Wet Dream Forum

I have a previous co-worker, acquaintance, and peer who I respected and considered somewhat a friend, and with whom I am now friends on Facebook with. Recent changes in his life have led me to an interesting crossroad. He's now a practicing homosexual. (I don't know if it includes sex acts with genitalia, or if it's less than that), but I am inclined to break off any and all relation to him, starting with removing him from my "Facebook friends."

But then it strikes me that perhaps this would be "homophobic behavior." And that's bad, right? "Homophobes" are looked down upon, no?

I began thinking further. Our culture has done a great job trying to get "the average joe" to accept and even welcome homosexual behavior. There is definitely a disproportionate amount of homosexual people in TV shows, movies, etc. compared to the actual populace. So would I not be in the same realm as if one of my "ol' pals" became a transvestite? And I wanted to distance myself from him because that kind of thing doesn't jibe with me at all? I mean, lifestyle, sure, but you pick your lifestyle and your friends pick you (or don't pick you), right?

I'm pretty sure I'm just going to break contact from this old near-friend. What do you think? Homophobia is over-played? Or would one be able to accuse me of judging unfairly?

Thats a tuff call man. Coming from a Christian point of view we shoudnt break off freindship with some one just because of there sin. We all struggle with sin its just we see his as on the other end of the spectrem. And so therfore we tend to shy away. Now if he starts flirting with you or whatevs then yeah hes crossed the boundries with you. Im assuming you are Christian right? Ive seen some of your previous posts and you seem like Christian. We as Christians gotta shine God's light to those walking in darkness. He needs to see God's light to expose the sin in his life. He needs you to be an example for him. Hope this helps you out bro.

I'd cut off all contact, and burn an effigy of him. You may want to securely erase all internet cache, history and temporary files to make sure that there is no evidence that you've came into contact with a homosexual on your hard drive.

That's pretty sub-standard sarcasm there, Thursday. You express the most rudimentary form of homophobia-phobia, and that's assuming you're earnest in your sarcasm.

I dunno what keeping the contacts open would really do "for his soul". Plus I don't regularly "keep in touch" like letters, emails, or anything. He is (was?) christian like I try to be. Back in the day, in fact, I had to say I looked up to him for his faith and spirit. At a function of sorts, he sang a song which I think was called "But he healed me". Really powerful and really emotional because he really meant it and he was trying to improve and repent and draw closer to the Lord at the time.

Hmmmm... perhaps it's a question for God. What can I possibly do for him if I choose not to avoid the discomfort and shame of trying to be too accepting of such behavior and instead "keep in touch". Perhaps I can accept not the behavior, but still accept... the person?

Very well put External Midnight. Thats what we as Christians have to do is to accept the sinner not the sin. One way to look at it is that God accepts us but He hates our sin. So we shoud accept others but not there sin. To be honest with ya man I feel uncomfterble around that particuler sin as well but I have to love the person anyway because God loves us.

Can I love him and yet distance myself from him? I'm sure you've answered this question, I'm just having a hard time figuring out the best course.

If someone is a drugie/punk, a christian is to love him anyway, but of course there's a line between acceptable association and too much... oh crap. Halfway through that sentence, I started disagreeing with myself.

Okay. Back to basics. What we KNOW is true. Christians (and all good people) should have brotherly love for all their fellow people. This means caring about their welfare and their personal freedoms and agency. The second thing I know is true is I know that I am disturbed by him and his actions and behavior now. It's not just being femme (femme people are cool and NOT AT ALL the same thing as gay--just like glasses doesn't make you a geek). I mean, he's got a boyfriend, and they at least kiss.
So, I think you're right. I need to dampen my "gag reflex" at his behavior and fraternally (brotherly) love him like I should any human being.

In fact, were I wiser than I am, I would probably see this as an opportunity to exercise love to those who are "difficult for me to love".

(Sigh... this is not the conclusion I was aiming for. When I began this thread, I was dead-set on distancing myself from him and began the conversation just interested in the responses it would have.)

Thanks for your comments. They're most revealing.

Some times God places people in our lives so that we can shine His light to them. God placed this guy in your life because He trusts you to ("brotherly") love him beyond his sin. You dont realy have to be his best freind, but just being an example to him might be enuff for him to open his eyes and see that his life style is wrong. Hope this helps bro.

EM, yeah, this is a hard question. If he weren't a Christian and you were friends w/him already, than it shouldn't make a difference if he started living a homosexual lifestyle or not, 'cause sin is sin, and Paul wrote that were are not to eat (fellowship) with a brother (in the faith) who is sexually immoral, but that that doesn't apply to a non-believer, 'cause then we'd have to somehow leave this world, which is obviously impossible. (I Corinthians 5, especially v. 10-12)

But seeing that he is a Christian, that complicates things. I pretty much agree with Jr8fan that you should still be cool w/him... I don't see a reason to erase him from Facebook if you weren't that close anyway, specially if he isn't causing you to stumble or making you uncomfortable in a personal way. Would he still consider himself a practicing Christian, or no? I think that is the difference. If someone is trying to follow Jesus and yet is being stubborn on an obvious lifestyle sin or trying to cover it up, "disciplinary" action like not fellowshiping w/them needs to be taken so they get the point, otherwise, you and the church are condoning/approving the behavior and acting like it isn't sin or destructive, and it is inviting slander in itself from outsiders. (I Cor. 5:1-6) But if the dude isn't in fellowship w/the church to begin with, you may need to take the opposite approach (if God calls you to this) and consider him a "lost sheep," like the one the shepherd left the 99 for to go after to bring back into the fold in Jesus' parable. (Luke 15)

