughts go out to you on here and i hope this forum can help you in your forward moving development as the person you desire to be. It took me a long time to ween myself off of that old habit but it gets easier with time and your body will enjoy being away from it, i swear that much to be true.


Thanks for the warm welcome cristoff! I'm glad I found this site thanks to another member of this forum. Just one question, though. I see lots of abbreviations being used here, like those in your signature. Is there any post where I can find an explanation? It's not always obvious to me what they mean.
misterjack
Active Member
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2012 5:45 am
Location: Europe
Age: 24
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 5
Circumcised or Uncut?: Uncut (Intact)
Precum Production: Some Precum (2-4 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 3
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Boxers
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: N/A - Had a wet dream, but never woke up to see the time.
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 27 Oct 2012
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby ColdShower » Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:44 am

Welcome Mr.Jack

I think the main ones are:
AB: abstainance
MB: masturbate
SE: spontaneous ejaculation
WD: wet dream

good luck
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Age: 27
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 0
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Precum Production: Lots of Precum (more than 4 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 10
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: N/A - never had a wet dream before
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 21 Oct 2012
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby cristoff » Wed Oct 31, 2012 10:50 am

ColdShower wrote:Welcome Mr.Jack

I think the main ones are:
AB: abstainance
MB: masturbate
SE: spontaneous ejaculation
WD: wet dream

good luck


these are definitely the ones you'll see a ton on here! but does anyone know where the post or topic is from a while back that has an explanation of all types of acronyms you'll come across on here? i swear there was a question in the FAQ about them but i couldn't find it! and if there isn't a section in there then there definitely should be for new members. Maybe i missed it?
| Best AB to date: 188 |
| 8 WD's in my current 314 day experiment |
| The search for a better me continues... |
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cristoff
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Posts: 70
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Location: Pennsylvania
Age: 22
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 10
Circumcised or Uncut?: Circumcised (Cut)
Precum Production: Little Precum (1-2 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 10
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Briefs
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: 5-6 hours
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 30 Aug 2012
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby Squeeze » Wed Oct 31, 2012 1:44 pm

Welcome, MisterJack, or maybe now that should that be, Mister Doesn't Jack Off, haha ;D

Yeah, I'm with you on the porn/MB habit. It's been an on and off thing for me, too. I backslid with it just last night. You mentioned how it affects your physical and spiritual well being. What are some ways that this habit has negatively affected you in those areas? Reminding yourself of what you want to avoid (those negative consequences) helps. Also, become aware of what your "triggers" are--what types of situations, mindsets, and emotional states you tend to be in when you give in to porn and/or MB. Sometimes we are just horny, but when we are doing it a lot, there's usually more going on than just horniness. There is often some negative emotions there too that we are trying to escape from: stress, anger, feeling lonely, depressed, sad, feeling insecure abt something (a big trigger for me) or just bored. Becoming more aware of those kinds of things can help us be alert to when we might be extra vulnerable to temptation.

There are several good books on the topic you can read, too, hit me up if you'd like some suggestions, though most of the ones I am familiar with are Christian oriented. One cool website with some really good resources is http://www.x3church.com Another one that's been really helpful to me and ver encouraging with guy's stories of abstaining (a secular site) is http://www.yourbrainonporn.com. Lots of great info on the psychological amd physical side of porn/mb/sex addiction.

Know that you are becoming more of a man by facing your demons, and desiring to live a more self-controlled life. This journey will serve you in many ways, sexually amd otherwise! You are a stud, bro! A real stud enjoys his sexuality, hos sexuality doesn't own or control him. You are that man. You just need to tell your Peter who's boss, and he will serve you well. ;)

Those abbreviations are the most common ones you will see on here. The SE term might be new to you, not the most common thing u hear about. jIC, a spontaneous ejaculation is one that you get while awake, bit not due to MB or any kind of intentional stimulation. It just happened on its own. Not common, but some guys who have abstained for a while have had one!

Another unusual term you might come across sometime is "T-buzz." It's short for testosterone buzz amd refers to the super masculine, horny, and energized feeling many guys get after they have abstained for a while. Some guys feel it after a few days, some a week (that's me these days), some two weeks. Then it often comes and goes randomly if you continue to abstain, every guy is different. It comes from have a higher than normal testosterone level in your blood. It's a pretty awesome feeling, haha.

