An introduction

[rebelmisfit]

Hey guys. I found this board recently, and have tried to acclimate myself to everything before registering and posting. That said, if I'm posting this in the wrong place, I apologize.

My name is Brian. I'm 40 years old, gay, 190 lbs, circumcised, and - much to my disappointment - I have never had a wet dream. I'd really like to experience one at least once in my life. I'm glad I stumbled onto this site, and it's nice to know there are other guys out there who feel like I do.

Quite a few years ago, I read that abstaining from masturbation can help induce a wet dream. I've tried abstaining twice in the past - once for 12 days, and another time for 9 days. Well, I should say that those are my two longest attempts. I've also had several aborted attempts that only lasted a few days, and aren't really worth mentioning. (For the record, I typically masturbate at least once a day - sometimes more. Usually before bed.)

Currently, I've abstained for 7 days. I've been busy at work and at home, so the first part of it actually went really quickly. Last night, however, was exceptionally difficult. I spent the night tossing and turning. I was very horny, physically aroused, and had a rough time not giving in. Today, as well, I've been extra sensitive to any visual or textile stimulation (I even got erect a couple of times during work, which was frustrating and embarrassing - although I don't think anyone actually noticed).

Thankfully earlier this evening I found a post by windham called "method for reducing intense sexual urges." At first, as I was doing it, I thought maybe I'd made a fatal mistake -- I started to get even hornier and came close to caving in. But eventually those intense feelings diminished, like he said they would. I'm still horny a few hours later, but it's more of a low-grade horniness now. I have to admit, as tired as I am, I've been putting off going to bed in the hopes that I'll be exhausted enough to sleep better tonight. The temptation last night was almost too much to bear.

Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself. Hopefully I'll have the will-power to continue abstaining this time - and, most importantly, hopefully my desire to have a wet dream will be fulfilled. Thank you, guys, for all the helpful info and tips here.

[Darth]

Interesting that you say you want to reduce the feeling of being horny. This would obviously help you get a wet dream because you won't want to masturbate, however I find being exceptionally horny exciting. I wouldn't want to miss out on that part, then again I haven't been too successful so who knows.

Good luck with your quest.

[rebelmisfit]

Hey there, Darth -- thanks a lot for the reply and the encouragement. I usually love being ultra-horny. It's one of those things that makes you feel alive and reminds you that you're a MAN. But right now this excessive horniness is like torture. lol

Last night was every bit as difficult as Friday night. It started out ok -- when I finally went to bed, I was only mildly horny (I swear windham's tips helped on that front) and I fell asleep pretty quickly. But I woke up a couple of hours later, fully hard & throbbing. I then spent the entire rest of the night tossing and turning (I even played Solitaire on my iPod a few times to distract myself).

I normally sleep nude, but after Friday night I wondered if perhaps the stimulation of my sheets was adding to my arousal. So, last night, I decided to sleep in boxer-briefs. Well, that didn't make things any easier, let me tell you!

At any rate, I've made it to Day 8. I'm trying to set smaller goals than just "abstaining indefinitely," so I'm working to make it to Day 9 and tie my second-best past attempt. Then I'll try to tie my best attempt (12 days), and go from there. Baby steps, I guess.

[rebelmisfit]

Well, I'm embarrassed and disappointed to say that I did not make it to Day 9. I got over-stimulated late last night and just couldn't resist taking matters into my own hands to finish the job.

After all that build-up, it actually was a great orgasm and the first shot hit my chest, but I'm still really disappointed with myself that I couldn't make it even one more day.

I'm going to try again though. Just have to work on this willpower thing!

[LuvsCurvy]

On this forum where lots of people achieve 2-digit abstinence periods and 3-digits are not uncommon, it is easy to lose sight of this: in my opinion, anyone who makes it past 7 days has something special in their willpower. Don't be discouraged by a slip up. If you can make it to over a week you can push further.

[spermgod]

hey, welcome, rm- i'm new here, too, though i have a different set of experiences than you (and most of the guys here.) still, i wanted to congrats you on the time you DID succeed in abstaining. as we all know, sexual impulses are natural- including masturbation- and the drive to mate in whatever form that takes is one of the strongest we can experience. to purposefully abstain is difficult. add to that the culture of freely available sexual stimulants and years of habitual behavior and it's a wonder any guy can get anything else done with his day.

what you are trying to do is tame the beast but maybe if a person comes from the position of open and excited motivation such as looking forward to the very real possibility of attaining the set goal of a wet dream, it may be easier to get thru "tough times." i hope i'm making sense here. this suggestion is based on one of the finer points of goal achievement. be cool if it works for you.

in any event, kudos for your willingness to forgo immediate gratification to meet a desired end.- even if you haven't quite reached it yet...

