I will do it this time.

[determined11]

Long time no update.

Thanks Googoochoo and 6years127 for the heads up. I hope you are still AB googoochoo


92 days no MB (Record is 311)
78 days no edging with my hands. (Record is 311)
61 days no touch no physical stimulation whatsoever!!! (Record is 311)



3 months is not my best record by a long shot. My recent best numbers are around 126 last year and 80 days 2 years ago. so this is almost the third. However, 61 days with no physical stimulation (touch, hump, etc) is indeed a big record. I don't remember I did that since 7 years or so. Even in my AB streak last year, I did edge everyday with my hands. now I am hands free for 78 days. WOW

It is getting easier as time goes by. I am trying to keep myself busy, also I don't feel any urge to touch myself, well to be more accurate, of course from time to time, I want to do it, or even hump the bed, but is it easier to fight back now and resist the temptation than before.

Also, I am trying to enter my third phase and try to control my thoughts and online activities. Trying to stop sexual thoughts, stop indulging in looking at girls and checking them in streets, etc. I need a relationship badly now. I need to have a whole girl in my life. I didn't have that urge before.. well I had it of course, but MB, watching girls online, etc kills that urge... now the urge is bigger. And yes, I am not ABing for a WD, I am Aing for a better me, a better life, and a new person.

My mental focus is in the sky and I am trying to leverage that.

good luck to everyone.

Hey determined11,

Great to know you have been AB'ing successfully for such a long time now..I think it's fantastic you've stuck out so long..

It's nice to read that it gets easier as time goes by...I wanna experience that feeling of easiness too..

Hmmm, controlling your thoughts and online activities is the right thing to do..I'm doing that too...

I totally understand your 'need' for a relationship...that is natural..I agree that porn, mb kills of this urge..I'm sure the increased testosterone levels u have accumulated by AB'ing will drive you to find the right girl..

All the best!

Thanks Maktub100. You can AB if you decide to do so. 14 days at your age is like 2 months at mine. However, don't take age as an execuse. I found it hard to AB in my early 20s yet I was able to AB for 3 months when I was 17 when I decided to do so (had an important thing in my life that I was working for and needed my concentration). Then I went back afterwards. so it is a decision and if you take it at your age, your body and mind will thank you when you are my age.

Good luck!

[determined11]

It's not testosterone, it's dopamine that is present in elevated concentrations in the brain when AB. But I suspect that when AB'ing, eventually the tendency to stare at girls in the real world, with no intention of approaching them (as one would do to girls in photos online) fades. There's no question that AB'ing from PMO will make you more successful in dating and relationships as you become more sociable and more extroverted.

Hey RonaldReagan.

You are right, it is dopamain indeed. I also agree that checking girls casually (i.e being creepy ) won't fade. However, to get the full benefit of dopamain, I think I have to stop that. Think about it, it has all properties of PMO, esp. the colidge effect, you train your brain to release dompain when you see a hot girl, and you want it again and again and again. Also it has the same variety concept, there is always a new girl, a younger one, a prettier one, or even just a different one that keeps you excited. Just a waste of dopamin. I need to stop that and I am working on it. First step is to stop checking girls online as in facebook and what not (I don't watch porn already). Then it would be easier to stop stating at girls in the streets. Also I found it hard to get into a relationship when you stare at girls (without the tendency to approach them) as this puts you in the creepy zone and no one would be interested in dating me.

[googoogchoo]

Yes i am still Ab'ing and also reading your posts

[determined11]

Thanks, googoochoo. feel free to update my blog on my behalf. last year i have another person who also had the same starting day as mine and he used to update my journal when I am not here.


100 days no MB (Record is 311)
86 days no edging with my hands. (Record is 311)
69 days no touch no physical stimulation whatsoever!!! (Record is 311)



first milestone reached.

100 days of no MB!!! woo hoo!

100 days of solitude for my sperms and seminal fluids. They have been left alone for so long.
100 days my body was breaking sperms and seminal fluid and recycling the precious nutritions.
100 days I gave to my brain to recover from the chemical damage daily orgasm caused.
100 days during which my dopamine level was trying to rebalance.

