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InterestedGirl
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 Posted: Thu Jan 23, 2014 5:28 pm |
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Joined: Fri May 06, 2011 8:40 am
Posts: 676
Age: 29
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 100
Circumcised or Uncut?: N/A - Female
Precum Production: Lots of Precum (more than 4 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 6
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Silk
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: yes
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: 7-8 hours
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 31 Dec 2013
Sex: Female
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This is a convo I had with someone on another site Re: Porn. His nickname is fishcake, mine's edgeofglory.
Submitted by edgeofglory on Mon, 10/07/2013 - 00:09 female denial experience bi female abstinence
OK, starting over yet again today. This time I'm gonna try to really play it clean and have no touching or even porn. No PMO, as I've seen it called. I've actually taken all the porn off my pc, (no silly, I didn't get rid of it: it's on a flash drive) which I may regret in a few days, though by then I won't need it, my imagination will provide more than enough temptation! Which not only means I won't have the porn there to tempt me, but also I don't have to worry if my mom wants to borrow my pc (which I've offred to let her do, as hers is acting up again).
No Porn
Submitted by fishcake on Mon, 10/14/2013 - 13:44.
It took me a year to stop looking at porn compulsively. I still have my PC net access locked down to exclude porn sites (and sadly tumblr, imgur and twitter), and allow a few (this one, literotica and another). Still get the urge to look at porn all evening, but I can't because the password is kept in an envelope in a drawer at work.
As a result: I get erections when they should happen. The down side, for me though, is that I get to the point of orgasm quicker. Also, being with a real live woman, now has started to turn me on again.
I think the problem with internet porn is that it rewires your brain to expect a new image every few seconds. Hence, I'm happy to use literotica or tantalism as it is a narrative and not a plethora of pictures. Currently, I cum once a week, on a Saturday. No one is enforcing this, but it's a useful framework for me to rewire my sexuality a bit. The rest of the week, I just get on with stuff in the evenings, and feel gently turned on that I'm not allowed to cum. Somehow I've managed to mix this kink with coming (cumming) off porn.
I've fallen off the band wagon a few times, but not beaten myself up about it and got back on.
So why stop looking at porn:
1. it was making me feel crap about myself - this dirty secret that I hid from people
2. some of it is of dubious origins
3. it was starting to creep into my mainstream life; I was starting to want to see what my friends looked like naked, and found myself thinking about it a lot when they were round. Now I can see them and just enjoy their company.
4. My penis had stopped working so I couldn't really have penetrative sex anymore.
Nos 1 and 4 were the big issues with me, although looking back, 3 seems rather dodgy.
Don't really know why I've written all this. It was quite a big issue to me. If anyone else out there wants to reduce the amount of porn they look at and are having problems, or are finding that it affects the want they relate to the world in a negative way, feel free to drop me a line at fishcake321@yahoo.co.uk. I don't look at it that often, maybe every week or so, but I will reply in time.
Fishy
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Re: No porn
Submitted by edgeofglory on Tue, 10/15/2013 - 01:48.
I tried going totally free of all erotic material, but I admit towards the end I went and looked up a couple literotica stories. My goal this time was simply to reduce triggers to masturbate as much as I possibly could. I do think stories are prolly better than porn pics/videos, because you don't have the issue of not being sure there was no explotation of anyone going on, and also you have to use your imagination. A lot of ppl on the wet dream forum are trying to go porn-free because of the theory that being forced to rely on your imagination for sexual stimuli helps bring on wet dreams, since a dream is essentially a fantasy you have while asleep.
I don't really know what effect porn would have on my real-life sex life, since I don't have one. 8-( As to number 3 on your list, I find myself wondering what ppl look like naked quite a bit, but I don't know that porn has much to do with that, I do notice I do it a lot more when I'm abstaining from masturbation though, just cause I'm horny all the time so sex is always on my mind. So in a weird way, I'm actually more "sexually pure" when I masturbate frequently, as I get very dirty-minded when I abstain.
I think for me as a female, there are some other issues involved with how porn affects me. For 1, I think number 1 on your list goes double for me, since I think ppl kinda accept that all guys are horny and like to look at naked girls, but women aren't supposed to be very sexual or visually stimulated, so for a woman it seems really perverted. You know, "boys will be boys, and girls will be angels", that sorta thing. Then there's the whole issue of unrealistic expectations about body image and performance that porn perpetuates, that women should look a certain way, men/women are supposed to have huge penises/breasts and be able to get hard/wet and orgasm on command in any situation. Men suffer from that too, of course (I'd seen quite a lot of porn before I ever saw a "typical" man's penis and remember being surprised how "small" the 1st I saw was, now having seen a few I can tell you that porn stars seem to be unusually well-endowed), but I think women feel more pressure to adhere to certain standards of physical beauty.
