Eleazar's WD Journal

[Eleazar]

DAY 99/34 of AB from mb/porn
porn - strike 1: day 79/15; strike 2: day 93/28

Thank you, mbfree, Ronald, and determined.

I've been so horny these passed couple of days. I've also been doing random picture searches and have not found anything pornographic yet. Thank God! All the while I'm thinking to myself that I really don't need to add fuel to the fire. Why would I want to make myself more horny? I definitely don't want to do this --> again. The joys of manhood, I guess!

[Eleazar]

DAY 100/35 of AB from mb/porn
porn - strike 1: day79/15; strike 2: day 93/28

As I feared, I mb'd in my sleep last night. I didn't cum and wasn't even close to the point of no return. I came to when muscles were straining and then just ceased and desisted. This morning I have peace and I am glad. What I feared would happen happened and I survived. I am not resetting my counter because I was not fully conscious when it happened and when I gained consciousness I stopped the activity. What a way to celebrate 100 days of AB, eh?

That said let the AB continue!

Thank you, 95%, for the encouragement. Usually for me sleepstripping is followed by sleep-mb which is why I was so anxious and horny (the two seem to go together sometimes).

I'm just glad that I did it, that sleepmb happened and now I can go on with my life.

[Rey92]

haha congrats with the "no, I'm not gonna blow it"

[Eleazar]

DAY 102/37 of AB from mb/porn
porn - strike 1: day79/15; strike 2: day 93/28

Thank you, Rey.

I had a wd just before my alarm went off this morning. It was truly a terrific dream. The load was small, not what I expected based on what happened in the dream. I don't recount my dreams anymore, but this one is so funny that I think I will save it (by recording it here).

I was walking down the main road to my aunt's place. On my way there I have to pass the library, civic centre, (day) clinic and the police station (in that order). On the corner of the block in which the police station is situated, the corner closest to the day hospital a bunch of guys were standing there. I recognised the one guy and spoke to him for a while. He said that he sent a text message to my phone and asked me to forward it to someone (whose number he had given). I found it odd that he would do that. His buddies continued talking to me while he typed out another text message on his phone and then he sent it to me. Through all this I was thinking these guys are drug dealers. Don't associate with them. While we were talking a detective came by and greeted us and we reciprocated. He chatted with us for a short time and went on his way again. My friend sent two of his buddies with me to my aunt's place to make sure that I got there safely. He had to walk passed the police station. (I think he sent them with me to make sure that I don't report them to the police.)

We came to the other corner of the block still on the main road's side. I could see through my mind's eye how they would safely lead to my aunt's place and would where she lives so that if I tattle they would target her. I never entered the street leading to her house.

In fact as we turned to enter that street, I was transported to our home. But, it wasn't our home since the contents changed from the house of the sister of the aunt I was originally going to to that of my cousin. As soon as I entered the house, I got a rock hard boner and had a great urge to pee. In the living room I saw the thing in which you through paint and from which you work when painting walls with a roller paint brush. It was behind the TV monitor. I knelt down and aimed. I was off target but soon aimed properly and let it rip. My mom came in to check on me, then my sister, then my mom's sister, a cousin of mine. More cousins came (all female so far). I was thinking, "Oh no! The whole family is coming." The living room became larger to make space for my cousins as they sat around me to watch the spectacle. Some went into the kitchen to see what needed to be done. Luckily there weren't any children around. Then, a male cousin of mine came in from the kitchen area and all the ladies screamed, "Aaah!" For some reason they didn't want him to see me pee. Upon seeing him, I finished and my boner went down immediately.

The daughter of one of my cousins leaned over and said to me that it is our only means of pleasure for those who are abstaining or something like that. I can't actually remember her exact words now. I remembered when I woke up because it was the last thing I heard before waking up. I woke up and expected to find a huge spill. But, to my dismay the spill was very small. I got some cum on the bottom of the t-shirt I was sleeping in, on the finger tips of my left hand and some on the bed sheet. I was sleeping (half-)nude. Another detail: my pee made an arc.

Before I went to bed, I could feel some orgasmic waves hit my body. I just told myself to relax. "If you relax, the wd will come." And it came.

Throughout the day yesterday (day 101/36) I felt some sensations down there.

[Overload]

CONGRATS!!!

