My Journal<50days CD>

[milimime]

13/1/2012

Just a quick reply just to mention that I am still on abstain. Last night I leaked when I was passing motion again but nothing else : / that's all~

Day:
AB
26

[milimime]

14/1/2012

Dayyyymmm!!! Last night, I had a dream of my rock hard dick. I the dream I actually exploded with ejaculation! I could feel the orgasm but when I woke up there was nothing.... : / I could only feel the extreme horniness in the morning... Anyway, Still abstaining... The push-up is still doing its work.... I do not watch porn videos.... Yea, thats all for now~~~

Day:
AB
27
(Omg day 27 already? my last record was 30! Hooray for me )

[milimime]

Congrats! Good job on AB from porn and jerking off. Hard to do when feeling horny, great job though!

Thanks! Keep up your good work too!

15/1/2012
Daaaaayyyymmmm! I don't know whether to be happy or to get pissed off... : / I had another erotic dream last night and remembered I burst into ejaculation in the dream but in stead, I woke up with an orgasm.... D: Anyways, maybe I was right.... 6 years of masturbation had made my body how to ejaculate without much physical stimulation..... Hmm.... I'll se what'll happen next...

Day:
AB
28

[milimime]

16/1/2012

Last night had a wierd dream but an exciting and nervous one cause I was on a chopper hunter by a fcking huge spaceship-like plane! Missiles and gattling guns everywhere! That made my adrenaline rose a lot. Bad night : / Btw, I'm gonna start my penis enlargement exercise early since I look quite stable and I found a soft ruler Thats all for now~

Day:
AB
29

[milimime]

21/1/2012

Had 2 sessions of my PE Exercises. Things had been quite stable for me as usual. Really glad to see this... No leaking noticed these days... I am finding supplements for more cum/precum, any brand/product can be introduced to me?

Day:
AB
34

[milimime]

Experienced some burning sensations around my urethra.... 2 times today.... hmm...

[milimime]

27/1/2012

Yeah finally its day 40 Quite stable on my abstaining now... Nothing much to urge, things under control. I am practicing some kegels, PC exercises and PE exercises. Things are looking good gonna reach day 50 in about 2 week... Wish me luck~~~

Leaked in the morning and afternoon when passing motion on 24/1/2012 and leaked in the morning when passing motion at 25/1/2012

Day:
AB
40

[milimime]

1/2/2012

Awesomeness! 5 more days to go to achieve my goal~~~~ X3 Anywayz yesterday leaked when passing motion. Dreamed about peeing last night but nothing happened...... == That's all for now~~~

Day:
AB
45

[milimime]

Just a small update about me leaking again when passing motion this morning... : /

[milimime]

3/2/2012

Another great day~~~ Just to record, started taking zinc supplement 2 days before (Today is the 3rd day) of 14.9mg daily 1 time dose. Leaked every morning when passing motion in these 3 days (Today is the third day). Gonna reach my goal in 3 more days : ) Wish me luck~~~ Btw, had an erotic dream when falling asleep in the car, a dream about pissing (Pissing in the dream) the night before last night, but woke up dry D: That's all for now~~~

Day:
AB
47

[milimime]

4/2/2012

2 more days and this journal will come to an end : ) No leaking or whatsoever...

Day:
AB
48

[milimime]

7/2/2012

And so my challenge has been achieved, i my way. I thank anyone who had helped me through this and the informations this website had provided me with. Some people did not watch porn and they achieved but I can tell then too that even if you watch porn you can achieve it too. During the peak moments I was really urging to masturbate and/when watch porn, I set a rule for my self that I can do whatever I want about my dick other than any external contact (Stroke, hump, etc). So instead of masturbate, I turned onto kegels, dry orgasms, prostate massage, etc trying to get my mind off the MB. After those peak moments, I had get used to the T-buzz and knew a thing or two to convert such energy into other forms, like physical and mental. Not MBing had let me see so much more about this world that I did not when I MBed. I thank this website and grateful for everything. For anyone who is reading this and is still struggling, the key to success is perservere and find your way to success, people varies in doing things. That's all, moving to the 100 days challenge.

[milimime]

Continued the journal to here. Anyone reading until here can follow me there

[milimime]

22/6/12

It was a few months since I last busted my nuts xD Even thou I got bac into MB after that, I did some studies about MB also. Recently I got pretty exhausted, feeling pretty tired these days and the first idea was to pay back my sleeping debts. Yet even thou after some nap daily for weeks, the situation didn't go better completely. I still has that "tireness". These days I went for abstain again, which, to my shockness, I felt better the next day, being able to think more rationally, more ideas pop up in my works and feeling more motivated to do stuffs. And so i did some body massage and prostate massage, I'm feeling so much better and more energetic. Conclusion, not fapping seriously bring abundance of advantage xD

Day:
AB
3

[milimime]

23/6/12

This morning I woke up with quite a high T-buzz, with my little fellow hard on. I then tried some kegel and relaxed. Just like from other articles I've read, there's the warm and pleasurable feeling flowing over my body, and then converged around my genital area. There're about 3 flows of such orgasmic gush, with the 3rd one most intense. After that, I found some precum stain on my pyjamas.