I felt the effect of all of these hidden phenomena on my daily life. I am sharper, more focused, energetic, more balanced, etc

I don't think I will go back again. the secret this time is the added two counters: no edging, and no stimulations whatsoever! Last year, I knew I was going to fail at any day as I used to edge daily for hours. Also last year after reaching 100 days, I was no where close to the T-buzz levels I am having now.

Time for the next two counters to reach 100 days ( my next two milestones).

[determined11]

few days ago I had a weird dream. I don't remember the details but all what I remember was that I was humping the bed and suddenly wake up and siad to myself stop stop what you are doing? Honestly, I don't remember if I was just dreaming or I was actually physically humping the couch. Is it really possible to physically move and hump the couch while you are asleep? I really felt that I was moving and actually humping the couch.

Anyhow, the thing is that I was not ALONE during this time. I was in a group of people and I was just taking a nap and few people were close by (including girls). After I wake up one of the girls was giving me weird looks. very weird. no, not dirty locks, just the looks that a girl gives to a man when she is excited and interested. That is why I thougtht may be I was actually moving in my dream and she may be thought I was doing it while faking being asleep.

Shame on my unconscious mind, it is trying to get a hold of me while I am asleep after I deprived it from that feeling when I am conscious. No say. AB will go on.

[Overload]

Congratulations on reaching your achievement determined!!! You're a really good ABer! Keep going and stay strong!

About your question, yes, you can hump your bed or MB while in your dream. It happened me before, and I was shocked when I woke up and see my hand grabbing my penis and rubbing it.

You have a really good willpower. I can't control myself 100% when I'm half-awake.

[determined11]

Congratulations on reaching your achievement determined!!! You're a really good ABer! Keep going and stay strong!

About your question, yes, you can hump your bed or MB while in your dream. It happened me before, and I was shocked when I woke up and see my hand grabbing my penis and rubbing it.

You have a really good willpower. I can't control myself 100% when I'm half-awake.

Thanks overload. I guess i t gets easier as you one becomes older. At you age, you are doing fantastic. I applaud your interest in AB. At you age I would have hard time getting your record. But I think you can achieve any record at any age, but the will power need to be higher and stronger. you can do it

[determined11]

these days I am not doing good at all in terms of the no-online stimulation thingy. I check girls everywhere like crazy and want more and more and more. first, it wasts a lot of my time. second, I Can not concentrate on anything, once I stop checking some girls online or at the street, I want to go and get more looks. I Really need to stop that.

A new counter will be added from now on and I will try as hard as I can to keep it up.

0 days of not being creepy. i.e casually looking at girls online or checking them on the streets with no intention of talking to them

lets see, that is going to be a tough call!

[RonaldReagan]

It's not testosterone, it's dopamine that is present in elevated concentrations in the brain when AB. But I suspect that when AB'ing, eventually the tendency to stare at girls in the real world, with no intention of approaching them (as one would do to girls in photos online) fades. There's no question that AB'ing from PMO will make you more successful in dating and relationships as you become more sociable and more extroverted.

Hey RonaldReagan.

You are right, it is dopamain indeed. I also agree that checking girls casually (i.e being creepy ) won't fade. However, to get the full benefit of dopamain, I think I have to stop that. Think about it, it has all properties of PMO, esp. the colidge effect, you train your brain to release dompain when you see a hot girl, and you want it again and again and again. Also it has the same variety concept, there is always a new girl, a younger one, a prettier one, or even just a different one that keeps you excited. Just a waste of dopamin. I need to stop that and I am working on it. First step is to stop checking girls online as in facebook and what not (I don't watch porn already). Then it would be easier to stop stating at girls in the streets. Also I found it hard to get into a relationship when you stare at girls (without the tendency to approach them) as this puts you in the creepy zone and no one would be interested in dating me.

Yes, you are so right! But I think giving up PMO will make you less creepy over time. At first, it will make you more creepy because you might use women in the real world as a subsitute for porn, but eventually the tendency to stare at women fades, I'm sure.

