Xeom's Log

[xeom]

Hey everyone,

I've been reading this site on and off for awhile but haven't posted until now. Anyway, I decided to see how long I could AB and see what kind of WDs I can get.

Here's some background:
I've had WDs a bunch of times in the past, but I can never predict when it will happen. It's more likely when I haven't MB in awhile but it's not necessarily the case. I find WDs really enjoyable, more so than an orgasm I can achieve through MB, as long as I can remember the dream. Waking up with messy sheets with no memory of your dream kinda sucks, so I'm also trying to work on lucid dreaming.
Currently, I usually MB every two days. But often it's a lot less frequent, maybe twice a week, because I'm in law school and I often find I'm just too exhausted at the end of the day. I have tried AB for longer periods of time but it gets pretty tough after a week so I just give up. This time, though, I want to push it and see how long I can go. The most I've gone was 3 weeks, when I was working at a sleep-away camp in the summer before college and I had no way to MB. I only had one WD during that period, on the very last night. Hopefully it will come sooner during this time.

So, today is Day Zero. Tomorrow begins a new period of AB. Not sure how often I'll update but I'll try to make it daily.

Wish me luck!

[icandoit2]

Welcome and good luck!

[xeom]

Day 1

Feeling good. Mondays are my crazy long days where I come home too exhausted to MB anyway. Last night I had a bunch of vivid dreams. Nothing sexual, but I woke up really hard. Probably something I should get used to from now on.

By the way, I woke up once during the night and wrote down my dream. It looks ridiculous when I look at it now, but it really does help me remember what happened. I heard this is a good way to practice at lucid dreaming. Also, I usually take melatonin to help me sleep, and that's supposed to cause more vivid dreams. It's a cheap over-the-counter pill.

It is hard to not look at porn, which I was in the habit of doing every day even when I wasn't MBing. But I'm determined to kick this habit as well.

[mikeyj]

Good luck, Xeom! A dream journal is an awesome way to learn dream recall. Another technique is to simply lie still and quiet when you fielrst wake up. Don't start thinking about your day...just let the flickers of dream images come to you.

Get used to the hardons! Feels so awesome though when you're fully loaded and throbbing away.

Enjoy the journey as much as the destination. That's wha t I'm focusing on every day.

Good to see you participating!
Take it easy.
Mikey

[xeom]

Day 2

Still feeling good. Not that horny. But usually I MB every two days, so I predict my penis will start to feel a lot more sensitive in the coming days.

Don't recall any dreams from last night. I'll try and think happy thoughts before bed tonight.

Next week could be hard, I'll be on spring break but mostly sitting around the house with a lot of free time. This week I'm pretty busy so it hasn't been much of a problem to avoid MBing.

Onward!

[xeom]

Day 4

Feeling hornier these past couple days. But still holding strong. No porn, no touching. Gets tough, though, seeing pretty girls on campus. Luckily I haven't been getting boners in public, but from reading other people's logs, I know that might be ahead of me.

Had some crazy vivid dreams last night but nothing sexual. I gotta get better at getting lucid.

[nsx]

Good luck with your AB Xeom. Yep, public boners could well be on the way. But think of the alternative, imagine if you could not get an erection. So I reckon you should rejoice if you get a public erection. It would be really cool if you walk around campus and see all those pretty girls with their pretty legs, and just keep on walking around with your dick standing to attention. So what? If people don't like it, it's too bad, it's not like you are deliberately doing it.

[xeom]

haha thanks for the support guys. it will get harder as spring comes and the girls start wearing skirts.

Day 6

I was staying at a friend's place in new york last night, been busy so not thinking about MB. No WD's yet. Haven't been that horny. But spring break is next week, could be tough with lots more free time.

[xeom]

Day 7

I woke up in the middle of the night with a raging hard-on. I honestly thought I was about to cum, but I did not.

Then I went back to sleep and had a very vivid dream.
I don't remember all the details now, but the good news is that I was able to become ludid!

