Blue's Journal/Log

[Squeeze]

Awesome, blue! good for you, man, and yeah, I hope your next one will be more pleasurable!!
But glad you finally got some release and glad to hear you are working out and drinking more water. Both awesome thigs that will help your health all around. Since our reproductive organs are part of our parasympathetic nervous system, they are kind of on the second tier of our body's priorities. When we are healthy in general, our body has extra energy to put towards our man equipment's functionality, and of course our testosterone amd androgens are higher, too, so it seems more likely that you will get a powerful WD in that state. If nothing else, you'll feel great and have more energy and focus for school, too.

[Eleazar]

Cool, Blue!!! Congrats!!

[Rey92]

yay! Congrats blue!!! Hope we chat again soon.

[cristoff]

wow 2 WD's so far! you're ahead of me this year already! haha congrats man! 51 days for the first one, then 41 days after that for the second one, maybe it'll be an even shorter time till your third one

[blue4]

Day 99

2 nights ago, I had another very small wet dream, or at least there is evidence to suggest that. I was very comfortable when I fell asleep that night and I remember dreaming about 1 of my guy friends that has moved away and I haven't heard from in a while (nothing sexual, just he was in my dreams). During the night I woke up 2 times, each with a boner on my side and I flipped over onto my back and fell back asleep almost immediately. When I woke up in the morning, I was feeling around my waistline and found a very small amount of dried up cum and after that found a very small (maybe an inch in diameter) cum stain on my sheets.

I was surprised by this because 1) the amounts were SO small in comparison to any cum (through MB or WD) I have had so far after that period of time and 2) I didn't feel it at all (the wetness or the orgasm) in my dream or when I woke up. I have never had any distinguishable amount of pre-cum before this point, but this is my guess as to what it may have been.

Has anyone had something like this happen to them where you simple pre-cummed a little in your dreams and didn't even feel it? I've heard it's a pretty pleasurable feeling, but like I said I have yet to experience it and don't plan on MB or anything like that to find out. Your insight is welcome.

-blue

[Squeeze]

Interesting, blue. I precum some usually when I am horny for a while, but don't know if I have bec of a dream or not. But at least for me, when I precum while awake, the precumming itself doesn't create a pleasurable feeling. It oozes out very gradually over time. You only usually notice it after some has accumulated on your underwear and then your glans rubs up against it or something and you notice a cold and wet feeling. Or if you are MBing some, then you will notice it come out. It doesn't spurt out or anything, it just kind of accumulates at the tip after a while. I can kind of "milk" it a bit if I am MBing in that it accumulates a bit in my urethra after a while of being horny, and so if I stroke myself up near my head then I can squeeze a bit out.

If I feel pleasure when I am producing precum, it's just the pleasurable tingles you get sometimes when you are horny, it doesn't come from the act of precumming itself. At least not with me. Precum does act as a good natural lube though, haha. Though I usually only have enough to cover my head with it for a bit, until it dries out. But if I stay aroused, I will keep on producing it pretty good.

I don't know if that helps you at all, but thought you might find it interesting at least if it's something you haven't experienced. Kinda random, but I've talked to other guys who are restoring their foreskins who have reported that they never used to pre but started to after they got enough skin to keep their glans covered, even when just covered over with a device. I thought that was interesting. I've always precummed, but I guess not all cut guys do.

[blue4]

Day 103

Today I had a new experience. I was working out as I do usually in the afternoons and after doing a short leg workout (consisting of squats, lunges and calf raises) I went to do my ab workout as I normally do after the main exercises. During one of my last sets, I started getting pleasurable sensations down in my groin, the kind you get you are getting close to orgasm. This surprised me so I stopped and thought "Oh, maybe my dick is getting stimulated" since I was moving my legs for the exercises. So, I made sure nobody was looking and I readjusted myself and kept going. The sensations came back, if not more intense than before. I stopped and at this point I got a boner, so I readjusted myself again. I took a break of about a minute then moved onto my last set. The sensations came back just as intense before and I decided to just give up. I sure as heck didn't want to blow my load at the fitness center with my thin compression shorts and white gym shorts on. I know that if I would have kept going I would have exploded then and there.