[determined11]

It's not testosterone, it's dopamine that is present in elevated concentrations in the brain when AB. But I suspect that when AB'ing, eventually the tendency to stare at girls in the real world, with no intention of approaching them (as one would do to girls in photos online) fades. There's no question that AB'ing from PMO will make you more successful in dating and relationships as you become more sociable and more extroverted.

Hey RonaldReagan.

You are right, it is dopamain indeed. I also agree that checking girls casually (i.e being creepy ) won't fade. However, to get the full benefit of dopamain, I think I have to stop that. Think about it, it has all properties of PMO, esp. the colidge effect, you train your brain to release dompain when you see a hot girl, and you want it again and again and again. Also it has the same variety concept, there is always a new girl, a younger one, a prettier one, or even just a different one that keeps you excited. Just a waste of dopamin. I need to stop that and I am working on it. First step is to stop checking girls online as in facebook and what not (I don't watch porn already). Then it would be easier to stop stating at girls in the streets. Also I found it hard to get into a relationship when you stare at girls (without the tendency to approach them) as this puts you in the creepy zone and no one would be interested in dating me.

Yes, you are so right! But I think giving up PMO will make you less creepy over time. At first, it will make you more creepy because you might use women in the real world as a subsitute for porn, but eventually the tendency to stare at women fades, I'm sure.

I hope. Also getting a relationship will help. and for a relatioship I need to be less creepy otherwise, I am not a dating-material. so more incentive to AB from looking as well.

[RonaldReagan]

Here's a suggestion: use the 3 second rule. Looking at a girl on the sidewalk or on a metro car, or whatever, for more than 3 seconds is a violation of the rule. Less than 3 seconds is not staring and therefore not creepy.

I've gotten dates with girls by just going up to them and talking to them. Or sometimes a good conversation that doesn't lead to anything else. You have to believe that you're datable. Start talking to every attractive woman that you see who isn't obviously attached, or otherwise occupied. Or at least 3 per day. It gets easier, and it makes you feel better about yourself, even if you don't get a date or a number. Just a suggestion!

[nsx]

Fantastic log Determined, however I can't help but feel a little depressed by it. In that, you AB for so long yet you get no WD. My motivation to complete my 50 day challenge with all 3 counters (ie. no MB, no edging, no bed humping) turning together to make 50 days is to get a WD. That is by far my key objective. Since you have failed to get a WD thus far in this AB period (please correct me if I am wrong), then that is why I feel a little depressed by your log.

Well done though for moving your 3 counters so high. Good luck with moving the fourth counter (not looking at arousing things online) to a higher level.

[determined11]

thanks guys for the heads up. And NSX sorry to disappoint you but my last WD came after 9 months.

Anyhow, here is an update:

114 days no MB (Record is 311)
100 days no edging with my hands. (Record is 311)
83 days no touch no physical stimulation whatsoever!!! (Record is 311)

Second milestone, 100 days of no edging with my hands.

[determined11]

I had a bad dream today. I was dreaming that I humped the bed and ejaculated and then I had to reset my counters. Then the next day I did it again .I was feeling very depressed (in the dream) and feeling very bad. Then I suddenly waked up and realized it was a dream.. but this time I didn't feel that I was humping the bed in my dream so it was just a nightmare not a sexually exciting one.


anyhow, I am glad I am still AB and I don't have to reset any counters.

so here goes more 3 days added.

117 days no MB (Record is 311)
103 days no edging with my hands. (Record is 311)
86 days no touch no physical stimulation whatsoever!!! (Record is 311)

[nsx]

Thanks for the reply Determined. We'll see how I go with a WD. Not all people get them so easily, and I think I'm in the "not easily" category. I'm going for 50 days, then I'll reassess once I get there.

[determined11]

Thanks for the reply Determined. We'll see how I go with a WD. Not all people get them so easily, and I think I'm in the "not easily" category. I'm going for 50 days, then I'll reassess once I get there.

yes it is hard for some of us stay determined

[determined11]

hey everyone.

I have a serious problem and I would like your opinion.

