My quest for abstinence again!

[rdgann]

Hey everyone. It has been a couple of years since I have been to the WD forum. I used to have WDs after a long time of abstinence (30+ days). I haven't had such luck in quite some time. I get frustrated and need the accountability to keep my hands off of my cock. I am good for a few days, but each passing day my horniness increases to a point that my morning woods are rock solid and at a full salute. I love the t-buzz from abstinence as well as the increased energy. I also feel a twinge of guilt every time I masturbate. I love an orgasm, but I love the pent up sexual horniness as well. Once I flog my log, the urges subside and the cycle starts over.

Any encouragement is appreciated. I have a smartphone now so I can log my diary daily from the phone. Wish me luck

Day 1 - I gave into MB today (Sept 5 2009) @ 740am. It had been six days since my last MB. My goal is 30 days! Morning wood was really strong which led to MB. Everything now is pretty calm.

[rdgann]

Day 2- I awoke at 7am with a rather strong morning wood. It lasted for about an hour and did not want to subside. The urge to MB was strong. However I resisted, I already feel a bit of the tbuzz. If I get pass the mornings I am fine.

I am starting to realize just because I have a hard morning wood is not the same as being sexually aroused. The neural pathways are much different. A good morning wood is a sign of vitality and virility.

Morning woods happen unconciously. Where as MB or porn is conciously stimulating the penis with stimuli. Also I tend to precum mostly when I am sexually aroused, Not necessarily erect.

Does anyone agree or have similar observations?

[Random]

I agree, morning wood is definitely not related to sexual arousal. I get morning wood pretty much every single morning and it won't go down before I hit the toilet and urinate.

[rdgann]

Day 3 -

This morning wasn't too terribly bad. I was semi-erect this morning, but felt the pleasurable sensations of my penis rubbing against my pajamas. It definitely felt good, but it was manageable. I feel twitches and pleasurable sensations in the lower abdominal and perineum areas. The pressure is slowly building up again. I feel the t-buzz a growing. Laying around too long in the mornings will get me in trouble LOL. I have to make myself get out of bed and get productive or I for sure will give in.

Random - I totally agree. I love awaking feeling a rock hard boner. I would rather wake up and be hung and keep that sexual energy stored up inside and feel masculine, confident and sexy all day, than to give into my desire for an orgasm and get the MB letdown that follows. After a MB session, I usually feel a bit sleepy, sluggish, and definitely my aggression and desire to do something productive typically goes out the window.

I love the way I feel each following mornings with more sexual energy. After five or six days and onward, I feel my tanks are full and I am so full of sexual energy and aggression, that I feel like I could go fight or have sex with someone (although I would do neither, I would go for an intense workout instead!).

As a Christian, I truly believe our sexuality is a gift from God. Our desire for sex was given to us by our Creator for the confines of marriage and to bring deeper consummation in a marriage. Our sex drive is an awesome thing. However, because of sin, we have taken a great gift from God and used it selfishly in porn, masturbaton, premarital sex, and other acts of sexual deviancy. The sin isn't our sex drive! It is holy and good. It is our misuse of our sex drive in a way that dishonors God.

Though the Bible is silent on some issues of sexuality. It is very clear on others. I know God's ways are perfect, true, and bring the greatest blessings. However, I am human and I can quickly turn to sexual pleasure as a means of satisfying a fleeting sexual desire or as a way to medicate personal stresses in my life. Learning to enjoy my sexuality and pleasures without being ruled by it brings the greatest satisfaction.

I hope everyone else is having success. Good luck.

[Texanguy]

Welcome back!

I would rather wake up and be hung and keep that sexual energy stored up inside and feel masculine, confident and sexy all day, than to give into my desire for an orgasm and get the MB letdown that follows. After a MB session, I usually feel a bit sleepy, sluggish, and definitely my aggression and desire to do something productive typically goes out the window.

I love the way I feel each following mornings with more sexual energy. After five or six days and onward, I feel my tanks are full and I am so full of sexual energy and aggression, that I feel like I could go fight or have sex with someone (although I would do neither, I would go for an intense workout instead!).