Afternoon, after I finished poop (And I mean, EVERYTHING), I got curious and did one heavy kegel. I contracted my PC pretty hard for a few times, and then, to my surprise, something leaked out of my penis, a white semisolid sperm stuff, just like before.

Day:
4

[milimime]

Yea.... busted my nut today hahar xD went a bit too far for myself, as usual, should never, ever, ever touch my little bro down there. As I had learned and experienced today, when I get myself relaxed, even under certain consciousness, the effect could be just the same as normal nights, where random hard-ons occurs throughout the night, or throughout the time for the current situation. It seems the 'manually' stimulated status could be close enough to the true wetdream itself as well. There could be a possibility that if I could master the trick to do more handsfree orgasm, or achieve a handsfree ejaculation, it may even help me to get wetdreams as well. Will be doin more studies. Oh, and special thanks for AGT as well ;3 His kind understanding helps me to know and understand more

[traveling guy]

doh!

Oh well.. good luck getting to day 2.

TG

[milimime]

24/6/12

As I had tried out during this afternoon's nap, it was quite an enjoyable 25 minutes of orgasmic relaxation time. Just like usual, I had my whole body relaxed, with my pants off (personally thinks that it gives my lil' bro more "freedom"), lied face up on my bed with the lights off. I did not fantasize much porn, or should I say, 'appropriate amount' whenever I feel like my hard-on is fading off. However, if I focus a bit towards my dick, the flow (just describing what I feel, like wave of gush flowing towards my genital area and towards my dick), it would probably erect back to its full state. This afternoon I did not focus on 'cumming' as much as I used to last time, which will exhaust my mind and brain, and can be quite demoralizing. Instead, I had myself relaxed and did not put too much hope onto cumming, just the feeling of 'I'll just let it happen itself'. There were about three times where I could actually feel like I was going to cum. Even thou I did not cum after everythin, the extra T-buzz boost and such pleasurable moment paid back quite handsomely. Oh, and I still continue to hold my principle of 'no touching'. However, I did used this wonderful moment where my dick is at about its 100% hard-on to do some Uli. Overall, that was quite fun and relaxing xD That's all for today. Oh, thx TG, I'll keep the principle STRONG and HARD, if ya know what I mean, harhar.

Day:
1

[milimime]

19/7/12

Finally, I found some reasons convincing enough for me to quit porn. From what I had studied and datas collected, watching porn itself is actually an addiction despite masturbation and sexual intercourse as results it brings upon. It is actually not much different from smoking tobacco and taking drugs as the effect of watching porn also changes the function the the brain itself, as well as tobacco and drugs. When watching porn, thousand of chemical reaction happens in our brain, as well as hormones were released, especially the hormone which makes us happy (pardon me for my horrible memory, search up the name in wiki if you want ), etc. From what I know, this is the exact same hormones released when a couple have sex, which binds their relationship even closer to each other, that gives each other a feeling of bond, secure. However, when watching porn, even thou such hormone is secreted, the viewer himself is not involved in the sex/scene, causing confusion and often depression towards the body. That explains why workout more or going out with friends more can help to abstain. I also learned that our brain and mind are two different things where one has the natural instincts to make us survive, carrying out actions and activities to do so, like breathing, eating, etc while our mind is our intelligence that controls our body and is more towards spiritual side. Addiction happens when our mind fail to control our brain and instead, let our brain to take over our body. For what I know, if this situation continues, the side of our brain which was meant for self-discipline will weaken, just like our muscles will weaken if we don't exercise. Therefore many people will get trapped in addiction and becomes harder and harder to put off the addiction.

I'm now very sure I must not touch porn for any little bit and avoid it as badly as I can. From my own observation, those datas were proven quite true everytime I had a bulk of time for porn. Therefore.... nope, no more porn. Time to move forward =)

[frankm]

I'm now very sure I must not touch porn for any little bit and avoid it as badly as I can. From my own observation, those datas were proven quite true everytime I had a bulk of time for porn. Therefore.... nope, no more porn. Time to move forward =)

That's a great decision. Good luck.

