Wet Dream Forum

(I wrote this earlier today but had problems posting it for some reason)

8 days in! Man, I almost gave in yesterday afternoon. My roommate was out and I watched 95%'s video, which was fine, but then I watched some other videos online which led to some full out porn which led me to start playing with myself. I edged a bit but never blew my gasket. I was pretty horny yesterday, but fortunately I decided to stop bec My desire to not do it and to not fill my mind with those things and to not break my abstinence streak grew greater than my desire for temporary sexual pleasure. After I stopped, I went out to dinner w/some friends and then I was fine for the rest of the night.

This past week hadn't been too tough prior to that; I wasn't horny in the normal sense that often (except for yesterday), but I would feel really antsy most days. As if I had too much caffiene or something. Like that feeling you get when you just want to get something done but things beyond your control are taking too long. Impatient basically, but in a physical way. I'm aware of my nuts pretty often bec they feel kinda "full." Usually not a bad thing, though.

I'm starting to get used again to feeling a certain baseline of horniness under everything else I am feeling. Learning to cope with and enjoy it. Am also starting to get to the stage where i am kind of becoming more aware of the rest of my body and enjoying the simple pleasures it provides. Like right now, I am on my bed, lying on my stomach. I am wearing shorts and my legs are crossed so that one ankle is on top o the other. I have this pleasant awareness of my calves resting against each other and the pressure of the top one against the bottom one feels nice. If I move my calves around a bit so that they rub against ea other a bit, I can feel my leg hairs rub against my legs and they kind of tingle a bit and it feels nice. Psychologically, I feel masculine and embodied bec what I am feeling are my muscles and my body hair, two masculine traits. I feel calm and at peace. I worked out for a bit yesterday amd lying like this my butt is clenched a bit and I am aware of that, too. My nuts feel kinda tingly and I have a semi boner, but no desire to take it any further genitally. My chest muscles feel a little worked out and the corner of my pillow is poking into my chest a bit and through my t shirt I can feel it manipulate my chest hair a bit (short as it is right now, ha) and I just feel good and positive and alive all over, even though I am kinda tired.

I share all of that bec when I am MBing regularly, I usually don't have such subtle awareness and enjoyment of my body, just lying there like that. I don't usually fell as content or confident or grateful abt myself or my body. I write this to reming myself of how things are better this way and to inspire myself to wonder how other things in my life might change if this becomes my new "norm."

_________________
Current Day of Abstaining:3? (Upd8 3/29/2014)

Day 12!

Well, I'm abt to go to bed and so I will wake up to day 13 tomorrow! Feeling good, not too horny but lots of semi boners today and I also noticed I precummedwuite a bit. Took a shower this afternoon after trimming my hair and had a really strong boner afterwards. I mention that bec for a while now I have tended to lose them quite easily if I wasn't continually stroking them or looking at porn. It's just a sign that my body is slowly restoring itself to a healthy sexual function.

Roommate update: I mentioned the other day how we talked a bit abt me abstaining. Well, I brought it up again tonight bec I told him I am only two days away from hitting the two week mark of not fapping. He congratulated me and told me he has abstained for abt a month now! I was surprised and proud of him. I told him I was suprised bec, well, he tends to take REALLY long showers, ha. He laughed and said no, he just likes long showers to relax, haha. I said that's great that he's abstaining and that I'm glad to have someone who's got my back in this who I can talk to. I told him that was inspiring bec. If he can last that long at his age, I have no excuse. Amd he has a girlfriend, too, so you know he's got to fight those blue balls occasionally, haha. (They aren't sexually active.) He said his balls hurt a bit and that he hopes he gets a WD soon, haha, so it's cool that that topic has been broached, too, so we can cheer ea other on with that! So blessed to have a buddy now with those same goals and understanding! We've become good friends and I feel like I can talk to him abt almost anything. He's also one of the funniest guys I know. So awesome to have such a good roommate!!