I have never had that happen before. I guess I can relate better to guys who have spontaneous ejaculations with orgasm. Another reason why I stopped was because I didn't want my body to have a conscious/awake orgasm as I was thinking that this might mess up my wet dreams (as infrequent as they may be). Additionally, I am already dealing with tons of issues right now with school and life in general and I don't really want to run the risk of getting addicted to orgasms and the feel good chemicals they release again, especially with how well things are going with AB right now.

Anyways, that is my experience and thoughts on it. Has anybody had something similar happen to them? I guess I am really curious to hear what you guys think about it. Peace

-blue

[Squeeze]

Yep, that was (almost) a SE! I think I've had two in my life, all when I was a lot younger, and both were while exercising, so ur story doesn't surprise me. Like you, there was body movement from the exercise, but no direct stimulation of my penis, so that's why I don't consider it MB and in neither case was it intentional.

The first time I was in high school, I think Senior year, and was staying at a family friend's apt for a few days. They had a little gym at the complex and I was doing those exercises where you lie face down on the bench and pull the machine lever towards your butt. Leg flexion I think it's called. Anyway, my penis was pointed down btwn my legs, but I guess the pressure of pushing my crotch down into the bench as I curled my legs back was too much and before I knew it I got those same feelings you described. I don't even remember if I got hard or not. Prolly not much bec of how I was laying down. No one was around and so I thought screw it, ha, and did abt three more curls not sure what would happen, and Bam! I busted a nut! Haha. It was pretty cool bec it was unexpected. I was just glad no one else was around! It came on pretty quick. So yeah, good thing u stopped when u did bec you were probably right on the verge of cumming.

The other time I was at home doing those exercises where you lie on your stomach on the floor and then lift your legs up and arch your back up as high as you can. Supermans I think they are called. I did some of those and then it happened. I was home alone and I guess feeling pretty horny so I didn't care. So, a similar position for me: on my stomach, pelvis pushed towards the floor, but and leg muscles clenched. No boner. Kinda crazy but makes sense simce those same muscles would be engaged during sex. But that's crazy how you got that from abs, though I've heard of other guys having that happen from crunches. Same thing really, since you are clenching you other important sex/thrusting muscles, your abs!

Seems to show that our minds are designed to use the movement of all those muscles to trigger an ejaculation/orgasm; that it's not just penile stimulation that can cause it. Well, in a WD there is usually no penile stimulation at all and yet we get the same result! Our brains are definitely our sexual command center! Haha. Interesting stuff.

[blue4]

Yeah, I was on my back doing lower abs where you lift your legs when it first started happening. I had to stop when I was doing Mason Twists (the one where you sort of balance on your butt and move your hands in a fist from 1 side of your body to the other side-to-side). I did all of those exercises and more today and nothing happened in terms of sensations. I think a lot of it might have to do with how your prostate is stimulated. When doing the leg raiser type exercises, I imagine that the prostate is expanding and contracting a little bit as your legs move. The mason twists I can't explain.

I dunno. If it happens in a more private setting and/or wearing not white bottoms, I will probably just go for it. I almost wish I would have. I have been really sexually anxious lately, even losing sleep the past couple of nights waking up being super horny. The WD will come soon, hopefully.

-blue

[Squeeze]

Ok, yeah I can definitely see how those lower ab raises could stimulate that. Those lower abs and surrounding muscles pull on a guy's whole genital area. Like when you have a boner and are standing up, you know how you can squeeze those muscles and make it bounce? Part of that is you tensing your PC muscles in your crotch (like when you stop yourself peeing mid-stream, like a Kegel exercise), and part of that is you tensing the muscles and ligaments directly above your penis. It seems to me that those same muscles are engaged with a lot of those types of exercises. I know the Mason crunches, too, but I never knew what they were called, so thanks, ha.