[maktub100]

19/7/12

Finally, I found some reasons convincing enough for me to quit porn. From what I had studied and datas collected, watching porn itself is actually an addiction despite masturbation and sexual intercourse as results it brings upon. It is actually not much different from smoking tobacco and taking drugs as the effect of watching porn also changes the function the the brain itself, as well as tobacco and drugs. When watching porn, thousand of chemical reaction happens in our brain, as well as hormones were released, especially the hormone which makes us happy (pardon me for my horrible memory, search up the name in wiki if you want ), etc. From what I know, this is the exact same hormones released when a couple have sex, which binds their relationship even closer to each other, that gives each other a feeling of bond, secure. However, when watching porn, even thou such hormone is secreted, the viewer himself is not involved in the sex/scene, causing confusion and often depression towards the body. That explains why workout more or going out with friends more can help to abstain. I also learned that our brain and mind are two different things where one has the natural instincts to make us survive, carrying out actions and activities to do so, like breathing, eating, etc while our mind is our intelligence that controls our body and is more towards spiritual side. Addiction happens when our mind fail to control our brain and instead, let our brain to take over our body. For what I know, if this situation continues, the side of our brain which was meant for self-discipline will weaken, just like our muscles will weaken if we don't exercise. Therefore many people will get trapped in addiction and becomes harder and harder to put off the addiction.

I'm now very sure I must not touch porn for any little bit and avoid it as badly as I can. From my own observation, those datas were proven quite true everytime I had a bulk of time for porn. Therefore.... nope, no more porn. Time to move forward =)

Hey milimime,

Great to know that you have decided to quit porn...I am in absolute agreement with everything you've mentioned in your previous post..Viewing pornography alters brain chemistry and as the addiction manifests itself deeper in you, the person needs more erotic material to sustain and feed the addiction. I'm glad you have realised that porn must be avoided as many of the youth today feel viewing porn is alright and it's 'normal' for guys. But what they don't realize is that each time they view porn, it further cements the addiction...

I, myself have been watching porn a lot in the past..and this is has been the major obstacle in me staying true to my 'abstaining path'..I have tried to stop porn completely before and doing this has forced me to relapse in a few days..

So what I'm doing now is I view 'softcore' porn only for a few minutes when the urge kicks in till I have a few erections and then shut it off...And guess what, today I had no urges at all..

Hopefully, a day comes when I don't need to indulge in any sort of erotic material and my imagination is 'enough' to satisfy me...

[milimime]

02/11/12
It seems like this journal is coming to its end. After all these time, I'd been self studying some psychology and stuffs. I then across Anthony Robbins' 2 books - Awaken the Giant Within and Unlimited Power, which taught me about NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and Value system. NLP is basicly about how to adjust our brain to change what events trigger of our emotions. For example, if a person has paranoa towards snakes, NLP simply adjust the linking of 'snakes' and 'fear', to 'snake' and 'x', where x will be any other emotions where the person/therapist himself desire, like courage, neutral, or even love. When I first learned about it, I simply link 'masturbation' to 'disgust' and picture dogs' dung whenever I get my hands on my dick. If I continue to fap, I simply continue to redefine the representation in my head about the linkage of 'masturbation' to 'dog dung', like its smell, color, texture, temperature, etc. Yes, I believe by now you can also feel pretty disgusted too =w= However, the first time I tried out NLP with my situation, it didnt solve it yet, but only prolonged the time taken for me until orgasm. But still, it took almost double the time for my normal 'fap time', believe me, the whole process is NOT PLEASURABLE, in other words, DISGUSTING. I felt so sick that I wanted to puke : \ But I dont just stop there. Whenever I felt like fapping, I'll repeat the whole process. Other than that, I'd used the value system. I, myself, wanted to be a professional artist and I know that porn and fapping had taken too much of my time. Therefore, I compared their values. Fap? Or practice drawing, enjoying the true pleasure of discovery, adventure, visual pleasure and engulf myself in the professional community so that I can secure my future and have social interation at the same time? Or I can also use some time to practice my piano, so I can perform for my friends and maybe in a bar or lounge some day? At the same time, I'm also applying the 'pain & pleasure' system, where people will most probably try to avoid pain than pleasure. Instead of just thinking of the positivity of not fapping, I also think of the negativity of fapping. Like, for example, I will not be wisely use my time, so as leading to not being able the use my potential throughly, that could lead to low performance in many areas of my life (Academic, Hobby, Health, Achievement, Growth, etc) The list can go on and on, but I most of the time I'll take a picture of me being humiliated and failing so painfully whenever I thought of fapping. Now I don't have to stop myself to fap. Why? Because whenever i do, my body automatically link it to disgust, sickening and discomfort. I couldn't even reach my 'mini orgasms' and most of the time my dick will go back to flaccid. The trick is to stay conscious even during fapping. And don't give up. Start with consciousness, and slowly proceed to picturing something that we wanted to link what we are doing to what we desire. It works best when the emotion is at its most intense(for now, orgasm), and immediately link it by picturing something we desire in our head(for me, dog poop). This process is called anchoring, where if done correctly, will link us to any emotion we desired when the behavior happens. For me, I linked masturbation to the emotion of disgust, causing myself to feel that sickening feeling whenever I wanted to or actually masturbated. I also linked practicing and studying art to the emotion of excitement and passion.

I'm sorry for messy writing :p By the way, for those who's still masturbating, do consider quiting. It really does free up your time, and do something else more meaningful and productive. Thank you WD forum. <3 Goodbye, journal~

-End of journal-