On the flipside, sometimes while abstaining you will go through periods of the opposite: 0 horniness, 0 interest in MB or anything sexual. Not that many boners or anything, so some guys call it the "dead d!ck syndrome," haha. Sounds like a dream come true for a guy trying to break a MB habit, but it can also lead guys to worry if everything is OK down there, and relapse and MB to make sure their penis didn't die or anything! So beware of that temptation, I've given in to that one myself before. It happens to everyone sooner or later, just enjoy the freedom from distraction when it happens and DON'T WORRY! Your body and mind are fine, your libido is just taking a much needed break, one it didn't get when you were watching porn and MB all the time. When you least expect it, your T-Buzz will return in full force. Just trust that your mind and body know how to regulate themselves when given the chance. :)

Your profile to the right says you've had 5 WDs before. When did those happen? Were you abstaining for a while or no? What is the longest amnt of time you have gone w/out MB since you were old enough to MB regularly?
Current Day of Abstaining:1 (upd8 8/22/13)

recent abstention times: 4 days
Squeeze
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Age: 38
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 8
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Precum Production: Lots of Precum (more than 4 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 5
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Boxers
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: 6-7 hours
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 20 Jun 2010
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby Eleazar » Wed Oct 31, 2012 5:30 pm

Hi MisterJack,

Welcome to WDF! The guys have given you a good introduction and summary about the terms we use here and what you can expect.

Here are more abbreviations:
JO = jack off
Ej = ejaculate/ejaculation
SJ = sleep jerk = sleep masturbation

There are one or two threads on SJ in the main forum which you can check out.

Welcome once again, buddy, and all the best on your journey!

E
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
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Eleazar
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Age: 27
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 100
Circumcised or Uncut?: Circumcised (Cut)
Precum Production: No Precum
Average time to ejaculation normally: 15
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Nude - no underwear
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: yes
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: 5-6 hours
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby misterjack » Thu Nov 01, 2012 10:29 am

Squeeze wrote:Welcome, MisterJack, or maybe now that should that be, Mister Doesn't Jack Off, haha ;D

Yeah, I'm with you on the porn/MB habit. It's been an on and off thing for me, too. I backslid with it just last night. You mentioned how it affects your physical and spiritual well being. What are some ways that this habit has negatively affected you in those areas? Reminding yourself of what you want to avoid (those negative consequences) helps.


Hi Squeeze, I appreciate your thoughtful response! To answer your question as to how it's affected me negatively both physically and spiritually - simply put, it depletes your body and also makes you feel depleted, i.e. empty. Repeatedly failing to eradicate MB from my life wrecked my self-confidence, made me feel like an incorrigible hypocrite, and at times lead to a defeatist and cynical attitude that discouraged me from pursuing spiritual, personal and social growth. I often become so insecure and anxious I became a recluse using P/MB as an escape. Naturally it's also had a negative physical impact due to reduced testosterone levels, little social interaction and general passivity. I'm describing the darkest times I've experienced here. It sure hasn't always been like that, thank goodness, but quite frankly it's fairly easy to return to that state of affairs again when the going gets tough.

Squeeze wrote:Know that you are becoming more of a man by facing your demons, and desiring to live a more self-controlled life. This journey will serve you in many ways, sexually amd otherwise! You are a stud, bro! A real stud enjoys his sexuality, hos sexuality doesn't own or control him. You are that man. You just need to tell your Peter who's boss, and he will serve you well. ;)

Your profile to the right says you've had 5 WDs before. When did those happen? Were you abstaining for a while or no? What is the longest amnt of time you have gone w/out MB since you were old enough to MB regularly?


Agreed, I'm all in favor of mastering my vices and being in control. It takes lots of self-discipline, though. As to the WD's I've experienced, that was just an estimate of the number of WD's I've consciously experienced during my life. The most recent ones happened during attempts at AB after about two weeks or after a couple of days of abstaining following excessive porn binges. Sometimes they were so vivid they actually lead me to browse for porn! I suppose that's because they were porn flashbacks more than anything else. I do recall one WD that was so vivid I felt like I'd had real sex and it was really great. At any rate, I think the longest amount of time I've gone without MB was about a couple of months, but that was years ago. In more recent times, about two or three weeks, but it's really hard for me to achieve... Lately I've been hovering around 4-5 days max. This is day #4, btw.
misterjack
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Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2012 5:45 am
Location: Europe
Age: 24
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 5
Circumcised or Uncut?: Uncut (Intact)
Precum Production: Some Precum (2-4 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 3
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Boxers
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: N/A - Had a wet dream, but never woke up to see the time.
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 27 Oct 2012
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby misterjack » Thu Nov 01, 2012 1:50 pm