_________________
Current Day of Abstaining:3? (Upd8 3/29/2014)

You're so lucky! Glad to hear the good news. Stay strong!

_________________
Sorry if I made grammar or expression mistakes.
My Log: http://www.wetdreamforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=4792
My Guitar Works Topic: http://www.wetdreamforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=5325

Good to hear you have a partner in crime

Keep up the amazing work

Thanks for the encouragement, guys!

Ok, day 16 has begun. Kind of getting used to that baseline horny feeling and less and less I feel the need to act on it. Provoke it, really. I think that some of the reason why I was MBing before is because i wasn't feeling that. I didn't feel as virile and so I had to provoke those feelings through MB so I could feel like a complete man again. But when I'm abstaining, I have tht pretty regular awareness that my sexual side is alive and functioning well, and I get a pretty regular dose of that mild pleasurable feeling that my nuts can provide me with, ha. I am still getting semis a lot, which can be a little annoying since I live with a bunch of guys and sometimes we roughouse and smack ea other's butts and stuff like that, ha, and the physicality of those kinds of things can grt mr. Willy a little more excited that I'd like him to be. Not full out erections, but like I said, almost anything can give me a semi these days and I don't want the guys to get the wrong impression abt me! Ha

But I do like the increased energy amd mild t-buzz I am feeling more of these days. I wouldn't trade that for anything. This is supposed to be normal for a guy! I like it.

I did look at some porn two days ago. My roommate was out on a date and i was bored and it was night. The good thing is I barely touched myself and the other good thing is the few clips I watched were awesome. Awesome in the sense that they were like what sex should actually be like. They were produced by some lady with the last name Cook. I can't remember the first name. They were tagged as porn for women on the site but all that means is that the couple actually seems like they love each other! They make love not just some dude having his way with some dumb slut. I was like, yeah, that's what I thought sex was supposed to be like. Both partners totally in to it, romantic and fun and still totally hot, haha. They weren't cheesy romance novel like, just like a real couple doin it by the fireplace or on their bed. Anyway, I'm not trying to promote porn, but if you are going to watch it, stuff like that is Umuch better for your mind and will probably give you more insight into how to actually make love to a woman. Xart is another production house to look for. They have the same vibe. And i think these girls are so much more attractive than the ones you normally see. And the guys are good looking and fit, but more normal and with normal size dicks. Like I said, more like real life, but they are also shot in a way that has more visual appeal, not tacky. Anyway... Again, not promotIng porn, but just glad that there is some put there that is less smutty than most of the stuff I filled my mind on for so many years. It also reassured me that real sex can be an awesome, mutually satisfying experience. But i also didn't j/o to it which was also new for me. Usially, as soon a the action starts, my hand goes to town. Thos was more infprmational for me i guess, so I was more interested in wathing it, though if I wasn't intentionally abstaining, i probably would have still j/o'd. So, I'm not planning on looking at more porn, I just wanted to share that experience.

_________________
Current Day of Abstaining:3? (Upd8 3/29/2014)

Just wanna say I think it's neat that you have a buddy you can physically talk to about these things. And keep up the AB.

_________________
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

Day 18. Last couple of days have been good. This morning, we unexpectedly had the day off and my roommate left to go out of town for a few days, and I was bored and wanted to look at some porn. I gave in and watched a few clips amd j/o some and came to the "edge" a few times, but never came. I was pretty much over it after a while bec I was determined not to go all the way w/myself and also the porn clips just seemed kinda dumb after a while. I was watching mostly couples-oriented porn, and some of it was pretty good, but even then, just watching people hump ea other gets kinda boring after a while, haha. Couple's porn usually shows more regular, real life type sex, with more kissing and chemistry between the couple and isn't as extreme fantasy kind of stuff. My "excuse" to watch it was to see more of what sex should actually be like, to watch a couple make love and not just get all freaky and do things that just please the man or look good on camera. In my opinion, even normal, missionary position sex is probably the hottest, especially when you can tell that the couple is actually turned on by ea other. That is what makes it hot; most porn is so mechanical and technical and over the top. But anyway, even though this type of porn is "better" in that it is more realistic, relational, instructional, and moral, the reality is I'm still fantasizing over other people fornicating and/or committing adultery in my heart. Not OK. On a purely human level, I was glad that I was starting to kimd of get bored with it, also realizing that hey, none of these guys have anything I don't or are doing anything fancy that I myself wouldn't be able to do well, and so my insecurity trigger that sometimes gets me to look at porn is becoming less of an issue, which is huge for me.