Hey guys. I found this board recently, and have tried to acclimate myself to everything before registering and posting. That said, if I'm posting this in the wrong place, I apologize.

My name is Brian. I'm 40 years old, gay, 190 lbs, circumcised, and - much to my disappointment - I have never had a wet dream. I'd really like to experience one at least once in my life. I'm glad I stumbled onto this site, and it's nice to know there are other guys out there who feel like I do.

Quite a few years ago, I read that abstaining from masturbation can help induce a wet dream. I've tried abstaining twice in the past - once for 12 days, and another time for 9 days. Well, I should say that those are my two longest attempts. I've also had several aborted attempts that only lasted a few days, and aren't really worth mentioning. (For the record, I typically masturbate at least once a day - sometimes more. Usually before bed.)

Currently, I've abstained for 7 days. I've been busy at work and at home, so the first part of it actually went really quickly. Last night, however, was exceptionally difficult. I spent the night tossing and turning. I was very horny, physically aroused, and had a rough time not giving in. Today, as well, I've been extra sensitive to any visual or textile stimulation (I even got erect a couple of times during work, which was frustrating and embarrassing - although I don't think anyone actually noticed).

Thankfully earlier this evening I found a post by windham called "method for reducing intense sexual urges." At first, as I was doing it, I thought maybe I'd made a fatal mistake -- I started to get even hornier and came close to caving in. But eventually those intense feelings diminished, like he said they would. I'm still horny a few hours later, but it's more of a low-grade horniness now. I have to admit, as tired as I am, I've been putting off going to bed in the hopes that I'll be exhausted enough to sleep better tonight. The temptation last night was almost too much to bear.

Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself. Hopefully I'll have the will-power to continue abstaining this time - and, most importantly, hopefully my desire to have a wet dream will be fulfilled. Thank you, guys, for all the helpful info and tips here.

[rebelmisfit]

Thank you LuvsCurvy & spermgod for the encouragement. And thank you both for focusing me back on what I did achieve as opposed to what I didn't. I appreciate it greatly, guys.

Spermgod -- I also liked what you had to say about "open and excited motivation." I definitely think you're onto something with that. I need to avoid falling into the "I can't masturbate" mindset again, and instead remind myself "I'm going to have a wet dream."

Thank you both!

[rebelmisfit]

Been a while since I've posted or updated, so I thought I would.

Life's been up and down a lot over the past few months (including my brother being diagnosed with cancer) -- so my quest to achieve a wet dream was sidelined by stress, worry, etc. I've had a few more aborted AB attempts over the past months, but I always end up needing (or feeling I need) a tension release, so I ultimately start up masturbating again.

I would still love to experience a wet dream though, and I'm hoping that if & when some normalcy returns to life, I can resume my efforts.

[rebelmisfit]

Damnit, I'm having a hard time keeping my hands off of myself tonight. Every distraction technique I can think of, hasn't been working. I never seem to make it to a whole week of ABing -- or, if I do make it to a week, I never seem to last very much beyond it. It's looking more and more like I'm not going to make it to a full week this time.

[rebelmisfit]

Last Sunday (Sept. 15th) when I posted, I hadn't masturbated for a day -- but I also hadn't intended to start another AB run right then. Nevertheless, after I posted, I decided to go for it again. By this past Friday night when I posted, I was having a really tough time refraining from masturbating. I spent a good while reading threads here and then decided to do something I hadn't done before -- visit the chat room.

I'm very glad I did that, as I met a few terrific guys who listened to me and gave me some friendly, helpful advice. I especially enjoyed talking to hh4u (I hope he doesn't mind me singling him out), who really helped me find a new perspective on ABing and on my approach to it. I've had a very single-minded, all-or-nothing approach to all of this, and I've kicked myself a lot when I "fail" at it. Thankfully, after Friday night's conversation, I have a new outlook.

My intention now, is to set smaller goals for myself. 7 days of ABing. 10 days of ABing. And so forth. Not the more daunting notion of ABing with no end in sight (which may work for some guys, but doesn't seem to be working for me).

Also, I have a lot of stress right now, with a close family member dealing with a pretty serious health issue. Since masturbation has always been a stress-reliever for me, I realize that I need to give myself some leeway if I feel I need that release. Without beating myself up for it afterward.

So, that's where things stand with me at the moment. Thanks again to the fellas who talked with me on Friday and helped me so much.

(By the way, should I request to have this thread moved to the Diaries, Logs and Journals section? I don't know if that's even possible, but I realize this thread might not be in the right section now, as it's become more than just me introducing myself.)

[smilingibis]

I think some of the problems people have with ABing is setting goals and then getting disappointed in not meeting them. Just don't be too hard on yourself. It's not like masturbating is a sign of deep moral failure. It's just a potential delay in obtaining a WD--which you may or may not have anyway.