ColdShower's Log

[ColdShower]

It all started on Wednesday. I was about to MB when I realized I hadn't had any sort of release since Sunday, (a while for me). I'm one of those who started MBing early in life and have never had a WD.

And so, out of sheer curiosity I did a google search to see how long it would take for me to AB my way to a WD. That's how I came to find this site.

I'm on day five now; which must be a 15+ year personal record for going without MB or sex.

Intrigued by those on this forum who claim a WD is better than MB or even sex, I will do my best to push on. I find some reports that this may take up to 2 months a bit discouraging. Five days in and I already feel my standards of who I find attractive dropping by the hour. (At this rate, after a month I suspect I'll be trying to sleep with anything with a pulse.)

Anyway, I think I can muster the will power one day at a time for now.

P.S. may balls ache.

[avers312]

"Five days in and I already feel my standards of who I find attractive dropping by the hour." Ain't it the truth!!!! I mean, I really hear that!! BTW 7days here.

[ColdShower]

@avers: Congrats on the week.

Day 6

Last night was interesting. I woke up three hours after falling asleep. As I was phasing back into consciousness, I could feel my throbbing erection rubbing on the top sheet, and I could tell, in my current AB state, the little stimulation that that was giving me could be enough to bring me to orgasm. As I became fully awake and fully aware I made a panic decision that consciously allowing this to take me to an orgasm would count as MB even though I didn't consciously start it.

I guess I was in a SE grey area. But its the WD i want to experience, and not so much the SE. Anyway. I got up and walked around and the raging hardon eventually passed.

I've noticed others have been tracking dreams in their logs as well. I cannot recall a single dream last night. In fact I believe I've had only one memorable dream since starting this experiment, and it was certainly not a pleasant dream (stressful war-like dream and I woke up from getting shot after my gun crumbled into dust in my hands).

I've noticed myself grinding my teeth more since starting this AB experiment. I've always done that to a degree, but its getting to the point where I have a sore jaw in the morning. I think I have to relearn how to relax while ABing.

[avers312]

Thank you coldshower..

[Overload]

Hey, welcome to the forum CS! Good luck on your journey! I'll be following and supporting you.

Stay strong!

[Ronald]

Welcome ColdShower, and good luck!

[ColdShower]

@95%: thanks for the advice. It sounds like you've been through the same thing with the teeth clenching. I think some new tension from the AB was making me go back to grinding a bit again. I think i've mellowed out on that now.

Day 7

Week one of this experiment is nearly complete. It actually seemed to get a bit easier today. I was a bit restless last night and had no memorable dream activity to speak of; this is a bummer because I believe dreaming is a prerequisite for a WD. My balls ache from time to time, but I seem to be getting used to that. I felt more energy than I usually do, (or perhaps more stress to burn), while swimming laps today.

I have a definite urge to MB, but exploring this new experience is motivation enough for now to refrain; its a bit like experimenting with a new drug.

[ColdShower]

DAY 9

Not too much to report. Still no memorable dream activity. I slept straight through the night last night though. I feel like AB is getting easier which I was not expecting.

[kipman]

I just love your user name!

[ColdShower]

@Kipman: Thanks. I thought it was appropriate for the site.

DAY 10

I think I may have broke my dick.

If there is a 'T-Buzz', I'm having more of a 'T-hangover'. I went all day without an erection, which seems strange considering this is the first time I haven't shot my load for ten days straight since I've been able to shoot a load.

Everything started winding down yesterday, and now I feel like I'm stuck in the testosterone doldrums. Its a very strange feeling. I feel very calm and relaxed, but in a bad way; its confusing because calm and relaxed are generally emotions I enjoy. Somehow this is different. I feel apathetic and nihilistic.

I don't know If this will make sense to anyone. If anyone else has gone through this let me know. I want my testosterone back, but I'm not ready to break my AB for it quite yet.

[SuckerPunch]

Hey Coldshower. I think you are doing a really good job, hang in there man I'm a fan now so I'll be rooting for ya.

I see your kinda down. In my experiance ABing comes with epic energy boosts and unfortunatly the occasional depression and irritability spurts too. I say enjoy the time of not being horny while it lasts lol.

A lot easier said than done I know! I had my first WD after coming to this site (much the same as you) about this same time last year and was amazed it only took 3 weeks but I was depressed and frustrated day in and day out often and it showed in my posts. I kept a log and updated daily if it will help you to read through it, its probably buried pretty far back in the journals. Idk how to paste a link but if you search the name of the log was SUCKPUNCH: operation wet dream.