And then there's the matter of how gender roles are dealt with in porn (the so-called "degradation of women"). I'm not 1 of those who feels all porn degrades women, in fact I find the idea that any female who does porn is a victim, which implies women can't make their own choices and denies our sexuality, to be a degrading idea. I know some porn stars are being used, but some are exhibitionists and get as much pleasure as they give, or just don't place any great emotional significance on sex and see it as just another job.
However, there is 1 area where I beleive I've been negatively affected by how porn treats male-female relations. A part of me kinda feels like it's degrading to a woman to perform fellatio. I have no such feelings towards cunnilingus or a man performing fellatio on another man, so clearly the general idea of oral-genital contact is not the issue. I've even fantasized about sucking off a guy I especially fancy.
But I think my negative attitude stems from seeing so much porn where the man is standing, perhaps partially clothed, while the woman kneels before him, naked. Often with drool running down her chin, tears streaming down her face, while the man pulls her hair and growls "Suck it, bitch!" or words to that effect. And then to cap it off, he either makes her swallow a (to many disgusting) bodily fluid, or else covers her face and body with it, like a declaration of ownership by defilement. Even the maintanence of eye contact, which could be interpreted as humanizing the act, seems degrading to me in this context, the woman always seems to be looking up at the man with an almost fearful desire to please, like a slave or a disobedient puppy.
With a woman recieving oral sex, either from a man or another woman, the set-up is typically much different. It's more likely both participants will have the same amount of clothing, the woman is usually reclining rather than standing, and she's not as apt to engage in hair-pulling and rough dirty talk. Eye-contact is less frequent. Also the whole process is typically much cleaner, both before and after orgasm (even if the woman squirts on her partner, it tends to be clear as water, leaving him more wet than dirty).
Strangely, I don't really have a problem with rough vaginal sex, even mild sadism and humiliation are OK with me in the proper context. But I guess with vaginal sex the woman is not essentially gagged by the man's penis, and her ability to vocalize (and the fact that these vocalizations often indicate she's feeling pleasure) is reassuring. Also I realize that she is more likely to experience pleasure herself during vaginal sex, since the mouth is at best a secondary erogenous zone. And of course, both partners are usually in a similar position, lying down, on knees doggy style, ect, I'm not really bothered about who's on top, since someone has to be. And where kink is concerned, there is usually some fantasy/role-playing element that makes the domination/humiliation, ect. less "personal".
To wrap this up, I still haven't put my porn back on my pc and don't know if I will or not. Don't think I'm ready to go 100% porn-free forever just yet, but maybe cutting back would be a good idea.
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Yes
Submitted by fishcake on Wed, 10/16/2013 - 14:18.
Hi Edge,
I'd agree with you on all this. There's not a lot of porn where there isn't some sort of power exchange going on. The irony of the woman giving a guy a blowjob is that (from personal experience only) when it happens, the woman is controlling the man, not vice versa.
I've never been into pain, perhaps the odd bite, but really. On the few occasions when I've tied someone up, it has been for her pleasure and because the lack of control is turning her on. In a way that's the excitement of OD, in the same way that you don't have control over what happens next if you're tied up, with OD you don't have control over when you cum. You can be edged and be 5 seconds from cumming, but you don't know if it'll be 5 seconds or 5 days. But this can be done without degradation.
There are aspects of degradation that excites me, but not in the way it is portrayed in porn most of the time. To be told to masturbate and when to start and stop: I have enjoyed receiving that as well as giving it. I've been given a hand job from behind while leaning over the sink looking out of the front window. But I've also brought my partner off in a two person swing in a country house too with people wandering by. It's more about control exchange for arousal than degradation, I suppose.
What would equal out porn to a great extend, was if it focused on the woman's arousal and orgasm (or not in our case) as much as the mans.
Enough rambling for one evening.
Fishy
_________________
DATE OF LAST ORGASM: MAR 19, 2014
DAYS SINCE LAST MB: 10 days
WD: Current 0, Lifetime Around 100
SE: Current 0, Lifetime 1
LONGEST STREAK OF AB FROM MB: 30 DAYS
LONGEST STREAK OF AB FROM ORGASM: 40 DAYS
GOAL: AWAITING INSTRUCTION FROM MASTER
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Monkeymagic
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Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2014 8:30 pm |
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Joined: Wed Nov 27, 2013 12:47 am
Posts: 300
Location: Europe
Age: 39
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 100
Circumcised or Uncut?: Uncut (Intact)
Precum Production: Some Precum (2-4 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 15
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Boxer briefs
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: 4-5 hours
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 21 Oct 2014
Sex: Male
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Hi, really great info and very helpful for people to understand the dangers of porn. It's very similar to other strong addictions. The residing of our brains is a big factor. Looking at one person (in a relationship) and enjoying them, being satisfied by them is one of the foundations of a successful long-term relationship and that's what most people want deep down and that's where sex can be at its best.
