suspense journal

[suspense]

Well I actually made it to day six by accident. I went on a family vacation with my parents, sister, and nephews so I haven't had too many moments to myself. The other day I was thinking that when I go home in a few days I would try "milking" again (I tried once before with only slight, but intense, results and I wanted a full-on release this time) and I somehow came across this forum. after reading some of your logs and recalling my one attempt in my youth, I became very tempted to abstain for as long as possible in the hopes of having an SE and WD. Well, like I said, its only day six and my blue balls are already killing me. The one good thing is that i am one month in to restoring my foreskin so for 8 to 12 hours a day I have my TLC on which doesn't make me want to touch myself. Anyway, my goal right now is 30 days and if I somehow manage to make it that far hopefully a lot longer. it will be rough because I usually "take care" at least once a day, but I hope to last and see that the rewards are worth it.

[traveling guy]

suspense -

Welcome to forum. Its great that you found the wd forum and have a 'head start'. You have also shown that abstaining is certainly possible. In your case lack of privacy was all that was needed to get underway!

Hope that abstaining is sucessful and that you can experience a wet dream in the near future.

Good luck.

TG

[suspense]

Thanks. It will be very difficult I'm sure. I see that for most people it takes several, maybe three, months of AB before a WD becomes possible...... Anyway, its all willpower i guess. Do the blue balls (stomach pains n such) ever go away? Six days may already be the longest i have ever gone!!

[ellboy642]

hi there. i'm restoring my foreskin too. having a tugger on can really help you from touching yourself. good luck man.

[suspense]

So I know I'm posting a lot in these first few days, sorry. I'm just excited about this and trying to stay focused; who would have thought simply not MBing would be such a challenge? Anyway, as much as i want to have a WD, i think it would be better if it took longer to have one. Although i have nothing to go off of here, i feel that a WD after one or two or three months of AB would probably be much better than one after ten days......

[suspense]

Eight days. I listened to some erotic audio files yesterday but other than a truck load of precum lost, I'm still on track. I woke up with my friend throbbing this morning, which was unusual, but no blue balls yet today and no WD. I'm still hopeful to have one in a month or so, but after reading that some people have been AB for almost a year without any positive results (how is that even physically possible?!?!?!) I'm a little worried. Anyway, I'll be really excited to hit the 15 day mark and again the 30. why is it such a challenge to AB? I like the idea of not MB and since it conscious action it shouldn't be so difficult......i guess we will see how strong or weak my will power really is.

[suspense]

I woke up after about two hours of sleep tonight so hard and ready to explode it was unreal. For just a moment I enjoyed the thought and it almost pushed me over the edge. I had to tense up and hold it in order to keep from spewing cum everywhere. That was an AMAZING feeling and well worth all the prior eight days. Not only did my penis tingle and throb and ache for release but I felt it through my whole body. I have never had a feeling like this before. Just a few notes to myself: I drank a lot of water before going to be, i let myself think erotic thoughts throughout the days,and it seems to get more intense each night. Although i would have loved to release i am glad i held it in. I really want to experience a true WD along with an erotic dream. Also, it worries me that if i don't force myself to stop from cumming during these (idk what it is, is it a WD if i wake up before cumming and don't remember the dream? Or is it an SE? Or just mental masturbation?) that it will reduce my chances of having a WD or make it so i have to wait a lot longer to have a WD.

[suspense]

Ps. I made it to day 9 and I'm really excited with the quick results! Based on everything I read I though it could take from one to three months and I feel like at already at the edge of having my first full on WD! Thank you everybody for the encouragement!!

[bimate]

I woke up after about two hours of sleep tonight so hard and ready to explode it was unreal. For just a moment I enjoyed the thought and it almost pushed me over the edge. I had to tense up and hold it in order to keep from spewing cum everywhere. That was an AMAZING feeling and well worth all the prior eight days. Not only did my penis tingle and throb and ache for release but I felt it through my whole body. I have never had a feeling like this before. Just a few notes to myself: I drank a lot of water before going to be, i let myself think erotic thoughts throughout the days,and it seems to get more intense each night. Although i would have loved to release i am glad i held it in. I really want to experience a true WD along with an erotic dream. Also, it worries me that if i don't force myself to stop from cumming during these (idk what it is, is it a WD if i wake up before cumming and don't remember the dream? Or is it an SE? Or just mental masturbation?) that it will reduce my chances of having a WD or make it so i have to wait a lot longer to have a WD.

It is very possible that you where experiencing a WD while sleeping right before you woke up and can't recall the dream and you where right on the edge of release. Keep it up, I went 30 days and it was awesome, even if our goals are different the outcome is still nearly the same and that's to stop MBing! Good work on your goal and keep going, don't give in to the craving. My new goal is to avoid porn as it was to blame for my recent MBing and that won't hinder me again!

[suspense]

Two more thoughts: allowing myself to get worked up with erotic thoughts n' so on is a mistake. I think it helped set the mood tight before bed, but throughout the day it does nothing more than cause a lot of physical pain and discomfort. I think the best course of action may be to try as hard as possible to focus on only non-sexual things throughout the day and possibly allow a short period before bed to allow my mind to wander. Secondly, I think the absolute minimum period for my experience should be 30 days; it needs to be worth while. Ultimately, if this is as rewarding as it has been so far and I find a way to deal with or avoid the physical pain I may consider somewhat of a lifestyle of this. Seeing others who have had a rewarding experience of half a year or more, and now having some sort of a glimpse in to the immense physical and emotional rewards of total abstinence has really opened my eyes, and its been less than two weeks! I was truly over sexed and MB way too much for way too long. I see no reason why I can't make it to 30 days and once I do I will set a new, realistic, goal for the next period (without a break).