I was abt to stop anyway, but then a friend of mine came into my room rather unexpectedly and man, good thing I heard him a few seconds before he came in, otherwise that would have been pretty embarrasing for the two of us, haha. I wonder if he suspected anything or not, haha. I know I would have in his position. We probably would have laughed it off, bit it would still have been embarrasing!

Yesterday i had a cool experience where I was outside, chillin in the forest, and was thinking abt a comment my roommate made earlier that day. We had gone shopping a couple days before and both bought some jeans. My roomie made a joke abt how he had worn his new pair the day before and they were a bit tight in the crotch until he got his "regular boners" and that stretched them out to where they are comfortable now, haha. Anyway, I was sitting alone at a nice spot and remembered his comment and thought to myself, yeah, at his age he probably does get regular random boners, i certainly did. I thought, man, he's lucky, I wish I still got those random ones sometimes (as I've shared before, I am getting a lot of semis these days, but usually not full out ones), and then, BAM!, without touching myself at all or thinking lustful thoughts, I started to grow a full out woody! It was awesome, and felt pretty good and tingly as it grew, haha. Most of the younger guys here are probably thinking, big deal, I get those all the time--too many, in fact! But for an older guy like me it was a
sign of my virility coming back. i was glad to be abstaining, and glad to feel like my old self again. It felt empowering.

I'll just have to be extra vigilant these next few days while my roomie is away since I will be sleeping alone in the room, have the bathroom all to myself, etc. Limiting my internet usage will be a good start. But my conviction remains strong and i am feeling pretty positive, confident, and fit otherwise!

_________________
Current Day of Abstaining:3? (Upd8 3/29/2014)

Hey, guys--just checking in. Since my last post here, I lasted a few more days and then gave into MB, so I had a 22 day streak. That led me to that "screw it" mentality where I ended up MBing a few more times over the course of the weekend and viewed a little porn. Then I was abstinent for 10 days, then gave in once (yesterday afternoon), though no porn ise or anything. My thoughts were pretty clean when I MB'd, too, more just focused on the feeling.

So, today is one day completed of AB since then. I don't feel like a continued relapse is likely, so I don't think I reset the clock completely towards a WD. When I came, it was just an avg amount, not tons and tons, even though it had been 10 days. I feel a little horny today, but not too bad and am in the mindset to continue to abstain.

At least I'm getting used to AB for longer periods of time, seeing that I can do it w/out much difficulty, which is encouraging. It helps me to think abt it less. MB just isn't holding as much attraction for me anymore. When I have done it the past couple of months, it's usually just like "meh", and I realize I like how I feel in general better when I am ABing than the quick payoff followed by that drained feeling and lack of t-buzz for a few days when I do MB. I am glad that I only MB'd once yesterday, bec it didn't sap my energy or attitude that much. Had I given in again a time or two simce then, I know I would feel sapped. Not worth it.

_________________
Current Day of Abstaining:3? (Upd8 3/29/2014)

Hey Squeeze,

I recommend this video to you and anybody else that feels like they are hooked on porn/masturbation. It's a TED talk about the effects of porn on your mind and body. It's a little long (16 minutes), but I found it very information and helpful and I don't even have much of a struggle with porn (praise the Lord for that). Anyway, watch it if you want. If not, that's okay too

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... SF82AwSDiU

blue

Haven't updated this in a while! Am currently on day 3 of abstaining from MB. Fell into a mb/porn pit the other week. Must have jacked it like 4xs in one night, and 3xs the day before. I didn't even know I was still capable of that! Not a good choice on my part, but still kind of impressive in a way, haha