[Eleazar]

DAY 104/39 of AB from mb/porn
porn - strike 1: day 79/15; strike 2: day 93/28

I experienced a dream within a dream on Friday night. I cant remember the exact contents but i dreamt that I was experiencing a wd. When i woke up i saw that i blew a huge load. But when i stretched out my hand to feel the extent of the spill I woke up for real and found the spot to be completely dry.

Last night I had a wd with a large spill. I got some on the blanket, bed sheet, my thighs and my hand. I have returned to my normal mode of sleeping. The dream that I had wasnt even remotely sexual and had absolutely nothing in common with any of my previous wds, whatsoever, except for the fact that it was a wd.

On the AB from porn front, I'm in my second week and I sense a growing restlessness inside of me to look at porn or read some erotica. I have to be on guard now. My goal for now with the porn AB is to reach 30 days.

[Rey92]

Omg your dream would be really embarrassing in real life! Congrats on your WD.

[Eleazar]

DAY 106/41 of AB from mb/porn
porn - strike 1: day 79/15; strike 2: day 93/28

Well, I woke up from a wd a couple of minutes ago. Like the previous one the dream wasn't even remotely sexual neither was it related to urinary function. It was also the first time I woke up in the sleeping position that I had. I got the dream about 2 hours into sleep.

Unfortunately, though, all my efforts to return to sleep were destroyed by my flatmate who entered the flat with his friends after a night out in town. They ate some pizza and were speaking quite loudly. I get easily irritated when someone messes with my sleep as I do not sleep during the day unless I'm on holiday. I waited for a while and then I asked them to quiet it down because we, i.e. my other flatmate and I, are trying to sleep. They were quite shocked. They didn't tone down their volume much, but they did finish quickly and leave. They left while I still typing the previous paragraph.

So, now, I will return to my precious sleep.

Oh, and I noticed twice today that my urine was a bit cloudy...

Thanks, Rey and Overload. It would've been mortifying if it ever happened in real life and I would never live it down! Never!

[Eleazar]

DAY 106/0 of AB from mb/porn
porn - strike 1: day 79/15; strike 2: day 93/28; strike 3: day 106/41

@95% - Thanks, buddy. I did get some sleep, however, broken up it might be.

I was very horny, and still am, and started doing an image search and reading truth or dare challenges. These revved up my engines quite a bit and on one truth or dare website I saw a pornographic image. Therefore I'm resetting my counter now.

Tonight will mark the start of a new porn AB period. I have also joined a porn AB group online via http://www.yourbrainonporn.com. Since WDF has helped me such a lot with AB'ing from mb, I believe that a group focused on AB'ing from porn will help me as much.

So, here's to a new start:

Things are going to get hectic now since I'll be dealing porn withdrawals and a stressful period in my academic life. But, like a family friend said, "A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do." Ain't no two ways about that.

And another thing, my penis feels very full and heavy as if I'll blow my load if I'm not careful.

[Eleazar]

DAY 108/00 of AB from mb/porn

Well, last night I started and ended day 2 of my porn AB so I'm back to day 00 today. I did a Google image search on "wet dreams" (with the SafeSearch filter set on Strict) just to see what hits I would get. I was feeling really tired and was stalling to go to bed. I saw some pics that broke the conditions of my porn AB so I reset my counter.

[Eleazar]

DAY 109/01 of AB from mb/porn

A new day of Ab'ing from porn has begun. This time I'm not blowing it for anything no matter how happenstance it may appear to be!!! I'm celebrating the start of my new porn ab with a really good meal that I'm making myself as we speak. So, here's to a successful ab:

The day overall has been good. I struggled a little to focus on my work and I'm hopeful that this ab will improve my focus once I pass the initial withdrawals. One day at a time is my motto.

[Eleazar]

DAY 111/03 of AB from mb/porn

I just woke up from a wd this morning. It was the most distressing wd i ever had coz in it was day108 and i was extremely horny. So much so that i took matters into my own hands and mb'd. My dream was very dramatic moving to another scene soon after. I only got myself to wake up 2 scenes after the mb scene. I thought that i really blew my 108 days of AB and that i had to inform u guys and start all over again. It seemed very real.

The load i shot in real life was only a couple of drops. And i was sleeping clothed. I got the dream after my alarm went off and i dozed off to sleep again.

I'm just glad that i didnt blow my AB.

[hardwood]

Hey

Wow another almost sleep jerk session. There seems to have been a few of them posted here latley.

Will done on another Wd though!!