[suspense]

ten days!!! Aside from very painful parts in the morning it was easy. I just didn't focus on sex at all and it probably helped that I was in airports or flying all day.

[determined11]

you can do it Suspense! stay strong, buddy! lets put it this way, I will stay AB as long as you do, huh? deal? haha

[suspense]

Deal,but I have to tell you.....i have no urge to MB at all! Its totally unusual for me because when I am not having sex I MB at least once a day....often more,but the thrill and feelings I am getting, as well as the possible WD and SE will keep me on this high for a VERY long time so be prepared =D

[determined11]

let the suspense starts hahah

[suspense]

I just realized I may have committed to a very long term thing.......i like it. Notte,sweet dreams mwahahaha

[suspense]

Something pretty neat happened today. I was hard and just tried to concentrate to see if I could intentionally make a little precum come out with no touching. It was pretty amazing how much came out! I do not consider this cheating at all, no cum came and there was no touching....but a neat little experiment and something I have NEVER done before.

[Texanguy]

It sounds like you are enjoying exploring the new territory of abstaining. Not everyone experiences things the same way or with the same intensity, but it seems like what you are experiencing is not unusual. Making more precum (even a lot more) when abstaining is pretty normal. So is excitement and arousal that involves the whole body more. You can get erections more easily, but it is also possible to be excited and aroused with little or no erection at times, especially as you abstain longer.

A really cool thing about it is that these effects of abstaining are all natural, normal, and built in to our brains and bodies. There's no doubt about it, MB inhibits these natural and normal feelings and functions -- not to mention WDs. Frequent MB causes a reduced or zero capability to make precum. It causes arousal to be less over the whole body and more just in the penis, and it makes erections happen more easily with less total body arousal. Frequent MB makes arousal too connected to MB, so that you need MB to sustain the feelings, but it also quickly ends them. The total thrilled and excited arousal feeling is less when MBing. Anybody who says that it's boring and unexciting to abstain from MB simply hasn't tried it.

I think an argument can be made that all the positive feelings and effects of AB, (including but not limited to WDs) indicate that nature prefers and encourages us not to MB by giving us positive rewards for abstaining.

Good luck in your journey. Hopefully you will achieve WDs easily and frequently (which has little impact on the effects and feelings of AB), and will be happy with a new lifestyle and a new outlet.

[suspense]

thanks, Tex! Day 11, off to the office!

[suspense]

So I really don't understand the randomness of the SE. I was sitting at work try to crunch numbers and all the sudden, without I single sexual thought, I found myself fighting with all I've got to stop one from happening. My god it was a good feeling, but it would have been terribly awkward. I was barely able to fight it off and now I've got a bit of a case of the blue balls. If I were at home I would have enjoyed it, but I guess my body enjoys torturing me at work instead. It would have been my first.......

[suspense]

Day 12.....

[suspense]

So part of the fun for me is the constant increase in excitement. The last two days I have done everything I can to increase the excitement, short of touching my penis. Its great being at that spot just before cumming without the release and let down. I feel relaxed and calm after. It has been extremely enjoyable. My question is, since I have been leaking precum like mad when I'm excited, am I decreasing my chances of having a WD?

[suspense]

A few other observations..... Blue balls don't seem to be coming back anymore no matter how much I tease myself (knock on wood). Has anyone else noticed this? Also a few days back I felt like I would cum if the wind blew my way and now, even tough I haven't had a released (except for a gallon of precum), the feeling is gone. Is it because I allow myself to get too excited and now my body doesn't want a release? Weird. I was also hoping to have had a WD by now and although I feel like I came close once.....nothing. :'(.

[jonesz]

I've been following your journal and, for the most part, I've experienced similar results as you.However, recently,I've consciously toned down my daytime arousal.

My last wet dream was last year(late June).I did what you've been doing and did indeed get a wd(after two weeks of ab). I hope you get yours in the coming days,too!

[suspense]

Thank you very much . So what is your longest AB period without a WD? Do you think the daytime arousal is holding you back?

[jonesz]

My longest no ejaculation period is three weeks.This was in two different occasions and both result with a wd.They were the summer of 2008 and the summer of 2011. I did moderate porn watching and a lot of edging,especially in 2008.

In 2008 I was doing a silly "penis balloning" experiment.You can google it but like all PE methods it doesn't work.Last year I was on vacation and decided to try holding off ejaculation for as long as possible.In both instances I had a wet dream within two week.2008's wet dream occurred on the couch after an intense ballooning session. 2011's was a night in which I was listening to a lot of erotic audio and had a wd later that night.


In between then and now I've had two more wd dreams scattered in between.This summer I wanted to try something different.I resolved to stop masturbating for the foreseeable future.As I read more and more posts on here, porn is next to go.So far I've had more difficulty letting go of porn.I'm doing better though.The less porn I watch the more my daytime arousal has decreased. During the night I have a lot intense erections.Unfortunately no wet dreams yet and I'm approaching two weeks now.

[suspense]

Thanks you again. That was exactly the information I wad looking for. It sounds like our situations are similar. Well, day 13 here we go.......

[ellboy642]

Wow. wish i could produce a lot of precum too. Mine was from a drop to nothing at all.

[wtdra]

13 day!
Your WD is not very far. Just try not to think about porn a lot.
Wish you luck!

[traveling guy]

suspense -

Glad to see you are still sucessfuly abstaining. Similar to Jonesz, I tried no porn for my latest abstaining period and got to a wd quite a bit quicker. So based on my experience that may help. Good luck.

TG

[suspense]

Day 14....two weeks....for some reason I'm really horny again today. I didn't edge at all last night, thanks to some new friends in chat that kept me typing . I feel like I woke up very near a WD this morning. Well, I guess I am giving up edging all together if it means I get closer to a WD. I really love feeling this horny.