Anyway, I'm back on the abstain train. Haven't really felt horny at all these past few days (to be expected I guess), and just had a twinge of horniness a few minutes ago and already had a passing tempting thought to mb when I get home. So crazy!! What a whimp I can be! If it was a tinge of hunger, it would be less tempting to eat a snack. But the moment I feel even just a bit horny, my mind can already go there. I guess that just lets you know how addicted you are! How I have trained myself to give in so easily. It's a bit of a wake-up call, I hope. I want to have better self control than that. So, I thought I should write a log entry here to help make my abstaining intent official. My current (perhaps lofty) goal is to go two months w/out porn or mb. If I get a WD during that time, awesome, but that's not my goal, I'm abstaining either way, so help me God. If successful, it will be sort of a Christmas present to myself.

One experiment I am enacting is to take a prostate supplement to hopefully prevent me from getting an inflamed prostate during this long time of abstinence, since I imagine it will get a bit congested. That is one of the few real negative side effects you can go through during a long abstinence. I started taking it a few days ago, and so far, no problems; I think I can tell some bec I don't pee as well when it gets congested back there. It's a GNC product and has saw palmetto, pygeum extract, beta-systerol, etc. all good stuff to keep your prostate and urinary tract in top order. Will let you know how it goes as time goes on!

_________________
Current Day of Abstaining:3? (Upd8 3/29/2014)

Two months? That's a great goal and I'm confident that you can knock that out of the park, big guy!

Well, didn't quite make it through my two months goal, Was doing good then fell into a MB pit with some porn in which I MB'd prolly 4 or 5 times in the course of a few days. I just realized I'm a "binge masterbator" (a new term?!?! Haha) but yeah, like a binge drinker I will abstain for a while, no problem, and then fall by masturbating several times in a row. Then I will be good for a while, then give in and look at a bunch of porn for a short period. This has been my pattern of late. So it's good that I at least recognize that now as a first step.

I made a new friend recently who is going to help keep me accountable with this and a few other areas. His advice with MB was to taper it off, like go 2 days, then 4, then a week, like that. That worked for him. He still mBs, but only once every couple of weeks or so and that's fine with him. But bec of my binge-like behavior with this, I'm thinking cold turkey is best for now, but if that doesn't work, then I'll try his method. My initial goal now then is two weeks with no porn or mb, and I'm already on day 3. Good thing is this is one friend who will definitely keep me accountable to the goals I set!

Have a great Thanksgiving holiday to my American friends! I am thankful for all of you and for this forum where we can be so honest abt these things and help ea other out.

_________________
Current Day of Abstaining:3? (Upd8 3/29/2014)

You can do it, Squeeze! I've got every confidence in you!

I wish you all the best on reaching your goal, bro! You can do it!

_________________
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

Ok, scratch the two week plan, I took my friend's advice and decided to try the taper off method. So, I MB'd once last night in bed, so i had gone 3 days w/out MB when i did it. No porn, but my thoughts weren't as clean as they should have been. I will work on that next time. Bit I just mB'd once, no binge, and I told myself I can MB once, no porn, again in 3 days, which will be Wednesday night. Then, I get to do it again, same rules, 5 days later, then a week after that, then 10 days after that, then two weeks after that. Just stretching it out a little further each time, so my mind and body can adjust more naturally. Not sure at that point if I want to try to go to three weeks or jump ahead to a month, but I'll figure that out when it gets closer.

We'll try this method and see if it works. Part of me thinks that if I have a scheduled time coming up, that may make it easier to not try and justify it before then one way or another. And also be strict w/not MBing multuple times. I only get one rub out, haha.

After I did it last night, I still got major wood throughout the night an this morning. Like almost painful. So I'm glad I intentionally limited it to once bec otherwise I know I would have indulged again. But because i didn't, I feel really good today: energized, kinda t-buzzed a little bit. This may be a good system! For me, it's about gaining a healthy sense of self control and cutting out the porn before it's about getting a WD. But hopefully I'll get to that as a more long term reward.
Thankful to be healthy and to getting healthier in this area of my life.