In the dream, I was at a bar during happy hour. It was a law school event. There were some cute British exchange students there. One girl came up to me and said, "Hi, I'm Kalilah! It's a German name." (I know, it makes no sense.) At this point, I went outside by myself and I looked up at the night sky. I said to myself, "ah, what's the point? it's not real, it's just a dream." Then I realized: "I am dreaming!" At this point I became lucid; I realized I could do whatever I want and control the dream. I went back into the bar to find my darling Kalilah. But in my excitement, I started to lose the dream. And then the alarm woke me up.

I hope to get better at lucid dreaming, then I'll be able to have sexy dreams, and WD's, whenever I want.

Anyway, it has been one week since I last MB'd. I'm feeling somewhat horny, mostly because it's Sunday and I have nothing to do. Maybe some exercise will take my mind off it.

[nsx]

Sounds good Xeom. Sounds like you're well on the way to good experiences. Sounds like a good life too, getting to walk around and see girls in short skirts showing off their shapely female legs! Yes!

[xeom]

haha don't get too excited. they're law school girls... not exactly models.

[xeom]

Day 8

Still not that horny. I'm quite surprised actually. Not a lot of boners either, but it is more sensitive than usual. I feel like if I touched it, it would respond immediately. But I'm still not looking at porn, not even hot pictures of celebrities, because I know it can be a slippery slope.

I think WDs happen more frequently the longer you're asleep, at least in my experience, and I haven't been able to sleep late in awhile. But I don't have anything to do tomorrow, so hopefully I can sleep in and maybe something will happen!

[xeom]

Day 9

This is tough. I have waaaay too much free time this week. Trying hard not to look at porn...

Getting kind of impatient about WDs. I wish there was more of a pattern to them. Sometimes I've gotten them after only a day or so. Once it took me three weeks. So I'm hoping I at least get one before I reach Day 21.

[mikeyj]

Fight the fight, Xeom!
When you're tempted make a point of getting outside, or housecleaning, or anything physical. If you get blueballs, lift something heavy using your legs. It helps to redistribute blood.
And try the chat room. Njaza has helped me out more than once, and there are plenty of other guys as supportive as he is. Sometimes just chatting about it takes some of the power away from the Horny Monster.
All the best.
Mikey

[xeom]

Thanks for the advice!

Day 10

This is the longest I've gone without MB in recent history. The only longer stretch was 21 days, when I was 19.

No WDs yet but I'm hanging in there! Thankfully no blue balls yet.

[xeom]

Day 11

I'm very proud of myself making it this far. But I wish I'd have some WDs already!

Been pretty horny today but could be a lot worse. No big urges to MB at least. On days I exercise, I'm just too physically tired by the end of the day. It also helps that I live with my parents and they're always around. When I've been on my own, there's a big temptation to MB at any time of the day, but as it is now, I can only really do it at night, and I'm usually too tired by then.

Not sure if I'm feeling the "T-Buzz" feeling that people on the forum always talk about. Mostly I'm just frustrated because I want some release!

[xeom]

Day 12

Still No WDs. Horniness about normal.

I've been trying to think sexy thoughts before falling asleep so I can have sexy dreams, but it's hard for some reason. Haven't been with a girl in awhile and I have a crap imagination. Maybe I got too overly reliant on porn.

I took a shower with socks on today, based on what I read in someone else's log. Surprisingly, it is a bit of a turn-on. But it's kind of pointless since I can't MB anyway. And then in the end I just have soaking wet socks.

Oh well. Staying positive! Never know when a WD will hit ya.

[mikeyj]

You're right, Xeom, you never do know. I waited three weeks but expected to wait much, much longer like some of the veteran ABers who are still pursuing the elusive WD. It makes me feel a bit guilty, actually, but release is inevitable sooner or later. Stick to the plan. You can do this.
Mikey

[xeom]

Day 13

Pretty normal today. Woke up some intense morning wood but other than that horniess hasn't been too bad.

I'm going to try watching just a little porn before going to sleep. I think it will kickstart my brain into sexy mode and translate into WDs. Of course there's the danger that porn can lead to MB, but honestly I think I have enough self-control. I don't feel an automatic, knee-jerk reaction to MB every time I see porn.