I used to AB before , but not like this time where I stopped edging with my hands and humping the bed. Basically no physical stumulation whatsoever for almost 90+ days now. When I used to AB before, and edge, I used to be supper horny. Now I am in trouble. I am totally cold, I mean there is little that excites me sexually, I mean yes I get exicted for hot girls but my deck is very cold, it just shrinks when I think about sex rather than getting hard! I though things will go away in few days but it is still there. I have never been like that before.

does anyone experience ED while withdrawing form MB and edging? how long does it last and how did you go over it?

FYI, I have morning woods sometimes but not as strong and hard as I used to have them before and they are accompanied with pain in my deck. Also I used to have pain when I urinate, it is like a pain when I am giving the first drop or urines.

Any advise, should I see a doctor? in my earlier AB stread when I Also stopped edging, I didn't notice this thing. The think is that I Am loooking hard for a relationship and this thing is really stopping me. it is a chicken and egg problem, I might be well if I get into a relationship but I Can not risk embarsments. I was tempted today in the morning when I have some moderate (not so hard) monring woods to hump the bed to keep it going.

thoughts?

[nsx]

Hi Determined.

I've noticed a number of problems with AB. Yes, sometimes my dick doesn't seem to work as well. Sometimes I have pains. Sometimes I feel less turned on than normal, sometimes I feel more turned on. It is very hard to determine the exact causes though. If you think it will make you feel better you can speak with your doctor. All I know is that AB can be very annoying!

I agree though, that doing edging while AB does make one hornier and more keen to look at females.

I would recommend to go out and buy a magazine of nude girls or buy a DVD of nude girls. That's if you are excited by seeing nude girls - and you are not really a man if you do not like looking at nude girls. Now it may be that due to watching tons of porn that may not excite you. However, try some female nudity first. By this, i mean get the material. Just look at it, and see if you can get an erection.

If this doesn't work. Go and find some online things that you like, and just look at it. See if you can get an erection from that. Let us know how you go.

[determined11]

Hi Determined.

I've noticed a number of problems with AB. Yes, sometimes my dick doesn't seem to work as well. Sometimes I have pains. Sometimes I feel less turned on than normal, sometimes I feel more turned on. It is very hard to determine the exact causes though. If you think it will make you feel better you can speak with your doctor. All I know is that AB can be very annoying!

I agree though, that doing edging while AB does make one hornier and more keen to look at females.

I have been through all what you have been describing. But this time the not-so-turned on thing stayed a bit longer. But also I have not tried the no-stimulation phase for that long before. so it is a new thing

I would recommend to go out and buy a magazine of nude girls or buy a DVD of nude girls. That's if you are excited by seeing nude girls - and you are not really a man if you do not like looking at nude girls. Now it may be that due to watching tons of porn that may not excite you. However, try some female nudity first. By this, i mean get the material. Just look at it, and see if you can get an erection.
If this doesn't work. Go and find some online things that you like, and just look at it. See if you can get an erection from that. Let us know how you go.

Well, it is not that if I am not turned on by nude girls then I am not a man. Ok here is the thing, I am not turned on by artificial things. I like natural scense. so if a girl is nude on a nude magazine, It turns me off, but if it is in a movie before making love to her mate, then i turns me on. do you get it? I also don't like watching couple having sex in front of me, doesn't mean I don't like having sex, just don't find it natural to get turned on by two people making love. it is better for me to be the one making it

Anyhow, yes, looking again at girls online turns me on to some degree. I guess this feeling I had is natural. My doctor warned me before that if I keep MB that much then when I stop I will feel that I have issues while I actually don't have issues. I used to have my deck erect everyday for a few times, so now I feel I have issues because I am trying to replicate this many erections without stimulation which won't happen so it gives me the impression that I have problem while in fact I don't.

so no problems just wrong expectations.

[determined11]

happy new MB-free year everyone

[determined11]

131 days no MB (Record is 311)
117 days no edging with my hands. (Record is 311)
100 days no touch no physical stimulation whatsoever!!! (Record is 311)


Third milestone 100 days of no physical stimulation whatsoever.