It sounds like you've been missing the pleasurable effects of abstaining. And perhaps you may have been doing some reading of recent posts here on this topic. In the conversations in Tor's log, Squeeze came up with the idea of 'penile sexuality' vs 'whole being sexuality'. Check it out if you haven't already:
http://www.wetdreamforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=3460&start=30
Penile sexuality is focused on the penis and immediate orgasm. It is immature, in that it simply repeats an endless cycle of less than fulfilling MB and repeated letdowns. What you described in your post is more mature 'whole being' sexuality. Getting a good definition and description can help guide a person to reach a goal.

Whole being sexuality definitely exists. You've experienced it before. The capacity is built in and natural. It is a fuller, more mature and more complete experience and expression of sexuality, and is ultimately more 'sexual', than being stuck in the immature and endless MB-letdown cycle.

Learning to enjoy my sexuality and pleasures without being ruled by it brings the greatest satisfaction.

This natural, normal, and built in ability to enjoy your 'whole being' sexuality is attained by moving beyond immature penile sexuality.

Do you agree with this concept? If so, embrace it in your mind and your actions! And contribute your own ideas to the conversation.

Good luck!

[rdgann]

WOW!!! I saw Jamie's WD Video! Absolutely incredible! This alone is enough to make a guy never want to wank his tally whacker ever again! The power at which he shot his stuff, and the numerous contractions and the volume of semen ejaculated was mind blowing. I have NEVER EVER had an experience like that while masturbating. Jamie you are a pioneer and a hero to all men who want to know if a WD is really worth waiting for. I had given up hope on attaining them again, but I know they will return if I just get my hands off of the penis!

Thanks man for your courage, Any other videos would be awesome to compare, but that one video is a 5-star video! Way to go!!!!

Day 3 continued - Been great! Feel prostate pressure, but I know a WD is a while away.

Later all.

[Squeeze]

Laying around too long in the mornings will get me in trouble LOL. I have to make myself get out of bed and get productive or I for sure will give in.

True dat

After five or six days and onward, I feel my tanks are full and I am so full of sexual energy and aggression, that I feel like I could go fight or have sex with someone (although I would do neither, I would go for an intense workout instead!).

Yeah, not to be crude, but I call that the "fight or f*ck" stage--yeah, you nailed it. The description, that is, hahah. You kind of want to do either at that stage, and almost don't care which. Just watch some UFC instead of porn, haha. Yeah, we really need to watch ourselves at that stage, like how we treat other people who annoy us even a little bit--it's easy to get all 'roid rage like and be too aggressive towards them in our responses then. That aside, it's kinda cool to feel like you are Chuck Norris/Clint Eastwood/Jason Statham/Bruce Lee/Samuel Jackson (choose your favorite) for a day or so, haha. It's so weird, but for some reason, when I am in that state, when I am driving and I see a truck, I am like "yeah!"--I want a truck. I like trucks anyway, but for some reason they are even more appealing to me then, haha.

Learning to enjoy my sexuality and pleasures without being ruled by it brings the greatest satisfaction

Amen and amen, brother!

[rdgann]

Day 3 Update!

Well I have been horny all day long! I have felt the t-buzz cruising through my veins. On my way back home from Alabama to Nashville a 2.25 hour drive. I had a stomach ache, but it felt like a tingling feeling in my loins, like pressure that should be released. Anyways, as I was driving to Nashville I began to relax and I could feel that pressure begin to transfer from my lower abdomen into my penis. I had my first hard erection at 8:33pm and it lasted 8 minutes, I did not self stimulate, it got hard on its own. I did unzip my shorts so my penis could roam free while I was driving. LOL!

The next erection happened about 8:47 and it lasted a couple of minutes. While driving I felt preorgasmic waves of pleasurable sexual energy going throughout my body. It was as if I might just have an orgasm while driving . However the feelings subsided but the t-buzz remained. I actually began to precum while driving and I haven't produced precum randomly in well over a year! Then I had another erection approximately 30 minutes later. I haven't had this many spontaneous erections in a year or so! It felt GREAT!!! The erections that are created spontaneously and that you let sit and throb for a few minutes are the absolute best.