Thanks for sharing
_________________
The key to WD is no PMO!
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desperatedawg
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Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 11:28 pm |
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| Newbie |
Joined: Wed Jan 22, 2014 10:57 pm
Posts: 9
Age: 43
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 100
Circumcised or Uncut?: Circumcised (Cut)
Precum Production: Little Precum (1-2 drops before ejaculation)
Average time to ejaculation normally: 6
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Briefs
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: yes
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: 1-2 hours
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 14 Jan 2014
Sex: Male
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Im not a fan of porn as it looks so mechanical & artificial. Just 2 people banging each other for the sake of banging. Furthermore, going by the definition of porn, its focus is purely on the participant's genitals. So every sex position adopted & camera angle is done so as to maximise genital action views. Hardly anything to learn or get aroused to. Even the moans sound deliberate. The Japanese girls sounding like kittens mewing during the act is laughable.
What I tend to like a whole lot more are homemade videos. But good ones are hard to find. Here there is so much more sensuality, tenderness & intimacy involved. True the participants are nude but for most time you cant really see their genitals other than hip movements. I dunno whether such things is also considered porn. Perhaps more like exhibitionism or voyuerism kinda thing - 2 people wanting to show the world their intimate & private moments. I look at these just to learn some foreplay tips. These tend to be more of a turn on as it looks more real.
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jay489
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Posted: Mon Apr 14, 2014 2:45 pm |
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Joined: Sun Apr 24, 2011 6:32 pm
Posts: 22
Age: 23
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 0
Circumcised or Uncut?: N/A - Female
Precum Production: No Precum
Average time to ejaculation normally: 15
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Other
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: N/A - never had a wet dream before
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 08 Apr 2014
Sex: Female
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I know this is kinda old but thought I would comment. I miss how easily I got turned on when I was 16/17 when porn was new to me but that's only a problem when I'm watching porn. If I'm with a guy and his dick so much a twitches a little bit against me or I see it, then I'm turned on. Also forehead kisses, neck kisses, and any other softer kisses turn me on quite a bit. Somehow my brain has managed to separate porn from real life which I'm thankful for. When I take a break from porn, real life sex is the same as when I watch it. On the flip side, while taking a break from porn, if I go back to it it only takes one good video to do it. It's weird I guess lol
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javabeanjohnny
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Posted: Tue Apr 15, 2014 9:32 am |
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| Regular Member |
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Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2014 7:03 am
Posts: 29
Age: 17
Number of wet dreams you've experienced: 0
Circumcised or Uncut?: Circumcised (Cut)
Precum Production: No Precum
Average time to ejaculation normally: 6
Underwear worn when going to sleep.: Boxers
Have you ever had a spontaneous ejaculation?: no
If you've had a wet dream before, when did it occur after falling asleep?: N/A - never had a wet dream before
Date that you last had an ejaculation: 06 Jun 2014
Sex: Male
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Writing vs porn I agree is a lot better for the mind. I usually use hentai if I try to PMO, because its not real girls, and it feels safer and better. There are many hentai comics I have read and I have felt a difference between wwhen I use a comic or real porn. Simply watching one or two videos of porn will drain me for the entire day. But the comic only has around half (varies on the material illustrated) the same effect.
Funny thing I learned, full nude hentai is american, because japan censors the privates.
And the whole control thing, that's really a preference, but k do notice that there is a ton more male domination over female domination. I happen to like female domination more, I like fantasizing that i have no idea what she'll do next and any little action could either delay or accelerate my time to orgasm. It also sort of ties to reclining and masturbating rather than humping my bed or something like that.
Dirty talk, defiling, and other things you mention can be categorized as a fetish of some sort. I think everyone has some odd turn on and its up to them to feel llike sharing it. I like the idea of voyeurism, I fantasize of being peeped on by a stranger or even be caught by a friend. I also like feet, which is a very common turn on for people. I happen to prefer small and petite proportions, such as a small b cup chest with a medium or even small waistline (I'm including butt size cus I don't know how girls pants are measired.) and around five foot three in height, this doesn't all mean I MUST have a girl like this, but all the enlargement is a turn off for me so I have to search for those things to get a good PMO session.
_________________
That time when you did that thing and the that thing happens and then there was a bunch of other things that took us to another thing and we all do a thing, remember that? Nope, neither do I.
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