Paulies Journal

[paul_m]

I am a 45 year old man. I have voluntarily chosen to live the remainder of my life permanently and a totally sexual abstinent life (including no masturbation). I chose to live this lifestyle almost a year ago, on the 11th October 2011. Prior to that time I was not particularly sexually active, being that I have only had sex 3 times in my life time, I was however a chronic masturbator. My reasons for choosing this lifestyle of being totally sexually abstinent was not for religious or spiritual reasons, but merely to be free form an addiction to masturbation. I have never had any interest in sex and I could best be described as asexual.
To aid me on my Journey I purchased a custom made surgical grade chastity device to begin this new lifestyle, I wear it 24/7/365, it never comes off. it provides a physical barrier to sex and masturbation. I gave the keys to the device to my best friend telling him that is it best if he decides when I am ready to be released and can resist the temptations, I don't believe I could manage to the decision myself as I could easily fool myself into thinking I was ready and have ulterior motives that were not consciously known even to myself. He happily agreed, that was almost a year ago. I can't see myself being unlocked any time in the near future, I imagine it will be years before the device is removed.

I do have regular nocturnal emissions.. I prefer the term nocturnal emission because it describes what I experience best. I don't have sexual dreams or ejaculations when it happens, just a leaking of semen, many times I have woken half way through because it felt like i was peeing in the bed, but it was not it was semen leaking out of my penis. it is not an orgasmic feeling.

I felt alone in my quest, and before stumbling upon this site I created my own forum dedicated to and for people to connect who choose a total sexual abstinence for "non religious" reason. a place for us to connect and support each other. the group has been growing slowly but it is growing.

I have come to love life now as a totally sexually abstinent man, I have never been happier or more content.

If anyone is interested in this lifestyle the link to the forum is http://totalsexualabstinenc.grou.ps/

Paulie

[maverick]

You mention that you have regular nocturnal emissions. How frequent are they? Did they become more frequent after a while or remained constant during the last year?

[paul_m]

I Have a nocturnal emission every 2 or 3 weeks. I was masturbating daily prior to Locking the device on, so I was not having any nocturnal emissions. I don't call them wet dreams because they are not dream related and are far from a sexual event.

[paul_m]

I am just combining my Journal entries into one.

I have completed a year on the 11 October 2012 and am continuing to remain totally sexually abstinent... My goal is to never do anything sexual again.... I love the feeling of sexual purity. Wed dreams/nocturnal emissions seem to be happening less and less, and when they do happen they are much much smaller. I would say my average nocturnal emission is only a drop or two now. I guess my body is adapting and reabsorbing the semen rather than wasting valuable nutrients. I am perfectly happy to not have wet dreams or nocturnal emissions, either way I am happy. I just love living free from sexual actions and thoughts.

If anyone is interested I have created a website for anyone who is interested in Total Sexual Abstinence as a life goal.
http://totalsexualabstinenc.grou.ps/

[paul_m]

Yesterday, after 1 year, 1 month, and 8 days, I have removed my chastity device, I feel I have broken my addiction to masturbation and porn. I have no desire or urge to masturbate, have sex or look at porn, I have broken the physical addiction as well as the psychological and neuro-chemical addiction. Locking my penis up for a year was the best decision I have ever made. As I have stated in previous posts I choose to be totally sexually abstinent for the of my life.

Having removed chastity device things down there are quite sensitive to movement, the touch of skin and clothing. Despite that I have not had a single sexual erection, only the usual night-time and morning wood. I know I can't be complacent and need to stay on my guard despite how confident I feel.

[Eleazar]

Congratulations on being porn and mb free for one year, one month and eight days! It is no mean feat! The sensitivity will only be for the next week or so after that you should be good.

May I ask you reasons for choosing celibacy?

[paul_m]

Congratulations on being porn and mb free for one year, one month and eight days! It is no mean feat! The sensitivity will only be for the next week or so after that you should be good.

May I ask you reasons for choosing celibacy?

Thanks Eleazar,
The sensitivity factor has changed in a day, the only thing I find sensitive about my penis now is contact with my hand. I find that this contact is unpleasant which is a good thing, so I plan to use this to my advantage and keep any contact to the bare minimum, so hopefully the unpleasant sensation on contact remains. I have worked a way to urinate without touching myself and washing myself is not an issue either as soapy water from washing my chest will flow over the penis and keep it clean. So, in reality there is no need to ever touch myself except on a vary rare occasion.

To Answer Your Question.
I have no real need or desire to have sex with other people so why do it. I enjoy being single, doing what I want when I want to. I don't get lonely so celibacy sounds good to me. Another thing, I hate the sex/relationship games people play, just using one another for sex, all rather meaningless if you ask me. I find relationships tiring, maybe I am just a unique person. I find the freedom from sexuality to be awesome, no more games, no more hunt/chase, no more using people or being used for sex. The benefits of TSA (Total Sexual Abstinence) are awesome too, greater clarity of thought, more creativity, more in touch with you true self, more emotionally, mentally stable. I find I am physically healthier with less allergies, and have a lot more energy.

Being TSA has helped me get touch with you true self, if the mind is not flooded with sexual thoughts whether it is porn, masturbation, looking for a life partner or a sexual partner; you start to get to know who you really are, what makes you tick. I would say you evolve from a sex motivated/driven animal to achieve a more of your potential or become a better person within yourself because your priorities have shifted.

Having said all that I know TSA is not for everyone, but for me I find it truly liberating, and I'll never go back to becoming the old me, I was a dickhead before and now I actually like who I am.

[paul_m]

2 days after I have released myself from the chastity device, still no sexual temptation, no sexual urges to masturbate, have sex, or look at porn. I don't expect this to change but I will not let myself become complacent and will keep my guard up.

[paul_m]

A week down since the removal of the chastity device and still no temptation, desire, want or need to masturbate or do anything sexual..... I think the re-education process through wearing the chastity device worked very well, It made masturbation physically impossible and so I accepted that I could not MB so I stopped thinking about doing it. Now over a year after the device was first put on and I am a new person


I think this log/journal is going to be very boring lol because MBing is of no interest to me now.

[paul_m]

I had a nocturnal emission 3 nights ago. I also had 2 nocturnal emissions last night, that's pretty rare. I must of not got it all out the first time, second one was a lot thicker and smaller quantity. I am making a distinction between wet dreams and nocturnal emission.