I now am home and full of t-buzz and horniness, I haven't had a wet dream yet, but who knows tonight might be my lucky night, though this is waaay too early for me to have one. But I feel as turned on and jacked up as if I was to have one. Oh me, oh my I forgot how awesome it was abstain!!! Whole body pleasurable sensations that are ongoing, and not fleeting like MB!

Wish me luck!

[Texanguy]

Oh me, oh my I forgot how awesome it was abstain!!! Whole body pleasurable sensations that are ongoing, and not fleeting like MB!

Welcome back to a better way than MB!

Since you've slipped up in the past, hopefully this time it will be easier to keep reinforcing in your mind that this 'whole body' sexuality and t-buzz thing is more natural, more pleasurable, more mature, and more complete expression of sexuality than is MB. It's not really a matter of resisting MB, it's a matter of moving beyond it to better ways.

It is simply impossible for MB to give what you are feeling now. MB takes away far more than it gives.

As I'm sure you recall, soon you will develop the capacity to feel the sexuality and t-buzz without having an erection every time. That is a sign that you are making progress into whole body sexuality and leaving the old penile sexuality and its endless letdowns behind.

Go for it and good luck!

[rdgann]

Day 4

Made it through the night. After getting home with so much t-buzz and horniness it was very difficult to get to sleep. I kept feeling a preorgasmic flow and I would have several mini erections before I finally went to bed. I would feel the pressure in the prostate region and lower abdomen. I awoke at 5am to get ready for work and I was semi-erect but still felt horny. I never got really hard this morning, but I got up earlier than usual. I ended up with precum on my fingers, so I am definitey am feeling the t-buzz.

WOW, glad to be back on the abstain train. I haven't worked out in over four days with a strained back. I must hit the weights or do cardio or I am going to have too much t-buzz and go freaking crazy!

Later all,

Daniel G

[rdgann]

Day 4 7: 50 PM

I had the opportunity to have a freed up afternoon. I went grocery shopping, got an oil change and came home to try to take a nap. But as I was laying in bed, the horniness kicks in and I begin to go from a limp penis to a hard erection over the course of several minutes. The erection occurs slowly, but then gets harder and harder. It is preorgasmic bliss! Needless to say I had to get out of bed and go hit the gym. I had an intense weight training workout followed by sprints. Then I cooked a good healthy supper, and now I am on the forum about to get ready for bed.

I hope to get a good 7 to 8 hours of sleep.

By the way, does anyone use Coconut oil to cook with or eat. I have heard about numerous health benefits it has. I used it, but did not know if anyone else has noticed if it affects libido.

Later all

Daniel

[rdgann]

Day 5: 4:48am

I tried to go to bed early last night around 9pm, but because of a t-buzz and out of control horniness, I could not get to sleep until 1030pm or 11pm. I finally dozed off to bed around 11pm. I awoke at 3:30am with a nice boner and felt really energized. I tried to make myself go back to sleep, but the t-buzz was strong. Finally my erection subsided and I produced a few drops of precum. My erection was hard but it only contracted a couiple times last night. I am trying to observe how many times I get contractions each day. Today contractions were far apart and not too terribly strong. It seems the longer I abstain the more rapid and stronger the contractions get. I will make further observations. I am now wide awake at 5am with no caffeinne. Just t-buzzing! Well off to teach boot camp.

Have a great day.

[Squeeze]

You're timing your contractions? Are you expecting a baby? haha

Explain what you mean by contractions in this case

[rdgann]

Day 5: 10:12pm

No, I am not having a baby LOL. I just remember after analyzing Jamie's video the orgasmic contractions that occured when he had his wet dream. As I abstain, I tend to get more of those contractions several mornings before I actually have a wet dream. Those are a sign to me a WD isn't too far away. When I can get a hands free boner that twitches. That is when I know that a WD is near.

So far today, has been a pretty good day. Mild horniness, but feel good and had a 4 hour nap from 1:30pm to 5:30pm. Around 2pm I awoke with a hard erection, but it subsided. When I awoke at 5:30pm, there was nothing going on. I went to the gym and had a fantastic workout. Still several days away from a WD I think. But I feel good!