I'm afraid I screwed up just now. I fell asleep with my laptop nearby, teased myself and ended up watching porn. I feel guilty and disappointed since I'd just reached 4 days without MB. I feel ill and I made it worse by binging on porn. I'm starting a new attempt tomorrow and will read up on WD's and what I can do to avoid MB. For one thing, I'll have to stop randomly browsing late in the evening. I should probably also stop checking out pictures of beautiful women. I must beat this!
misterjack
Active Member
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2012 5:45 am
Location: Europe
Age: 24
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 5
Circumcised or Uncut?: Uncut (Intact)
Precum Production: Some Precum (2-4 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 3
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Boxers
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: N/A - Had a wet dream, but never woke up to see the time.
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 27 Oct 2012
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby Eleazar » Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:14 pm

I'm glad that you are going to continue AB'ing, misterjack. You just have keep on keeping on. Have you identified what, besides curiousity, predisposes you to look at porn? Also, you might want to start dissociating porn and mb from each other. I am as anti-mb as anyone can be. My life story, however, shows that I came to look at porn and mb as two different practices independent of each other to a certain extent. I would watch or read porn and mb some time later and not recall the images or literature I read when I mb'd. So, if you ever look at porn again, try not to mb to it and hold out for as long as you can. Also don't stress about it as distressing as it is and will be.

Be strong, bro.
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
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Eleazar
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Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2012 5:13 am
Age: 27
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 100
Circumcised or Uncut?: Circumcised (Cut)
Precum Production: No Precum
Average time to ejaculation normally: 15
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Nude - no underwear
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: yes
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: 5-6 hours
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby Squeeze » Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:15 pm

Sorry to hear that but just consider it a learning experience. Sounds like you just identified some of your triggers: late night internet browsing, checking out pics of hot women, etc. Now you are more self aware to avoid those things. Get right back up on that horse!
Current Day of Abstaining:1 (upd8 8/22/13)

recent abstention times: 4 days
Squeeze
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Posts: 947
Joined: Tue Nov 27, 2007 11:45 am
Location: Oklahoma
Age: 38
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 8
Circumcised or Uncut?: Circumcised (Cut)
Precum Production: Lots of Precum (more than 4 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 5
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Boxers
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: 6-7 hours
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 20 Jun 2010
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby Rey92 » Thu Nov 01, 2012 5:16 pm

Hello misterjack! Welcome to the forum!!! If you seek support, here we are! :greetings-clappingyellow: :greetings-clappingyellow: :greetings-clappingyellow:
Rey~

Patience is Virtue
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Average time to ejaculation normally: 10
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Shorts or pajamas with no underwear
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: 2-3 hours
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 23 Nov 2012
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby misterjack » Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:56 am

Thanks for the support, folks! Late-night browsing and watching pictures of attractive women online are bad habits I'll definitely have to kick. I basically will have no choice but to reduce the amount of time I spend online and cut back on sites like Youtube. When I'm bored, there are plenty of better things to do but I probably have developed something of an Internet/pc-dependency over time (most likely under the influence of porn as merely browsing the Internet isn't how I got addicted to porn). Abstaining from MB/P really is an exercise in self-discipline and requires a real change in your way of life. I've already made improvements and identified many triggers but I still have a lot of work left to do as far as figuring out exactly how exactly I can change my life, or stick by my resolutions. At any rate I'm doing my best.
misterjack
Active Member
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2012 5:45 am
Location: Europe
Age: 24
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 5
Circumcised or Uncut?: Uncut (Intact)
Precum Production: Some Precum (2-4 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 3
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Boxers
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: N/A - Had a wet dream, but never woke up to see the time.
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 27 Oct 2012
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby misterjack » Tue Nov 06, 2012 9:36 am

Update

I hate to admit this folks but I failed once again. I reached almost 5 days without porn but I know I can do better than this. The odd thing is that I felt no urge to MB/P. What I mean to say is there was nothing that seemed like a trigger. But then again who says a trigger has to be something you can sense?

I believe the "trigger" behind this failure was sheer habit, plain and simple. I got home, enjoyed dinner, went upstairs to check my emails and browse the Internet for a while, as I've basically done for years now. Subconsciously, it's all part of my daily routine. That in addition to physical dependency makes it really hard to overcome. I think it's time I finally admit that I also have an Internet addiction. Perhaps it developed due to porn, but they're probably communicating vessels strengthening each other with neither being the absolute cause of the other.