[Eleazar]

DAY 112/04 of AB from mb/porn

Yep, hardwood. It seems as if you wish was granted, buddy. I had another wd last night, but can't remember the dream, like the previous one the scene just moved to another one and I woke up a little while later. I was clothed for this one too. I didn't even bother to look at the load volume coz I was just too exhausted.

Today is (National) Heritage Day and also National Braai [BBQ] Day here. It's a public holiday so everywhere you go you get the smell of meat roasting on open fires. SSwweett. My long weekend is coming to an end and a busy week lies ahead of me.

[mbfree]

Congrats on your new wd!

That sounds like a great day . I would love a braai too but summer has come to an end over here . Keep up the good work and don't eat too much .

[Eleazar]

DAY 114/06 of AB from mb/porn

Thanx, mbfree and 95%.

I had a wd last night. The dream was all muddled and not sexual at all. The load volume was average for me and I got some on the vest I was wearing to bed. After the wd I couldn't get back to sleep easily coz of the raging, throbbing boner I had which only went away as I made my way to the bathroom to empty my bladder. After that I got a little rest. I didn't check the time of emission neither did I check the time when I peed so I don't know for how long I was hard.

Yesterday I attended a very interesting lecture on the evolution of skin colour and its purpose. It was very insightful.

[hardwood]

Man - have you seen a doctor about your problem!!lol

U seem to have a WD every second day or daily at the present time. Stupid question I guess - but do u ever get tired of them and the mess they make?

I think you would be leading the board if we were to count the number of dreams that people have on this site like 95 suggested.

[determined11]

I second that, we need a third counter my friend to document your progress and motivate the members here. keep it up!

few questions:

do you usually get wds when you abstain?
do you get WD when you MB as well? and if so do you see a difference in the frequency between the two cases?
how long did it take you to get the first WD after starting to AB?

[Rey92]

their's a friendly guy I chatted yesterday. He PMd me and greeted me. We talked about my AB and progress and asked him if he's AB. Apparently, he said no and he don't even MB at all! Like since the beginning of his puberty or his life LOL.

I told him that it's unbelievable. He doesn't get WD frequently but SE. Like many times in a week in always caught in an embarrassing place.

He said he is super sensitive that one time he pulled his foreskin and splooge. Ugh

And one guy also in the chat. He's so nice that he always PM me first and greet me. That guy always have a WD every month! Like a period.

But E is more frequent. Pretty amazing, Eleazar!

[Eleazar]

End of Day 114/06 of AB from mb/porn

Thanx, Rey, determined11 and hardwood. I'll think about the wd counter...

Determined you asked a couple of questions:

1. do you usually get wds when you abstain?
2. do you get WD when you MB as well? and if so do you see a difference in the frequency between the two cases?
3. how long did it take you to get the first WD after starting to AB?

1. Yes, I do.
2. Yes and yes. Back when I mb'd I used to get a wd either every week or every fortnight. Now I get them at least once a week.
3. It took me 10 days on my first AB attempt since joining WDF. My next one was 14 days after that one, but I slipped up on day 18. So, all in all my actual AB day count is 132 days (if I were to count as TG, ang and others do). After my second wd I had dry spell of 11 days and averaged about 1.5 a week until I went for a small op. Since then the wd frequency increased a lot.

It would be cool if those guys you spoke to could document their emissions, Rey. It would really be interesting to see their patterns.

[Eleazar]

Day 115/07 of AB from mb/porn

I've been feeling a certain amount of horniness throughout the day. It's the worst kind of horny that I've been, significant in that it was purely driven by porn withdrawals and stress due to my work load.
I didn't succumb to the feeling(s) so my first week is done!

[Eleazar]

Day 116/08 of AB from mb/porn

I learnt a lot of interesting stuff today about myself. I've had some very strong erections too where it felt like I would cum at any moment (with no build up of orgasm though). I could even "see" the cum coming out, if you know what I mean. But, thankfully, it didn't happen.

Overall, it was a good day. My next AB day is about to start... I've been very productive this week of which I'm proud and all things are

I could also buy a my first book in the new (non-academic) subject I am researching, not that I will have time to read it now due to all the procrastination I did. But, I'm happy about it.

To t-buzz, guys!!!

Hope you guys have an awesome weekend!

E

[Rey92]

I miss the T-buzz too!!!!