I never thought abt how those kind of exercises can stimulate a guy's prostate, but that makes sense. I'd bet that any of those lower core type exercises causes the muscles around it to contract on and off. And rhythmic contractions of one type or another are what get a guy to cum, ha. So I wouldn't doubt that that was part of what was going on.

Yeah, that sexual tension can be rough! If it was me, and I had already abstained for quite a while w/no wet dream, and I was alone at home or somethig, i'd prolly just let it happen. It would be a new experience for you and still a totally innocent one, it wasn't MB, it was your body saying I'm ready for a release, like w/a WD. I don't know if it would set you back in getting a WD or not. But several guys here have gotten SEs before they ever got a WD, and other guys have abstained for a while, MB'd and then got a WD, so maybe getting a SE might not ser you back after all? I'm sure your body wouldn't be totally relieved after getting one SE. I don't know abt other guys but if I remember correctly, i didn't release as much fluid w/an SE as i do when Mb. So, maybe it might just nudge your bodybto finish the job when u are asleep.

Either way, hope you get a much deserved natural release soon (in a non-embarassing way)!

[blue4]

Day 107

Yesterday I let go of my inhibitions and let myself have my first SE.

It was the middle of the day and I was super horny and I decided that I would go on a run and follow it up with a small ab workout. I went on my run, stretched a little bit and then went to do my ab workout. I did everything I normally do and then on my last set of 30 doing a leg raiser (for lower abs), I got the cumming/orgasm sensations during the last 5 or 6 reps. Each rep brought me closer to orgasm. My face contorted from the pleasure. During the 2nd to last rep I could feel the cum rising up. Then, the last one- BOOM! Full out orgasm. My legs shook and dropped and my dick was pulsing with pleasure for about 10-15 seconds, cum flowing steady. Then I was still, breathing calmly and feeling relaxed. I let it happen, and it felt good.

To be honest, I went into the ab workout hoping it would happen. I was ticked off that my body wasn't giving me any relief and came to the conclusion that maybe this is what was supposed to happen right now. I didn't stimulate my dick at all and didn't touch anything, I only did my exercises. In the future, I don't think I will stop it from happening again like I did last time. My body must have read that as edging (which is essentially what it was, just no MB involved) because my sexual anxiety spiked hard core after it happened. For right now, I am going to consider it just another way of the body regulating itself. I guess it will be hard to say for sure though. If my sexual anxiety spikes like it usually does the week or 2 after I MB, I might change my mind on having these types of experiences.

Another note worthy thing was that my cum was very watery, as opposed to thick and sticky, and also very smelly (some would describe the smell as bleach or another household cleaner). My cum soaked through the 2 layers on my compression shorts (I was wearing better ones this time) and wasn't very slick or sticky when I felt it after my shorts off. My pubes and dick were also really dry and not sticky. I guess that wicking technology on the compression shorts works! Anyways, that's all I have to report.

-blue

[Squeeze]

Cool, man! Sounds like an awesome experience. And it was cool that it happened on your very last rep of your pre-planned set! So, you didn't do more to try to get off, it just happened right at the finish line--sounds like it was meant to be.

Yeah, if you intentionally did it all the time to try to get an orgasm, it would be like another form of MB. But you can't get a true SE like this unless you have abstained for a long time, and it happened just in the course of your normal activities, so it's just a reward, your body pleasurably taking care of it's extra buid up, just like a WD. I just hope it doesn't happen the next time at they gym, haha. I guess if you're feeling extra horny, save your ab set for home, haha

And yaaay for fabric wicking, haha

[blue4]

Yeah, I don't plan on doing it again intentionally. I have been doing the same ab workout for at least a month now and this hasn't occurred since this week. I think my choice was practical. I don't want to have to constantly worry about blowing my load when I am at the gym or doing my abs routine nor do I want to do that type of "edging" (having to stop exercising when it occurs) because that spiked my anxiety hard core.