I am updating this as I really need a lift in my spirit. I am really really psychologically down from many things happening in my personal life. I believe this is the reason why I am not sexually exited recently despite the extra sensitivity I must have built from AB that long. Depression and sexuality never goes together. I hope I can recover from that depression. It really overshadow any T-buzz I am gaining from AB. I see life very dark in front of me. anything iritate me nowadays. I feel everyone around me have ulterior motives. really not the best days in my life. I thought I would be much happier when I reach this milestone but really don't even have any spirit to celebrate it.

[Maximus]

Sorry to know you are going through a difficult period. Please don't lose hope. I am sure there are plenty of us who are willing to support you and give some practical suggestions, if possible.

[nsx]

I feel exactly as you do Determined. I thought I would be happy at having gone almost two months without MB. But life feels bleak to me, and I am not happy at all. I think also like you that is killing any sexual desire I have.

All I can say is, we must stay in there. No matter how bad things are going, if we hold on, then at some point, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, maybe next month we will feel better, irrespective of if we have a WD or not. Something, some event, some person will pick us up at some point. Please keep the faith.

Try and listen to some music while doing your daily tasks, and go to sleep at night with the solace that you may have a WD. You have a chance, as I have a chance. If we were just MBing or having sex, we would not have a chance of a WD. But although the chance is slim, we have a chance. We have a chance, we are still alive.

[Mario777]

[b]
I am updating this as I really need a lift in my spirit. I am really really psychologically down from many things happening in my personal life. I believe this is the reason why I am not sexually exited recently despite the extra sensitivity I must have built from AB that long. Depression and sexuality never goes together. I hope I can recover from that depression. It really overshadow any T-buzz I am gaining from AB. I see life very dark in front of me. anything iritate me nowadays. I feel everyone around me have ulterior motives. really not the best days in my life. I thought I would be much happier when I reach this milestone but really don't even have any spirit to celebrate it.

I know what you feel. I lost motivation on day 99 on my previous AB attempt. Right now it is day 156 for me, but I have lost much of the motivation again. And it seems like all sexuality diminishes around day 50 or so for me. Kind of eunuch feeling. I can't describe it other ways.
I get easily irritated as well. I do not set huge goals, just trying to finish another day. It seems like such "living one day at a time" condition could last quite long. But there's not much joy.
I don't know if it helps you, but you are not alone.

[determined11]

Sorry to know you are going through a difficult period. Please don't lose hope. I am sure there are plenty of us who are willing to support you and give some practical suggestions, if possible.

Thanks Maximus for the heads up. I really appreciate it. I will try to catch you online sometime.

[determined11]

I feel exactly as you do Determined. I thought I would be happy at having gone almost two months without MB. But life feels bleak to me, and I am not happy at all. I think also like you that is killing any sexual desire I have.

All I can say is, we must stay in there. No matter how bad things are going, if we hold on, then at some point, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, maybe next month we will feel better, irrespective of if we have a WD or not. Something, some event, some person will pick us up at some point. Please keep the faith.

Try and listen to some music while doing your daily tasks, and go to sleep at night with the solace that you may have a WD. You have a chance, as I have a chance. If we were just MBing or having sex, we would not have a chance of a WD. But although the chance is slim, we have a chance. We have a chance, we are still alive.

Yes NSX, we must preserve no matter what. we have to go over this plateau phases ASAP.

[determined11]

I am updating this as I really need a lift in my spirit. I am really really psychologically down from many things happening in my personal life. I believe this is the reason why I am not sexually exited recently despite the extra sensitivity I must have built from AB that long. Depression and sexuality never goes together. I hope I can recover from that depression. It really overshadow any T-buzz I am gaining from AB. I see life very dark in front of me. anything iritate me nowadays. I feel everyone around me have ulterior motives. really not the best days in my life. I thought I would be much happier when I reach this milestone but really don't even have any spirit to celebrate it.