Wait... I'm having it right now

[Eleazar]

Day 120/12 of AB from mb/porn

LOL Rey

AM
I've been thinking about my triggers for porn and came to the realisation that my main trigger is my curiousity. I'm a curious and inquisitive person by nature and since my pre-teen years nothing drew my curiousity as much as sexual topics. So the question I'm asking myself right now is "How do you curb your curiousity?" I absolutely love learning especially about relationships and human behaviour. And I always tend to consult more than one source on a topic. For example, I've been reading YBOP articles on pair-bonding and karezza for the passed week or so and out of habit I did a Google search on those topics especially karezza. I see controlling my curiousity about sexual stuff as very difficult.

Last night I sleep jerked again. I'm not getting enough sleep. I wasn't even close to cumming but I really wanted in my dream state, yet when I became lucid I lost all desire to see it through to the end. In dream state I even saw the cum oozing out of my dick. I didn't actually cum in real life and neither was I anywhere close to it. After waking up from the dream I couldn't go back to sleep and just laid in my bed waiting for sleep to come as well as for my alarm to go off.

The previous night I dreamed about having a huge WD with cum all over my crotch and next to me on the bed. But, no WD in real life. I've not been sleeping well lately at all. I wake up at 3 or 4am and wait for my alarm to go off at 5am.

EDIT
PM
I took a nap (2.5hrs) this afternoon and woke up to some wetness on the bed sheet touching my dick. The patch was 6 cm^2. I was laying on my side. A short while after turning to lay on my back, I became erect and saw a gray fluid collecting at the tip of the urethra. The fluid wasn't enough to make it drop onto my abdomen. I got up a few seconds later because I didn't want to place myself in a predicament. So, tbh I don't know whether it's cum, pre-cum, or mixture of both.

[Eleazar]

Day 123/15 of AB from mb/porn

AM
Just for the record today is day 123. So far my AB from porn has been going well. I've been reading up about the benefits of non-orgasmic sex and the bond that it forges between man and woman. Interesting stuff. I've been feeling some congestion in and around my balls and been having really hard boners these passed few days. Really cool.

[Eleazar]

Day 125/17 of AB from mb/porn

PM
Alright, guys, I've never experienced this kind of intense HORNINESS before. I'm actually craving SEX and been stroking my balls with my finger in my sleep. I caught myself doing it when i woke up just now.

For the second time in my life I met a MILF today. She's the recently divorced daughter of a family friend. Her husband cheated on her without her knowledge, came to my city and sent her divorce papers 2 months later. Thy were gonna move here. The divorce went thru 2 wks ago. She's in her early 30s and the kid is 7 yo, a girl.
MB is not an option and WDs have evading me these passed 2 wks - tho im not concerned about them so much. The WDs wl come when they do. So, what do i do?

Man, I'm HORNY!!!!!!!!

[hardwood]

What do u mean what should I do?

Guess if u r serious about the AB u just have to get through these horny periods like the rest of us!!
Yep i have found myself waking up with hands down there and doing stuff as well. Think its kind of a natural reaction for when whe are worked up!!

Be strong man - But if things happen dont feel bad as its happed to ALL of us.

[Eleazar]

Thnx, HW. I'm quite serious about this AB so there's not much I can do, bt to grit my teeth and stick to my guns.

[Overload]

You can do it! It's better to wait for a happy WD instead of MBing and feeling guilty.

[Eleazar]

Day 125/17 of AB from mb/porn

PM
Thank you, Overload for the encouragement.

SUMMARY of recent events
So, this is going to be somewhat detailed.

I had an small SE this afternoon which brought some much needed relief. Throughout these passed 2 weeks I've been having very strong erections with the feeling heavily concentrated in my penis. There were times when I felt the cum or pre-cum on the tip of the urethra opening, but when i checked there was none. My penis felt full and i went to the bathroom a lot for #1. At night I couldnt fall asleep and when i did i usually woke up way b4 my alarm went off. I was somewhat stressed about this. I was also studying bonding behaviours and the benefits of non-orgasmic sex. This also got my engines revving and strengthened my desire for a relationship.

So, long story short, the strong, powerful feeling in my penis moved down to its root, in and around the PC muscles, which was stimulated when I walked this morning. I got that leaky feeling again and before i knew it my flaccid penis was sore, like it gets after a seminal emission. (I got boners on and off throughout the morning. And i had a case of blue balls or at least very sensitive balls that i thought that i might have epididymitis. ) I went to the toilet at the mall and checked to see if i had cummed which i saw i did. It was very pleasurable to say the least.

Whether i wl get a WD tonight remains to be seen. WDs are bonuses.