Anyway, we'll see how it goes!

[mikeyj]

Good luck, man! It totally worked for me though most guys will advise against it. Keep us posted.

[maktub100]

Day 13

Pretty normal today. Woke up some intense morning wood but other than that horniess hasn't been too bad.

I'm going to try watching just a little porn before going to sleep. I think it will kickstart my brain into sexy mode and translate into WDs. Of course there's the danger that porn can lead to MB, but honestly I think I have enough self-control. I don't feel an automatic, knee-jerk reaction to MB every time I see porn.

Anyway, we'll see how it goes!

Congrats on almost 2 weeks...!!

Is this your longest AB?

[xeom]

Day 13

Pretty normal today. Woke up some intense morning wood but other than that horniess hasn't been too bad.

I'm going to try watching just a little porn before going to sleep. I think it will kickstart my brain into sexy mode and translate into WDs. Of course there's the danger that porn can lead to MB, but honestly I think I have enough self-control. I don't feel an automatic, knee-jerk reaction to MB every time I see porn.

Anyway, we'll see how it goes!

Congrats on almost 2 weeks...!!

Is this your longest AB?

I AB'd for 21 days before, though not by choice. This is my longest AB in recent years, and intentionally.

[xeom]

Day 14

WOO 2 WEEKS! No WDs and I can't remember my dreams last night but I woke up with morning wood as usual. I'm hoping it will come soon. Tomorrow classes start again so I won't have much time for MB'ing anyway.

I think the key to not getting frustrated is not expecting a WD, and pushing thoughts of sex out of your head during the day. When not thinking about it, I generally feel better than I did when I MB'd regularly. Now I have more time and mental energy to focus on other things.

[xeom]

Day 15

Busy day. Not that horny. Still not a lot of boners during the day. But my balls feel bigger. Still waiting for that sweet release!

[xeom]

Day 16

Even more exhausted today. Didn't sleep too well and kept waking up. Luckily I can sleep til 10am tomorrow. And saw lots of cute girls around campus today, showing more skin because of the warmer weather. Maybe I'll be blessed with a WD!

[xeom]

Day 17

No luck yet. But staying strong, and eager to reach day 21 and get a new personal record!

[xeom]

Day 18

Another normal day.
Been pretty horny but I still don't get a lot of boners, thankfully.
Not sure what my dreams have been like. Haven't been able to sleep well this week, maybe still adjusting to day savings.

It's been a stressful time in general. I'm graduating soon and don't have a job. Does anyone know if stress affects whether you get a WD?

[dec2]

Not sure what my dreams have been like. Haven't been able to sleep well this week, maybe still adjusting to day savings.

xeom, sorry to hear that. Hang in there and hopefully you'll adjust.

It's been a stressful time in general. I'm graduating soon and don't have a job.

I hope you'll be able to find a job soon. Monster.com, Indeed.com, and CareerBuilder.com are a good starting point if you haven't checked them out already.

Does anyone know if stress affects whether you get a WD?

I was incredibly stressed around the time of my first WD, so there could be some truth to stress being a contributor to a WD. At the time I had returned to college (while still working) and had 2 exams on the same Thursday. I was also hiding this fact from my employers because I didn't want them to find out and think I was going to bail on them (which I had no plans to do).

dec2

[xeom]

Not sure what my dreams have been like. Haven't been able to sleep well this week, maybe still adjusting to day savings.

I hope you'll be able to find a job soon. Monster.com, Indeed.com, and CareerBuilder.com are a good starting point if you haven't checked them out already.

Thanks for the suggestions. Unfortunately it's just really hard in general finding any entry-level attorney jobs. After the big firms and government agencies have hired, it's down to whatever the small firms are offering, and they want experienced attorneys. Hopefully things will start picking up but for the time being the market is really saturated.

[xeom]

Day 19

No luck yet, but tomorrow, at last, I can sleep as late as I want! I hope I can sleep long and deep and have some good dreams!