Squeeze! Hang in there! Don't let me win LOL!

[Texanguy]

You seem to be more eager to enjoy 'whole body' sexuality and WD's, and more ready to quit MB with its negative effects than before. Maybe it's time to seriously leave MB behind and see MB and its effects as 'just not hacking it anymore'. I think it's not about resisting MB as much as moving beyond it.

Good luck!

[rdgann]

Yes Texanguy, I am enjoying whole body sexuality a whole lot more than penile sexuality. I enjoy the constant t-buzz. After a couple of years of falling into MB and sexual exploration, I realized that after every experience I felt depressed, guilty and not happy with myself. My stretches are normally 5-10 days between MB, where they used to be every day. Much improved, but I am ready to lay down the habit for good.

Day 6- I had a semi-sexual dream last night. I awoke around 4am with a strong erection and it was twitching and mild contractions. It took a while for the erection to subside, but it finally did, and I dozed off back to sleep around 430am. I awoke around 6am from a semi-sexual dream. In the dream, I was in a locker room with a sauna and steam room. I was completely naked and walked into one steam room where everyone was clothed. I felt awkward and left that room, and went into another steam room with naked people. I don't remember anything else about the dream. When I awoke, I wasn't hard but I did noticed when I squeezed the tip of my penis a drop of precum came out. I don't know when this occured or anything.

Today I feel a mild t-buzz and the horniness is strong but managable. I have been doing real intense workouts that supposed boost testosterone levels as well as I am modifying my diet to get optimum testosterone production. We will see if this enhances WDs. If it doesn't I will be one ripped, lean, chiseled masculine man LOL!

I appreciate everyones encouraging comments. Stay strong, the battle is long!

[Squeeze]

Hey, rd--what are your t-boosting diet modifications? And I think I know what you mean abt the involuntary PC muscle contractions. I had some last week before I went to sleep, but not recently. Yeah, it's like your PC muscles contract, making your dick twitch with it, almost like you were cumming but not quite as strong, and it does so a few times randomly by itself. Is that what you experienced?

[rdgann]

Yes, exactly. The penis has mild contractions but no cum.

My dietary modifications are as follows>

I eat 6 Brazil Nuts a day - Brazil nuts are a very rich source of selenium which is in high abundance in a man's semen. It supposedly increases sex drive. Also the monounsatured fats aid in testosterone as well.

I also take Pure Virgin Coconut Oil as a supplement to cook with.

I take a Zinc & Magesium Supplement.

I also have Fish oil, and a really good Multivitamin being shipped.

Thats about it, the rest of my diet is pretty clean. I cut out caffeine since it is a vasoconstrictor.

[Squeeze]

Awesome--is the Zinc and Mag supplement a type of ZMA? And what type of fish oil do you take? Someone here was making a deal abt the diff between "fish oil" as opposed to "cod liver oil"; do you have any opinion on that? Bec I have taken Cod Liver Oil in the past and was thinking abt adding it to my diet again. (I have used both Carlson and Garden of Life brands before--both really good). But like I know Carlson makes both types of oils.

[rdgann]

Yea!!! Day 7 5:00 am. One Week

Last night was really intense. I went to bed earlier than usual. About 9pm because I had a 5k race to host and had to rise n shine at 4am! Anyways, I awoke 3 to 4 times throughout the night with a strong erection. Between 230am and 4am I had an erotic dream. In the dream, I am at a department store. In the mens changing area there is a woman giving men total body nude massages. I noticed that all the men around me had hard plump erect penises. I never did anything with anyone in the dream. When I awoke I was still erect. No WD but just the journey to one is awesome.

I believe cutting caffeine out of my diet has given me better quality sleep.

[Squeeze]

Explain your math to me--you said it was 1 week now, but according to your earlier posts, the last time you MB'd was on Sept. 5, so you are actually on day 6... don't get ahead of yourself, that's cheating!

[rdgann]

LOL, if u count Sept 5th as my official start day which was a Friday, last Friday was when I gave in but it has been over 168 hrs! So there LOL!