_________________
Current Day of Abstaining:3? (Upd8 3/29/2014)

Will be following ya. I wanna see if it works or not(hopefully it'll work).

Best wishes!

_________________
Sorry if I made grammar or expression mistakes.
My Log: http://www.wetdreamforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=4792
My Guitar Works Topic: http://www.wetdreamforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=5325

Thanks, Overload! And thanks Eleazar and Kipman!

_________________
Current Day of Abstaining:3? (Upd8 3/29/2014)

Ok, well, the night of my last post, like I said I was still really horny, I ended up giving in to MB after one thing led to another online. That was bad enough, but I then fell into my binge behavior again and MB'd two more times the next morning. Each time it was kind of instigated by porn. So, later that day I got up the courage to text my new accountability partner bec I decided that for accountability to work, I have to be 100% honest 100% of the time, otherwise I am wasting both my time and his. He said he was both proud of me for fessing up and disappointed for giving in so soon. He wondered if part of me was trying to test him a bit to see if he was actually going to follow through with keeping me accountable. I'm not sure, but part of me thinks that might be true, because a lot of guys will say they will be your accountability partner but then fall through. But it was definitely me not taking MY commitment seriously enough, and that is a real issue, and one that has hurt me a lot in the past. I can compartmentalize things really easily. So, anyway, even though he was going out of town soon, he said we should get together asap and so we did and we talked it out and stuff, and I set some new goals and signed a paper with my new commitments and he has a copy and is going to hold me to them.

What we decided would be a good rhythm for me right now is I get to MB once every 5 days, no porn. Once I get used to that, we will spread it out a little further. I decided later that since I am trying to start a new pattern, I need to do it in a new place, since I don't want to associate it with my old patterns. I usually do it in bed bef I sleep, but unlike a lot of guys, I almost never do it in the shower, even though that is a perfect, private, easy clean up, I have to be in there anyway kind of place, haha. So, I will be MBing in the shower only when I reach my 5 day release time, ha. Sorry for the TMI. But hey, you guys can help hold me to these new rules, too. my first time with this new plan will be on Monday. So far, so good. I've been pretty darn hands free and no porn. Another good thing abt the shower is I def can't look at porn there, ha! And I have roommates so I can't spend all day in there doing it, either. It's gonna be just a quick rub to clean out the pipes a bit and relieve some tension as I wean myself off of this habit. Not some drawn out lust and fantasy fest. Haha.

_________________
Current Day of Abstaining:3? (Upd8 3/29/2014)

I wish you the best of luck and the greatest success, Squeeze.

_________________
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

Thanks, Eleazar!

Well, I am feeling a bit horny but at that nice, manageable level, not the raging level yet at all. So, I decided to go a full week before I mb, which will be tomorrow. And then I will get 1 mb ea week for prolly a month and then reevaluate. Same plan with the shower and all, I'll prolly do it before I go to sleep.

Feelin' good. Have done a pretty good job at staying hands off and porn free all week, which definitely helps! Will try to keep that up the next few weeks.

_________________
Current Day of Abstaining:3? (Upd8 3/29/2014)

Good luck bro! You got my support!

_________________
Sorry if I made grammar or expression mistakes.
My Log: http://www.wetdreamforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=4792
My Guitar Works Topic: http://www.wetdreamforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=5325

Thanks, Overload!

Well, Unlike last night, I had zero interest in masturbating today, so I decided to wait for a few more days, friday, before I do it. That would give me ten days. So, we'll see how I feel then, and hands off until then!

