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Dating rituals of lads are weird and varied but information often emerges in little details and hints. Some even seem to have their own vocabulary within a group or some private way to describe what they do.
I'm not an expert on dating gay or straight but my thoughts are that two boys dating is usually very unsophisticated. Most ads boil down to top-bottom, dick-size, cut/uncut and short summary of acts they will or will not do. A lot emphasize immediately and quick. Even if I am feeling very horny, these sort of offers seem so unerotic. It is hard to imagine travelling two streets away for "a quick empty" never mind the tens of miles some would entail. It does seem the lowest level of male sexuality. I have met bi-lads who become more or less exclusively gay because they reckon lads are so much easier. I'd argue that was part of the case against!
Straight dating practices are harder to get a fix on. Looking at the ads again gives a pretty mixed impression. Some are almost as frank as the gay ones in declaring what they want but more seem to think that what the female craves is sweet-talk of the most insincere kind. Images of nights by the fire and bottles of wine are typically evoked, walks in the country, etc etc. Dangling the prospect of a millionaire life-style is also meant to get their juices running but it always suggests that no one would look at these twerps without their hired-for-the-day sports cars and cheap weekends in country-house hotels.
To read a lot of stuff that gets written, you would think that all teenage and twenties dating is sexually on the green light from day one. In a recent article I read, it was stated that today's kids think oral sex is just like a kiss. Well I did hear of a girl who made herself available to a whole school each break and lunchtime for that purpose but she was regarded as a total freak and sad case even by lads who took advantage of the offer. There are plenty of girls who think they can do the ladette thing but they are still called all the old names and regarded with contempt. Sexually generous girls may be regarded as a bit of fun but I'd say that even very down-to-earth lads are looking for more of a challenge if they want to be publically as opposed to merely pubically connected with a girl. I know this is not equality but I am describing what still really happens.
Not pushing too hard on a first date is still talked of as a sensible strategy for a boy. Waiting a couple of weeks before making any moves at all is also the sort of time-scale some lads mention. Wait too long, though, and she will be thinking you are just a friend or even gay! Again, I know the penny-in-the-slot argument is that it ought to be possible to discuss these things reasonably as a couple but I wonder how often that happens. Much more sexual discussion seems to go on by boys with boys and girls with girls, tending to reinforce gender rôles and stereotypes.
So we get back to the old tanks-empty dating game that I first heard of a few years ago and thought it was a mad idea that just my friend had. Now I have looked it up and it seems to be a well-known debate in some films and tv shows, where it is talked about as loaded or empty weapon.
The two schools of opinion are that emptying the tanks calms your nerves, makes you "cooler", more able to concentrate on turning on the charm and delaying any serious arousal until bedtime. On the opposite side, there are lads who need the spur of raging frustration to motivate them to meet people at all. Given that the social interaction of dealing with real humans is likely to retard sexual response for those more accustomed to pornography, I fit the second profile. I am pretty sure that nearly all gay dating is based on the full tanks model but maybe that's not such a good thing.
Any thoughts? And how widely practiced is the empty-tanks routine? I thought it was rare when I first encountered it but mabe it is a common underground belief.
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Soxoff, Roxoff (That is kinda annoying isn't it?)
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