I know what you feel. I lost motivation on day 99 on my previous AB attempt. Right now it is day 156 for me, but I have lost much of the motivation again. And it seems like all sexuality diminishes around day 50 or so for me.[b] Kind of eunuch feeling. I can't describe it other ways.
I get easily irritated as well. I do not set huge goals, just trying to finish another day. It seems like such "living one day at a time" condition could last quite long. But there's not much joy.
I don't know if it helps you, but you are not alone.

That is an interesting way of putting it Mario777. I tried to think about it again and I think given what you, myself, nsx and Maximus said, we all have the same problem. The problem is actually not on our deck but in our brain. Few days ago, I looked again over lot sof online erotic material and I got an got excited and was really really about to hump or edge but I perserved. That tells you that we don't have a physical problem, when we need erection, we will get it. The problem is in our expectations. As we used to MB more than once a day (at least fo rme and many others), we get used to have quick erections, and our deck was alway active, now after I started to AB, I want the same feeling again just to feel that I am normal. But that won't work. Our brain realized that we are teasing it, in other words, durin guring our AB we won't get a releases, and we just end up tourturing ourselves. Sot if plays the trick of forcing us to go back to MB as much as it can, but we preserved and when the brain gives up on this path, it just tries to stop us form getting that easy erection just to save us the trouble of fighting it back. That is the current phase. But we interpret it as being sexually inept and having ED problem while we are not actually.

The thing about motivation is also a side effect. when we MB we realease dopamine, the feel good and reward hormone. Our brain did all what it can to lets us go back to MB so that it will have dompamine but we resisted. Without dopamine one feels less motivated and less worthy of living. During the fight-phase, we were busy AB but still have erections. In the second phase where our deck is not as active, we realize the problem more. we feel we have ED problem and we have no dompamine. The solution is to fix our head and work on our spirtuality. try to create activites that releases domapine (reward mechanism) other than MB. What saved me on my earlier 9 months quest, is that after 1 mont of AB, I started to work on my spirtuality and become so busy building it up to the point where I totally forget about sex, etc. Well not forget about sex, but it was not the only important thing in my life. I used to get many boners but not as frequent and I was ok with that since I have other more important things to care about. And I knew that I will have a bonder when I need it.

Bottom line, I need to work on my spirtualitly and try to forget about sex knowing that I am healthy and when I need a boner I will get it.

The problem is in our brain not in our deck!

My friends, lets stick together, it is still a long battle and we shouldn't lose it after putting all that much effort.

sorry for my typos and grammar mistakes, I hope you can go over them.

[nsx]

Some good comments there determined. You are right about looking at things online. It can be easy to get hot and bothered by stuff like that. I think, both you and I, have proven to ourselves that our equipment works. Let's keep the AB going. Let's improve our spirituality, and let's improve our careers!

[determined11]

Thanks nsx, yes I am working on that now.

so yesterday sex was all over my mind and I read Mario777 log that he could break his AB is he can not get it out of his mind. It seems I got distracted and I was not able to hold my AB. I humped the bed and released. I was so sad to the point that I decided not to come to this forum again since I was so embarassed to break my record and stuff.

then I WAKE UP.. it was a dream well a nightmare. The thing is that I didn't remember the point where I released, If I do that would have been a WD. I think it is close. Funny thing is that this is the second time I dream that I MB, not sure what signal my unconscious mind is sending to me but I am not listening and won't listen.

Based on my earlier experience when I also stoped edging, I am halfway for a WD, sorry if this disappoint some people, but I have to be honest with myself. Last time after 3-4 months I used to get those kind of dreams and then had a WD exactly 4-5 months later. I hope my body proves me wrong.

[determined11]

136 days no MB (Record is 311)
122 days no edging with my hands. (Record is 311)
105 days no touch no physical stimulation whatsoever!!! (Record is 311)


it was a nighmare indeeeeeed I am still holding strong. Man, I was soooo relieved when I wake up and realized it was a dream not a reality. so glad!!


almost 4 months no edging and 4.5 months AB! next milestone/update when I reach 5 months AB! I was planning for that earlier but I am just updating to proof to myself it was a dreaaaaaaaamm LOL