Good luck. Don't give in to the cravings keep kickin ass

[Muz]

Welcome to the forum ColdShower.

I reckon the body works in cycles often, and your T-buzz hangover could be like the downfall after a sugar high. Your testosterone levels (or whatever it is that's causing these ups and downs) will level out to a normal concentration. Just keep healthy and active, let us know how you go.

[ColdShower]

@Muz&SuckerPunch: Thanks for the encouragement!

@SuckerPunch: I went back and looked at your log from a year ago, and I must say I am very jealous of the amount of sexual dreams you have!

DAY11

Today was better than yesterday. I feel a little bit closer to balanced. I even woke up with a hardon, and I could remember I was dreaming while the alarm went off. I tried recalling the dream while I fixed coffee, but couldn't remember much; So, I think I'm going to keep a notepad by the bed from now on. Hopefully I'll get better at this dream recall.

[SuckerPunch]

Hey no problem glad the next day was better for you! I wouldn't be too jelous though I havn't had even a remotely sexual dream since I started this new AB going for my 2nd WD. I havnt even had a good non sexual one I think I'm trying to force it too hard so I give up on getting frustrated over blank dreams. I'm going to try "asking" for a dream instead of demanding one, its a approach I read about. I'm still doing reality checks but they seem pointless right now while my dream muscle is still pretty out of shape.

Keep on it bro! Your going to hit two weeks soon!

[NotInPersia]

Thanks for posting. Your situation is a lot like mine, because I never got a chance to experience a wd either. I hope you make it. Keep up the good work.

[Squeeze]

Hey, Cold Shower! (your name makes me laugh, haha). Yeah the t-hangover you describe is normal. Read some ppls logs on here and you'll see it's pretty common. I've had it many times after abbing for a bit. Some guys will talk abt having "dead dick syndrome" for a while: no horniness, no boners or even morning woods, nada. The pattern is usually something like this: abstain for a while, get super horny, the hit the testosterone duldrums for a while--0 interest in sex or MB, maybe a bit depressed or lethargic, then out of the blue, their horniness returns to normal. Might take a few days, might take a week or two. It varies. Seems like most of us are "oversexed" basically, and as soon as we give our bodies a rest, once it gets the picture, it just goes for it and our libidos go into hibernation. It can be really tempting then to masturbate just to make sure that we didn't break our dick, like you said, haha. But rest assured, your mind and body just need a break and you are kind of going through a dopamine withdrawal. But that time is good bec your body is healing itself as its hormone levels restabilize. Once this is done, you will still go through some spikes and lows now and then, but in general your t-levels will stabalize and you will feel great most of the time, with plenty of energy and focus, and a pleasant state of horniness that you will learn to manage better and just kind of enjoy w/out feeling compelled to rub out all the time, haha

[ColdShower]

Day 12

Thanks for the encouragement y'all.

Today went pretty well. I swam laps today and in the next lane over was a girl with the ass of an angel. (almost wanted to track down her mother just so I could send her a thank you note) I think she helped jump start my libido because when I took a nap this afternoon I dreamt about her and even found some pre-cum when I woke up.

I'm a bit surprised I've made it this long, especially since I started this AB on a whim. But I really want to experience a WD and I don't want to throw my progress thus far away; going back to zero would be kind of demoralizing. But if today is any indication, my temptation level is on the rise.

Definitely wouldn't be starting day 13 tomorrow without this forum.

[ColdShower]

Day 14

I hit 2 weeks today! I had the best dream recall last night since starting this experiment. I remember shopping for stationary in a strange shop. I remember flirting cashier and looking for books with blank pages to keep a journal, but every book had something written in it. I also remember being in an art gallery district of Chicago. It's weird because I remember all the buildings with great detail and I've only been to this neighborhood a few times. In this part of the dream I was waiting in car with some people but I cant remember what the people looked like or why we were there. lastly I remember driving down rural roads. I was in my car and my sister-in-law was in the passenger seat. My mother and my brother were in a different vehicle on the same road. We were all driving to get ice cream which I didn't want because it was cold outside. The roads were familiar to me. Roads I've driven down many times before dotted with small towns of less than 1000 people. But, every time we would get to a town the buildings were all out of place. One town even had a skyscraper. As we neared the ice cream shop my car started making strange noises, and as I pulled into the parking lot my car broke down completely.

This was a very weird dream and I'm sure I'm missing pieces, but I'm glad I'm getting better at my dream recall. I hope the car thing isn't a sign of things to come, because my car is 20 yrs old and I plan on putting a few thousand miles on it in the next month.