So how will I deal with this? Well, just the sheer amount of time I wasted this evening and things I wanted to accomplish that I didn't, makes me angry at myself. From now on, I'll make sure I set a goal each evening when I'm at home, like finishing a chapter of a book, setting aside time for religious devotions, doing a number of physical exercises, chatting with a friend. I'm also going to devote about an hour of time to this website each day, updating my journal and telling about what I've done or what I want to achieve, read others' journals, join people in chat, etc.

Of course, your input is much appreciated - as always!
misterjack
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Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2012 5:45 am
Location: Europe
Age: 24
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 5
Circumcised or Uncut?: Uncut (Intact)
Precum Production: Some Precum (2-4 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 3
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Boxers
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: N/A - Had a wet dream, but never woke up to see the time.
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 27 Oct 2012
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby Eleazar » Wed Nov 07, 2012 2:22 am

misterjack wrote: I think it's time I finally admit that I also have an Internet addiction. Perhaps it developed due to porn, but they're probably communicating vessels strengthening each other with neither being the absolute cause of the other.


Funny that you should say that, bro. I came to this realisation today too, MJ. :lol: It's not so much about porn for me anymore (although that is still a factor) than it is about googling things and being active on fora. I've become more and more frustrated with the amount of time I spend on the internet.
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
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Eleazar
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Age: 27
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 100
Circumcised or Uncut?: Circumcised (Cut)
Precum Production: No Precum
Average time to ejaculation normally: 15
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Nude - no underwear
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: yes
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: 5-6 hours
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby misterjack » Wed Nov 07, 2012 8:54 am

Eleazar wrote:
misterjack wrote: I think it's time I finally admit that I also have an Internet addiction. Perhaps it developed due to porn, but they're probably communicating vessels strengthening each other with neither being the absolute cause of the other.


Funny that you should say that, bro. I came to this realisation today too, MJ. :lol: It's not so much about porn for me anymore (although that is still a factor) than it is about googling things and being active on fora. I've become more and more frustrated with the amount of time I spend on the internet.


It's odd how this has been staring in my face for so long yet I failed to realize it or simply ignored the issue because I've come to like sitting behind a computer screen comfortably. It's some kind of escapism in its own right. I got into porn and MB shortly before having a PC at home with an Internet connection, so I figured it was porn that caused the Internet addiction. The thing is it's been so long now and frankly it's just too simplistic to blame porn for it. There's more to it than that.

I've disabled access to Google on my laptop and I'm going to note down everything I want to look up on the Internet and then see what's really worthwhile and look it up in the weekend or on some evening when I have nothing better to do. I'm also going to start the 100 Pushups program again as of tomorrow. I guess the trick is to keep your mind occupied by staying busy, having some project to work on, some places to go to, some person to chat to (preferably "offline"), etc.
misterjack
Active Member
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2012 5:45 am
Location: Europe
Age: 24
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 5
Circumcised or Uncut?: Uncut (Intact)
Precum Production: Some Precum (2-4 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 3
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Boxers
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: N/A - Had a wet dream, but never woke up to see the time.
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 27 Oct 2012
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby Eleazar » Wed Nov 07, 2012 5:27 pm

:handgestures-thumbup:
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
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Eleazar
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Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 100
Circumcised or Uncut?: Circumcised (Cut)
Precum Production: No Precum
Average time to ejaculation normally: 15
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Nude - no underwear
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: yes
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: 5-6 hours
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby misterjack » Thu Nov 08, 2012 7:14 am

Alright, we've arrived at day 2. So far so good, I feel like I'm starting to get back on track. I do have some flashbacks occasionally but I'm motivated to stay away not just from porn but equally from MB. Experiencing WD's is definitely part of that motivation though obviously there are much more serious long-term considerations than that. I received some books in the mail that I'd ordered a while ago so I'm going to dive into those and spend some time reading this evening. Time to get off my laptop! See you tomorrow.
misterjack
Active Member
 
Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2012 5:45 am
Location: Europe
Age: 24
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 5
Circumcised or Uncut?: Uncut (Intact)
Precum Production: Some Precum (2-4 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 3
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Boxers
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: N/A - Had a wet dream, but never woke up to see the time.
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 27 Oct 2012
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby misterjack » Fri Nov 09, 2012 7:16 am