Either way, it is a tough call, and yes, you should pray about it to see what God wants you to do! Yes, homosexual behavior is sinful, and we shouldn't accommodate to the culture in treating it otherwise (like voting to approve gay marriage), but on a personal level, would you be as put off if the guy was sleeping w/his girlfriend, since Biblically, that is just as sinful? (see I Corinthians 6:9-10) Would you take the same actions against him?

Also remember Jude 22:

22 Be merciful to those who doubt; 23 snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh.

Pray that God would show you which kind of situation this is, and how you should respond, if at all.

Very good advice, Squeeze. Practically took the words out of my mouth.

Yes, I myself have had personal struggles with homosexual behavior and yes I am a strong Christian. Remember that before we all came to Christ we were all condemned sinners. The Moral Pharisee and the hedonistic homosexual both receive the same punishment for their sins. No one is good enough to earn God's approval. Also, No one is so bad that his sin is unforgivable to God. We just have to abandon any hope of saving ourselves and trust in the life saving rescue of Jesus Christ. When we surrender our lives to Christ, Christ takes up residence in the heart and the battle of redemption has begun. Our before Christ days are in the sinful flesh, our "born again days" show a battle between a "Spirit nature" and "carnal nature."

God's grace cleanses every sin, including homosexuality! However, we must have a heart of compassion toward homosexuals. Christ died for them while in their sinful mess, just like he did for each one of us. Many homosexuals have been wounded since childhood and we have never walked a day in their shoes to know what has led them to this destructive lifestyle. What many gay men need is someone to love them with the love of Christ. Help them to see the vanity of empty sex, empty love, and a life driven by sensual lusts. Help them to find purpose, fulfillment, and meaning in life by trusting Christ. The Spirit is stronger than the flesh, but if we begin trusting ourselves our flesh will overtake us and we will find ourselves once again doing sinful things which are not profitable.

John 15:5 and Phillipians 4:13 --- Abide in the VINE

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Only until one tries to give up masturbation, will that person truly treasure the pleasures of abstinence!<br><br>

^^ I agree that the spirit is stronger that the flesh. (I don't agree with the religious text though.) I feel that love is more important that sex - and there are many ways to express our sexual energy (please see my poll*.) Sexual energy is an expression of love.


*http://wetdreamforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=3008

Hate the sin, love the sinner. So to your friend, tell him to abhor what he is doing without condemning himself. Maybe he is just going through a phase? Needs male affirmation perhaps? Someone who sees the man in him and affirms his manhood? I see homosexuals as mere kids who were denied fatherly love and affection.

Sounds like you need some of these.

We should accept others unreservedly for who they are and not what they are. What has changed between you and your friend he has not changed as a person he is still the friend you have always known and loved. but suddenly you discover he is gay, he hasnt changed it is your beliefs and thoughts towards him that has changed. Your friend didnt choose to be gay as you didnt choose to be straight it is the divine love between and physical union of our parents that makes us. God loves every living creature on this earth The bible says that he made us to his own image and likeness. So how can it be right to reject someone because you discovered that s/he is gay that is not loving others unconditionally More a case of if you meet all my conditions then I will love you but if you don't sorry you cant have any part of me. Have you every been rejected by someone you had great admiration and respect, how did it make you feel, just focus on that feeling for a while, It wasnt pleasant it made probably made you feel dejected, loss of self worth and esteem, left feeling confused as you suddenly you didn't know the person as well as you thought you did. Did my friendship over the years mean nothing to him or her I am being an honest and open person living as the person I have always been inside and not living the constant lie of being the person others expect us to be. Remember too "He who is without sin cast the first stone" I was brought up in a very strong catholic family and broke away from the faith when I was 19 because i was disgusted with the narrow minded attitudes that existed. I was a member of the parish committee a meeting was called to discuss the arrangements for the annual May walk/procession. We normally walked on the Sunday evening but they decided to change it to the afternoon. However this created a problem and that was the brass and pipe bands had already been booked by the local protestant church, but said they would be happy to walk together with us and both utilise the bands. Talk about light the blue touch paper and stand well back, we cant be seen walking with the protestants indeed not, Oh no no no. It was the time when the trouble in northern Ireland was at is peak. What could have been a better act of love and faith but to have joined and walked proud together and demonstrate that we can all live together no matter what faith, creed, gender nationality. I was so disgusted I stood up and said "You call yourself Catholics if that is the case I'm finished. I walked out of the meeting and away from the faith.

It's important to have friends in hell itself. You never know when you may need them.

Therefore, I think if you found your friend as worthy himself before you knew about his sodomite inclinations, you should keep him as a friend as he is likely as worthy now. Just make it crystal clear to him that you are straight and have a disgust for sodomy, but that you appreciate him. Let him be the one to split ways if he is so inclined, otherwise just keep the friendship.