[rdgann]

Day 8 - 9:48am

Whew! Yesterday was manageable, but last night was a very difficult battle. I was semi-horny throughout the day. But I had worked a 16 hour day and I was incredibly exhausted. I have cut caffeine out of my diet, which I think is giving me much deeper sleep patterns. Anyways last night I dozed off about 11pm. I awoke 2 or 3 times during the night with an erection. It seemed like every time I awoke the erection just got harder and harder and started eventually throbbing. Around 4am, I was incredibly going nuts at how horny I was. I was precumming, my cock was pointing due north. I felt preorgasmic flow throughout my whole body and the temptation to get off was difficult, but I resisted. The last erection probably took 45 minutes to finally subside.

The irony is that I awoke 2 or 3 more times after 4am around 6am 8am and finally awoke at 9am. After 4am, the erections diminshed in intensity after I awoke. The 6am erection was weak, the 8 am and 9am erection were non-existent. I finally got up around 9am.

I would think more sleep would lead to more REM sleep, but I don't think that is the case. Because from my observations my best and hardest erections that wake me up are between 3-6am. Even if I sleep later than that, the erections are weaker if non-existent. Has anyone else made this observation.

WOW! AMAZING IS ALL I CAN SAY! I still feel a really strong t-buzz today! I feel sexual energy in my lower abdomen. This is great!

[rdgann]

Day 8 @ 11:55PM

Besides this morning I have been doing well. I went to a football game this evening with some friends. The football game was great but as we were ending the 4th quarter, I really felt a tingly feeling in my groin, perineum area, as well as an urge to ejaculate. I did not MB of course, and I did not think I was going to SE, but I had this subconscious urge to want to ejaculate. I was with this girl I have a mild crush on, and we spoke and had great conversation most of the evening. I felt a stronger than usual attraction to her. We are currently friends and have been for a few years. We go swing dancing rather often.

After seeing Unionac's video it was definitely an amazing work of footage. He had some of the pearl whitest semen I think I have ever seen. And WOW, that 19 year old may have me beat on the amount I can shoot in a WD. The number and length of the ejaculations were very impressive. His contractions are very similar to mine I have when I awake in the early AM from a strong morning woods that jumps around.

Unionac & Jamie what was your motivation for abstaining? Kudos to both of you.

Over and Out

[Squeeze]

So your morning wood will jump around like that on its own sometimes, without you trying to make it contract? That's funny but cool! I may get a few of those once in a while, but not tons like that.

What type of swing dancing do you do? East Coast or Lindy or Balboa, or what? I'm learning Lindy Hop right now and I love it!

[rdgann]

Day 9 @ 8:00am

Last night was a carbon copy of the night before. I didn't get in bed til a little after midnight. I awoke at 2am with a mild erection, at 4am with a good erection, and by 6-7am I had a jumpy, thick hard erection. I had the same type of contractions Unionac was having in his dreams. I felt my body getting warmer and warmer. I awoke around 7am feeling all warm all over and felt the preorgasmic feelings flowing throughout my body. I just laid there and enjoyed it for a good 15-20 minutes. By the end of the 15-20 minutes my erection slowly began to fade and I had a few drops of precum on my boxers. The irony is that I rarely get an erection during the day but at night it is a completely different story. Does anyone else experience the same situations of little of few erections during the day, but incredibly hard and powerful erections at night?

This makes me feel more masculine than ever! I love waking up feeling this incredible sexual surge of horniness and manliness. I like knowing that though I feel like a wild buck in rutting season, that MB just isn't going to satisfy me anymore. I like feeling sexually charged and harness that horniness and masculine aggression all day.

I liken MB to castration to a Wild Stallion. If you castrate a wild stallion, you get a milder calmer more obedient horse. However the horse loses his drive to be a championship horse! Sure the horse will live and not die because he lost his man-bits. But he will never be truly the Stallion he was designed to be.