As a side note, does anybody still read this thing (other than Squeeze)? Is the post too old/long or should my responses be shorter? Let me know your feedback.

-blue

[ColdShower]

I read your log Blue. I find it interesting even though I haven't posted anything.

[Eleazar]

Same here, Blue.

[blue4]

Day whatever

I fell. It's over. I caved.

When I started getting coregasms (orgasms from doing core/ab exercises), I couldn't help myself. They started happening every time I did abs, not just periodically. So, every time I did abs, I would get my drugs (dopamine, endorphins, etc. when you have an orgasm) and I started craving MB and releasing a lot more.

It was last Tuesday that I MB'ed, while driving no less. I was on the highway and there weren't many cars around and I somehow decided that was the right thing to do. It ran through my head several times that I could easily call my friends/accountability people, but I brushed those ideas aside. I wanted it so badly. Afterwards, I didn't really feel much.

Over the next couple days, I contemplated my desire to actually abstain. Where did this come from? How could I be so strong before, resisting every temptation for so long, and now I question whether or not it is worth it? Regardless, I MB'ed again (twice actually) last night with some stupid justification that I wanted to see how long I could last before orgasm. It wasn't long, neither time. I was too excited and sensitive down there. I guess recently I have had some form or sexual performance anxiety which is funny/dumb because I don't even have a girlfriend and thus am nowhere near marriage and having sex. I feel truly powerless over everything, but I suppose that is what addiction is.

My friend/accountability partner has the same attitude towards the whole purity/abstaining thing as well. We talked last night and the conclusion that we reached is that, at the end of the day, we make our own choices and if we really want to do something (watch porn, jack off, whatever) we will find a way to do it. I believe there is a lot of truth to that, but at the same time there is something wrong. Last night, I was journaling about this and I really wanted to jack off, like super bad. My dick was throbbing, I was alone, in the privacy of my own room, and I even had some condoms so that clean-up would have been super easy. But I didn't do it. Why? Was it solely because of accountability? Maybe, but maybe not. I lean towards maybe not because even when I do talk about my screw-ups with my accountability partner(s), nothing bad happens. We don't yell at each other and there is no physical punishment. We try to talk about it, try figure out why we did it, and move on.

A question I pose for you all, then, is what keeps you abstaining? What do you tell yourself in the moment when your mind has it's last chance at sound judgement before you give into your desires? Any and all answers are appreciated.

-blue

[NeverHad1]

Day whatever

I fell. It's over. I caved.

When I started getting coregasms (orgasms from doing core/ab exercises), I couldn't help myself. They started happening every time I did abs, not just periodically. So, every time I did abs, I would get my drugs (dopamine, endorphins, etc. when you have an orgasm) and I started craving MB and releasing a lot more.

What is a coregasm?

A question I pose for you all, then, is what keeps you abstaining? What do you tell yourself in the moment when your mind has it's last chance at sound judgement before you give into your desires? Any and all answers are appreciated.

I'm pretty new to this whole thing so I'm not sure if I can provide a valid point of view or not. I think for me it's about the goal rather than the MB act itself. My goal is to achieve a WD. That's a finite and quantifiable goal. After I do that i can evaluate where I want to go with that. If approached like a diet then any time there is a deviation it feels like a complete failure, whereas it's really just a misstep. Eventually you want to eat healthy most of the time, however that indulgence in a piece of cheesecake is against that. When we focus on trying to be perfect, like people do on crash diets, then when you slip up once it leads to a complete whiplash action in the opposite direction and binging. Could the same be true of AB'ing? Since you are fighting years or even decades of reinforced behaviors, a more incremental approach with shorter term goals is maybe a better approach to achieving an ultimate goal of not AB'ing at all any more.