Well, I hope my strange dream wasn't too boring to read.

[SuckerPunch]

Day 12

Today went pretty well. I swam laps today and in the next lane over was a girl with the ass of an angel. (almost wanted to track down her mother just so I could send her a thank you note) I think she helped jump start my libido because when I took a nap this afternoon I dreamt about her and even found some pre-cum when I woke up.

HA! Nice! Congrats on 2 weeks. No turning back now.

My dream recall got better too. I'm hoping its solid and not just a lucky spurt.

Here's to many more dreams to come for all of us who are exercising recall

[ColdShower]

Day 15 (wee hours of AM)

just woke up from erotic dream to find just a small amount of precum. now too horny to sleep.

<<deep sigh>>

[Overload]

Your solution is hidden(?) in your name!

Good luck!

[SuckerPunch]

Hey coldshower

what was the dream? I just had one too (I took a nap) but no precum. It was about a fat chick jerking me off lol

[ColdShower]

@SuckerPunch: The dream was about a short blond with curly hair sucking me off in public restroom. (havn't been able to recall a dream since ) Too bad about the fatty, but i guess even in the dream-world 'big girls need love too'.

Day 17

I've been busy lately which I suppose makes AB easier. Its strange how quickly I can change a habit like MB. When I started this AB I wasn't sure I'd make it to two and a half weeks, but here I am. I think I've had a decent run so far on my first attempt. It's definitely getting easier as AB becomes routine. The horniness level has definitely been on the rise in week 3. I think I'm starting to feel more like I did during the second half of my first week.

[ColdShower]

Day 19

70 hr work week over! woo hoo! Now I'm torn between sleeping-in tomorrow or waking up early to go hunting. I suppose I'm more likely to have a WD if I sleep-in since I remember dreams far more often when I sleeping-in. I could always take a nap later on in the day too. hmmmm...

If anyone has personal experience with WD frequency durring normal sleep vs napping let me know; I'm very curious.

[ColdShower]

Day 20

Definitely feeling a new level of blue balls today. Very cloudy urine this afternoon; I think there was some semen leakage in there. I remember reading others logging about this happening to them, but its a first for me. Not sure if its a good or bad sign. I also feel a new level of 'fullness'. I've felt 'full' before, but this is much more intense. Definitely craving release.

I had minimal dream recall this morning. I could only remember there was some horrible pandemic killing off humanity. I wish I could remember more; it was probably an interesting dream.

[ColdShower]

well one of my recent dreams has come true; my car died. I suspect a fuel system problem. (just hope I can get it fixed quickly since I'm planning on driving half-way across N. America next week.)

Lets all just hope my latest dream of an apocalyptic global pandemic doesn't follow suit.

[Muz]

Oh no
Good luck getting the car going. I've found mine always screws up due to vacuum hoses becoming dislodged or perished. Especially the vacuum line that controls the ignition timing advance... Such a pain driving an old car, but I love it :/

[Drizzt28]

Sad about the car. I had a fuel pump failure on mine about a year and a half ago and there was nothing to do but replace it: Pricey. Anyway I wanted to say good luck with your AB and keep up the good work!

[ColdShower]

Day 21

Had much better dream recall than I normally do last night. I was working as a groundskeeper/caretaker at a mansion in a rural hilly pastoral landscape. Bizarre things started happening. The house was destroyed by a fire, and magically was repaired hours later. An old girlfriend had called me on my cell phone trying to warn me about something; she was very upset. Later in the evening, I was summoned to a room where the residents of the estate were entertaining guests. The room was intimate, most of the furniture was made of dark leathers and woods. A fire place and small lamps dimly lit the room. I was asked to sit down in a plump leather chair. Everyone became silent with my arrival. They gathered around me on all sides quietly staring at me. I somehow realized they were all witches at this point, and were planning on using me in some sort of ritualistic sacrifice. I felt like they wanted to eat me. Fortunately for me one of the witches (who looked like Fairuza Balk) betrayed the others and rescued me. I had to be her minion after that.

I know there's some holes in there I don't remember, but It's much more than I usually remember.

Later I woke up from a sex dream, I felt like I was having an orgasm. It was dry though.

Today will wrap up week three of AB for me.

[ColdShower]

Day 22

I've had some dull pain, (more of a pressure really), in my lower abdomen. I'm paranoid that this is related to AB, and I'm screwing up my prostate. guess I'm waiting to see if it gets better or worse at this point.