Nothing special to report today except that I've reached 3 days of AB! If I manage to stay clean tomorrow and during the weekend, I'll be approaching one week of abstinence. I'll do all I can to succeed. Wish me luck! Better get off the laptop now before I screw up mightily again. (where's that mrgreen smiley when you need it, someone please fix this! :| )
misterjack
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Posts: 33
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2012 5:45 am
Location: Europe
Age: 24
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 5
Circumcised or Uncut?: Uncut (Intact)
Precum Production: Some Precum (2-4 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 3
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Boxers
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: N/A - Had a wet dream, but never woke up to see the time.
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 27 Oct 2012
Sex: Male

Re: The battle continues

Postby misterjack » Sun Nov 11, 2012 11:24 am

I failed last Friday. I had a rather frustrating day and was under stress and eventually I gave in to the urge to MB and watch porn. I didn't binge as severely as otherwise but it's still something of a setback of course. I was really disappointed with myself and have felt rather down but it also lead me to think some things over.

I've had it with these overly optimistic and entirely unrealistic goals of reaching, say, 90 days with neither porn nor masturbation. I'm just too weak to achieve such a thing in one go. Sure, my goal is still to achieve freedom for MB and porn, but I can't do it overnight. I've been using this approach for almost a year now and it doesn't work.

From now on, I'll simply try to last without MB/P as long as I possibly can, and if I do give in to the temptation, I'll try to keep it as short as possible, i.e. avoid binging. I've made considerable progress but I still have trouble reaching just one week without MB/P. I'm simply going to work on further decreasing my MB/P dependency until I can do at least three weeks without it.

I managed to do about three/four days without porn and masturbation last time so now I'm just going to try reaching the same amount of time and count any additional days I manage to pull off. If I fail again after, say, five days, I'll try to reach at least another five days without MB/P, etc. In the meantime, I'll continue to work on doing what's necessary to avoid occasions for MB and porn.

God have mercy on me.
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Re: The battle continues

Postby ColdShower » Sun Nov 11, 2012 2:18 pm

Although I personally don't find MB to be an addiction, as a former addict I can see how MB could create negative consequences and therefore become an addiction. I was addicted to cigarettes from the age of 14 til 24; (In a sense I am still addicted and will be forever.) I have 'relapsed' a few times in the past 3 years, but have remained largely a non-smoker for the past three years.

I hope some of my experience overcoming addiction might help you. I think my first insight is that every quit attempt is constructive even if it is a failure. This might seem counter-intuitive but each failure can be a learning experience in terms of what did work and what didn't work.

I've noticed you've worked on identifying triggers for MB. Avoiding triggers can be useful for a quit attempt but it MAY not be practical as a long-term solution. For example, as a smoker I associated smoking with driving, talking on the phone, waking up, finishing meals, dealing with stress, and waiting. While it is possible to identify these triggers and find ways to distract oneself from the urge to relapse, it is not a sustainable solution. If internet use is a trigger,you may have to accept the fact that internet use at some point may a be a ubiquitous part of daily life and learn (over months or years) to dissociate the internet from MB.

I think shortening your goal length is a positive step. Every attempt I've made at quitting smoking, (and it took many attempts before it stuck,) had to start on a one-day-at-a-time basis. The idea of never smoking another cigarette again, (although the goal,) felt utterly unattainable. One-day-at-a-time is often the only tenable position when the desire to relapse seems ever-present. Over time it eventually becomes easier.

With smoking I found ways to build off the strengths of not using tobacco; working-out utilizes my lungs in a positive capacity and contributes to my desire not to relapse. You too will need to find the silver lining of AB in order to maintain long term commitment; perhaps it is the T-Buzz, or the added free-time that helps you remain porn/mb free.

MB addiction really isn't fair. With smoking you can at least rid your house and car of cigarettes, but with MB, your dick is always at arms reach and porn is always at your fingertips.

anyway,
Best Wishes!
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Re: The battle continues

Postby Eleazar » Sun Nov 11, 2012 4:57 pm

I agree with ColdShower, misterjack. Ultimately, quitting any addiction is a day to day thing. You have to make the decision every moment of every day not to succumb to the temptation to mb or look at porn.

Sometimes progress is slow and sometimes it is fast. Your commitment to quitting is what counts at the end of the day.

Good luck, bro.
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
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Re: The battle continues

Postby misterjack » Mon Nov 12, 2012 10:17 am

Hey Eleazar & ColdShower,

I really appreciate the feedback and the encouragement! I'm now at about halfway my current goal of three days. I've managed to regain some strength to go on but I have to be cautious. As both of you correctly pointed out, it's really a day-to-day struggle. Perhaps I haven't been mindful of that enough because I've been setting very high standards for myself, as I usually do.

