Wet dream and orgasms help.

[Andy90]

So I'm 22 male, now I've had several wet dreams in the past and achieved orgasm at some point during those dreams, and therefore know what it feels like, however, I can't seem to ejaculate or even reach anywhere near orgasm when masturbating. I can most of the time get precum, but that is all, either I just rub and nothing happens (meaning my penis is actually inflated after due to the long rubbing of it), or I'll rub, get a small amount of precum and that's it.

My girlfriend (we are currently long distance) is the only person who can make we wet without me even touching myself, for example we regularly have Skype sex sessions, and just knowing that she can see me masturbating in front of her is enough to turn me on, but again I'll masturbate while she watches and I'll be thinking about her, or even look at pictures, and I still can't orgasm.

Could this be psychological as I should try and focus more and be in the mood for masturbation? I really do try and focus just on that one thing and not be distracted. Or, could it be a body issue? I've read a alot of stories about people not being able to ejaculate, not maintaining erections, unable to orgasm etc.

Any help much appreciated, thanks.

[Oldwise_Version_Two]

This sounds like it maybe psychological and you maybe putting yourself in a vicious circle, where you worry about it so much that your not ejaculating that you don't ejaculate through masturbation because of the worry!

99% of the time it is psychological and it maybe worth seeing your GP just to rule out any physical conditions that maybe causing it. Your GP could even provide some help if your not reaching orgasm and ejaculation for psycological means. However there is a few questions you may need to ask yourself in private, because if something happened the first time you didn't orgasm that may have led to anxiety that would have blocked sexual responses the second and subsequent times you tried to masturbate. For instance:

When did you last masturbate to ejaculation or have a wet dream?

Have you considered different methods of masturbation? http://www.jackinworld.com/ could help try a different technique?

If the last time you ejaculated was through masturbation what was you doing the last time you ejaculated?

If the last time you ejaculated was through a wet dream were the contents of that dream taboo or traumatic?

Did you do anything or experience anything differently the first time you didn't reach orgasm and ejaculation?

What is your relationship with pornography like? How much do you use it?

Did you have a childhood upbringing where the subject of sex was considered bad or even taboo?

Do you have any religious inclinations where the subject of sex is considered bad or even taboo?

Are you worrying about any aspect of your long distance relationship even subconciously?

Has anyone put you under extreme pressure to perform sexually or have you been putting yourself under extreme pressure to perform and orgasm to ejaculation?

My initial advice is to stop putting pressure on yourself and maybe even stop masturbating for a while, a week or possibly up to a month (or more) and see if that makes any difference masturbation or wet dream wise. If you dont look at pornography on a regular basis (and your moral code allows it) perhaps try to watch porn without masturbating at all.

My apologies but just some thoughts.

[Rey92]

I certainly cannot finish off when I'm sad and lonely. It feels like forever so then I stop.

[Texanguy]

Andy90, if you have wet dreams fairly often and enjoy them, and/or can have sex if your relationship with your girlfriend includes it, then I wouldn't worry about it.

In fact you should consider yourself lucky. This whole site is dedicated to replacing masturbation with wet dreams, since most people will tell you that a good wet dream is far better than masturbation. Many guys reach the point where they no longer want the MB habit and would prefer wet dreams as their outlet, yet many have trouble reaching that goal. Ideally, a guy who successfully quits MB and replaces it with WDs is not going to keep thinking about or wanting to MB, and in fact may even be turned off by it.

What are your WDs like? What do you dream about, and do you enjoy them? If your WDs are positive and enjoyable experiences, be happy that you don't have the MB habit and have the ability to have and enjoy your wet dreams.

[scrubmonkey]

I remember the first time I got super physical with my girlfriend - she was jacking me off and I couldn't come. I ended up being totally rubbed raw. I felt horrible after that. But it was just a mental thing. It's one of those "the more you think about it, the worse it gets, and the more you think about it" kind of things.

Don't see ejaculation as the "end" - see it just as one part of the entire experience.

[Andy90]

Thanks for responses.

Have you managed to cum since then? During oral sex, handjobs, and intercourse? Was it just about trying to focus on the sexual side and not be distracted? As people have mentioned the mental side is very important and if you're not thinking about it enough or feel anxious, then yeah, which is what happened to me, and I was trying to focus but I just couldn't help being anxious as it was my first time - even though I really wanted to do it. The ejaculation issue is just that next time I want to have sex with her and everything else, and I want to be able to feel like I can do it and not have this mental block and worry.

[amora]

From experience, your situation means you need to get a different form of stimulation. You need to have an open mind. Try using a lot of lube. If you're cut, stimulate the head of your penis. If you aren't cut, pull the foreskin down as much as you can so that it border on pain and pleasure. When you are at either point depending on your cut status, then massage yourself by continuing to stroke yourself, and then massage your balls.... and if you are really still in need of stimulation or other things to get aroused, then play with you hole. That might sound weird, but it works. Try tickling your hole or spreading you cheeks and rubbing it on something smooth and firm, like a bed. I hope this helps and doesn't weird you out.

Good luck!