_________________
Current Day of Abstaining:3? (Upd8 3/29/2014)

Day 9. Doing good, not feeling too horny but having good morning woods and I get semis more easily. Prostate are feeling a bit congested, just a bit. Tomorrow is the day I can do it again. Will wait 'till tomorrow to decide, but am not sure if I'm going to MB tomorrow or not. If I decide not to, I may push my next "ok to MB day" ahead either two more days, to day 12, or four more, to make it two weeks. Not sure, and I still might just MB once tomorrow. But part of me is scared that if I do MB at this stage in the game, I might open up pandora's box again. But the other part of me feels that scheduling it out like this will help retrain me to have self control with it, and not binge with it. So, I'm not sure yet which is best, but I'm leaning towards abstaining for a bot longer. In any case, I know that extending my abstinence goals in bite sized chunks is really helpful to me.

Any advice, guys?

_________________
Current Day of Abstaining:3? (Upd8 3/29/2014)

If you have a worry about opening the Pandora's box again, I recommend you to reschedule your MB day, cause the bad thoughts won't leave you as long as you have that worry inside.

_________________
Sorry if I made grammar or expression mistakes.
My Log: http://www.wetdreamforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=4792
My Guitar Works Topic: http://www.wetdreamforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=5325

Keep going strong squeeze,I will be praying for you,and keep in mind that God`s watching down and he wouldn`t want to see you PMO for sure .....and......p.s: thank you for your positive attitude it has really helped me when I was down and blessings,cheers!

_________________
If everybody does it, something`s wrong with it

Thanks, believer, I just read this. Well, I did PMO last night, two days bef I was supposed to MB, with the addition of P.

Well, at least I didn't return to my MB binge behavior so far and I lasted 11 days PMO free. Hope to make it the full two weeks this time!

_________________
Current Day of Abstaining:3? (Upd8 3/29/2014)

Of course!Go for two weeks.Try to block porn,leave home when you are alone,etc...And if you reach 14 days,I am sure you will,just say to yourself,do I really need to PMO? or do I have better things to do?...you will surely have and when you cross that treshold, you will realize you won`t be pulled into MB or porn so much...p.s.: WDs are amazing man and wayy better than PMO .GOGOGO!

_________________
If everybody does it, something`s wrong with it

Hey Squeeze

Not happy to hear about your recent bust. I also succumbed to P. I'm on day 02 now also aiming for two weeks.

Good luck, bro.

_________________
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."

So I am on Day 5 right now of no MB. Since I have had such a spotty record with this issue, I basically asked my accountability partner to assign for me when my "OK to Mb" days are. He said ok, that is a good idea for now. So, from when we decided this, he said no MB for five days, which will be this Saturday. The last time I mb'd all the way though, was before that, so this sat will actually make it a week.

I lasted 11 days last time; I had had shorter goals that i had made, and then decided to stretch them out longer, like, ok, I made it this far, I feel ok, let's go for three more days and then I can MB once if I want to...I was successful for ten days so I decided to make it two full weeks. But on day 11 I made a really poor choice and looked at some porn clips (which was also forbidden), and gave into MB.

So, I fessed up to my accountability partner and that's when I said, you decide my schedule for now. He said he was proud of me for being honest, and said it is really great that I went for 11 days, but the thing is when I make a commitment, even if it to extend an abstinence period, I need to commit to that 100%. Otherwise, I will justify slipping up in other areas, too. He is right, bec I do that a lot.

He often comes up with consequences when I slip up with goals, which actually helps a lot to reinforce that I am being serious about this. He is pretty creative with them, ha. Like this time I had to write three essays on goals and why I want to quit this and all. He also made me go to bed early, ha. And to help me out, I am not allowed to look at or touch my penis for these five days!! Even when changing or peeing or taking a shower, I have to keep my eyes up. I can only touch it real quick to clean it in the shower, but that's it. That has been a challenge, but it hasn't been too hard, though I did accidently look at it a couple of times before I caught myself, haha. He has done this all himself before, and it helped him to gain control in this area. So, I don't mind him being tough on me. So far, so good!

_________________
Current Day of Abstaining:3? (Upd8 3/29/2014)

You can do it, man! I've got confidence in you!