ColdShower, you may be right. Perhaps continuously identifying triggers isn't really helpful. In fact, I've had so many "relapses" by now that at some point there are no more "triggers" to identify, save my own weakness and - arguably - secret unwillingness to actually wage war on the temptations, perhaps because I'm often unhappy in life and use it as some kind of escapism.

Which I'm trying to do something about, I should add. But it takes time. And being a very impatient individual by nature, I'm sure you guys can imagine that every now and then I reach a point where this whole struggle wears me down.

ColdShower wrote:You too will need to find the silver lining of AB in order to maintain long term commitment; perhaps it is the T-Buzz, or the added free-time that helps you remain porn/mb free.


Exactly. I ought to think this through and make a list of things that I ought to keep in mind at all times as a motivation to abstain.

Again, thanks for your support and I wish you best of luck with your own endeavors!
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Re: The battle continues

Postby misterjack » Thu Nov 15, 2012 6:55 am

I'm on day 5 in the meantime so I'm approaching one week. I'm optimistic but I'm very cautious. I'm trying not to spend too much time around forums or sites like these because I've found that continuously reminding myself of this weakness of mine isn't doing me any good. I'm still going to maintain this journal, though, but I'm mainly trying to keep my mind occupied with other things and distracted from anything that has to do with porn and MB. I've begun looking for a relationship, I've rededicated to my faith, I've taken up exercising again and I'm basically trying to find my passions in life again.
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Re: The battle continues

Postby Eleazar » Thu Nov 15, 2012 5:07 pm

Keep up the good work, misterjack! You're doing good so far.
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
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Re: The battle continues

Postby misterjack » Fri Nov 16, 2012 8:05 am

Thanks, Eleazar! I've now reached twice the amount of time I wanted to without porn or masturbation. I'm very glad I've made it this far but I remain on guard. As soon as some twisted thought enters my mind, I try to think of something else. The battle continues! ;)
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Re: The battle continues

Postby misterjack » Tue Nov 20, 2012 5:38 am

I managed to reach almost 10 days of AB from MB and porn. Though I regret my mistake, it had been a long since I managed to pull off something like this. Last night I had a sexual dream without ejaculation. The thoughts recurred during the day though I didn't give much attention to them. In fact, I lost interest in porn during this attempt and found that looking for a GF (among other things) really helps me stay away from porn. I'm afraid I gave in due to alcohol. I had some while having dinner and somehow it always manages to cloud my judgment when it comes to porn, even though I never get drunk. So I've decided to abstain from alcohol for at least a week. Apart from that, I'll keep doing what I've been doing. In short, that comes down to pursuing some new hobbies, avoiding the computer as much as possible, socializing, looking for a GF. Prayer also helps me a great deal in abstaining though obviously it's no magical cure. So, lesson learned, I guess, and now I'm going to embark upon at least another 9 days without porn, but I'll set the goal on my counter to 7 days because that's more convenient to me. I do hope that this time I'll manage to reach two weeks but I'll take one day at a time, as I did during my previous attempt.
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Re: The battle continues

Postby Overload » Tue Nov 20, 2012 5:48 am

Good luck! Alcohol can do that, unfortunately. I hope you can be successful on ABing from three subjects! :handgestures-thumbup:
Sorry if I made grammar or expression mistakes.
My Log: http://www.wetdreamforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=4792
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Re: The battle continues

Postby misterjack » Tue Nov 20, 2012 8:09 am

Overload wrote:Good luck! Alcohol can do that, unfortunately. I hope you can be successful on ABing from three subjects! :handgestures-thumbup:


Hey Overload, thanks for your support! I've had some issues with alcohol in the past but learned to drink in moderation after having abstained for several months. I drink virtually every day but never to excess. I played with the idea of abstaining from alcohol during the initial stages of MB/P abstinence before so now I'm finally going to do it! In the end it's only a small part of a wider effort at avoiding any opportunities for a relapse.
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Re: The battle continues

Postby misterjack » Tue Nov 20, 2012 9:45 am

Just wanted to add that I've reinstalled k9. Not that I needed it during my last AB but I think it may be helpful even if it's more of a psychological thing than anything else, since the goal is not to need a filter in the first place but to become a filter of your own.

Having said that, I'm just going to avoid the Internet as much as I can and I'll go running whenever I get home from work and feel sexual tension rising. Apart from temporarily abstaining from alcohol, I'm going to give up on some food as well as a way of doing penance and keeping myself focused.

I'll keep you guys posted from time to time.
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