A Stallion that is buck wild can be dangerous and aggressive, but can give you the ride of your life! The goal in life is not to Castrate the Stallion, but to learn to harness the Stallion's energy in a productive way that makes the horse obedient but not tame. The Stallion still needs to have a wildness about him that makes him 100% Stallion, but the Stallion needs to be taught discipline to control his wildness in positive ways!

When we MB we are essentially castrating ourselves. We are giving away our primal sexual energy, and as a result we feel a lack of masculinity, a loss of t-buzz, a lack of self-control, a sense of emptiness, and a sense of weakness. We feel as if we are not in control of our own bodies. We won't die from masturbation, but we sure won't know what it means to live with fire in the loins LOL! Just like the Wild Stallion, our goal is NOT to remove our wild sexual energy from our body, but learn to harness it and manage it in such a way that it brings a sense of wholeness and complete masculinity. When we learn to give up MB as an inadequate way to satisfy our sexual urges. We realize that by saying NO to a fleeting desire to MB, we begin to realize the power we have within ourselves (and I personally believe God's Spirit helps me as well) to be able to live a life of true masculinity and self-control. Also we gain more sexual pleasure as an abstainer, than we ever will as a chronic MBer or wild promicuous sexual person.

To tell you the truth, the virgins of this world (who have never MBed) probably have the best sex lives ever and don't even know it LOL! Life is so full of paradoxes!

In the Bible - The humble are exalted.
The exalted are humbled.
The materially rich are typically spiritually poor.
The greatest leader must first be a servant.
Those who want to be first, must learn to be last.
Those who live for themselves, will die.
Those who die to themselves for the kingdom of God, will live.
To die to the sinful self is to come to Jesus to live an ABUNDANT LIFE!

Just my two cents. Truly God's wisdom makes us scratch our heads sometimes and then one day it clicks and we get it!
Good luck to everyone! Happy abstaining! Keep the eyes off porn, keep the hands off the penis, and find productive ways to use your masculine energy in healthy ways! GO GO GO!!!


P.S. - Squeeze I typically do East Coast Swing I think. I will ask my friend to make sure, but it is great exercise and great fun! Stay strong my brother!

[rdgann]

Day 9 - 9pm

Whew I had a close call earlier today. But I have resisted thus far. This is getting to be a real difficult challenge. My body is craving an orgasm! I want a good quality WD.

Goodnight

[martingon]

Wow! you started a day later than I originally started, I screwed up though and you are ahead. All I can say is good work! I'll be watching you...

[rdgann]

Day 10 -7:35pm

Today has been a roller coaster ride of the day. I awoke at 445am with a minimal erection. The T-buzz had seemed to fade away. I went to teach my bootcamp class and then to the other YMCA I work at. While there, I began having a strong desire for lustful pleasure. The trigger was I saw a news ad for an all nude strip bar that is now coming to my state, the 1st one in the state. The desire was getting overwhelming. I was like a dog in heat for a little while. I never got an erection, but just had a desire to really want to be connected to someone. I wanted my warm body to be pressed into another warm body. Old memories of fun sexual experiences came racing back to my mind and were bugging me. After an hour or two the desire began to fade.

I am learning that maybe abstaining from sex and MB is revealing to me what I really am longing for. I have attraction towards both sexes, but as a Christian believe that sex is only between a man and a woman in the confines of marriage and everything else is wrong. I have had a few experiences with guys and many more with women. Though I haven't been with a woman sexually in over 5 years. Over the years I have had numerous sexual dreams involving men and women.

I believe my desire for a random erotic same sex encounter is showing me that I have a deficit for same sex affection, not sexual but a need for healthy brotherly or fatherly love. I am alone a lot and sometimes feel disconnected from other guys. I am a lean muscular guy who loves to lift weights, wakeboard, hike, and camp. I can't bear the thought of living as a man who practices homosexuality. However, my desire for the very thing forbidden at times can be an overwhelming!

Anyways I am just posting my thoughts, take it for what it's worth.

Hopefully I can make it through another night. So far everything seems manageable at the moment.

[Texanguy]

It is interesting that abstaining can make it possible to be quite aroused and not have an erection. This is yet another natural and built in aspect of sexuality that MB inhibits.